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Thank you to everyone who reached out. sorry if i missed responding to you
Friends, homos & cunty-men
Your boy has been gettin the shit kicked outta him. itâs been a firehose of shit right to the face here. One fuckin thing after another. Lost a parent VERY unexpectedly. Lost my pet VERY soon after. Unending days of weather hell and unreliable help with it. Water pouring out of ceilings. Spending so much fuckin money itâs crazy. Funeral planning is a fucking nightmare! Pothole tire disasters! Stress, stress and more stress. And just this week (EDIT: I WROTE THIS A MONTH AGO BUT NEVER PUBLISHED IT) we got devastating news that my remaining parentâs condition has worsened. Could be weeks if treatment doesnât start soon or isnât effective. Shits a goddamn fucking nightmare. HOLYFUCKINGHELL 2026!
Itâs felt a lot like the Gene Hackman speech in Poseidon Adventure where he says:
âWhat more do you want of us? We've come all this way, no thanks to you. We did it on our own, no help from you. We didnât ask you to fight for us but damn it, don't fight against us! Leave us alone! How many more sacrifices? How much more blood? How many more lives?â
Now... I know that scene ends with the good reverend sacrificing himself, and I know this is the suicide website, and I know I AM posting this quote but i am NOT suicidal about any of whatâs going on in my life. As shitty and hard and stressful and depressing and exhausting and unending this feels, I donât feel THAT way. Just donât want anyone taking the wrong thing away from that quote. The quote mostly affirms my secularity tbh, and so has the last few months.
Iâve jumped onto tumblr off and on durin this time and have either scrolled for like a minute and just had to leave, or mindlessly scrolled for like an hour and absolutely nothing I saw registered. But mostly I have seen your asks and messages but just havenât been able to respond, so if for some reason lve worried you or made you concerned, I am sorry I havenât responded yet. A lot of people have sent very nice messages or asks, and I may eventually respond to everyone (EDIT I WROTE THIS AWHILE AGO AND I THINK I RESPONDED TO MOSTLY ALL PEOPLE ALREADY, IF I DIDNT IM SORRY) but⌠I just havenât felt like I wanted to share anything yet or the time wasnât right to share whatâs happening. I donât know. But I am sorry about that. As agnostic/atheistic as I think I am there is that weird stupid voice saying the more you talk about the shit youâre currently drowning in, the longer it will last. AKA my brain has been scrambled eggs for awhile now. So I just havenât felt like sharing anything yet. Sorry again friends.
Oh and the world is kinda on fire right now too, so yea all thatâs adding some extra extra spice to the fun! Lol anyway Iâm sure Iâll be back to yelling about the world or posting stupid again, maybe soon maybe later. Who knows. (EDIT I HAVE A LOT OF POSTS IVE SAVED THAT I MAY JUST PUKE UP ALL OVER THE DASH)
The shitstorm your friendly neighborhood sonvabitch is living thru looks like its far from over, so I have no idea when Ill be back, maybe later tonight maybe in a month maybe never... who knows, shit is STILL suckin hard... but i do appreciate yall sending some love to my ask. it actually does matter.
thank you














