And I have a lot more to say about that hatred, but I don't want my blog to start looking like it's run by someone having a full-blown delusional episode, so I'll just touch on it briefly. Mordred doesn't need normal love. All he needs is someone who knows exactly what he's done and still chooses to stand by him, even if it's out of hatred. Kay fulfills that need perfectly, but when you look beneath that hatred, there's actually nothing there.
You might think I'm completely making this up, but Kay doesn't hate Mordred solely because Mordred killed him. In fact, that's probably only a very small part of it. The bigger reason is that Mordred killed Arthur and destroyed everything Kay had built with his beloved brother. That's why Kay hated Mordred so much at first. But once he realized that Avalon needed Mordred, he started to question everything.
The first half of Kay's life revolved entirely around Arthur. Once that center was gone, he finally had to start thinking about what else he wanted—and eventually, he had no choice but to accept Mordred. If Kay truly hated Mordred, he never would have added “to you and me both” when asking about their plans for the future. Nobody ties their future to the person they supposedly hate. That's just ridiculously gay.
That's also why I think their relationship in KAKT is so strikingly similar to what we see in The Idylls of the Queen. Maybe this is simply where they would always end up, no matter the story, as long as Kay is still the older brother willing to sacrifice everything for his little brother, and Mordred is still the bastard who was never meant to exist.💧
