Gillybear Talks @awesomechubbyboi - Tumblr Blog

Alien

His body flabby, not toned, spills over his side of his bed, expensive, linens burning bright, almost too high frequency to look at…

It should’ve been earlier, he didn’t give me his address so it had to be later…

I didn’t want to do it, it felt wrong, in every single subatomic particle that made up my amorphous form, I wasn’t a person at the time, I was less than that…

I kissed his neck, cologne wafts into my nostrils, I decide I shouldn’t do that, because if anymore of it is consumed I’d be sick to my stomach, I massage his skin supple, smooth, a little hair just barely enough to get me going, I don’t even know his name…

He was probably my past lover from a former life, he kisses my body every where making his way down to the inevitable, I hate myself for a moment, I don’t even know your name…

And I never will…

After he’s finished pleasing me with his mouth he asks me “Do you want to?” I give him my eyes burning with nothing, holes too deep to see the bottom…

I slip on the condom, usually I have trouble with this part, but it slipped on easily, shaping itself to my member, he’s spread eagle on the bed preparing himself…

I cry a little bit, just one… One little tear, my heart aching and wrenching, my stomach in knots,

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing, just shut up…"

"Okay Geeze.." He plays with himself a bit more…

I climb on to the bed like a jaguar back arched and fluid

"Come over here babe…"

My back arches and twists

"Don’t call me that.."

"I’m just trying to get in the mood guapo.."

"Don’t…" I slide into him, he squirms “Gaahh! Fuck!”

I keep going even tho he’s still on the bed writhing in pain “Stop moving…” I command… I thrust, and thrust, and thrust… I’m a shell… If a gust entered the room I’d whistle in my emptiness..

I accelerate the thrusting,” oooohhh fuck, yeah babe harder!” I pull out, “Stop fucking calling me that!”

"Why?"

"Because I’m not your babe, and you’re not mine"

You’re not mine

Solito con su corazon, en mi panza

Quiero decirte que... I opened it... I opened the bag, at the very end of it all when I was going to give up, and I opened it... Blank, Broken, Bloody, From the inside... I miss you tons and you know this... All the time...

The King made of dead men

It was all a mess, I fought I bled I fucked Give me your thunderous finger, like a dagger Baby don't you know? I'm not a man but a monster, I can't be your knight in shining armor, but I can be your Frankenstein baby! Just a cool collection of all the men that made up my comatose heart, an electrical surge on the telephone lines when you hear my raspy voice, that's all, A nice package, a bow on a box... Fullanuthin...

#loveproblems #gayboyballad #littlestabbingfingers #holding you close #shrug me off #im a disease #im a monster

deactivated-blog

Visit Original Link

Make me a centaur in this endless, empty void!

Art by the awesome Iguana Mouth

Scared Curly Haired Dude - Me

Chill Dragon Girl - Jay

yarnwithpictures-deactivated202

Omg

satanicfemmeandroid

yeahiwasintheshit

straight sex is so complicated

casualwrongdoer

Single

I ain't stressin you anymore, Fuck it...

Silence

The words come to me at night, they play and toy around and they feel good for a moment or so…but then they leave and I’m alone again…

You’re not worth it…

You were never worth it…

They speak to me, lies Lies made in the dark sharpening their periods and commas, the edges of these letters are razor sharp, like talons of a monster that nibbles at your mind and strikes during the day…

It smells of rotting flesh this dream I once had, maybe that was a lie too… maybe the words knew this, maybe they want to make me weak enough to steal my body like I had anticipated

No salt, no circle, no alchemic defense against them, no holy water, no magic sword, no deus ex-machina to defeat them, just me, and I won’t allow the words to win, the words to steal my body…

I can trace their faces with my blood… I can hear their voice in this recording… There is a reason why these words never mention me, why they never say things about me, why they never talk to me… I fear it’s because they are lies, born of my psyche, they will stay there…but I will not engage… It’s not fair…

In between

Say your words Tell me them to my face, you were like me at some point I'm sorry, I don't know anymore, You scare me, if we reach the horizon, there will be a fork in our paths, and I'm sure you won't be coming along with me I just wished that it was easier... fuck, Why does this ALWAYS HAPPEN? Doesn't anyone hear me? Does anyone even give a fuck anymore? Is the only thing I have to look forward to that release? That five seconds of fleeting bliss and joy?! Strike me down, just fucking do it, Do it now, but I will not settle for a life filled with nameless faces, fuck that, I've done it, and it's all bullshit, as if that's even a fucking challenge, as if someone like me, would have a hard time achieving nothing! Fuck That, strike me down, but I know what I'm looking for is real, I'll never give up, NEVER!

NDMF sidewalk

The sweat, heat, sticky floors, I've been here before, I've seen these people, make a smile squeeze it out even though you're not the same Take a chance, let it fill you, the light, I'm afraid, I don't know how to feel, crowded streets, loud people, would you be the one I pick out from the crowd? Its a chance, I'm still scared but I have to take a chance even if its just for the night, at least it'll be a good fuck, something I never wanted, but if that's all it is, make it explicit, make it obvious make me understand you want nothing more, I do truly love you Make me yours, not just for the night for something more, for a hope, a dream, a whisper, I'm drunk on the sidewalk with a thought in my head, don't be like everyone else, stop these sleepless nights and cut me deep with your words do it now before I can't deal with it, because the next sentence I say with certainty, I love you, I love you completely...

divertirme-deactivated20160620

edating

kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea

evancerna

Amarte para llorar, estar solo en tu compañía, y para sufrir al verte feliz. El amor es algo que no comprendo, y quizá nunca lo hare, siempre la soledad es la que me acompaña, las frías lagrimas en mis mejillas, los pensamientos, los besos que nunca te di, y el abrazo que espero. Por que no...

awesomechubbyboi

I feel like this sometimes...

El Hombre De La Tierra

I don’t need to say it, but I will… A hopeless heart in a static dream, I don’t remember falling asleep…

This earth, the gravel, you see it sift through your fingers, it tells stories from our past, blood, spit, bullet shells, bone, muscle, there was something I found in this hard caliche, the rain made it softer and I uncovered it, the earth meets the wind and rises the smell of the muddy wound into my nostrils…

Like a child playing in the mud I scrape the once hard earth from your face, your eyes blank, I wipe away the excess clay from your face, I hear you breath for the first time, Que hermoso El Hombre De La Tierra…

The sun hits your skin and dries the earth on your face turning white against your tanned complexion, your hair black and curled in the sun, shines bright like ancient constellations that have long since died… My beautiful homunculus, what terrible bruja has made you this way? Or worse, what man has left you a failed alchemy? Your head sprouting up from the ground gazing at the sky as if transfixed on the rain clouds as the sun punches holes in their massless forms like devine arrows piercing our unclean bodies.

You had to give something, to get something, that’s the rule, you couldn’t coax life, without giving something of equal value.

I had no knowledge of the ancients, no one did, just the stories de mi familia, and a piece of an empanada that I had in my pocket…

But what would give you life?

The first night I told you the story of my grandfather and how he encountered the man that couldn’t exist, the man that couldn’t live, El Muerto, El Hombre Sin Cabeza, the ghost gave him riches, but at what cost?

What I didn’t tell you was that my grandmother would lose her sight shortly after, was this the price to see El Muerto? To lay eyes on him would mean that the woman he loved so intensely would never see his face again?

Equivalent exchange, the same magic that made the man in the ground was the same as the one that stole her vision…

I’m sure my grandfather would’ve given the gold pieces back to the angry soul if he knew that it was cursed, I didn’t tell you that later in my grandmothers life she developed the disease that stole her memories until her death…

The moon greeted the black sky and I fell asleep raking my fingers through your unruly locks…

The afternoon came quickly, and I broke a piece of the empanada and fed it to the man in the ground, the head ate it and made sounds of pleasure as the crumbly bread made its way down his throat, Manzana, the filling sweet and warmed from the sun stuck to your pansa with the big cuts of apple to tickle your tongue, the rain came again, the earth dripped down your face in a white slush as if you were weeping sediment…

The night came, but you were still empty, I lost hope, I cried, your body surfaced through the mud and my feet had white crusted up to my knees, I lay next to you for the first time, I stared at your face, watched your belly fill with air and descend from the horizon, I leaned over and placed my hand on your chest, I pressed my lips against yours the air from your lungs greets my lips first, the taste of the sweet bread fills my mouth, your lips feel like clouds and your skin undamaged from the surface held the secrets of your heart…

"I am here, and I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m right in front of you…"

#poem #Dreams #You inspired this #My homonculus #Art #Mi amor #Tqm