Grab A Pen, Life Is Happening.

23|She/Her/Hers

[averted-angst]

If you make your way back to me, I promise

I will try.

I will keep an open mind

And I will give grace when I don’t understand.

When I’m confused and unsure, I promise

I will listen.

I will be patient and kind

And I will choose to believe in you, even when I’m second guessing my own heart.

I promise,

I will spend my days proving to our past lives,

They made the right choice finding each other time and time again.

And I promise, this time we’ll get things right.

[wedarkacademia]

Yeah now we've entered the back pain stage

[averted-angst]

I’ve spent years feeling cheated out of a future that would have never been.

Years holding on to promises that were never yours to make.

I’ve mourned and grieved the “Somedays” and the “Maybes” that never came to be,

All the tomorrows I had hoped for, never even giving the Sun a chance to set-

We never stood a chance.

[emotionalwords]

[averted-angst]

I’m tired

Of thinking I had it in me.

But I think I’m ready now, to stop pretending

And to try again,

To be friends,

To have my heart broken and lose all sense of myself

I’m ready, to do it all over again

And again

And again

Until one of us finally pulls the trigger.

[averted-angst]

Another lifetime has passed us by

And again, we couldn’t get it right-

Till the next one.

Till our last one.

[averted-angst]

I can’t promise you forever, for I don’t have that kind of time

But I can promise you my all, for as long as it may last.

And I can’t promise you my heart, I lost it long ago

But I can promise you to care for yours, as if it were my own.

Will you trust me?

[averted-angst]

I used to lie awake mourning the loss of who I once was.

Now I spend my nights getting to know the person I’m becoming.

Both cruel reminders of how much you once mattered, reminders that you’re the reason behind each sleepless night.

[averted-angst]

I needed you to know, to feel how I once felt.

I wanted you to finally understand.

Except...I could never live with myself knowing you’d be hurting like I once did,

I’d never wish such pain on my worst enemy let alone someone I loved.

But where do you draw the line for someone who has become both?

How can I move on when it kills me to let go and it hurts like hell to stay?

[averted-angst]

I’m a fool,

Pining after you.

Seeking you in day dreams.

Finding only night terrors,

You’re beyond reach.

I’m a fool,

Left with hands stretch out and empty.

[averted-angst]

With all the certainty in the world I can promise you this,

No one will ever love you like I did.

Not even I if given a second chance.

Little remains of the girl who loved you with her whole self-

She wasn’t enough for you at her best, much less now that she’s at her worst.

[averted-angst]

I begged you to let me love you.

I was convinced that the longer I stayed, the louder my pleas would sound.

...And sooner or later you’d hear me crying out for you.

[wordsforpower]

That's what this family does, that's what this family is. You taught me to throw a punch. Taught me to take one, too.

-my poem

[heavenishell1]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝗺𝐞 𝐡𝗼𝐰 𝐭𝗼 𝐥𝗼𝐯𝐞, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝗼𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭.

[remanence-of-love]

[christophermcgeownwriting-deact]

‘white flag’

[averted-angst]

Haunted by demons we couldn’t tame, plagued by feelings we couldn’t name; we didn’t know any better.

We were just kids; confused, lost, and far too young to know what would come next.

And as if time wasn’t doing a good enough job, life forced us to grow up far too fast and face a world that wasn’t ready for us.