Not good, not bad, just average.

The name's Mark, but you can call me Average. Pronouns are he/him, though they/them works too. [tw for unreality]

[wifegideonnav]

affirmations for bus drivers: i am sexy and necessary for society to function 💞 ten minutes is not that late 💞 i can fit through that gap 💞 the passengers don’t need to sit down before i blast away from the bus stop 💞 i can take this turn as fast as i want 💞 twenty minutes is not that late 💞 everyone on this bus desires me carnally 💞 thirty minutes is not that late 💞

[averagebusdriver]

do you take credit?

Yes, however I only accept it through purchasing a bus ticket at "https://goodbus.inc/tansit/fares/gbr5212021". But I can accept bribes with cash.

[averagebusdriver]

Update: I no longer accept payment from this site, as the link should no longer work. If not, I'm probably screwed. But otherwise, all fares are now exclusively accepted via bribes.

[averagebusdriver]

Trick or Treat

It's? Halloween already? Well, I don't have any candy or anything. But I suppose I'll let you ride the bus for free next time if you want. That's close enough right?

[averagebusdriver]

I am probably risking my life reaching out to YOU of all people, considering my background, but.

You were the first I remembered having seen in route a long time ago, and I need to know

If you maybe know ... where Mothman or Lost are?

Or if They got them?

Though i guess it makes sense Lost would be really hard to find

I've been trying to hide for a long, long, time, but that's driven me (no pun intended) to stray away from everyone I knew.

-Dino Bus-Driver

Uh. No, I haven't seen them in ages. Have you not been able to contact them? And no, I'm not currently able to access that information, sorry.

[nepofledgling]

THIS!!

[averagebusdriver]

(Rentry version (Makes it easier to read via better paragraph formatting than Tumblr allows))

Average sat upon the roof of his bus, parked in a vast field of long, dry, dead grass, a little ways away from any road, but not far enough to be completely inaccessible to it. He watched the sun setting, deep in thought.

It had only been a few days since their deal with the ever mysterious Buspassenger, yet it was still cemented within their mind.

Did he trust her? Absolutely not. It was rare for Average to trust anyone beyond himself. His affiliation bounced around quite a lot, being with one group one moment, then the enemy the next, all in pursuit of his own self-interest. As such, being completely unsuspicious of anyone could be a lethal mistake, sometimes even at best.

It was a calculated risk, though. For they knew what the consequences would be if they were to go back to Good Bus Inc. The cryptids could only dream of doing what GBI would do if they found out he was still alive.

It wasn’t like this wasn’t the first time he turned on GBI, either. He’d been through this plenty before, and, like the skilled veteran he was, he knew exactly how to avoid GBI, even just for a little while.

Before this, he had removed tracking chips, disconnected from the GBI networks, turned off and disassembled cameras, among other things in pursuit of removing himself from GBI’s ever-watching gaze. Despite being exceptional in surveillance, their system had quite a few holes in it, as long as you knew where to look.

He even considered disassembling the devices that held the bus’s AI assistant, though the damn thing hadn’t been functional in years, and had proven to not be any threat in his previous escapades.

As far as Good Bus Inc. was aware, he was as good as dead.

-

The sudden sound of crickets chirping rouse Average from his deep thought. The sun had set, and the only light left was the ones from within the bus, and the glow of his employee-grade GoodGlasses™ (which thankfully already had their tracking chip removed, and didn’t have hypnotic features like the cryptid-grade GoodGlasses™) that had come with his uniform when he first started working with GBI.

Carefully, he navigated his way down to the ground, and back into his bus. He had re-arranged the innards of his bus a bit, to allow for him to switch between normal seating for everyday use by passengers, and temporary living accommodations, as well as curtains to divide the space up a bit and allow for some privacy when used as living quarters.

It was far too dangerous for him to return to his home, as Good Bus

knew where it was, and that he, with time, would be there. While living in a bus wasn’t a glamorous lifestyle, it was at the very least somewhat cozy, and that was good enough for Average.

With a yawn, they tiredly stumbled over to their simple, yet surprisingly comfortable makeshift bed at the back of the bus.

While he was supposed to keep a low profile due to the threat of his own demise constantly looming over him, he was still not exempt from his duties as a bus driver. He lived in a capitalist society, after all, and still had to make enough to eat somehow. Thankfully, it was fairly easy to lie low despite this, as he knew to avoid the main roads as much as possible and stay far away from his normal route and the area where he lived.

He still had much to do tomorrow, not to mention his job adding to that, and he had stayed up far too late already. Hopefully, Average thought, he wouldn’t be too tired tomorrow, as being fatigued and unable to detect GBI's

surveillance could be a death sentence. As he closed his tired eyes, he drifted off into a quiet, dreamless slumber.

-

Average awoke to sudden, bright white light in a confused and frightened state, covered in sweat and his breathing rapid. His gaze darting around frantically, he regained some of his lost composure when he realized the light was coming from within the bus, rather than outside. He had seemingly not been found.

The coast was not yet clear, though. For the bus’s lights being on was already an abnormality on their own. Average had turned them off before going to sleep, and the only way they could be turned on was by controls located at the front of the bus, far from where he was. The only way they could’ve possibly been on like this was if someone else had broken in and manually turned it on themself.

Carefully, as to remain as quiet as possible, he rose to his feet and grabbed the nearest object suitable for self-defense, a metal pipe left over from the renovations on his bus. While Average was a fairly lean man and by no means muscular, he was at the very least somewhat skilled with blunt weaponry. Even with improvised equipment like this, he was very capable of knocking a person out, but not quite able to kill, which was more than good enough to deal with any potential intruders.

Weapon in hand, he marched forward, anxious yet determined. As he reached the front of the vehicle, he raised the pipe in anticipation, before quickly drawing the curtain back to reveal the trespasser and catch them off-guard.

No one was there.

He frantically searched around the bus, searching for something, anything, that would explain this, exits, hiding spots, clues. All to no avail. Windows unbroken, doors locked, everything untouched.

Average was alone in his bus. Nobody else was around. He was quite possibly the only intelligent creature in the area for miles.

“I’m sorry for startling you, Mark.” uttered a voice, surrounding Average. Almost human-sounding, but far too monotone and robotic for it to have belonged to one. “It was not my intention to give you such a rude awakening like this.”

“I am GoodBus 5212021. It is a pleasure to finally be acquainted with you properly.”

[hungry-skeleton]

The legends were true

[sweetpeauserboxes]

[id: a light blue userbox with a pastel blue border, and pastel blue text that reads “this user’s special interest is buses” on the left is an image of a blue bus. /end id]    

[dancinggrimm]

This bus company in my area has taken to giving its vehicles names. This one could have used a bit more constructive criticism.

[tsatsuma69]

I had the privilege of riding bussy once

[tsatsuma69]

an honerable mention: my chariot oh my chariot, bussy galore

[justthebus]

last post before i go into the acres again. did you know theres a bus rulebook all buses have to abide by, with only 35 rules? the 34th rule is the most surprising. search up 'bus rule 34' to learn m

[yamada-ryo]

No way

[yamada-ryo]

So nice you see her twice

[heavensghost]

bus drivers are never neutral they are either heaven sent or deeply evil to their core

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[f13nds]

[gimmickblog-taxonomist]

Has someone suggested the bus drivers (BDU) yet? Like @goodbusdriver or @averagebusdriver. (There is a LOT out there though)

this blog is exposing me to some interesting communities. who knew people roleplayed public transit? the wonders of tumblr. to the cataloging list it goes.

[gimmickblog-taxonomist]

oh my fucking god the google doc is 4 pages long. i'm tabling this one for when i have more time and less sanity

[averagebusdriver]

Coward.

[averagebusdriver]

do you take credit?

Yes, however I only accept it through purchasing a bus ticket at "https://goodbus.inc/tansit/fares/gbr5212021". But I can accept bribes with cash.

[averagebusdriver]

meow

......Meow?