Professional mess;; Beautiful Wreck

The name is Ashley Autumn The good, the bad and the ugly. I am perfectly imperfect. I am a professional mess and a beautiful wreck. I am bisexual Hate me. I am single. I am Southern California grown. <3 I have Cerebral Palsy. I can guarantee I will piss you off. I can guarantee I will make your day. Try me. I do not own any of the pictures I post unless otherwise stated. :) My Countdown

[autumnthequeen-blog]

Happy 3rd birthday my monkey! I love you to pieces! Please stop growing!

[autumnthequeen-blog]

My whole world 😍😘 #bryannalee #mylittlehuman

[gotinstarblog-deactivated201512]

[half-black-phillip]

I’m so mad because this worked

[britney2007spears]

help me roger

[telanu]

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

[luthienebonyx]

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

[riskpig]

………my friend has made me curious

[maryburgers]

help me roger

[maryburgers]

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

[zombbeans]

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

[strangenewclassrooms]

I don’t believe in these things

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Roger is cute.

[artistluv]

When the honeymoon stage ends what happens

…………

[ceraycarter]

You’re more honest with each other. Bodily functions are something to laugh about. Sweatpants and tee shirts are a regular thing. They know what you look like without all the makeup. Being “laid up and watching Netflix” is the only thing you’re looking forward to after work. You don’t go on fancy dates as often but you trade that for quality time. You find yourself being more vulnerable and you open up more. They become your best friend. You will able to talk about anything. You won’t be worried about impressing their parents, you’re just gonna love them anyway regardless of how their parents may feel. You will have inside jokes that no one else will get. Sex is not as often but, twice as passionate. Little fights will happen, but you’ll learn not to sweat the small stuff. You’ll learn what compromise really is about. You’ll dream about the future together. Grow together. Be on each other’s team. See their ugly crying face, and be the one to wipe the tears away & do something stupid to make them life. things are amazing after the honeymoon stage. However, it’s a time about giving up your walls and open up some doors you have locked a long time ago.

That’s why some people don’t make it past this point, because they don’t know what unconditional self-love means. Remain open and optimistic, love will never fail you.

[myreticentvale-deactivated20231]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

Couldn’t scroll

[autumnthequeen-blog]

Only my dad. Lol #itsmybirthday #iwasapreemie #daddysgirl

[autumnthequeen-blog]

My Layla Grace ❤️ 💋 😍😘

[autumnthequeen-blog]

I love her so much ❤️

[autumnthequeen-blog]

I love her so much 💜

[autumnthequeen-blog]

The Rules of Improvisation

AGREE, SAY YES:: "Freeze I have a gun!" and you say, "That's not a gun. That's your finger. You're pointing your finger at me." The scene has ground to a halt. But if you say " That's the gun i gave you for Christmas! You bastard!" Then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is a Christmas gun.

YES,AND...:"I can't believe it's so hot in here." You say "Yeah." The scene has ground to a halt. But if you say " What do you expect? We're in Hell." Then the scene has started implying that we are both in Hell.

MAKE STATEMENTS: Whatever the problem is, be part of the solution. Don't just ask questions. Make a statement.

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES: There are no mistakes, only opportunities. If I start a scene with what I clearly believe is a cop riding a bicycle, but you think i'm a hamster in a hamster wheel, guess what? I'm a hamster in a hamster wheel. I'm not going to stop everything to explain what it's supposed to be. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up being a police hamster who's been put on a "hamster wheel" duty because I'm "too much of a loose cannon" in the field.

[find-the-beauty-within]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

[priincessolivee-deactivated2025]

I tried to scroll past this. I really did.

[invisiblelad]

I feel like minor acts of kindness and good intentions are really important on days like this. 

[rickrosswifey-deactivated201504]

You ok? You need me to eat you out? Make you a sandwich? Talk to me

[silkktheshocka]

Why isn’t everyone this way

[fuckprayeat]

HONESTLY

[thantophobiaxo]

This IS MY LIFe

[autumnthequeen-blog]

I’m not mad, I’m disappointed...

There is a difference. I’m not mad because you went to the store and got yourself food for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow. I’m disappointed because you didn’t ask if I was hungry and you didn’t think about what I would eat while you are at work tomorrow. I’m disappointed because I would think about you if the roles were reversed. I would never feed myself when you are around and not ask if you are hungry. I would never make you feel excluded time and time again after you mentioned multiple times that I did the same thing to make you feel that way over and over again. People stick up for you and tell me that you’re just forgetful and you have a lot on your mind but I’m beginning to believe otherwise.

[redcoldangel]

*Hears the beginning of I Write Sins Not Tragedies* … *Jumps down stairs* *Crashes into room* OH. *Punches lamp* WELL IMAGINE *Kicks through window* AS IM PACING THE PEWS *Flips couch over* IN A CHURCH CORRIDOR *Throws coffee table out window* AND I CANT HELP BUT TO HEAR *Kicks wall* NO I CANT HELP BUT TO HEAR AN EXCHANGING OF WORDS *Grabs you by the shirt collar* WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING

[museum0fmyheart]

[bi-vexual]

I reblog it every single time I see it.

[notednine-deactivated20150301]

Something really beautiful about this

[swimming-through-the-stereo]

This is everything i never knew i needed

[thatsthat24]

Not ashamed to say I cried joyful tears.

[thiskidfrom01-blog]

This just touched the heart I never knew I had.

[missy818]

Reblog every time

[braingremlinmovedblogs-blog]

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FUCKER SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

[biggggblack]

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

[harukatachibanaa]

This post is my life force

[sparrow-va]

note to self: make an audio post of this

[majesticaljeff]

It is 1am and i am going to wake my entire house from laughing

[fuckyeahsterekfeels]

[lovequotesrus]

Everything you love is here