AVPD culture

This Blog is for people with AvPD to share their experience.

[avpdculture]

What is the purpose of this blog?

This is a blog for people with AvPD (avoidant personality disorder) to share their experience (likely anonymously!)

It works just like any other "[x] culture is" blogs. Share an entry by clicking "AvPD culture is...?" and write down what you connect to AvPD culture. This can be something relevant to you and your AvPD at the moment, or an overall AvPD thing you want to share.

Feel free to share your experience anonymously.

Some rules:

First off, if you don't relate to everything here, you can still have AvPD. And opposite, if you do relate to things here it doesn't make you AvPD. These are experiences from actual people out there and not diagnostic criterion!

Entries should start with "AvPD culture is..." or a similar starter

Entries that connect to other PDs or disorders etc. are allowed

I cannot answer questions for you, I just provide this space

Anon Tags are allowed, they will be in the format of "#-[your tag]anon", please make it as easy as possible for me by adding your tag in a separate paragraph under your submission with no additions. I don't need you to ask for permission and I trust you to look your tag up if it's taken or not.

There is no DNI, please just be reasonable. This blog is not here to represent an opinion and if you have a problem with sharing your experience on a blog that might allow identities you don't agree with then it's on you to stay away. Thank you for understanding!

One thing that should be said however is that this blog does not allow for demonizing of disorders, no matter what disorder we are talking about (i.e. say [emotional] abuse instead of [x-disorder]-abuse)

I will not post anything NSFW here and I'll do my best to add TWs where it seems necessary.

I will expand this introduction when/if needed.

anon tags:

(i will try to keep these up to date as best I can. If yours isn't here, I guarantee it isn't personal)

"-🎭🔇anon"

"-🧶anon"

"-❄️anon"

"-🐱☕anon"

"-💗🎀 anon"

"-🦴🐾 anon"

"-♦️🍁anon"

"-🌀sys [📍tim] anon"

"-🔮anon"

"-🌐🖱 anon"

"-🪦 anon"

"-🎒🪭 anon"

"-🎨🔌 anon"

"- 🌸 🩷 anon"

"- ♠️🍨anon"

"-🧃🔪 anon"

"- 🥝💣anon"

"-🦇🦇🦇🦇3k anon"

profile image is the flag made by @/avpdvoidspace

[avpdculture]

AVPD culture is nuking every blog and social media you’ve ever had every few months after you start interacting with people in ways, people can percieve you at any moment, and it all becomes too much.

Doing the same with your personal history and friendships too, until you have nothing, you dont know what you are anymore, only that you hate yourself and the person you were in the past and the person you are in the present. Mmmm. Is that normal guys are we feeling it or is it just me.

~

[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is thinking about ending it every single day but feeling too embarrassed to actually follow through (What if I fail? What if they go through my stuff? What if they plaster my name and face everywhere? What if I inconvenience the paramedics?) so you dont do it.

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is (I think?) being unable to practice their religion for fear of doing it wrong (It is not a majority religion in my country).

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture (???) is not being able to speak firmly about my political beliefs.I always end up being vague and uncertain, even though I have opinions.

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[avpdculture]

(suspected) avpd culture is hearing people laughing and assuming they're talking about you

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is hanging out with your friends after years of avoiding everyone and realizing that you’ve really started to outgrow each other, but being in denial about it because they’re the people you’ve been with literally ever since

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is getting your period in public.

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is an endless loop of feeling like everyone's judging or just weirded out by your every word so you mostly stay quiet and not intervend in the conversation but then the group starts asking why you don't share your opinions and just walking behind quietly listening so you try to speak up but every word you say seems to be once again wrong and weird and filthy and everyone's staring and perceiving and you shut up but then after some time they ask why you're silent again and

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[avpdculture]

avpd and scopophobia culture is not watching certain movies or shows with your favorite actors because you’re afraid they perceive you. those attractive smiles and niceties aren’t for you. you want so badly to just enjoy your comfort media but doing that means they might know you exist and hate you.

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is: i wish i had the luxury of being able to push people away. i wish i was ever in a situation where people wanted to be my friends, and i'd go "i don't want friends, nobody actually cares about me anyway"... and they'd prove me wrong. they'd go out of their way to spend time with me and convince me they cared. because they thought i was worth the effort. that's honestly my deepest fantasy - but stuff like that seems to only happen in fiction.

because the reality is that i desperately cling to anyone who's nice to me (at least mentally - i'd crumble into dust if i actually tried to like. become friends with someone). but others never really care. to them, i'm just one among many, and they don't need me because they already have their friends. and they don't see me as interesting enough to actually want to get to know me. and i really can't blame them... but it still makes me sick.

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is everyone has flaws and it's beautiful. It's wonderful how life shapes us into different people with our own different experiences. Everyone is allowed to have flaws, nobody will ever be perfect and it's beautiful.

Not me tho

I'm not allowed to have flaws and if i do i am horrible and awful and evil and i need to be beaten to death with rocks, i deserve it for everything awful I've done

~

[avpdculture]

AVPD culture is needing to set up a doctor appointment and it’s been months and there’s still no progress because you have to do it online (when technology hates you), and also because you really aren’t looking forward to the appointment anyway and are honestly a little afraid of it (which helps boost motivation for sure /s)

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is not wanting to exist and so attention starved at the same time

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is feeling extreme disgust and discomfort about yourself which gets worse when you’re around others

- 🎱🐇

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is suddenly feeling like your husband of five years hates you because you yapped about your interests for more than five seconds and he hasn't gone "mhmm" or anything, despite the fact that you know he's a just quiet guy and shows his love by silently listening. You know everyone wants you to shut up when they're quiet like that because that's what your parents and classmates wanted when they did that. This hurts so much

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[avpdculture]

AVPD culture is not knowing how to interact with people unless you're giving them something because the ordeal of being known just for yourself is overwhelming

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