pretty hurts. ♥

Avery Mikaela Whittaker TWENTY. GEMINI. MADE IN SAVANNAH, GEORGIA - USA. ♥ Her feelings she hides. Her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind. She's fallen behind. She can't find her place. She's losing her faith. She's fallen from grace. She's all over the place.

[allsonargent]

[avery-whittaker]

Avery Whittaker + cardigans

[hotelhellrpg-deactivated2015100]

There is nothing better than a nice cup of coffee, honestly.

[avery-whittaker]

I beg to differ. Have you ever had a Valencia Orange from Starbucks?

[lydiamartindaily]

You are so out of our league.

[avery-whittaker]

"You know I can’t do that." He said and looked at Avery when she opened the door only wide enough to see him while she spoke. "Avery, you-" he couldn’t believe he was going to say it, "you need help." He swallowed and shook his head as he held onto the vial. "I can’t give it back to you. If anything happens to you, it will kill me." He shook his head and stepped back, leaning against the wall. He let himself drop down and he wrapped his arms around his knees. "I care about you, so much. That’s why I can’t give this back to you, you get that? You need to promise me you’ll stop, Avery. Do you understand me?" he said and looked up at her, "you need to stop."

It was so much easier said than done. She wasn’t about to make a promise she knew she wasn’t physically capable of keeping, either. She couldn’t do that to Kingston. She shut the bathroom door behind her and leaned against the wall opposite of him, mimicking his motions as she fell to the ground gingerly. Her eyes, throat, and nose ached considerably, and she knew any remnants of her high were now beginning to cease. “Don’t do that, King. Don’t judge me, okay?” She lolled her head back, trying to remember what life was like before Atlanta, what she’d be doing right now if she hadn’t gone to begin with. “I know you want to hate me, if you don’t already, and I don’t blame me. I kind of hate me.” 

[avery-whittaker]

"Hold up. What are you- Are you high right now? Huh? Avery, I know you. Come on. Don’t- Don’t act like this. You’re not like this, okay? Talk to me.” He looked at her with a worried look on his face.

"You know I’m not going to leave." He screamed as she walked off. He heard a door close shut and he frowned as he walked towards where Avery had disappeared. "Avery, come on. Open the door. Talk to me." 

This was exactly why she’d chosen to alienate herself from everyone for a few days, especially Kingston. She was angry—angry at herself for what she was doing, at him for finding out. “Please, just leave,” she spoke hoarsely from the opposing end of the door. She ran a hand towel under the faucet and damped it with lukewarm water. Avery then dabbed it against her nose, wiping off the excess blood that had pulled at her neck. She washed her hands, forcing herself to ignore what Kingston was saying. She hoped he’d get sick of trying to break past her impermeable wall and just leave. She was ashamed, and the guilt alone was enough to send her urges toppling over the edge. She’d only done it a few times in Atlanta and once since being home and it’d been enough to make her wonder how she’d managed life without it. 

Alas, she pried the door open, but only wide enough to see him while she spoke. “If you really wanted to help, you’d give it back. And if you really care about me, you won’t tell anyone—not my parents, my brothers, Don. No one.” Her eyes flashed to his fist, which resided at his side, still encasing the vial. She opened the door wider and force her hues to his. 

[bloodxndgold]

Visit Original Link

[phonecorner-deactivated20151219]

[avery-whittaker]

"Come on, Avery. I’m not stupid. Don’t pretend like it’s not yours. I know you, and I know when you’re lying," he spat the words out. Angry at her for lying. He couldn’t believe it. Avery - the girl who seemingly had it all together. She was snorting coke? 

"No. Your friend shouldn’t be doing this.” He hated seeing Avery like this, and the fact that she was so desperate to have it back made him even more sure it was her that used it and not this so called friend of hers. He swallowed when she grabbed hold of his shirt. “Why would you do this? Do you want to fuck up your life, Ave?” He shook his head, disappointed at her. “I can’t believe you.”

He didn’t understand, and she didn’t expect him ever to, anyway. No one understood. She furrowed her brows. She couldn’t deal with this. “Whatever, Kingston. Quit acting like you know me. You don’t know the first thing.” She pulled away, and swallowed hard, although doing so couldn’t diminish the insatiable ache in her throat to fight for it. In her right mind, Avery would’ve never spoken to Kingston the way she was. She’d never disrespected him or spoken to him in such a spiteful tone.

A part of her hoped he’d forgive her, but she’d never forgive herself. She felt a trickling sensation wander down her face, onto her shirt, and onto the hardwood floor beneath her. She concealed her face with her hands, veiling the blood as she pulled away. “Get out of my house, Kingston. Leave me alone.” She shot the vial one last look of desperation before kicking a box out of the way and meandering down the hall. She shouldered past the first door she could find, the guest bathroom, and locked herself in it. 

[avery-whittaker]

"Kingston," he heard his name being called out and he turned around to look at her, holding a small vial his hand. "What’s this? Huh?" he asked, knowing fully well what it was. He had been friends with Zay for years - and he had seen this once or twice before but never used himself. "Is this what you’ve been doing in Atlanta?”  he asked, his voice raising while he wrapped his hand around the small viral of coke. 

She was stunned, at a loss of words, unable to formulate comprehensible phrases to defend herself. “I—it’s not mine.” It was all Avery could manage. Her eyes never waned from the vial he encased within his fist and her throat ached. She fell to her knees and began gathering the contents that had spilled from her purse, shoving them mindlessly into her coral Coach bag. It was all she had until her next visit to Atlanta, and she didn’t know when that would be, so it needed to hold her over. She sniffled from her crying earlier and set her bag aside, feeling a sudden prodigious sense of ineptness wash over her. When she finally found the will to stand up, her instinct was to try to snatch the vial away. “Kingston, it belongs to a friend. Give it back. It’s none of your business.” She grew defensive and tried to retrieve it, although his grip of it was impenetrable. “Don’t do this. Please don’t do this, Kingston. Give it to me.” The desperation in her voice couldn’t go unnoticed as she clung to his shirt, begging for him to appease her. 

[avery-whittaker]

I know one girl who can prove you wrong.

Same as always: starving. I want tacos. Do you like tacos?

Whoever she is... you deserve better.

I love tacos. We never went for pizza. Let's brunch? 

[avery-whittaker]

Shut up. You’re very kind, but I think I’d die trying to find a girl prettier than you.

How are you?

Oh, shut up! You can get any girl you want, and you know it.

I'm... starving! How are you?

[avery-whittaker]

"And….?" he pushed and looked at Avery - he hadn’t seen her like this before. She looked absolutely exhausted - black bags underneath her usually beautiful-looking eyes and he couldn’t help but feel as if something bad had happened while the two of them had been in Atlanta. Or, well, something must have happened. Why would she act like this? he thought and instantly shook his head. "I’m not leaving until you tell me what you were going to tell me. Did something happen in Atlanta? Did he hurt you? Or Courtney?" He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back, standing put in his place while tapping his good foot against the floor. "And you know I won’t leave any time soon. When my mind’s set on something, I’ll wait until I get it."

Although Avery loved Kingston, she didn’t owe him an explanation. They were nothing but friends with benefits, but hadn’t gotten to really enjoy the ‘benefits’ because she’d been away. Obviously, he’d found enough to preoccupy himself with whilst she was in Atlanta. “Nothing happened in Atlanta. We had an amazing time, and we’re thinking of going back again, really soon.” She turned away from him, fell to her knees before the coffee table, and pried her laptop open again. The doorbell rang and she trembled, for it had startled her. “That must be Golden Dragon. I’ll be back.” She dug through her purse again for her wallet, and managed to drop it, spilling most of its contents. Upon retrieving her card, she jumped over her belongings and headed suit for the front door. She yanked it open, gathered the brown bag in her arms, and allowed him to swipe her credit card and hand it back. She shut the door behind her and turned on her heel, maneuvering past the boxes and into the living room. “Don’t worry about that mess; I’ll pick it up later. Kingston?” She dropped the bag on the coffee table and her heart plummeted into her stomach as she saw him lift a vial from the ground. 

[avery-whittaker]

Kingston couldn’t believe Avery’s behavior. She was bluntly lying and ignoring him. This made him even more angry and he walked over, grabbing the remote as she settled on some documentary on Discovery Channel. It was about sharks. “Courtney moved in?” he said and frowned, not sure if he believed her or not. He could have sworn he saw some of her things in the boxes but he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Avery wouldn’t lie, would she?  

"I’m the asshole here? Really, Avery…? I’ve been worried sick about you. Do you know what- I thought something had happened to you. Suddenly, you were gone; you didn’t pick up your phone when I called, but posting photos on Instagram, you had time to post those and hang out with different guys every night but giving me a quick call to let me know if you were okay or not…" He frowned angrily. "That makes me the asshole? Worrying about you? Well, then let me be the asshole. I don’t fucking care." Kingston rarely swore, only when he was really frustrated and that was exactly what he was right now.  

"Barely," he mumbled and shook his head, sighing. He kept his brown eyes locked with Avery’s face. "I don’t believe you. You don’t look fine." 

Truth be told, Avery wasn’t fine. She hadn’t slept or eaten in days. Takeout was her first meager attempt to feed herself since last Wednesday, and even now, she couldn’t stomach the thought of all the fried food she’d be consuming. It made her sick just thinking about it, but she knew she had to eat something. Beneath the concealer and foundation were pale skin and dark circles under her eyes. Had she not smothered her face with bronzer, blush, and lip gloss, she’d look transparent, and almost as empty as she felt on the inside. No one would’ve noticed the difference, but it figured that Kingston had. Before she could come up with a thousand reasons as to why she shouldn’t tell him what she’d done, she managed to find one reason to confess: she loved him. Her hands were shaking as she neared Kingston, and her first instinct was to hide her face in his chest. Her words were inaudible against his shirt as she began. “We met this guy at the Blue Lily—some club in the bad parts of Atlanta—and he said he recognized Courtney from the TV, and he bought us drinks. He told us we were pretty, really pretty… too pretty to be locked up in Savannah, and he invited us to a party at his house. And…” She tried to catch a breath between phrases, but it all seemingly came out in a muddle. Her chest ached, as did her stomach, and she didn’t know if it was because of her hunger or the withdrawals she’d been having. She inhaled softly; suddenly catch a whiff of an unfamiliar perfume on his shirt. She wiped her face with the back of her hand as she pulled away. “It doesn’t matter. Nevermind. Please leave. I have things I need to get done.”

[avery-whittaker]

Kingston huffed and walked past Avery, staring at the walls as he entered the house. This place would never not impress him; he realized and licked his lips as he turned and watched as Avery closed the door behind him. He then walked into the living room and he could feel her following him. That’s when he noticed boxes around and he raised an eyebrow at her. Was she moving? He turned around when she said she was going to call him back and he couldn’t help but let a dark chuckle leave his lips. 

"Somehow, I highly doubt that," he responded honestly as he stepped back and nodded towards the boxes on the floor. "Are you moving?" He asked and looked at Avery, his chest tightening at the thought. The way she spoke felt like she had been throwing knives at him and he swallowed as he tightened the grip across his chest. "Yet, here I am, talking to you - trying to get answers of why you’ve been ignoring me since you magically appeared in Atlanta,” he spat the words at her and stared, a sigh escaping his lips quickly as he moved his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing the area with a frustrated look on his face, “and I’m not going to dignify that question with an answer.” 

“No,” she responded, blunt as can be, as she kicked a box to the side and reached over the coffee table for the remote. She turned down the television and began flipping through the channels, not too preoccupied with finding something entertaining to watch, but rather looking for an excuse not to meet his gaze. She settled on some documentary on Discovery Channel about sharks. “Courtney moved in. We’ve got all these spared bedrooms, so I told her she could stay with me until she finds a place of her own.” It was the half-truth—most of these boxes belonged to Courtney, but the ones that were meant for Avery’s belongings were still in the back of her car, not yet folded, next to a bag of sharpies and duct tape. She’d picked them up at Home Depot prior to coming home. “Whatever. I was going to call you, but if I’d known how big of an asshole you’d be, I probably wouldn’t have.”

An answer for his question didn’t exist. She’d gone to Atlanta on a whim, and there was no particular reason behind it. “I just needed a change of scenery for a little while. Is that a crime? We got a little shopping done, met amazing people, ate at this amazing authentic Mexican restaurant…,” got involved with bad guys, snorted cocaine for the first time… she failed to mention any of that. “It’s no big deal. Why are you making it one? I’m alive, aren’t I?” I got you something from a gift shop. It’s in my car somewhere. I’ll get it later.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, refusing to meet his hues. 

[avery-whittaker]

Avery had just disappeared off the face of the Earth. She didn’t return his text messages, tweets or calls; which made him wonder - had he done something wrong? He kept seeing pictures being posted on her Instagram and twitter account, of her partying it up in Atlanta with Courtney. He’d also seen photos of her with different guys and as much as he didn’t want to admit it; it sparked a jealous flare inside him.  

Having heard rumors that Avery was back in town, he decided to hit up Courtney and ask. He quickly found out the rumors were true and he headed over to the Whittaker’s mansion, where she apparently was currently unpacking her things, at least that’s what she did according to Courtney. Parking the jeep, he jumped out of the car and moved towards the front door, knocking on the wooden door before pulling on the bells which made a loud noise.  

"Look at that! A wild Whittaker appears finally." He said with a frown on his face. "I’m not- Are you serious? That’s the first thing that you want to say to me?" 

She rolled her eyes. She couldn’t help it. Since returning home, everything about anything annoyed her and Kingston, the love of her life, was no exception—not today, anyways. “Come on in,” she responded meekly as she stepped aside and treated him to enough room to make his way in. She shut the door behind him and followed him into the living room, where her belongings resided. She quickly shut her laptop, hoping he hadn’t seen anything about the Atlanta rentals she’d pulled up. “I was going to call you back, after I finished getting stuff done.” She lied. She was going to try to ignore him for as long as she possibly could because Kingston was the one person who could see through her, like glass, and there was just too much she wanted to keep to herself for once. “So? Can I help you?” It came off harsher than expected. She cleared her throat, becoming suddenly overwhelmed by the guilt of what had transpired in Atlanta—the things she’d done, the men she’d gotten involved with. “Don’t you have other girls to talk to? Kacey, Taylor, whoever the hell else you’ve been seeing?” She turned away, inhaling deeply through her nose, afraid she might start crying at any moment.

[avery-whittaker]

I know, but I thought that maybe we could be soul mates.

You're so out of my league, baby cousin. 

You'd deserve a prettier girl than me, anyway! 

[bettysjuggie-deactivated2026012]