Been into Appleshy lately.... heavily inspired by the g3 art style. I really like their horsey muzzles 🐴
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@awkward-drama-llama
Been into Appleshy lately.... heavily inspired by the g3 art style. I really like their horsey muzzles 🐴
Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again
Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net
Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go
Within months of starting NRU, Percy’s facial hair had grown a mind of its own. Where he once only had to shave once a week, he now had to shave everyday. It quickly became both tedious and unmanageable. Percy was an ADHD college student demigod who needed to keep up with training on a regular basis. He did not have time to shave everyday. He was lucky enough to eat, shower, and brush his teeth. Therefore, he resigned himself to his body’s decision to become an exact replica of his father.
The responses from others were… interesting.
Annabeth simply gave him a blink and a raised eyebrow, correctly realizing Percy’s new beard was more from laziness than a style choice.
Most of the Romans seemed to have gained some new respect for Percy. Their view of the delinquent kid had shifted overnight. Percy could barely walk out of his apartment without getting salutes or a respectful “Praetor.”
Camp Half-Blood swung the other way. None of the older campers paid it much mind, though the younger campers seemed fascinated at the sight of such a mature demigod.
The immortals around camp were slightly unnerved.
Chiron instinctively referred him as “Lord Poseidon” as soon as he stepped into the room. (That was an awkward situation to resolve.)
Dionysus kept doing double takes.
Hermes walked into a wall the first time he’d seen Percy.
Apollo was another matter entirely.
Apollo whistled. “Well, hello, Daddy.”
Percy gave him a confused scowl. “I’m not a dad.”
Apollo simply gave him a lecherous grin before asking, “Would you like to be?”
☆tiger☆
Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:
- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."
- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."
- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."
- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"
- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."
- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"
- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."
- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"
- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"
- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."
- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."
- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"
- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."
- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."
- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."
- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."
- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."
I think this ship (spaceship) is really funny
really among the most compelling elements of shallergies for me is the "you can't have what other people get without consequences, and the easiest path to processing that is just telling yourself you don't want it, and control is not only important: it's ESSENTIAL for you to be okay" of it all when it comes to shane
there is obviously angst in it, too, but shane putting mangoes and gay sex in the same mental category of "bad for me, but i want it" is SO goddamn funny to me
prev tags:
my brain, immediately:
please mr tierney he is asking so nicely
Pixel post dividers for everyone! It's not much, but feel free to use them if you'd like. I don't know the ideal size for these, so let me know if they're too tall. I can make them a bit shorter next time.
yes hockey IS that serious
Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:
- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."
- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."
- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."
- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"
- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."
- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"
- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."
- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"
- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"
- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."
- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."
- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"
- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."
- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."
- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."
- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."
- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."
instances of shane, the worlds most jock, calling ilya baby:
“Baby, what time is it?”
“Huh? Hold on, baby, I can’t hear you. Fuck, it’s loud in here.”
“Fuck, Ilya, yes, like that, baby, just like that, fuck—“
“Ilya, what’s— Are you crying? What’s wrong, baby, it’s okay, it’s— What’s wrong? Please, tell me, what’s wrong?”
“Fuckin’ A, Rozanov! Yes, baby! Fuck, that was a good one. C’mere.”
“Mm, baby, your feet are cold. Ah! Ilya, get your cold fucking feet off me. Put some socks on. Jesus.”
“Hold on, I’ll ask him— Baby, my mom wants to know if steak is good for dinner?”
“Your hair is so fluffy today. No, no, come back, let me— Yes. Thank you, baby.”
“Ilyusha. My baby. Ilyusha. You’re so pretty. Don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”
“You’re gonna have to skate better than that to beat me in the scoring race, baby, I’m locked in this season.”
“Fuck, baby, you’re burning up. No, asshole, I mean you’re sick. You can’t go to practice like this, don’t be fucking stupid.”
“Uh, just a beer, please. Thank you, baby, that’s perfect.”
“Ilya, baby, you want a pretzel?”
“Hi, baby. You looked good out there, that goal was fuckin’ insane.”
there's no fucking way
EXTREMELY funny universe possibility in which ilya in tuna melt was just a liiiittle further along in being ready to consciously think of shane as more than a hook-up (not ready to admit to it being love yet, but he can admit to himself "yes, it's different and more fun and better with you, more than anyone else, and i would like to have more of that"), and then tuna melt doesn't happen because ilya is just a little too overwhelmed to say anything, which means that it ends with shane staying all night and ilya getting to experience sleeping next to him and waking up the next morning next to him. and it's. yeah. he wants this always. he will NOT say that.
but.
he does throw out what HE thinks is a statement about them maybe being more than hookups and would shane want to do that. but he couches it in SO much protective language so he can "haha got you" if shane reacts badly that shane doesn't. actually. catch what he meant.
so what ilya was saying was, "hey, what if we tried out being just a little bit more than casual? i like being with you, and last night was really fun. maybe we see if we can have that more often?" with an overture of like. maybe friends with benefits. because he's not ready to admit to himself or shane that he wants to be dating-dating, but he and svetlana are best friends who fuck. he and shane could also be friends who fuck. and it's definitely FRIENDSHIP he feels for shane. just friendship. and if it's friendship that's maybe dating a little bit, well...do you wanna?
but what SHANE got out of this is, "it was fun to stay over, and the morning sex was really great. do you want to start staying over with each other when we can so we can do it again?" and the First Name Fiasco didn't happen, and shane's had a little time to settle into this new level in a way that's made it pretty comfortable, and he LOVES clear plans. how nice. :) we can make this agreement now and not have to discuss it each time in the future. :) now he'll know exactly what to expect each time. :) his very casual fuckbuddy will just stay over, and he'll stay over at his place, and now they've made this plan very clear. :)
(jesus christ, shane)
and emboldened by shane being so amiable in his agreement, ilya hits him with a, "see you in the rink, shane," as he's leaving, and shane *surprise blink* as he processes, but before he can freak out, ilya finds his expression so cute that he HAS to tease him, so hits him with a, "sorry you're about to lose, but at least you had a good night before, yes?" and oh you MOTHERFUCKER >:). okay. first name is just part of the teasing. alright. "in your fucking dreams, ilya." and what shane means is "you wanna play mind games, i'll play mind games, pal" but what ilya got was "yeah, i'm moving with you here and first names are good now."
so moving forward, ilya bit by bit settles into them dating (and yes, with time, it is accurate to call it that). and HE thinks shane is operating under the same, "let's see if we can be something more together" exploration, so he assumes that shane going along with it. and from shane's pov, ilya is suddenly texting a lot and using his first name, and it's really nice, but kind of confusing, but also he had that upsetting call about his dad?? so maybe stuff is just hard at home and he just needs a friend?? and he doesn't know if they're friends, per se, but maybe shane is just a safe place to have other secrets live, too?? what's "hey, i'm having a hard time with my family and just need someone to send dumb memes back and forth with" between two ultra-secret fuckbuddies, after all?
and rose does enter the picture at some point, but things with ilya are good, and he does like rose and part of him wonders if he should try out dating her, but even if he and ilya aren't A Thing...it's really nice with him right now. and shane knows that dating someone else would mean giving it up because he wouldn't feel right fucking around and cheating. so he and rose do end up becoming friends (and because they text regularly, shane even sends ilya a text that night of, "I think I'm friends with a celebrity now?? do I get cool points for that??" and gets a "no, you get cool points for nothing ever. you are too uncool. you are uncool black hole where cool points go to die." "okay, fuck you. i was going to ask if you wanted anyone's autograph, but just for that, fuck you, asshole. 🖕" "what if i want yours?" "why do you want mine?" "you are my favorite celebrity. ❤️" "i thought i was boring." "yes, you are famous for how boring you are. is really quite impressive." *devolution into sexting and then video calling for sex*), but that's it.
until rose increasingly sees shane smiling at his phone when they're hanging out and manages to teasingly coax it out of him by dropping hints and comments and finally just going, "you don't have to tell me, but if it's because she's actually a he, that's okay, shane." so shane has his realization of yes he's gay, and also yes, he's in love with ilya. and obviously he and ilya have never really had a conversation about it (jesus christ, shane), but maybe?? he would be interested?? they get along really well and shane likes being with him, and they know by now that they're really good sharing space and being together. and you know what? fuck it. he's going to be brave and do it. he's going to ask ilya if he wants to try dating each other.
...to which ilya, after being asked this, just, "...??!! what did YOU think we've been doing this whole fucking time????"
Oh my god OP your tags are too cute
my GOD when they meet shane's parents together as a couple in this verse it's on purpose and not a surprise, and they get the "how long have you two been together?" question and ilya just *heavy sigh and cheers'ing his glass of vodka before taking a sip* "we will need calculator and scratch paper for-" *sounds of ilya getting beat over the head with a couch pillow because this is NOT the time to run this bit again*
fucking CACKLING imagining the emotional whiplash of shane's "i want us to try dating" conversation for ilya
he walks in, knows immediately that shane is nervous about something, and then shane hits him with a, "i wanna have a talk about something i've been thinking about," and ilya internally is just feeling a little sick because is this a breakup?? why??? what did he do??? things have felt SO good between them???? but externally he's just "okay"
and then shane proceeds in this talk about how things have felt different (ilya: ??? did he miss something??? things have felt so good??) and he thinks ilya has felt that way, too, ("shane, i haven't-") no, no, let him finish, please. he knows this started out as just casual, but it doesn't feel casual anymore. (...???? uh...yeah???) and would ilya maybe want to be something more? if they could? (..i-is this?? about to be a proposal???? "well, yes...") really?? would you maybe even want to-want to be...exclusive? ("you think i haven't been exclusive with you?") well, you have a reputation, and it's not that shane judges you for that but- ("i'm your boyfriend, and you think i would cheat on you??") ...
...
...you're mY WHAT-
what a beautiful sentiment :) i am sure he will manage to express all of this very clearly :) and in a way that definitely won't lead to a multiple-month confusion :)
I still think it’s so funny that shane was assigned gay by rose landry and his reaction was WHEW! thank god someone else decided that for me. anyway I’m off to get my man I can sense that he’s making bad decisions in a club somewhere
rose: do you want me to set you up with my friend?
shane distractedly: what? no I’m obviously already embroiled in a years-long situationship with a disaster bisexual who is physically incapable of expressing a feeling out loud. and I’m positive he’s off being a nightmare somewhere so now that I’m gay for sure I need to track him down and greet him with such awkward but well-meaning compassion he ends up sobbing in my arms