warnings: without spoiling anything i want to give a trigger warning because this is quite a heavy chapter, and i'm kinda worried that it may seem rushed, especially since i've had this part planned since before i wrote the majority of the story. but this part and the last were orignially one long chapter (this alone is almost 12k words), so i tried my hardest to squueze so much into one chapter without even thinking about splitting them up, so now i feel like what should've been such a massive part of the story may be quite underwhelming :( idk i'm actually my biggest hater lol. also tw: mentions of m*ya lmao
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Tuesday morning came far too quickly for your liking, you almost didn’t want to go into work that day because you were dreading the reality of it.
It was time to let Noah go.
You interviewed Daniel, your new mechanic, on Sunday- though it was hardly an interview, it was just a few simple questions. “Do you have experience working with cars?” “How soon can you start?” He seemed nice enough, he almost reminded you of your uncle when he was a few years younger, and it was quite a pleasant afternoon showing him around the place and getting to know him. He told you he had four kids and two ex wives, he’s worked with cars since he left school at 16, and he got fired from the last shop he worked at because he was sleeping with his boss’s wife... you didn't want to hear the rest.
But then when you got home reality hit you again, because Noah had brought your stuff back while you were out, and you also saw that he left your house key on the side. No note, no waiting around, no more apologies. It was over. There was no going back now. This was it... or almost. You just had to get this morning out of the way.
Despite the feeling of dread sitting heavy on your chest, you got out of bed and got dressed, and headed into work like everything was normal. You unlocked, sat down at your desk, and buried yourself in a mountain of paperwork to keep yourself as busy as possible.
Daniel came in before Noah, which you weren't sure whether you were relieved about or not, but he greeted you as he stepped through the door and shrugged his jacket off. You told him there was a car booked in at 10, but there was already one in the workshop that just needed a tire changing, something Noah didn’t get around to doing before the weekend. Daniel- who was now insisting you call him Dan- told you that was no problem, and he wandered off to get it done.
Your heart started to race in anticipation as you waited for the door to swing open again, you swallowed hard, trying to force the feeling down… but before you could even take a deep breath to steady yourself, you heard heavy footsteps in the other room. Ones you’ve learned to recognise after months of working together.
Oh god...
You could hear his voice, he must’ve been talking to Dan, though you couldn’t work out what they were saying. You felt sick, you suddenly wished you would’ve just told him over text, you could’ve unblocked him, sent him a message and then blocked him again before you could get a reply. It could've been simple!!
But it was too late now.
“Who the hell is that?” Noah’s voice startled you as he stepped into the office, carefully shutting the door behind him. You swallowed hard, unable to even look up from your screen.
“That’s Dan." You said as if it was obvious, despite how nervous you were right now. "My new mechanic.”
“Oh…” He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I see.”
You kept your eyes on the screen, chewing the inside of your cheek as you thought about how you could-
“So I'm this is it then?” He said, interrupting your thoughts as he let out a humourless laugh, “You want me out?”
You swallowed hard. Don't fold, don't fold...
“You knew this was coming.” You said quietly, you hope he didn't notice how you had to force the words out.
“Yeah,” he snapped, “I knew you were gonna replace me eventually, not just-” he gestured towards the workshop, “Not like this! Without even letting me know!”
You finally looked up at him.
““I told you when I found someone new, you’d be out-”
“Yeah well I didn’t expect it to be so soon!” He shot back, “And a warning would've been nice... Jesus, y/n!”
You felt your stomach sink at the way he said your name.
“You really think I’d wanna keep you here after what-”
“Oh here we go!” He scoffed again, “So this is it? One argument and suddenly I’m out of a job?”
“It wasn’t just an argument.” You snapped.
“You’re blowing this way out of proportion- look, I said I’m sorry! Can’t we just-”
“You seriously think an apology is gonna magically fix everything?” You raised an eyebrow.
“It’s a start!” He waved his arms as he spoke, “What else do you want me to do? Build a time machine and go back and unfuck-”
“That’s-”
“I’ve got rent to pay!” He stopped you, his voice rising now, “I’ve got bills, I’ve got the fucking band!! Do you have any idea how much I rely on this job?!”
Your stomach turned... suddenly you realised just what this actually meant. Just how this would effect him.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly, and all he did was stare at you.
“Don’t fucking start with that. You’re not sorry. And y’know what?” He shook his head, “Yeah, maybe this is what I deserve. When the fuck has anything ever gone right for me?”
You felt your heart sink a little at that, that bastard always knew just how to make you feel bad.
“Noah-”
“No.” He shook his head, “No, this is it. You said we’re done, we’re over… I guess this is it.”
He didn’t sound angry anymore. He sounded like he’d accepted it, that this was just his fate… and if anything, that made it worse.
Your chest ached, and something in you instinctively wanted to reach for him, to take it back, to say wait… but you didn’t move. You couldn’t. Because you were the one who started this. You were the one "not taking any shit."
You were the one ending it.
Noah let out a slow breath, dragging a hand over his face before stepping back toward the door.. and for a moment he looked like he was about to say something, like he might fight a little harder. But instead, he nodded to himself, muttering an alright before wrapping his fingers around the handle.
“Guess I’ll get my shit and go then.”
The door opened and then shut behind him just as quick… and just like that, he was gone. You didn’t chase him, you didn’t move at all. You just sat there at your desk, staring at the same spot he’d been standing in.
Out in the workshop, you could hear movement, drawers opening and slamming shut, tools being gathered, the sound of Dan’s voice, a little confused, probably trying to figure out what was going on, but you didn’t hear Noah respond.
You turned back to your desk, and your hand trembled as you reached for your pen again and tried to focus on the paperwork in front of you. That’s what you needed to do, just focus.
But nothing made sense, the numbers and words were blurring together on the page, and all you could think about was Noah.
When the fuck has anything ever gone right for me?
You felt awful, you really did, because a part of you was still full of doubt. Nothing Maya said really added up, and how the fuck would she even know? What if you had overreacted, what if it was a big misunderstanding, did he really deserve to lose his job? But he said yes, like he already knew what you were talking about without even having to clarify… so it must be true, right?
Fuck, who knows.
But you weren’t going to let him back in, let him tell you a bunch of lies to win you back over. Because you knew exactly who he was from the beginning- a fuckboy, an asshole, a guy who knew exactly how to get what he wants- how did you seriously think he’d ever change for you?
…
The rest of the morning dragged by, a part of you wondered if it would ever end.
Dan tried. Bless him, you could tell he was trying. He asked questions, checked in, even made you a cup of tea at one point like he’d already decided to take on more than just the job. But you didn’t want to get anyone else involved in your drama, it wasn’t fair.
So you told him not to worry. You told him everything was fine, that you and your boyfriend were just having an argument… and it seemed to work for a while. You got to sit in peace for a couple hours, distracting yourself with some online shopping, but then the phone rang.
You didn’t think much of it at first, it was probably a customer. So you picked it up-
“What the hell d'ya think you're playing at, kid?” You flinched the moment the voice boomed through the phone. That was not the tone- or the person- you had expected.
“…What?” You asked carefully.
“I just had Noah on the phone,” Steve said, his voice sharp and confused, even a little breathless. “He told me you’ve fired him??”
Of course he told Steve. Of course he did.
You closed your eyes for a moment.
“Yeah…” you said quietly. “I did.”
“What? Why? Have you lost your damn mind?”
You shook your head, quickly reaching over to shut the door to your office.
“I can explain-”
“Then you better start!” He cut in. “Because last time I checked, that boy was keeping that place running!”
“I know,” you said quickly. “I know, but-”
“But what?” Steve pressed.
You hesitated for a second, wondering how the hell you were supposed to explain this to Steve of all people.
“It’s just… it's personal.” You said finally, your voice a little quieter.
Steve went silent for a moment, like it clicked.
“Oh…” He said, he didn’t sound angry or upset, but like he understood. “You two had a falling out, huh?”
You swallowed.
“…Something like that.”
He let out a slow breath.
“Jesus, kid,” he groaned. “And your solution was to fire him?”
“I couldn’t have him here anymore,” you said,. “I can’t even look at him, not after…”
“After what?” He asked carefully.
You shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It clearly does,” Steve replied. “You don’t just throw something like that away for nothing. What did he do, then?”
Your throat burned, and you didn’t answer him. You couldn’t. And clearly Steve got the message, as he let out a slow exhale before speaking again.
“Look,” he said, his voice softer now, “I’m not gonna pry, I know it’s none of my business.”
You let out a small breathy chuckle.
“Thanks.”
“But,” he added, “I will say this…”
You braced yourself.
“That boy’s crazy about you.”
Your heart fluttered.
“Steve-”
“I’m serious,” he continued. “The way he looks at you? The way he teases you? The-”
You squeezed your eyes shut.
“Please don’t-”
“Look, I’m just sayin’ I know the difference between someone messing around and someone who’s in deep.” Steve said, “And I don’t know the whole situation or what he’s done… but we had a chat when you came to visit me in here, and holy shit… he’s in deep. It’s more than obvious.”
You swallowed hard.
“…Well, it doesn’t matter now.” You said quietly. “Because he’s gone.”
Steve didn’t respond straight away, but you heard him groan.
“Well,” he said finally, “I hope you know what you’re doing. Otherwise when I’m home I’m gonna lock you both in the garage again until you sort your shit out.”
A surprise laugh escaped you.
“Steve!”
“Hey, it worked the first time didn’t it?” Then his voice softened again. “Just… don’t be too quick to throw things away, yeah? Talk to him. I know you... I know you probably haven’t even heard him out yet, and I know you won’t, you can be stubborn as hell sometimes, kid… but promise me you’ll at least try.”
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Okay.”
“Alright,” he said. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Okay. Thanks, Steve- and I hope everything goes well… Linda told me about the surgery.”
“Yeah, thought she would… I’ll be fine, sweetheart. You know me, it’ll take more than a few doctors to take me out.” He laughed weakly, then broke into a coughing fit.
“Steve? Are you-”
“I’m fine, darling.” He promised, “I’ve gotta go, Linda said the grandkids are coming to visit soon… I’ll speak to you soon, okay? I love you.”
“Love you too.”
The call ended after that, and you sat there with the phone still in your hand, staring into nothing while his words echoed in your head.
That boy’s crazy about you.
Maybe you were right to doubt it… maybe it wasn’t all what it seemed…
…
The days leading up to Steve’s surgery were passing all too quickly, and you did all you could to stop it. You were barely sleeping, staying so late at the garage that sometimes you fell asleep at your desk and woke up to Dan calling out morning boss! You tried to stay as distracted as possible, spending all your time out of work with Jess and Sam, who tried their best to keep you grounded, to keep you smiling, to stop you from slipping too far into your own head.
But there was only so much they could do, because at the end of every night you still went home alone to a cold and empty bed, wishing for your old life back. Wishing to go back to how things were just before Christmas, when you and Noah were happy, when Steve was still healthy. When you had everything, and took it all for granted.
And because of the way you were feeling, you thought it was still best to keep your distance from Noah for now, not to talk to him just yet, just to avoid becoming dependent. So for now, you hung on to the hope, and did what Jess suggested. You were taking one thing on at a time, and right now, that was making sure Steve was okay. There was still a chance for you and Noah to fix things down the line, but for Steve… this was literally a matter of life or death.
…
The night before the surgery felt strange, like something awful was looming, even though nothing had even happened yet. You stood in your bedroom after taking a shower and getting changed, your hair still damp as you ran your fingers through it, the sound of the bathroom fan vibrating through the wall.
Your eyes drifted around the room slowly… everything was where it should be, nothing had changed, but it still just didn’t feel right being here without Noah. It had been a week now, and still you hadn’t adjusted. Your mind hadn’t caught up. You still found yourself listening for things that weren’t there anymore- the sound of his keys hitting the counter, his footsteps following you up the stairs, the sound of his voice calling your name from another room.
You swallowed hard as you sat down slowly on the edge of the bed. The mattress sank the way it always had, but there was no second shift of weight beside you. No extra warmth, no other presence. It was just you.
You reached for your phone, unlocking it and hesitating for a moment. You told yourself you wouldn't do this, you knew it wasn’t a good idea… but you opened your contacts.
And fuck, just seeing his name there made your heart ache.
Noah❤️
You stared at it for a long moment, your thumb hovering over it… then you pressed it.
Unblock contact
You swallowed hard as you pressed the unblock button, your heart beating a little faster, like you’d just done something you weren’t supposed to.
You sat there for a second, staring at the screen… but then you tapped the message button, and the conversation opened.
Before you could even think twice, you started typing.
I know you probably don’t want to hear from me…
You paused. Deleted it. Then tried again.
Hi. I just wanted to say I miss you. I’m sorry about how everything ended, I think we should…
Deleted.
Your chest tightened, frustration creeping in as you buried your head in your hands. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t you just say what you needed to say?
You tried again, your fingers typing faster this time as it all came to you, like maybe if you didn’t think too much about it, it might actually come out right.
Steve’s surgery is tomorrow and I’m scared and I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I just…
You stopped and stared at the words, your vision blurring slightly, your throat feeling like it was closing up.
Then you deleted it all again.
A small, quiet sob escaped you before you could stop it, your hand coming up to cover your mouth as the tears all came out at once. You bent forward slightly, your shoulders shaking as everything you’d been holding in for days finally started to spill over.
If only he was here. He’d know just how to comfort you, he’d know exactly what to say. God, you missed him more than you ever thought was possible. You didn’t care about what happened anymore, whether it was true or not… you just knew you hated being here alone, letting yourself get too deep in your head again when all you wanted, all you needed, was him.
You just wanted it to be simple again. You wanted the stupid arguments. The teasing. The stupid names he loved to call you. The way he’d lean in the doorway just to watch you work with that stupid smug grin on his face. The way he made everything feel better without even trying.
God you just wanted him back. Before everything got complicated, before words were said that couldn’t be taken back, before this.
You were just so scared that even if you fixed it, if you called him right now and he answered, that nothing would be the same. Why would he even want to take you back after you fired him? What if he already moved on? What if he realised you weren’t worth it? What if that’s why he stopped fighting?
You stayed like this for hours, unwelcome thoughts racing through your mind. But eventually, the crying slowed, you were both physically and mentally exhausted, your head pounding as you leaned back against the bed, your head resting on the pillows as you stared up at the ceiling with teary eyes.
Your phone was still in your hand, still unlocked, still on your conversation with Noah. You glanced at the screen for a moment before slowly locking it, and letting it fall beside you on the bed.
Why would he even want to hear from you after everything?
…
You should’ve gone home hours ago, but you were still at work. The lights were off everywhere except for your office, the usual noise was gone, no tools, no engines, no voices, Dan had left hours ago, leaving you alone in the silence.
You sat in your office chair, your phone in your hand, desperately waiting for a call or a text, or any kind of update from Linda. Your leg bounced restlessly under the desk, as your mind ran in circles. It should’ve been over by now. Someone should’ve said something. Anything.
You tried to take a deep breath but didn’t quite manage it.
“Come on…” You whispered under your breath, like somehow that would make your phone light up. But sitting here wouldn’t do anything.
You pushed your chair back suddenly, the legs scraping softly against the floor as you stood, pacing once across the small office before stopping by the doorway, your eyes drifting out into the empty garage.
You could still picture Steve in there, working on a car, laughing with customers, smoking by the door.
It felt wrong like this, without him.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to calm your breathing, anything to stop you from panicking.
He said he’d be okay. He said that. So why hadn’t you heard anything?
Suddenly, the familiar sound of tires outside made you freeze.
Your head snapped toward the door, your heart jumping into your throat as headlights briefly cut through the gaps in the blinds. Your stomach dropped as you heard the car door open and shut… then there was a knock on the office door. A very familiar knock.
“Y/n?” Of course it was him.
You stayed where you were for a second, your body going completely still, your chest tightening for a whole different reason now.
He shouldn’t be here. Maybe if you were quiet enough he’d think maybe you forgot to turn the lights off…
But when you glanced over at the door, you met his eyes through the open blinds.
“…We’re closed.” You called out, your voice quieter than you meant for it to be.
There was a short silence again, but then he gave the door a push... and it opened
You glanced over at him and immediately noticed he looked awful, like he hadn’t been sleeping much either. It made your heart hurt even more. His eyes found you almost instantly, and whatever he’d been about to say seemed to catch in his throat for a second.
“I was just passing and, uh, I saw the lights,” he said, his voice careful, like he wasn’t sure how far he could go. “Thought you might still be here.”
You nodded slightly, your arms still wrapped tight around yourself.
“Yeah.”
The silence stretched between you both, and he took a few steps closer, not too many though, just like he was testing the distance, like he didn’t want to push you.
“You alright?” He asked. The question almost made you laugh.
You shook your head before you could stop yourself.
“No.”
You looked away quickly, pressing your lips together like you could hold everything in if you just tried hard enough.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice softer now.
You swallowed hard.
“It’s Steve,” you said, your voice barely holding together. “He’s in surgery today-”
“Shit that was today?”
You nodded.
“I haven’t heard anything, not since I called him this morning,” you added, “It’s been hours… I don’t know if that’s normal or if something’s gone wrong or if-”
You cut yourself off, almost on the verge of hyperventilating as you looked down at the floor.
For a moment, he didn’t say anything, but he took another step closer.
“Hey,” he said gently, “I’m sure-”
You shook your head again, like you didn’t want comfort, like you didn’t want anything that might make you crack.
“Don't… I can’t-” you let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do.”
Your phone stayed silent in your hand, like it was mocking you. Noah glanced at it, then back at you.
“…Do you want company? Just while you wait for the call?” He asked carefully.
It should've been a simple answer, but you hesitated. Because a part of you- a big part of you- wanted to say yes. You wanted to step forward and let him hold you like he used to, bury your face in his chest and breathe him in and let him wrap his arms around you…
But you knew that wasn’t the best idea right now.
So you shook your head softly, almost apologetically.
“I think I just… need some space.” You said quietly.
He gave you a small nod.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s okay.”
He didn’t argue or push, or convince you otherwise. He knew this was also for the best, and he didn’t want you to think he was taking advantage of the situation.
So even though it hurt, he accepted it.
“I’ll-” he gestured toward the door. “I’ll leave then.”
You nodded again, your eyes still fixed somewhere past him.
“Thanks.”
For a moment, he didn’t move. It was like he wanted to say something else. Like there were a hundred things sitting right on his tongue.
But he didn’t.
“…He’s gonna be okay.” He said instead, quietly.
You didn’t trust yourself to respond, so you just nodded. He stayed there for one second longer… then two. Then he turned and walked back towards the door.
And just like that, it was quiet again. You stayed there for another hour, waiting for a call on either your phone or the work phone- though you knew that wasn’t likely.
So finally, you made your way home.
The world didn’t feel real anymore, everything felt like a bad dream that you were just waiting to wake up from. When you pulled up, you realised you had completely zoned out on the drive home, but you shook it off and opened the door with shaky hands.
You didn’t take your shoes off when you stepped in, you didn’t take your jacket off either. You just stood there in the hallway, your heart beating too hard against your ribs as you reached into your bag for your phone.
It had been long enough now, so you hit the call button under Linda’s name.
It rang and rang and rang.
...Then it went to voicemail.
“No…” You groaned under your breath, already pulling the phone away to try again.
You paced as it rang this time, back and forth across your hallway, your free hand gripping at your hair, at your jacket, at anything.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up…”
Voicemail again.
You hung up again immediately, your fingers trembling and tears slipping as you pressed call again. The sound of it ringing filled your ears, or maybe that was just your heartbeat.
Your stomach churned, a wave of nausea hitting you so suddenly you had to brace a hand against the wall.
“Please…” You whispered.
Ring ring.. ring ring.. r-
“Hello?”
You froze.
Your breath caught so sharply it hurt.
“Linda?” you said quickly, your voice already breaking. “Linda, what’s going on? I’ve been waiting all day, I didn’t hear anything, I-”
There was a far too long pause on her end.
That was never a good sign.
Suddenly, you felt your heart drop before she even said anything.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Linda said, her voice quiet and soft. Too soft.
“Is he okay?” You asked immediately. “Did it go alright? Why didn’t anyone call me, I’ve been waiting all day, I thought…”
There was another pause, but it was longer this time.
And that’s the moment you knew.
“…Linda?”
On the other end, you could hear her breathing. Unsteady and shaky, like she was trying to find the words. Like she didn’t know how to say them… like she didn’t want to say them because that made it real. But you didn’t even need to hear her say it.
Because you knew.
“Oh, sweetheart…” Linda’s voice cracked, and you could tell she was holding back a sob.
“No…” you whispered, shaking your head even though she couldn’t see you. “No, no, don’t… just- tell me he’s okay. Please.”
She was silent.
“…I’m so sorry.” She finally whispered weakly.
Your brows pulled together, your grip tightening.
“What?” you said, almost breathless. “No, what do you mean sorry? You said… he said he was gonna be fine, I only spoke to him this morning-”
On the other end, Linda’s voice wavered.
“There- there were complications,” she said gently. “They tried, they really did, but…”
“No,” you cut in immediately, shaking your head harder now. “No… he said he’d be okay…”
The world around you stopped moving completely. You felt frozen to the spot.
“I know.” She said softly, but that didn’t help.
It didn’t make sense. It didn’t fit. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
She was lying.
Your breathing turned sharp and uneven, your chest heaving as panic flooded through you ice cold.
“No,” you said again, louder this time. “No, you’ve got it wrong, you have to- can I talk to him? Just… just put him on the phone. Please I need to talk to him-”
A broken sound came through the line. Not quite a sob, but something close, and then you heard her sniffle.
“I can’t, darling.” Linda whispered, and that was it. Something inside you completely shattered.
“He can’t…” your voice cracked, the words barely forming. “He can’t be, he can’t-”
Your knees gave out beneath you, you barely registered the moment you hit the floor, your back sliding against the wall as your body gave in, your hand clutching the phone so tightly it hurt.
“No…” you sobbed, the sound tearing out of you without warning, completely raw and uncontrollable. “No, no, no…”
Tears were burning down your face, blurring your vision, making your hair stick to your cheeks.
“I didn’t even- I didn’t get to…” you choked, your words falling over each other. “I was gonna come see him again, I was gonna- he said he’d be fine-”
“I know,” Linda said softly, though her own voice trembled now like she was trying her hardest to hold it together, because she knew someone had to. “I know, sweetheart…”
Your whole body shook.
“I didn’t even say goodbye,” you cried, your voice breaking over the words. “I thought I had time…”
You could barely even breathe through the sobs, your chest burning.
“I can’t-” you gasped. “I can’t do this… I don’t know how-”
“You’re not alone,” Linda said quickly. “I’m here, okay? I’m right here, darling.”
But she wasn’t. Not really. Not in the way you needed.
“I want him back,” you cried, the words childish and desperate, “I want him back, Linda-”
A soft and broken sound came through the phone.
“I know... me too.” She whispered, her own tears spilling now.
But wanting didn’t change anything.
There was nothing you could do. Nothing could fix this. Nothing could change this.
The crushing, irreversible truth struggled to settle in your chest, that he was gone.
Steve wasn't coming home.
…
Noah didn’t hear anything, and at first he didn’t think much of it. He knew it’d take time, surgeries could run long and people didn’t always have their phones on them.
Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself.
But by the next day, he knew something was off. He stood in his kitchen, phone in hand, staring down at the message he’d sent last night.
Noah: Hope it all went well, old man. I promise I'll be back to visit when you start to feel better... there's a lot I need to talk to you about.
He swallowed hard, staring at the screen for a moment longer before shoving his phone into his pocket.
He assumed everyone was just busy.
Then, the next day, he passed by the garage on his way to Folio’s place for rehearsals.
And it was closed- properly this time. No cars outside, no lights, nothing. That wasn’t right. Even on a slow day, someone would be there. You’d be there.
But he kept going and drove past, telling himself not to overthink it.
But the next day, he drove past again. He didn't need to pass it, but he was just curious.
Hm. That's weird. It was still closed.
Even the next day, nothing had changed.
That’s when he realised something was definitley wrong. He had a feeling from the beginning, but he didn’t want to overreact. But now he knew.
And instead of heading to Folio’s this time, he turned the car around. He didn’t head back toward his place either, instead, he drove straight to yours.
His car slowed as he pulled up outside your house, his eyes scanning your drive- his heart sunk when he spotted your car there. You must be in.
He cut the engine, sitting there for a second, his hands still resting on the wheel as he stared at your front door. No lights were on inside, he couldn't see any movement. Maybe you weren’t even in? Maybe Steve was fine and you’ve gone to visit… but then why would your car be there dumbass?
Please be okay, he thought as he got out and walked up to your front door.
He lifted his hand to knock…
“Y/n?” He called out.
There was no answer, and he felt his heart starting to race before he knocked again.
Still nothing.
He stepped back a little, glancing at the windows, trying to see any sign of movement inside, but there wasn’t
For a second, he considered leaving. Maybe you wanted space, maybe you weren’t in, maybe you were asleep? Whatever it was, whatever you needed, he just wanted to respect it.
But then he saw the kitchen light flick on, so he knocked one more time, a little more urgent this time.
“Y/n, I know you’re in there… it’s just me.”
A long pause followed, before he heard the sound of the lock.
Then the door opened just enough for him to see you. And the moment he did, everything inside him shattered.
Your eyes were red and swollen, like you hadn’t stopped crying. Skin pale, hair a mess. Your whole body looked like it was barely holding itself together.
“Hey…” he stepped forward instinctively, his voice soft but urgent. “What happened?”
Your lips parted slightly, but no words came out. You haven’t spoken in days, unless you count sobbing, your voice must’ve completely gone.
So you just looked at him.
“…Y/n?”
“Steve didn’t make it.” You just managed to say, the words sounding more like a breath than sound.
But they still hit him like a punch to the chest, and he completely froze, his heart stopping for a brief second.
“What?”
Your face crumpled again almost instantly, your grip on the door slipping as another sob forced its way out of you.
“He didn’t make it,” you repeated, your voice breaking as your shoulders sagged. “He- he was supposed to be okay, he said he’d be fine and I…”
You couldn’t finish what you were trying to say, but you didn’t need to.
Noah’s stomach dropped, suddenly feeling sick.
“Fuck…” He whispered, his hand coming up to the back of his neck as he tried to process it.
Steve had gone… just like that. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn't-
But when his eyes met yours again, he knew that whatever he was feeling didn’t matter. It meant nothing compared to you.
“Hey,” he said quickly, stepping closer without thinking this time. “C’mere-”
His arms wrapped around you before you could stop him, before either of you could think about it. And for a split second, your body tensed, remembering everything that had happened between you…
But you didn’t pull away. You let him pull him in, you let him hold in the doorway as a loud, uncontrollable sob tore from you, your hands clutching at his hoodie as you pressed your face into his chest.
“Shhh, I’ve got you,” he whispered, keeping his voice steady despite the way he was feeling himself, “I’ve got you.”
His hand came up to the back of your head, holding you closer, the other wrapped firmly around your back like he was afraid you might fall apart if he let go.
Fuck, he just wanted to take the pain away.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye, Noah…” you cried, your head tilting to look up at him. “I thought I had time, I thought-”
He swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he held you tighter. But before he could say anything, your knees buckled beneath you, but he caught you, his arms wrapping tigther around you.
“Hey… hey, easy.” He whispered, “Can I come in?”
You nodded your head against him, clinging to him as he gently guided you backwards into the house. He led you over to the couch, where he carefully eased you down. And the moment he tried to pull back, your hands tightened on his hoodie, so he stopped. Instead, he crouched in front of you.
He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, though. He wasn’t sure where he was or wasn’t allowed to touch, so he played it safe, and hesitantly he raised his hand and cupped your cheek. Your skin was cold and damp with tears, but his thumb brushed them away as they fell.
“Look at me.” He whispered again, but your eyes stayed squeezed shut as you shook your head, like you were embarrassed you were even in this situation, like you didn’t want him seeing you in this state.
“I was supposed to be there,” you choked out, “The morning he went in… I wanted to actually be there but- but I was scared… what if- what if he-”
Your words trailed off as your breath hitched, making Noah’s heart hurt.
“I know,” he said softly, gently, “I know… I’m sorry.” God, it felt useless, but he wasn’t sure what else to say. What else do you say in this situation?
His hand slid from your cheek to the back of your head, and he gently threaded his fingers into your hair as he slowly pulled you closer, just enough to offer it without forcing you-
But you fell into him, like it was the only place left to go. The only place left that felt familiar and safe.
Your sobs were muffled by his hoodie as you buried your face into his chest again.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye…” you cried, hiccuping, “I never thought I’d- I’d have to.. he said he’d be okay and I believed him… I always believed him!”
“I know,” Noah whispered, his cheek resting against the top of your head, his eyes falling shut as he held you tighter, “Shhh, I know, baby…”
Shit. The word slipped out before you could stop it, and he froze- you felt his body tense up… but neither of you acknowledged it. Neither of you really had the strength to.
His hand moved slowly against your back, stroking up and down steadily, and despite everything that happened between you two, you found comfort in it. Your body shook against him, your whole body completely exhausted from crying but unable to stop.
“I should’ve been there,” you whispered, your voice weak and scratchy, “I should’ve visited more… I should’ve-”
“No,” he said softly, pulling back just enough to look at you, his hand still carefully cradling the back of your head, “Don’t do that… don’t start doing that to yourself.”
You opened your eyes, glossy and unfocused as you tried to search his face… like you were looking to see if he had an answer to this, if he could make sense of this.
“But I left him.” You said, your voice barely even a whisper. But it made his heart twist.
“You didn’t,” he replied gently, “You didn’t leave him-”
“I did!” You insisted, your face crumpling even though you tried so hard to keep it together, “I thought I had more time… but I stayed here- he must’ve been so scared, Noah, he-”
You couldn’t even finish your sentence, but Noah’s thumb came back to brush your cheek again, catching another tear as it fell.
“You didn’t know. Neither did he. But this isn’t on you, okay?” He said softly, “Did he have his family around him?”
You nodded your head.
“His sons… and Linda- but I wish I was there. He’s… he’s all I’ve got. All I had.”
The last word barely made it out, it caught in your throat before you forced it out, and Noah noticed. His hand thumb slowly stroked your cheek, trying to offer you at least a little comfort in this situation.
“You know that’s not true,” he said quietly, his voice dipping like he was trying to meet you where you were. “You’ve still got people.”
You shook your head, more urgently this time.
“It’s not the same! It’s not- no one else knows me like that, Noah… he raised me, he took me in, he-”
Your words dissolved into nothing again, your shoulders shaking as another sob broke through you. And something in Noah shifted, because he had seen it- the way you were with Steve. The way he was the one thing you knew you always had to fall back on, the way you’d always be look so happy when you'd tell him about the memories you had of him, it was more than obvious that he wasn’t something you could replace. Ever.
“I know,” he finally said, swallowing hard as he forced his voice to stay steady, even if it cost him something to keep it that way, “I know it’s not the same. It’s never gonna be the same… he really was one of a kind.”
You carefully let go of his hoodie, your hands aching a little from how hard you had grasped. But then you looked up to meet his eyes, searching his face, looking at him like you needed him to say something else… something better. Something that would make it hurt less.
He knew what you wanted him to say, but he didn’t want to lie to you. He couldn’t.
Not when in a month's time, he’d be on the other side of the country.
“It doesn’t mean you’ve got no one.” He added gently.
Then he hesitated for a moment, because this was the line, and he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to cross it anymore.
“You’ve got your friends… and Linda.”
You sniffled, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe your face.
“You haven’t stopped crying since I got here,” Noah suddenly pointed out, “I’m gonna get you some water, okay?”
You didn’t respond properly, you just gave him a small, weak nod.
He slowly rose to his feet, straightening up while you sank back into the couch, curling up into yourself. And Noah lingered for a moment by the door, just looking at you, making sure you were still breathing steady, then he turned and headed into the kitchen.
He didn’t need to think as he moved through the kitchen, muscle memory guided him as he reached for a glass and filled it with water from the tap, his own hands trembling from everything that had just happened.
But he ignored it.
He then found the bread, pulling out a couple slices before slipping them into the toaster. He knew you hadn’t eaten, he knew you too well. He knew you’d say no if he asked you, and if he asked why you’d say you feel too stressed, too sick. So he wanted to make sure he at least offered something to you.
When he came back into the living room, glass in one hand, plate in the other, he spotted you on the couch, half lying on your side, staring blankly at nothing.
He couldn’t help but frown as he set everything down on the coffee table.
“Can you sit up for a second for me?” He asked gently, and you just blinked at him, like it took too much effort to even register those words.
But you eventually pushed yourself up weakly, like crying had drained you of all your energy. But he was there, and he helped steady you.
“Here,” he said as he handed out the glass, “Just a few sips, okay? Get your fluids back up.”
You listened, taking a few shaky sips.
“Good,” he smiled gently, “That’s it.”
You handed the glass back to him when you were done, and he set it back down on the table. He then reached for the plate, carefully offering it to you.
“I’m guessing you’ve not eaten much lately, so I made some toast… think you can try for me? It's only a little burnt.” He teased, trying to lighten the mood.
You looked at the plate, then back at him. Your stomach turned at the thought, but you knew he was right.
But another part of you was a little unsure, you couldn’t quite understand why he was being like this? Why he even cared?
“Just a little…” He added softly.
You nodded then, taking a slice from the plate and taking a small bite. But you were only doing it so you had something else to focus on that wasn’t him.
…
By the time you’d had enough, your energy was completely gone. You could barely keep your eyes open, your head kept dropping slightly, your body swaying with it, and Noah couldn't help but smile gently when he noticed.
“You tired?” He asked softly. “Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”
You didn’t argue, you just gave him a weak nod, then he helped you up off the couch and followed him to your bedroom.
He guided you inside, pulling the covers back with one hand before helping you lay down.
You didn’t even have the energy to adjust yourself, you just sank into the mattress, feeling completely exhausted and empty.
He pulled the covers up over you, tucking them in slightly around your shoulders like he used to, like nothing had changed.
His hand lingered there for a second… then moved to softly brush your hair back from your face.
“…Try and get some sleep.” He said quietly.
Your eyes opened just enough to look at him, debating whether to say it…
Stay?
But you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t have the energy, maybe you already knew the answer. Maybe you were afraid you’ve already been too much.
You sniffled as you watched him.
“I will.” You whispered.
He nodded, just once, then he stepped back. Like he didn’t even think about staying… and for some reason, that hurt. Because there was no hesitation, he didn’t linger, he just headed back to the bedroom door.
And then he paused there for a second, his hand resting on the handle like he was grounding himself, like leaving was taking something out of him too.
But he didn’t turn around.
“Text someone if you need anything,” he said quietly. “Jess… or…”
He stopped himself, swallowing hard. He couldn't say me. He didn’t know you had unblocked him. That’s why he came over instead of sending you a text. At least that’s what you were telling yourself, otherwise he would’ve said to text him… right?
“…Just don’t stay like this on your own, alright? Please, don’t isolate yourself.”
“Okay.” You said, and it came out smaller than before, weaker.
And then he nodded again, and left without another word.
…
When you woke up, it didn’t feel like morning. You didn't know what it felt like, you were just so disoriented and had no idea how long you’d been out for- but light was spilling through your curtains. It took you a moment to even register where you were- your room, your bed, the same position you’d fallen into hours ago.
Then you turned over to look at the clock, and saw it was now late afternoon.
An entire day had passed.
You felt your stomach drop, had you really been asleep that long?
It made sense, in a way. Your body had needed it, it needed to shut down, to escape, to take a break from everything your mind couldn’t stop replaying. But waking up meant it all came back.
And it did.
You swallowed hard, staring blankly at the wall for a long moment as you replayed every awful thing from the last few days… but then, something else surfaced. Something a little less terrifying.
Noah.
You could still picture it so clearly- the way he looked when you opened the door, the way his expression changed the second he saw you, the way he didn’t hesitate before pulling you into him.
Even after everything, he came. He didn’t have to, he didn’t owe you that… but he did it anyway. He took care of you, then he left. Why did he leave?
Oh. Yeah.
You understood why he left.
You weren’t together anymore. You’d made that clear. You were the one who told him there was nothing to talk about and shut him down every single time he tried, every time he offered…
You were too much. You always had been.
You exhaled slowly, pushing yourself up just enough to reach for your phone, your movements sluggish, like your body hadn’t fully caught up with you yet.
You ignored all the notifications, and went straight to your contacts, scrolling down until you found his name. You knew you shouldn’t text him… everything was still unresolved, nothing had actually changed. You were still hurt, still angry, still trying to hold onto the decision you made.
But he held you, he stayed long enough to make sure you were okay, he was the one to pull you in first.
And now you were just… going to say nothing? Go about your lives like it all meant nothing?
No. You at least had to thank him first.
You tapped onto the message button, and for a moment your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, your brain going completely blank. What the hell were you even supposed to say?
You tried not to overthink it, and just typed anyway.
Hey, I just woke up and I wanted to say thank you for yesterday…
You stared at it, it didn’t feel like enough. You knew you had more to say… so you swallowed and started typing again.
I’m sorry if I was a bit much. I didn’t mean to put that all on you.
Your throat burned as you kept going.
I know things are still messed up between us… and I’m still upset.
You knew you had to be clear that this changes nothing, that you had to protect yourself, even now, despite what your heart wanted.
This doesn’t change anything, but I’m glad you were there. I really appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me.
You took a deep breath, not daring to read it before pressing send. Because once it was out there, you couldn’t take it back. He could read it, he could respond… or not.
You then set your phone down beside you, staring at nothing as that daunting feeling, that familiar anxiety crept back in again.
And you couldn’t believe that even now, even after everything, a part of you was still waiting for him to come and make everything better again.
…
20 minutes away, Noah was sitting in a diner with Folio and Jolly as they discussed the move. All three of them were moving out to LA, Folio and Jolly were moving in with a couple friends, but Noah was going to be alone in his apartment now that things with you were over.
He tried not to think about it. About how he imagined your reaction to each room, how he decided on that specific one because he knew you’d love the balcony, how the place would be perfect to-
“Dude?” Folio waved a hand, “You still with us?”
Noah blinked, like he had been woken from a trance.
“Yeah… yeah… uh, Jolly’s picking up a van?”
“Yeah, it’s gonna be a long drive… google's saying it's gonna take a couple days...”
Jolly’s words trailed off to Noah as his phone screen lit up, and he felt his heart stop for a second when he saw your name light up the screen… was he dreaming?
“Uh… I’m just gonna go out for a smoke.” Noah lied, and the guys knew it was a lie- he stopped smoking the day you told him you hated the smell.
He stepped outside, then pulled his phone back out of his pocket. His heart sank as he read your message, but then again you reached out. You didn’t have to text him…
He stood there for a moment, wondering how the hell to reply to that. There was so much he wanted to say, but none of it felt right right now… not while you were still hurting. So instead, he tried to keep it simple.
You weren’t too much
He paused for a moment to think, before deciding to add...
You could never be too much. You didn’t put anything on me, I wanted to be there, I wanted to help.
He rubbed a hand over his jaw as he thought about the next part, how to say it without crossing a line, without making it about him.
I know things aren’t okay between us, and for what it's worth I'm still sorry. But I’m not going to push that right now… just know I meant what I said. You’re not alone. You don’t have to go through this alone. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.
His heart hurt as he read it over. It wasn’t perfect, but none of this was.
So he hit send, and stayed out there for a moment, trying to steady himself again before he went back inside.
He slipped his phone back into his pocket, he wasn’t really expecting a reply, or for you to even read his message.
…
The next few days all blurred together, it didn’t help that you had messed up your sleep schedule the day Noah came over. But in those days, you didn’t leave the house. Not even once.
The garage stayed closed, like everything had paused in respect for Steve. Jess even sent you a picture of the front door when she passed by a couple days ago- flowers were scattered across the ground, candles that had been lit during a little memorial that was held for him by some of his friends and regulars. You would’ve gone, but you knew you wouldn’t have been able to handle it. You couldn't even think about leaving the house right now.
Most of your time was spent on the couch, or the bed, or the floor. Wherever you ended up when it all weighed down on you.
You didn’t feel too lonely, however, since you spent most of your time on the phone to Jess or Linda- but mostly Linda. You spoke to her every day, sometimes for hours, sometimes for just a few quiet minutes where neither of you said much… but you were both glad that you had each other in a time like this.
You learned the details you didn’t want to hear and needed to know at the same time. What happened, how it happened. The last thing he said before he went in.
“The night before he went in, he was talking about you and that boy…” She said softly during one of the calls.
You let out a soft chuckle despite the pain in your chest.
“Noah?” You swallowed, “What did he say?”
She paused for a moment before answering.
“He was telling me you had a falling out, but I didn’t believe that. That boy looks at you like you hung the moon… seeing the two of you up here when you came to visit... it reminded me of when we were younger…”
She trailed off, and you heard her sniffle over the line. Your heart ached for her. You felt stupid for feeling upset about everything with Noah when you know what she’s going through right now.
…
A week had passed, and Jess had had enough. She didn’t say it like that, but you knew. You could just tell.
She sat beside you on the couch, she had been coming over to visit ever since Noah had come by, because that’s when you realised you couldn’t stand to be alone. Even though you don’t say much when she’s over, she doesn’t mind. She sits with you anyway. One day she even brought a couple colouring books over, just so you both had something to do, something to keep your mind distracted.
But by now, she was tired of seeing you sulking. Of course she knew you were grieving… but she hated seeing you sit in the same place like this every single day.
“This isn’t what he’d want, you know.” She said out of the blue.
Your brows drew together slightly as you looked up from you colouring and met her eyes.
“What?”
“Steve,” she said gently. “This…” she gestured around you, at the blanket, the stillness, the way you hadn’t moved much all day. “This isn’t what he’d want for you.”
You looked away, feeling the lump in your throat come back.
“I don’t really care what anyone wants right now.” You grumble under your breath as you picked your pen back up.
Jess didn’t push right away, she just looked at you for a moment, letting the words sit before she spoke again.
“He’d want you to celebrate him,” she said. “Not hide away like this.”
You swallowed hard.
“I don’t feel like celebrating anything.”
“I know,” she said softly. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”
You shook your head, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.
“I can’t just go out and act normal, Jess.”
“I’m not asking you to act normal,” she said quickly. “I’m just asking you to leave the house.”
You stayed quiet after she said that, thinking it over… or trying to.
“Sam and I were gonna go out after he finishes work tonight,” she added casually, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Just for a drink. Nothing crazy.”
You didn’t respond, so she continued…
“You can come with us,” she said. “If it’s too much, we’ll leave. No questions asked. We can come back here instead, or come back to my place… or if you need some time alone, just tell us.”
You glanced over at her, and she was watching you carefully, a soft smile on her lips. She wasn’t pushing, she was just offering. You knew that if you said no then she wouldn’t force you.
“You don’t have to stay long,” she added. “You don’t even have to talk. Just… get out of the house for a bit…?”
You were so torn, because a part of you knew she was right. That’s exactly what Steve would’ve wanted. He would hate to see you in this state. You could just imagine him looking down on you, sighing and shaking his head the way he always did.
You let out a slow breath.
“…I don’t know if I can.” You admitted with teary eyes.
Jess nodded.
“That’s okay,” she said. “It doesn’t have to be tonight…”
Your eyes dropped to the colouring in your lap as you thought about it. How Steve would always tell you that you were too stubborn for your own good.
He’d always been right.
“Okay,” you said quietly, “Just one drink.”
Jess perked up, a big smile spread across her face.
“Really?”
You nodded your head.
“For Steve.”
And for the first time in what felt like forever, the heaviness on your chest felt like it had been lifted just a little.
...
Like last time, you didn’t get dressed up. You showered and made sure you looked presentable, but you weren’t looking for any attention tonight. If anything, you wanted the opposite.
The world was suddenly louder than you remembered, the music in the bar hurting your ears the moment you stepped in. It wasn't too overwhelming, though. You adjusted to it after a moment, it was just a bit of a surprise after spending days in silence.
Glasses clinked around you, laughter rose and fell in waves, cutting through the music and soft chatter in the room. It should’ve felt normal. Comforting, even.
But it didn’t.
You sat in the booth beside Jess, your drink untouched for longer than it should’ve been, your fingers loosely wrapped around the glass as condensation gathered against your skin.
You didn’t feel like you were even here, not fully. Your mind was drifting in and out, catching a few words between Jess and Sam, watching how the lights reflected off the windows, but your mind was still elsewhere.
Every few moments, it all came back. You thought you’d come to terms with it now, but every time you thought about Steve it all felt fresh again. You blinked quickly, forcing your gaze down to your drink, taking a slow sip just to give yourself something to focus on, to force the lump in your throat back down.
“Hey,” Jess said gently beside you, nudging your arm slightly. “You still with us?”
You nodded, even though it wasn’t entirely true.
“Yeah,” you murmured. “I’m just… a bit tired.”
She gave you a small, understanding smile before turning back to Sam.
And you tried, you really did. They both knew you were trying, and they were just happy to see you out of your house. They had no other expectations tonight.
You listened, you nodded at the right moments, you even let out a quiet laugh once or twice, but it all felt like you were watching yourself do it from somewhere else. Like you weren’t really you in this moment. Like you were slightly out of sync with everything.
Still, it was better than being alone. At least here, you weren’t sitting in silence with your thoughts.
You exhaled slowly, your shoulders dropping just a little… and that’s when you saw him across the bar.
At first, it didn’t register. You just knew you recognised his face… but you couldn’t quite place it through the haze of everything else that happened.
Then suddenly, it clicked.
Folio!!
Noah’s friend…
Your stomach dropped when you realised. You froze for a second, your fingers tightening around your glass as your eyes lingered just a second too long. Just long enough to catch you looking.
The moment he spotted you, his expression changed- he looked surprised at first, then it changed to something softer, then something more uncertain. Then he started to make his way over, and you quickly turned back to your friends.
“You alright?” Jess asked, looking a little confused.
You nodded your head.
“I think I know this guy… he-”
Before you could say anything, before she could ask any questions, he was there.
“Hey…” Folio said, stopping just beside the table, his voice careful. “Y/n, isn't it?”
You nodded, managing a small, tired smile.
“Yeah. Hi.”
He glanced between Jess and Sam briefly, offering a polite nod before looking back at you.
“How are you?” He asked. You wondered how much he knew, whether Noah talked to his friends about you or not.
Still, you let out a quiet breath.
“I’ve been better.”
He winced slightly, realising after he asked.
“Yeah… I heard about your uncle,” he said, softer now. “I’m really sorry.”
You let out a huff- a sound that wasn’t quite a laugh. All you’ve gotten from people lately has been I’m sorry…
“It’s not your fault.” You shrugged, your voice blunt and cold, almost a little rude. An awkward silence followed, and you almost felt bad. But then he spoke again.
“And… about you and Noah.” He added, a little more hesitant this time.
Your fingers stilled against your glass as you looked away.
“What about it?” You asked, your voice quieter now.
He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“He told us you guys split,” he said. “He didn’t really go into detail, but…” he trailed off, shrugging slightly. “Didn’t seem great.”
You swallowed hard.
“No,” you said. “It wasn’t.”
Then Folio sighed softly, like he was debating whether to say something.
“…He didn’t want it to end like that, you know.” He said.
Your brows pulled together slightly as you looked back up at him.
“What do you mean?”
He shifted his weight on his feet, glancing over his shoulder for a moment before looking back at you.
“I mean… he wanted to tell you,” he said. “About him and Maya. Even before you two started taking things seriously-”
“…What?” You asked, shaking your head, like you couldn’t believe the words you were hearing.
He frowned slightly.
“Yeah,” he said. “He was gonna tell you, but Maya…” he huffed out a small breath. “She told him not to. Said it’d just complicate things, so she made him promise not to tell you…”
Your stomach dropped.
You stared at him, like it was all you could do.
“Wait,” you said slowly. “Him and Maya?”
“…Yeah?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Now it was his turn to look confused.
“…That they used to hook up,” he said, like it was obvious. “Before you and him even-”
“What?” The word came out sharper and louder than you meant it to.
Jess and Sam both turned to look at you now, but you barely noticed.
“Yeah…?” he frowned. “That’s- that is why you guys broke up, right?”
Your heart was pounding now.
“No??” You said, shaking your head slightly. “That’s not…” you let out a breath, your thoughts scrambling. “That isn’t what she told me.”
He blinked.
“…What do you mean?”
You swallowed hard.
“Maya said that… that he only wanted to sleep with me,” you were breathless now, your heart racing, “That it was just some kind of plan. That he didn’t actually… he didn’t love me.”
For a moment, he was quiet.
Then he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. It wasn’t intentionally mean or cruel, just genuinely surprised.
“Are you serious?”
“I don’t see what’s funny.” You spat.
He shook his head, still a little in disbelief.
“No, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I just- fuck, that’s like… the total opposite of the truth.”
You stared at him.
“Huh?”
He let out a soft chuckle.
“Y/n,” he said, more serious now, “That guy’s been head over heels for you since the moment you met.”
Your breath caught.
“No, he hasn’t… that’s-”
“Yes, he has,” Folio cut in, a small smile pulling at his mouth. “You should’ve seen him when he first started working with you. Fuck, he wouldn’t shut up about you. Ever.”
Your heart pounded harder.
“That’s not-”
“Shit, I remember he was so nervous,” Folio continued, like he couldn’t quite believe you didn’t know. “Which- by the way- never happens. Ever. We were all making fun of him for it. Nick even said we should get him a swear jar but for every time he says your name.”
You shook your head slightly.
“But he didn’t act nervous, not once-”
“Yeah. Because he’s an idiot,” Folio said simply. “He hides it behind all that cocky shit.”
Oh yeah, now that sounded like Noah.
“He actually thought you hated him at first,” Folio added. “He was convinced you were gonna get your uncle to fire him in the first week.”
A small, broken laugh almost escaped you. Because it was true.
“But he was still…” Folio shook his head again. “He was all in. Straight away. I’ve known Noah a while now, and I’ve never known him to feel that way about somebody.”
You swallowed hard, still trying to process it all.
“That doesn’t make sense, though,” you said quietly. “Why would Maya-”
“Maya’s just pissed,” he cut in bluntly. “She always had a thing for him, or so he said- he says that about everyone. She didn’t like that he didn’t want her the way she wanted him.”
Your stomach dropped. She was your best friend… and you never knew that?
Was that why she was so distant with you after Halloween?
“…What?”
He nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “It wasn’t serious between them at all. It was just… well, it’s not my place to explain it all. But let’s just say she didn’t take it great when he wanted to stop.”
Your mind was working hard trying to piece everything together, trying to make it all make sense.
“And I’m guessing you know about LA now? You saw Noah the other day?” He added, almost as an afterthought.
Your head snapped up.
“LA?”
Folio blinked.
“…You don’t know about that either?”
Your stomach turned.
“No... what about it?”
He hesitated… then sighed.
“We’re all moving,” he said. “There’s more opportunities for the band out there, and the albums coming out this summer so he wanted to go before that. He’s been talking about this for ages.”
Your heart suddenly dropped.
“…He never told me he was moving.”
“He was going to,” Folio said. “He even wanted you to come with him.”
The words hit harder than anything else.
“He did?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “He was waiting for the right time to talk about it. He wanted to ask you properly.”
Fuck, you felt like you were gonna be sick.
“But then all this shit with Maya came out,” he continued. “You two broke up, and…” he shrugged slightly. “He figured that was it.”
Your mind raced, replaying every word you could remember, every argument, everything that all happened to just be a misunderstanding.
This was exactly why none of it made sense. It all made sense now.
It’s not because he didn’t love you, or want you, or care about you. He did. God, he did.
“I’ve got everything so wrong…” You whispered.
Folio frowned.
“What?”
“When I asked him,” you said, your voice barely there. “If it was true… he thought I meant something else.”
A look of sudden realisation spread across Folio’s face.
“…Oh.” He nodded slowly.
Your stomach dropped.
“He thought I meant him and Maya,” you said, more to yourself now than to him. “She made it all up… this is what she wanted all along. She planned this all, she- that bitch!!”
Your breathing picked up, adrenaline racing through your system, your vision blurring as the weight of it all came crashing down at once.
“…He loves me?” You asked, your voice small, almost disbelieving, as you looked up to meet Folio’s eyes.
Folio let out a quiet breathy laugh.
“It’s more than just love. Trust me.”
Your heart ached so much, and suddenly everything started to make sense.
The flowers on your desk, the way he took care of you, the way he checked in… it wasn’t because he felt bad, it wasn’t because he wanted to keep his job.
You were wrong. So, so wrong.
“Oh my god…” You whispered. “I need to fix this. I need to talk to him right now, I need to-”
“Hey,” Jess reached for your arm, trying to get you to sit back down, “Maybe not tonight. Remember what happened last time you went to his place after a drink?”
“But it’s different this time!” You flew up from your seat, grabbing your phone and jacket, “I was wrong! It was all a lie… we- I-” You couldn’t get your words out, so you just shook your head and turned back to Folio.
“I’ve only had half a beer if you want me to take you to his place? He told me he’s packing tonight, otherwise he would’ve been here-”
“Please,” you nodded frantically, “God, I’ve got so much to apologise for!!”
“You don’t have anything to apologise for.” Jess said as she picked up her bag, “But I know someone that fucking does.”
warnings: horny bastard noah is back... but so is sad noah, and soft noah, and confused noah, and pissed noah, but also jealous noah 🤭but there's no serious warnings besides sexual comments and a little smut lmao
i wanted to make this longer but... i just didn't i guess? i feel like i've just been writing this chapter for so long i just wanted to get it finished :')
“Okay,” you said as you unlocked the front door of the garage, “We’ve both got to work twice as hard without Steve here, so that means...?”
“No flirting, no fucking, no falling asleep.” Noah chuckled, “I know, babe-”
“Uh!” You turned to point a finger at him, “No names either. We’ve got to be professional, Noah!”
Noah smirked, leaning against your desk as you unpacked your work bag, taking out your laptop and diary.
“Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re in work mode.”
You shot him a look.
“Noah. I’m being serious.”
“Me too.” He grinned.
You sighed, sitting down at your desk and opening your laptop.
“Steve trusted us with this place,” you said as you typed your password in, not even looking up at him, “I’m not gonna let him down and mess it up because you can’t behave.”
“Oh, baby, I can behave.” Noah said, pushing off the desk at last, “But you’re just so cute when you’re annoyed.”
Your hands paused over your keyboard, and you slowly tilted your head up to look at him.
“Noah.”
“Mm?”
“Fuck off and go set up shop, I’ve got so much to do and you’re just stressing me out!”
Noah paused. He stood there for a moment, his smile faltering, his head hanging slightly, and for a second you wondered if you had upset him.. but then his smirk spread wider.
“M’kay… only if you gimme a kiss.”
You raised your eyebrows at him in disbelief.
“Are you fucking-”
“One kiss, baby… all I want. Then I’ll get to work.”
You narrowed your eyes, glaring at him. He just waited you out, his arms folded over his chest, completely unbothered, and rather amused.
“You’re doing this on purpose.” You accused.
“Yup.” He smiled proudly as you stood up.
“You like getting on my nerves, don’t you?”
“Love it,” he corrected as you stepped closer to him, “You get all bossy, it’s fucking hot.”
You rolled your eyes, standing in front of him now.
“Fine. One kiss. Then you work, and leave me to get on with my work.”
His eyes lit up, a massive grin spread across his face.
“Deal.”
With a pissed off huff, you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, tugged him down and pressed a quick, annoyed kiss to his lips. It was supposed to be fast, just a quick kiss before getting to work, but Noah kissed you back just enough to make your stomach flip and suddenly you didn’t want to pull away. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him, but you stood your ground and pushed him back.
“Now that was motivating.” He smirked.
You shoved his chest, trying to fight back the smile creeping up on your lips.
“Go. Now.”
He laughed, backing towards the workshop.
“Yes, babe- I mean boss. Don’t miss me too much!”
You shook your head, sitting back down at your desk, smiling at your screen like an idiot.
You managed to work pretty hard that morning, replying to emails, filing invoices and doing some printing. The christmas tree you put up last month was still standing behind the door, putting it away would be a task for the end of the day, you were sure Noah would be back to pestering you by then, so you’d ask him to help.
And soon enough, it was your lunch break.
You shut your laptop, leaned back in your chair and stretched your arms over your head when you noticed a familiar shadow appear in the doorway.
“Noah,” you sighed without looking up, already smiling, “What do you want?”
He didn’t answer right away, instead he wandered over to the front door, locked it up and turned back to you with a lazy smirk, car grease staining his arms, his hair a little messy beneath his red beanie.
“I was thinking,” he said slowly, his eyes dragging over you in a way that made your stomach flip, “We’re both on our break… we should spend it together…”
You raised a brow.
“Noah, we’ve spent every day together since Christmas.”
“I know, but I’m hungry.”
“Your lunch is in the fridge-”
“Baby,” his voice dropped a little lower, “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
He pushed off the door and stepped closer to you slowly, his hands slipped into his pockets, his shoulders relaxed… this wasn’t your sweet, gentle, attentive Noah, this was the horny bastard you knew him as all along.
“C’mon, babe, I’ve been starving all day… and you’ve been sitting here looking all sweet, just what I’m craving right now.”
You scoffed.
“Noah, we’re at work. I already told you this morning-”
“You said no fucking… technically eating you out isn’t fuck-”
“Noah!” You warned, trying to ignore the way your cheeks reddened as you stood up to grab your coat, “For the last time, no!”
His brows furrowed.
“Wait, you’re going somewhere?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Out. To get lunch.”
“Can I come?”
“No.”
“Pleaseee…” He pouted, grabbing your wrist as you reached to unlock the door again, “I’ll behave. Promise.”
You glared at him, pulling your hand back.
“Noah, I-”
“So you don’t want to spend lunch with me? Is that it?” He frowned, poking out his bottom lip as he pouted. You knew it was bullshit, but you couldn’t help but feel bad anyway.
“That’s not when I said.”
“Yes it was.”
You sighed, exasperated, then turned to face him properly. For a moment you just looked at him as you thought… weighing it out in your head… then, you said,
“Fine. C’mon, I’m sure Jess won’t mind.”
Noah froze, which you would’ve noticed if you hadn’t turned back around to unlock the door.
“...Jess?”
“Yeah,” you said, “We’re meeting at the restaurant where Maya works. Our usual spot… so are you coming? Since you can’t stand to leave my side.” You chuckled, oblivious to the way the colour drained from Noah’s face.
“Oh, yeah! Uh… give me two seconds…”
You huffed a playful sigh.
“I’ll wait for you by the car. If you’re coming, then you can drive us.”
The door closed behind you, and Noah just stood there for a second, his heart pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears.
Jess and Maya. And you?
He dragged a hand down his face, letting out a slow breath, still staring at the door. His mind was racing, thinking about the last time he saw Maya- yesterday, on his driveway, red eyed and her voice shaking. And then there was Jess, Jess knew about it all and agreed to keep her mouth shut, but he was certain she wouldn’t have forgiven him…
Still, he grabbed his jacket, because what else was he supposed to do? Say no? Back out? That would look suspicious… and he couldn’t risk that. No chance!
So he locked up the shop, slipping the keys into his pocket as he headed out. You were already by the car, your arms folded over your chest, smiling at him like nothing in the world was wrong.
“You ready?” You asked.
“Yeah.” He said with a nod, forcing a grin as he unlocked the car, “Let’s go.”
…
You pushed the door to the restaurant open, warm air and the smell of food washing over you. You didn’t hesitate, you didn’t need to look around, you knew exactly where your friends would be, so you stepped inside and Noah followed close behind you.
Jess and Maya were sat at the usual table, the one in the corner by the window. Jess had her coat draped over the chair beside her, and Maya sat opposite, her hands wrapped tightly around a mug of coffee. They’d been in the middle of a conversation when you appeared, and they both looked up at the same time…
And whatever expressions they’d been wearing before dropped instantly. Jess’s smile faltered for the briefest moment before she forced it back into place. Maya’s face went blank, her jaw clenching as her eyes drifted from you to Noah…
You, blissfully unaware of it all, beamed.
“Hey, sorry we’re late. Noah insisted on coming…” you said, tugging him along by the sleeve, glancing at the table then back at them and then up at Noah with a grin, “Is there room for a little one?”
Noah stood beside you. All six foot three of him.
Jess blinked, Maya pressed her lips together… they both shot Noah a look, their eyes sharp as if to say what the fuck are you doing here? And Noah felt it like a punch to the ribs.
“Yeah…” Jess quickly got up, grabbing her phone as she moved to sit beside Maya, “Plenty of room.” She forced a laugh as she nodded to the two seats opposite for you two to sit.
“The more the merrier, right?” Maya added, plastering on a smile that didn’t meet her eyes.
You didn’t notice the tension, smiling as you sat down in the chair beside the window. Noah took the seat beside you, his knee bumping yours under the table, and his hand instinctively drifted to your thigh…
Jess saw it. Maya saw it. They shared a disgusted look. Then, just as you were about to speak, a waitress came over.
“Hey guys,” she chirped, “Are you ready to order, or do you need a minute?”
“Can we have a couple minutes.” Jess asked quickly, and the girl nodded.
“Of course.” She smiled, walking away.
The moment she was gone, Jess folded her hands together on the table.
“So, how’s work been without Steve- how is he by the way?”
“I think he’s okay,” you said, before turning to look at Noah with a smirk, “But Noah’s been kinda useless.”
“Excuse me?” Noah shot you an offended look.
“You keep flirting instead of working!” You smirked, “And I keep catching you staring.”
“Can you blame me?” Noah grinned.
Jess laughed, a real one this time but it was a little wobbly. Maya, however, stayed quiet.
She watched the way your whole face softened when Noah smiled at you, the way you leaned into him without even realising, like it was natural.
Noah bumped his knee gently against yours under the table, and you nudged him back.
“I keep telling you, we have to stay professional! You ever heard of that word?”
“Oh, I’m very professional,” Noah smirked, “But I’m good at multitasking too.”
You rolled your eyes with a smile, making Maya swallow hard. She’d seen you smile a million times, but never like this- the way it reached your eyes so easily, the way your whole face just lit up… you really looked happy. And it just felt right, like you and Noah were just made for each other.
She looked down at the table, staring at the menu without even reading it. She knew her feelings for Noah weren’t anything compared to yours. For her, this was just another passing fling that she’d forget about in a few weeks… but for you this was everything. You’ve never given this much of yourself to someone before, you’ve always guarded your heart, protected yourself and just passed it off as being unbothered, or independent. You’ve never felt heartbreak before, not in the ways that she has… so she knew she had to be the stronger person here. She had to put you first, not let the jealousy get to her… but when someone else has all she ever wanted, it makes it difficult.
…
The four of you ordered lunch, and it wasn’t long before the waitress handed plates over to the table. Noah shifted slightly to make room, and gave a soft, polite thank you to the girl before passing your plate over to you without being asked, already knowing which one was yours.
The simple act made Maya’s grip tighten around her fork. She told herself to breathe, to remember why she was doing this. She looked over at you, the pure joy on your face to be sat at a table with your best friends and… Noah.
So she swallowed it down and forced herself to smile.
“...You look happy.” She accidentally said out loud, her eyes widening once she realised.
You were caught a little off guard by that too, but you still gave her a smile. For a moment it looked like you were unsure, like you didn’t know if you could say it… but you did anyway.
“I am.” You said simply, your heart feeling warm whilst Maya’s ached.
You hesitated, taking a sip of your drink before you went on, your voice still gentle.
“I know we haven’t spoken properly in a while,” you said, “So I guess… you probably don’t know about me and Noah?”
Maya’s breath caught, but she tried to play it off.
“You and Noah?”
You nodded, your cheeks warming slightly.
“I don’t know if Jess told you or not… but…” you laughed under your breath, a little nervous, “We’re not together or anything, but we’re also not just friends... or enemies anymore.”
Noah stayed quiet beside you, but his hand still stayed on your thigh. He didn’t interrupt or correct you, he just let you speak.
“Oh!” Maya said, forcing a smile as she lied through her teeth, “That’s… not what I was expecting to hear! We haven't spoke properly in forever, I still thought you hated him- I was confused when I saw him come in with you… and when I saw the two of you the other day.”
You opened your mouth, about to say something, but she got there before you.
“I’m sorry.” She said suddenly, shaking her head. “For being so distant, for not answering your calls or texts… I know I should’ve said something, I just had stuff going on and I guess you could say I didn’t handle it too well.”
Your expression dropped as you frowned.
“Oh, Maya,” you pouted, “You don’t have to apologise… I thought it was me, I thought I did something wrong.”
Her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly.
“No,” she shook her head, “You didn’t! You’ve done nothing wrong, I promise… it’s just me.”
You didn’t notice the way both Jess and Noah were both glaring at her, like they were expecting her to slip up and spill it all at any moment. But she didn’t. She kept true to her promise.
She swallowed, then straightened a little, keeping her composure in place.
“But anyway… I’m glad you’re happy,” she added, “Even if it is with the guy you hated two months ago.”
You all chuckled at that, then you reached out without thinking, your fingers brushing as you rested your hands on top of hers.
“Thank you.” You smiled, before dropping your voice to a whisper, “I promise I won’t let this change anything. I won’t start cancelling plans or bringing him with me everywhere…”
“I know.” Maya smiled, fighting back the tears in her eyes.
After your little moment, the mood shifted again to something happier and lighter. You all talked as you ate, but you couldn’t help but get distracted by Noah when he’d reach over to sneakily steal something from your plate.
“Hey!” You protested, nudging his knee under the table, “That was mine!”
“Oh, sorry babe.” He smirked, “You want some of mine? Make us even?”
He held his fork out to you, and you narrowed your eyes at him before you leaned over and took a bite from it. Maya looked away, glancing out the window whilst Jess just watched the whole exchange with a soft smile.
“You know,” she said, a little smirk creeping up on her lips, “You two really would be a cute couple.”
The table went a little quieter. You laughed nervously, feeling heat rush to your cheeks.
“Oh-”
“Are you sure you’re not actually dating?” She teased, but it only caused you to panic.
The words came out too fast and too sharp, like you didn’t give them any thought.
“No, no!” You said quickly, shaking your head. “I don’t want a relationship.”
There was a brief silence, and it felt very uncomfortable. You didn’t notice the way Noah’s face suddenly dropped, like your words hit him like a punch to the chest. But you kept going, because you thought you were doing the right thing. Because you thought this was what he wanted to hear.
“I mean… I’m just not in the right headspace for that right now,” you added with a nervous laugh, “Not with work and my uncle and… well, I just like things how they are right now. I don’t want anything to change.”
Jess nodded her head slowly, smiling.
“That’s fair,” she said, “That’s what Sam and I were like before he asked me to be his girlfriend, I think we were…”
Jess’s words trailed off to both Maya and Noah. She glanced over at him, and he met her eyes. He was smiling, or trying to, and she could see that. She could see how he seemed a bit taken back by that, like his confidence had suddenly been knocked.
But he tried to play it off. His hand- which had been resting comfortably on your thigh under the table- slipped away. He leaned back in his chair, arms folding across his chest, but Maya’s gaze still lingered on him.
She’s lying, her look said. But Noah didn’t look back at her. He stared down at his plate instead, his appetite suddenly lost whilst your words played on a loop in his head.
I don’t want a relationship.
So this was just fun to you. Something temporary. He’d read everything completely wrong. He told himself not to get too ahead of himself, not to be stupid and think it was anything more than it was… but it felt like it. You spent Christmas together, you celebrated the new year together… after everything you’ve been through together, everything you’ve done together… how could any of that mean nothing?
He was hoping you were just lying because you were suddenly put on the spot, but a part of him couldn’t help but worry he’d given too much of himself away into the wrong hands again…
…
The drive back to work felt a little different, even if you didn’t really notice it. Noah had been rather quiet, though you assumed it was because he was now full and tired. But you were in the best mood you’ve been in for a while, smiling and humming to yourself as you unlocked the front door to your office, shrugging off your coat and hanging it up behind the door. You felt warm and happy, the way you always felt after spending time with your friends.
Whatever awkwardness there’d been at lunch hadn’t lingered for you, but it never occurred to you that it might have for him. Because Noah followed you in, still quieter than usual. He rolled up the shutters and checked the schedule as he dropped his car keys down on to the counter. You watched him for a moment, leaning against your desk, your eyes dragging over him just so much that your stomach did a little flip.
God, he was so fucking hot. How did you ever get this lucky?
“So,” you said casually, a little smirk playing on your lips as you checked the time on your phone, “What do you say, pretty boy… we’ve got thirty minutes ‘til the next customer…”
His shoulders tensed the slightest bit… and when he glanced at you he caught the familiar look on your face- the little teasing smile, the soft eyes you’d give him when you wanted him. Normally, he’d be up in your space already, saying something filthy just to see you blush.
Instead, he hesitated.
“...You sure?” He asked, his voice lighter than he felt, “We don’t have to.”
You frowned slightly, more amused than anything.
“What?” You chuckled, “If I said that to you this morning you would’ve jumped on me by now.”
That earned a small huff of a laugh from him, and a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Yeah, guess I’m just trying to be good.”
You pushed yourself off the desk and stepped closer, closing the gap between you, your hands coming up to rest on his chest.
“Hey,” you said softly, your eyes searching his, “Are you okay?”
He swallowed. He could’ve said something then, he could’ve told you the truth… but he didn’t want to ruin this. He didn’t want to make it awkward, he didn’t want to be that guy… so instead, he smiled.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’m fine, babe.”
You grinned and tugged him down gently by the collar of his hoodie.
“Good… because we don’t have long, and I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
“Thinking about me?” He raised an eyebrow playfully, “Or my dick?”
You smirked, your hand cupping his face as you whispered.
“Your mouth.”
Those two words stole the breath from his lungs, and he could feel his blood rushing down south. His lips parted, his eyes darkened, and before even thinking his lips crashed into yours.
Your eyes widened slightly at the sudden intensity of it, his hands gripped your hips, pushing you back until you bumped into your desk. His thumbs hooked into the waistband of your leggings and pushed them down as far as he could reach… then he broke the kiss to sink to his knees. Your fingers found the edge of the desk, and you held tight as he kissed up your thighs, his breath warm and ragged against the damp spot on your underwear.
“Fuck,” he whispered, “You’ve been thinking about me, huh?” He teased, brushing his thumb over the damp patch, making you shiver.
But before you could say anything back, he pulled them down too, leaving you half naked in your office. Part of you felt nervous, anxious even, but that’s what made it even more thrilling.
He barely gave you a moment to feel that way though, as his hands were suddenly on you again, lifting you ever so slightly onto the edge of the desk. Pens scattered, a stapler clattered to the floor and a stack of paperwork was shoved to the side. But right now you didn’t care, because all you could think about was him.
He was so fucking hard under the denim of his jeans, but he settled between your legs, setting one over his shoulder. Your breath caught when he met your eyes, his were dark, blown out with hunger and lust… then he looked back down.
“Fuck, look at you.” He whispered, running a single calloused finger from your entrance up to your clit. He gave it a teasing circle before sliding his finger back down, gathering your wetness and bringing it up to his lips, keeping eye contact with you as he tasted it slowly with a deep groan. “So sweet… all for me.”
Then his mouth was on you, his tongue licked a stripe up the length of your slit, earning a moan from you as your hands reached back to brace yourself against the desk. He was always so fucking good at this, just thinking about how much experience he must have made you feel a little jealous, but you tried to push that feeling down- then Noah wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked just right, and you found yourself feeling too dizzy to even think about being jealous.
“You’ve been thinking about this all day, huh?” He asked against you, the vibration making you clench around nothing, “Saying no to me all day… making me wait… all whilst you were thinking about my tongue right here.” He punctuated the sentence by pressing a hot kiss right onto your clit.
“Noah!” You whined, only fueling him.
“Shhh, baby,” he said, pulling off you for a second. He slid two fingers into you with ease, curling them upward to find that perfect sweet spot inside. He them slowly started to pump them in and out, and his thumb found your clit while his head rested on your thigh, tilting it to look up at you. “God, you’re always so fucking tight around me… you don’t even know how good you feel… always so warm and wet and fucking-” He couldn’t finish his sentence, just seeing how good he makes you feel is enough to make him cum in his pants.
But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself.
So he buried his face between your legs again, feeling dizzy himself as he licked and nipped and sucked. He made you finish once… and then because he was so drunk off your pussy he just had to give you another, and the second time he was even hungrier and needier, moaning against your skin until you came again.
Once he was done with you, his mouth and chin were covered in a mixture of your slick and his own saliva, his eyes were still dark and hungry, and just as he was about to stand and unzip his jeans there was a knock on the door.
“Uh, is anyone in there?”
The two of you had clearly lost track of time, because you glanced up at the clock… 1:30pm.
Shit. It was the next customer.
…
The next couple days passed pretty quickly. Work wasn’t as stressful as you’d braced yourself for, and Noah was behaving himself too which made things easier. However, you’ve noticed he’s been a little distant… a little less touchy and clingy. You put it down to work though, without Steve here most of the physical work was down to him. You helped when and where you could, but he insisted he was fine…
And so for all his hard work, you promised to reward him with a blowjob at the end of every day once you were home… as long as he’d shower first.
Noah was still in his head about what you had said at lunch with your friends. He wanted to say something about it, he knew it’d be the most sensible option instead of jumping to conclusions, but he was nervous. He’d never been this vulnerable with anyone before, and he was scared. But you gave him your virginity (technically), he was the first guy you ever really let in, he sees it the way you look at him, he feels it in the way you kiss him… this couldn’t mean nothing.
So he told himself he’d do it today. He’d grow a pair of balls and just ask you… but maybe at the end of the day, so he could plan out what to say.
The morning was going so slow- for Noah at least, who had nothing to do right now, and if he did he was procrastinating. You, however, were busy replying to emails and listening to voicemails, ordering parts in and checking stock. So with nothing better to do, Noah strolled into your office and made himself very comfortable.
He dropped down onto the couch opposite your desk with a long sigh and sprawled out, his legs spread as he leaned back, throwing one arm over the backrest, the other tucked behind his head. He watched you for a moment in silence, his eyes dragging over you, watching the way your brow furrowed as you focused.
God, he loved watching you work.
He cleared his throat before saying,
“You know…” a devilish smirk crept up on his face, “You look so hot when you bite your lip like that.”
You didn’t even look up, you just kept typing.
“I’m replying to emails, Noah.” You replied bluntly.
“Mhm,” he shifted, stretching his arms above his head deliberately, knowing his shirt would lift and if you looked over you’d see your favourite little sliver of skin, “You look bored, babe. What’s the email address, I could send you something sexy-”
“Before you even think about sending me a picture of your dick,” you turned to face him, pointing a finger, “Steve looks through these emails too.”
Noah tried to hold back a grin, but he was clearly failing.
“Hey, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind!”
“For fuck- Noah, my uncle does not want to see your dick!!”
“Then I’ll title the email ‘for y/n’s eyes only’”
“Can we please stop talking about this?” You groaned, “Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Yeah… you.”
You let out a long, disappointed sigh.
“Noah-”
“Hey, there’s no customers booked in for another three hours! We could-”
“I’ve got work to do.” You met his eyes again, “If you’ve not got anything productive to do then at least pretend to work… before I make you actually do something.”
“Ohh someone’s grouchy this morning… want me to-”
“Noah.” You shot him a warning look. “Behave.”
He just chuckled, shaking his head.
“I am behaving. I’m being soo good, Steve would be proud.”
“Steve would fire you if he found out what you did to me on the workbench last night.”
Noah laughed again, but he felt he had to force it a little. He relaxed further into the couch, trying to fight back the thought that suddenly crept back into his mind…
Maybe he should say it now?
But what exactly would he say? Hey, when you said you didn’t want a relationship… did you mean with me? Did you really mean it, or were you just put on the spot?
He wanted to ask what are we, really? He wanted reassurance so badly it made his chest hurt…
But instead, he put that smirk back into its place and chuckled.
“Steve would fire you if he found out you made inappropriate use of his mechanic.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip cheekily, “I’m sure we violated almost every health and safety-”
“Noah!” You groaned, sounding defeated now, “Please, I just want to do my job! Go jerk off in the bathroom if you need to! Just do something that doesn’t involve bothering me!”
Noah snorted, shaking his head as he pushed himself off the couch.
“Unbelievable,” he sighed, but there was that fondness in it that he always had with you. “I guess I’ll go and take care of myself then, like a responsible adult. Unlike you, who apparently can’t stop sexually harassing your coworker!”
“What?! You’re the one who-” But you couldn’t even argue back, as he had already disappeared into the bathroom with a laugh, the door clicking shut behind him.
But the quiet didn’t last long- not that Noah would’ve been quiet in the bathroom anyway, you knew that for a fact- because a guy called out from the garage. Noah barely had the time to splash his face with cold water when he heard him.
“Uh… hello? Anyone here?”
“Yeah!” You called out from your desk, your voice bright and professional again.
Noah swore under his breath.
“I wasn't sure if you guys were on a lunch break but I figured I’d take my chances.” The guy said easily and confidently, and you laughed softly.
“No, we’re open… we’re a little short staffed right now but the mechanic’s here, but uh… what can I help you with?”
Noah leaned closer to the door, listening in on the two of you. Then he heard you laugh again… he told himself not to be stupid, this is literally your job, but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.
"My cars making some weird noise whenever I brake. I thought I should get it checked out just in case."
"Okay, give me two minutes..." You said as you looked back down at your laptop, finishing the email your were writing- or trying to.
“Wow,” the guy said, “You’re way nicer than the last place I went to.”
“Yeah,” you chuckled, “We’ve just had a slow morning, you’re our first customer of the day actually.”
Noah took a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom quietly, and heading back into the workshop without a word. You didn’t say anything as he passed, but the guy shot him a look, before turning back to you.
“So what’s your name?” You asked as you typed on your laptop.
“Liam,” he said, “And you are…?”
You told him your name, completely oblivious to the way he was looking at you, and the way his smile widened just a little.
“What a pretty name.” He grinned.
In the workshop, Noah froze. He had still been listening in, and when he heard him say it, in that tone, his blood boiled. It was the one guys used when they were trying just a little too hard to be charming- something Noah’s never had to do, it’s always come natural to him…
He slowly stepped back towards the doorway. You were leaning forwards ever so slightly over your desk, smiling as you spoke to the customer. That could’ve just been your polite customer service smile… but Noah didn’t like it.
He really didn’t like the way it made him feel to see you looking at someone else like that.
“So you work here full time?” Liam asked.
“Yeah,” you said, “I’m pretty much running this place at the moment.”
“Wow,” he flashed a toothy grin, “That’s impressive… I wouldn’t have expected that from a girl like you.”
A girl like you? Noah thought, this guy better watch his fucking mouth...
“So,” Liam glanced down at your hands then back up to your face, “I’m never usually this forward but you’re gorgeous… are you, uh.. taken?”
The question hung there for a second, and you just blinked, clearly not expecting it. You still didn’t quite register it as flirting, you just put it down to curiosity. He was a handsome young man, you assumed he must've had a girlfriend anyway.
“No…” you softly shook your head before looking back down at your laptop screen, hitting send on the email, “I’m not.”
“Oh!” He grinned like a kid on Christmas, and it was almost a little smug, clearly taking that as an invitation, “Well, in that case… could I get your number? Maybe we could get a drink sometime?”
“Oh! Oh… uh, no sorry, I don’t-”
Before you could even finish your sentence, Noah stepped in.
“Hey.”
Both you and Liam turned. Noah stopped beside your desk, his eyes locked on Liam as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You got an appointment?”
Liam shook his head, clearly a little intimidated suddenly.
“Uh no-”
“Then come back when you have one.” Noah said, his words blunt and final.
Liam stood there a little awkwardly now, and you scoffed, staring at Noah.
“Noah.”
“I mean,” Liam shifted on his feet, “I saw online you guys take walk in-”
“We’re booked all day.” Noah cut in, and you shook your head.
“No we’re not.” You snapped.
Noah finally glanced at you, and the look on his face wasn’t playful. It was something you’d never seen before. He looked pissed off. He was clearly hurt, but he buried it so deep it came out sharp instead.
“I said we’re booked.” He repeated, “Make an appointment and come back.”
Your stomach dropped.
“Actually,” you said carefully, “We take walk-ins when we can. You know that!”
Liam cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable now.
“It’s okay, I don’t wanna cause-”
“It’s fine, you’re not causing anything,” you said immediately before shooting Noah a look, “I was just about to log him in.”
Noah huffed a humourless laugh from his nose.
“Not today.”
You stared at him, eyebrows rasied in disbelief.
“Excuse me?”
“No walk-ins today.” He said, his voice firm, “We’re already behind.”
“Noah, nobody’s been in today!” You argued, “And there’s plenty of time before the next booking, you know that.”
Liam looked between the two of you, his eyes wide and a little frightened.
“Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll come back another time.”
“No,” you said now, your frustration bubbling over, “You don’t have to leave just because he’s being-”
“What?” Noah cut in, glaring as he turned fully towards you. “What am I being?”
Unprofessional? Jealous? A dick?
You wanted to say it, but Liam was standing there, and you didn’t want to scare off a customer.
You took a breath and forced a smile you didn’t feel.
“I’m really sorry about this,” you said to Liam, “There’s another shop a few blocks down… or you could come back tomorrow?”
Liam hesitated, then nodded slowly.
“Yeah… okay, thanks.” He said quietly, and then you watched him leave.
And the second the door shut behind him, your eyes narrowed on Noah.
“What the hell was that?” You demanded.
He scoffed, turning away.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t!” You snapped, “Don’t do that. You just turned away a customer!”
“He wasn’t a customer,” Noah shot back, “He was trying to get your number.”
“And?” You crossed your arms over your chest, “That’s not a crime. I deal with this all the time.”
“Yeah,” Noah said bitterly, “But the way you were looking at him… it’s like you were trying to…”
“Trying to what?” You cut in, your voice sharp.
“It felt like you were flirting back.”
You stared at him, genuinely stunned.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Yes!” He snapped, meeting your eyes again, “I am.”
You let out a disbelieving laugh before sitting back down at your desk.
“Noah, I was just trying to be polite. He was a customer.”
“He was hitting on you!”
You scoffed.
“And how many times have you hit on our customers?” You asked, “Actually no don't answer that, we'd be here all day. This happens to me all the time. I didn’t invite it.”
“Yeah, and you didn’t shut it down either.”
“I answered his questions. I smiled. This is my job, Noah!!”
“That wasn’t just customer service,” Noah said, his voice rising despite himself. “You don’t look at everyone like that when you’re just being polite.”
“Oh,” you said. “So now you’re an expert on how I look at people?”
“No! Fuck, look, I’m saying it hurt a little,” he snapped. “Seeing you talk to him-”
“Hurt?” you scoffed. “Since when do you get hurt over who I talk to?”
He couldn’t answer that…
He looked away, pacing a step before turning back, frustration bleeding through his every movement.
“I don’t usually care,” he admitted. “That’s what’s pissing me off.”
You swallowed.
“Well maybe that’s something you need to figure out,” you said softly but firmly. “Because you don’t get to take it out on me or on the business.”
“I was just trying to stop him from-”
“From what?” You interrupted. “Asking for my number? You heard me say no, didn’t you?”
He hesitated.
“…Yeah.”
“Then what exactly was the problem?” You asked. “Because to me this feels like you don’t trust me.”
He hesitated again…
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” You pressed.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip like he was searching for words that simply just refused to come.
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I just- seeing you with someone else like that made me feel weird… and I didn’t like it.”
Your anger softened, just a fraction.
“You don’t get to control me,” you said gently. “But you also don’t have to pretend you don’t feel things… I’m sorry.”
That made him flinch.
“Careful,” he said quietly. “You don’t want to open that door.”
You got up and stepped closer anyway.
“Why?” You asked. “Because then you’d have to admit this isn’t just ‘fun’ to you?”
His eyes snapped back to yours, and you could see the fear in his eyes, the hurt on his face… how he wanted to say what he was thinking so badly, but he was too scared. So instead he just scoffed again.
“We’re not talking about this right now.” He said, picking up his car keys from your desk.
Panic suddenly rose in your chest, and you shook your head.
“Noah, where are you-”
“I’m going out. I’ll be back to fix Garrett’s breaks at 2. But I can’t do this right now.”
And with that, he left.
Slowly, you sat back down at your desk, suddenly feeling like you’ve done something awful… but Noah’s been acting strange the last few days anyway. Maybe he was going through something? Maybe the stress from being overworked was getting to him? Maybe he-
No, stop overthinking it. Just wait until he comes back, then talk to him.
…
The rest of the day passed too slowly. Noah came back, just like he said he would- and right on time which surprised you the most. He fixed Garrett’s brakes without a word to you. He didn’t look at you at all for the rest of the day, not even once.
You told yourself it was fine. You told yourself he just needed space, you clearly upset him earlier which you felt terrible for- but you didn’t think he’d even care!
But every time you heard his boots cross the workshop floor, every time you caught the clink of his tools or the sound of him chatting with a customer, your heart sank just a little more.
You tried to stay focused on work. The usual- emails, invoices, phone calls… anything to keep your mind busy. But the silence between you was too loud and uncomfortable to ignore.
By the time the last customer finally left and the garage door rolled shut for the day, you were exhausted in the way that sleep wouldn’t fix.
You waited. Maybe now he’d come in. Maybe now he’d say something. Anything.
But he didn’t.
You heard him moving around the workshop, cleaning up, putting tools away. It felt like he was avoiding your office on purpose.
That was when it hit you, hard. Your throat felt tight, your vision blurred before you could stop it. You looked away from the doorway, and stared across the room instead… and without even realising it, your shoulders started to shake.
You hadn’t meant to cry. It just... happened.
You were silent at first, but then a sob slipped out that you couldn’t hold back. You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to keep it in, but the ache in your chest spilled over anyway. Every feeling tangled together- confusion, fear, guilt… you’ve never felt this way before.
Had you said the wrong thing? Had you pushed too hard?
You wiped at your cheeks angrily, frustrated with yourself. You weren’t someone who cried at work. You were supposed to be the responsible one. The one holding things together while Steve was gone.
Noah was just getting his things together, getting ready to leave through the back when he saw the light was still on in your office. And then he heard you sniffle. He heard the way your breath hitched like you were trying and failing to pull yourself back together.
His stomach dropped.
He stood there for a moment, frozen, one hand still resting against the doorframe. All that frustration he’d been feeling all day vanished instantly, replaced by something worse. Regret.
“Fuck…” He sighed under his breath.
He hadn’t meant to do this. He hadn’t meant to hurt you. He’d just… panicked. And instead of talking, he’d shut down, the only way he knew how. The only way he knew would protect his heart.
Slowly and carefully, like he was afraid he might spook you, he knocked once on the door to your office.
“Hey.” He said quietly.
You startled, wiping your face quickly and turning in your chair, mortified to be caught like this.
“I’m fine.” You said automatically despite him not asking, even though your voice cracked on the last word.
He didn’t call you out on the lie. Instead, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it like he needed the support.
“You don’t look fine.” He said gently.
That was all it took for your composure to completely shatter.
“I don’t understand what I did wrong,” you said, your voice breaking as fresh tears spilled over. “You wouldn’t talk to me. You wouldn’t even look at me all day, Noah.”
His eyes softened as he swallowed, feeling guilty himself now.
“I know,” he said. “And I’m sorry.”
You shook your head, frustrated.
“If it's about earlier, I told you I was just doing my job. I wasn’t trying to make you jealous or hurt you or-” you sniffled, “-or make you feel like you didn’t matter. Because you do, Noah. You know you do. You know I don’t want some random guy, you’re stupid for even thinking that!”
He crossed the room in three long steps, frowning as he crouched beside you.
“I know,” he said, “I know I’m stupid for feeling jealous, I’m stupid for upsetting you-”
“Noah I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know.” He said gently, and before he could say anything else, you wiped your cheeks and faced him.
“I didn’t think it would make you feel like that. I was just being polite, I swear.”
“I know,” he said again, “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. And you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to me… it’s just strange because I’ve never cared like this before. When guys would flirt with the girls I was seeing it never bothered me... ever.”
He let out a sound that sounded like a laugh, yet there was no humour in it.
“But today… that guy scared the shit out of me.”
Your heart skipped.
“It scared you?”
Noah nodded his head as he took in a long breath.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “Because all of a sudden it made me realise… I could be replaced. I could lose you… you’ve never been with another guy, so of course you’ll want to flirt back and see where things could lead.” He dragged a hand over his face as he thought about his next words. “I don’t do jealousy, I don’t do attachment. I’m used to just having fun with no strings, knowing that things will never go further than sex… but with you… I don’t know, it just messes with my head. I don’t know what the fuck is happening.” He let out a chuckle, and your chest ached.
“Noah…”
“I didn’t mean to shut you out today. I didn’t mean to be cold,” he continued, “I just didn’t know what else to do, or how to deal with what I felt. I didn’t recognise myself, and it just freaked me out.”
You reached your hand out, cupping Noah's face. He was still crouched to your level, one hand bracing himself against your desk for support.
“Noah… I would never try to make you feel like you don’t matter. You might be an ass sometimes, but you matter so much more than I think you realise.”
For a long moment he didn’t say anything. He just leaned into your palm, almost like a puppy would. He just looked at you, his eyes dark and conflicted, like they were full of everything he’d been holding back.
Then when he spoke again, his voice was softer.
“I’ve never ever cared about anyone the way I care about you.”
The words came out quiet, but your heart thudded hard in your chest.
“I didn’t even know I could care this much.” He confessed, “I’ve only ever done one night stands and hookups… no one could ever hurt me that way… so that’s how I know this is definitely something more- but I know the other day at lunch you told your friends you don’t want a relationship, and I don’t want to be that guy that pushes-”
Your chest ached at that, and when your eyes softened he looked away, his jaw flexing like he was bracing himself.
“That pushes for something you’ve already said you don’t want. I don't want to trap you,” he went on. “Or make you feel like you owe me anything. I’ve had people walk away the second I mentioned things being serious in the past, and I…” He exhaled sharply through his nose. “I don’t think I could handle you doing that.”
“Noah-” You said softly, but he shook his head.
“Just… let me finish, yeah?” His voice cracked just a little. “Because this is really hard for me to say.”
He swallowed, his throat bobbing as you nodded.
“When I heard you say that… that you didn’t want a relationship,” he admitted, “It felt like I’d already lost you. Like I’d imagined something that wasn’t real, and I’d been stupid enough to believe you felt it too.”
Your eyes burned.
“I thought maybe you were just having fun,” he continued. “That I was a phase, and one day you’ll realise you can do so much better. And if that’s true…” He shrugged helplessly. “Then I don’t get to be angry about it. I don’t get to feel jealous or scared or hurt.”
He looked back at you then, his eyes shining too.
“But I do feel it. All of it. And I don’t know how to make it stop.”
Silence stretched between you, you were trying to figure out how to say what you were thinking.. but you weren’t sure. So you blurted it out anyway.
“I didn’t say that because it’s what I want,” you whispered. “I said it because I thought it was what you wanted to hear.”
“What?” He frowned.
You let out a shaky laugh that turned into something more like a sob.
“You’ve always acted like relationships are a joke, like feelings are just a liability or something,” you said. “And I didn’t want to scare you away. I didn’t want to be the girl who wanted too much either.” You blinked, tears finally spilling over again. “So yeah, I lied. I played it cool. I said the thing that felt safest.”
Noah stared at you, stunned.
“You don’t…?” He started, then stopped himself, his voice barely audible. “You didn’t mean it?”
You shook your head again, more firmly this time.
“I’m terrified,” you admitted. “I’ve never done this before. You know I’ve never dated anyone... but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. It just means I don’t know how to go about it without feeling like my heart’s on the line.”
“You should’ve told me.” He whispered.
“I know,” you said. “But you should’ve told me too.”
A quiet, breathless laugh escaped him.
“So it looks like we’re both idiots here.” He smiled
“Seems that way.” That smiled back through your tears.
You cupped his face in both your hands now, and he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes closing for a moment like the tension had finally drained out of him.
“I don’t need labels right this second,” he said softly. “I don’t need anything figured out just yet, I know that’s a lot for you and me but… I just need to know I’m not alone in this.”
You lifted your head just enough to look at him.
“You’re not.”
His shoulders sagged at that, relief washing over him.
“Okay,” he whispered. “Good… I can work with that.”
You both stayed like this for a moment, breathing in each other. Your heart was racing, and his was too, and there were words sitting heavy on your tongue.
Three of them.
You knew he felt it too. You could tell by the way his breathing changed, like he was bracing himself for something.
You pulled back just enough to look at him. Noah’s mouth parted, then closed again. His jaw tightened. He swallowed.
Say it, you both thought. Say something.
“I-” he started, then stopped, a quiet laugh escaping him, full of more nerves than humour. “God.”
You smiled softly, tears still clinging to your lashes.
“What?” You whispered.
He shook his head, eyes searching yours like he couldn’t believe you were real.
“It’s just…” He exhaled slowly. “It’s right there. And I’ve never been this scared of a word in my life.”
Your chest ached. You knew exactly what he meant, and you felt the exact same.
“Me too.” You admitted.
Silence settled again but this time it was not awkward, it was just heavy with everything you weren’t saying, but you could almost hear it between you in the silence.
I love you.
I love you.
Your lips brushed his, but you didn't kiss him. He rested his forehead against yours again, his voice barely audible as he spoke again.
“Can we not say it yet?” He asked.
You nodded, a soft smile on your lips.
“Yeah,” you whispered. “I say it to my friends all the time, but I think it'd make me cry if we said it.”
He let out a soft breath of relief, a little smile tugging at his mouth too.
"...I've never said those words to anybody before."
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
ehh i still don't know if i like this chapter, it was going to be 90% smut but i just haven't been in the mood to write it :( ...but the clubbing one is coming next so 😛
ICE murdered a woman in Minneapolis today. Her name was Renee Good.
Renee Good was a queer white woman, a mother and a wife. She was a US citizen. But too many stories are making sure to include the details of her citizenship first and foremost, even before her name,as if it makes a difference, as if it would have been more understandable or more acceptable if the woman that ICE murdered was an immigrant, documented or otherwise. As if her citizenship should provoke us to a higher level of outrage. 
Of course it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.
When you talk about the death of Renee Good, talk about her by her name. Talk about her courage in being a bystander interventionist and observer of the lawless behavior of the armed agents engaging in an ethnic cleansing campaign in our country. Talk about her family that is left behind after this wanton act of murder. Talk about her as a role model and inspiration for all of us.
But don't talk about Renee Good as a US citizen. It doesn't matter. It's beneath mention. 
Series summary: Nearly a year after Noah quit fighting, a suspicious death pulls him back into the underground scene, and this time, the truth may cost him everything.
Tw: violence
Series mastelist
The waiting room was quiet. Noah sat with his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped loosely, gaze fixed on a spot on the carpet that had been worn thinner than the rest.
He hated this part. The waiting. The thinking.
“Sebastian?” the receptionist called gently.
He stood immediately, shoulders squaring out of habit, and followed her down the hall. Same corridor. Same neutral colors. Same faint smell of coffee and antiseptic.
Dr. Morgan’s door was already open.
“Hi, Noah,” she greeted him warmly, rising from her chair. “Come in.”
He nodded once and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. The office, of course, hadn’t changed from last week: the large window letting in pale daylight, the bookshelf filled with psychology texts and a few personal items, the armchair he always took on the left, the other in front of it.
He sat, resting his forearms on his thighs, fingers interlaced.
Dr. Morgan took her seat across from him, notebook balanced on her knee, pen ready but not moving yet.
“How have you been since our last session?” she asked.
There it was. The question that always opened the door.
“I’ve been okay,” Noah said.
Lie number one.
Dr. Morgan didn’t react, just nodded slightly. “Okay can mean a lot of things. Physically? Emotionally?”
He hesitated for half a second too long. He knew she noticed. She always did.
“Physically, I’m fine,” he said. “Sleeping’s been… alright.”
Lie number two. He thought of the tears soaked into the pillow. Of the way his chest had tightened in his sleep. Of waking up exhausted without remembering why.
He knew.
“Any nightmares?” she asked gently.
His jaw tightened before he could stop it. He forced himself to relax, rolling his shoulders back. “Not really,” he said. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
Lie number three.
Dr. Morgan studied him over the rim of her glasses. “You say that often,” she noted. “Handling something doesn’t always mean it isn’t affecting you.”
He nodded like he agreed. Because in theory, he did.
“Have you had any intrusive thoughts?” she continued. “Flashbacks? Memories?”
Images flickered through his mind without permission. The ring. Blood on the mat. Elijah’s name on the news.
“No,” he said. “Not more than usual.”
Lie number four.
Dr. Morgan made a small note. The pen scratched softly against paper. The sound made his stomach twist.
“And how are things at home?” she asked. “With your partner?”
That one hurt more than the others.
“She’s good,” he said immediately. “Work’s been busy for her, but she's really good at it and she loves it. But yeah… everything's okay.”
Lie number five. Or maybe a half-lie. You were strong. You always were. But he knew what this was doing to you.
Dr. Morgan smiled faintly. “You sound proud.”
He let out a breath through his nose. “I am.”
“She’s an important support system for you,” the psychologist said. “How are you managing that dynamic? Last week you talked about how sometimes you feel like a burden. Would you like to talk about it again?”
“I don’t feel like a burden,” he said too quickly. “I just… don’t want to put more on her than she already carries.”
That part was true.
Dr. Morgan tilted her head slightly. “And are you succeeding at that?”
He didn’t answer right away.
In his head, he saw you in the crowd. Saw your face the second someone stepped into the ring. Saw the way you tried to be brave for him, even when fear sat heavy in your eyes. He knew—knew—that if he fought one of Costa’s men, he would get hurt. Maybe badly. He wasn’t stupid. He’d seen the difference in strength, in speed. And he knew exactly what that would do to you.
The thought of you watching him bleed made his stomach churn.
“I think so,” he said finally.
Dr. Morgan watched him closely. “You seem tense today, Noah.”
He forced a small shrug. “Just a rough week.”
“Anything specific you want to talk about?” she offered. “Any events that stood out?”
Yes. Everything.
“No,” he said. “Nothing new.”
Lie number six.
She closed her notebook gently, resting her hands on it. “I want to remind you,” she said, “that this space only works if you’re honest. Especially with yourself.”
He nodded. “I know.”
He did know. And that was the problem.
If he told her the truth, that he was going back to fighting, that he suspected Elijah hadn’t killed himself, that there was a man named Costa whose fighters looked almost inhuman, she would call him crazy and then call the police.
And maybe she’d be right.
But he didn’t have a choice.
He couldn’t sit still knowing something was wrong. He couldn’t ignore the pattern. And he couldn’t leave it to someone else, not when he knew the cost of doing nothing.
Then, they talked about lighter things, and Noah appreciated that.
The session wrapped up shortly after that. Polite and professional.
When he stepped back outside, the air felt colder than it should have. He stood there for a moment, hands in his pockets, staring at nothing.
His mind was already racing, preparing for the night that was about to come.
He was scared of so many things.
It was a mess. And he was walking straight into it.
That evening, you went back to the fighting pit.
Earlier than the night before.
The sky was already dark when you parked, but the area around the building was still mostly quiet, with no clusters of people smoking outside, no raised voices.
You walked in together, the heavy door creaking as it opened. Inside, the space felt larger without the crowd, emptier and colder. The lights above were on, casting white circles on the stained floor, but only a handful of people were there. Someone was mopping dried blood from the floor like it was just another spill to clean up, someone was drinking in a corner.
The bar was open.
Behind it stood a young bartender you didn’t recognize from before. He looked barely out of his teens, brown hair, tired eyes, movements still a little stiff, like he hadn’t learned yet how to fully belong to a place like this. You caught yourself wondering how he’d ended up here. What kind of choices had led him behind this counter.
He looked up when you approached.
His gaze stopped on Noah and he nodded once.
Noah took a seat on one of the stools, resting his forearms on the counter. You stood close beside him, your hand brushing his arm.
“Hey,” Noah said casually. “Can I ask you something, man?”
The bartender hesitated for just a second, then nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”
Noah kept his tone light. “You have any idea who I’m fighting tonight?”
The bartender glanced around instinctively, even though the room was nearly empty. He lowered his voice. “Uh… yeah. Kind of.”
“What do you mean, kind of?” you asked gently.
The bartender leaned closer over the counter. “Yesterday, Dean got into it with one of the bosses about your match.”
“What?”
“Yeah,” the kid said. “They wanted to put you up against one of Costa’s guys.”
Noah didn’t react outwardly, but you felt his arm tense beneath your fingers.
“And?” he asked.
The bartender huffed quietly. “Dean wasn’t having it. Said it wasn’t smart. Bad marketing and all that.” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “First match back after a long break? He said you needed someone more… manageable. Easier. Build the hype again.”
“So I’m not fighting one of Costa’s men tonight,” he said, more like a statement than a question.
The bartender shook his head. “Not tonight. At least, that’s how it sounded.”
Relief and dread twisted together in your chest.
“Thanks,” you said sincerely. “For telling us.”
The bartender gave a small shrug, uncomfortable with the gratitude. “Yeah. No problem.”
Noah slid off the stool. “Appreciate it, really.”
As you turned away from the bar, you caught one last look at the kid behind the counter, too young and already learning how to survive in a place that chewed people up.
You walked toward the back hallway together, the one that led to the locker rooms.
The sounds of the main room dulled behind you, replaced by the echo of footsteps.
Noah pushed the door open, and you followed him inside.
The locker room was dim, lit by a few buzzing fluorescent lights that made everything look a little sickly. Benches lined the walls, their surfaces scarred with old cuts and stains that no amount of scrubbing had ever fully erased.
Noah dropped his bag onto one of the benches and started unpacking methodically. Tape. Wraps. A change of clothes. His movements were calm, muscle memory taking over where his thoughts didn’t want to go.
You stayed close, leaning against the opposite bench, arms crossed.
After a moment, you spoke. “Why do you think Dean pushed back on the match?”
Noah snorted softly, not looking up. “Money.”
You frowned. “Just money?”
“When isn’t it?” he replied, finally glancing at you. His expression was flat. “Dean doesn’t give a shit about fighters. Or safety. He cares about what fills his pockets.”
You shook your head slightly. “I don’t know. I’m not convinced.”
He paused, hands stilling for a second. “Why not?”
You pushed off the bench and took a few steps closer. “Because what does he actually gain from protecting you? Putting you against an easier opponent doesn’t suddenly make him richer. If anything, a big shocking match, especially against one of Costa’s men, would draw more attention.”
He wrapped tape around his knuckles a little too tightly, then loosened it with a sharp tug. “Or maybe he just doesn’t want me getting wrecked on my first night back.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Do you really believe that?”
Noah let out a short, humorless laugh. “No.”
Silence settled between you for a moment.
“What if it’s not about money?” you said carefully.
“So what, Dean’s suddenly got principles? If you think he cares about me, you're wrong.”
“No,” you said softly. “But maybe he knows more than he’s letting on.”
Noah rubbed a hand over his face, tired.
“Whatever his reasons are, they matter. Because if he’s avoiding putting you against Costa’s men right now… it means there’s a reason to avoid them.”
Noah swallowed, eyes dropping to the floor and he didn't add anything else.
Then, you noticed the way his fingers twitched slightly, almost imperceptibly, as he stared at the floor. The tape around his knuckles was wound tight and his hand shook once, like his body was quietly asking for relief before his pride could stop it.
You stepped closer.
He looked up at you, a little startled, then followed your gaze to his hand.
“Tight?”
He hesitated, then exhaled through his nose. “…Yeah.”
“Give it to me,” you said, already reaching out.
He let you take his hand. His skin was warm, rough, familiar. You carefully loosened the tape, slow and precise, your fingers brushing his knuckles, his palm. You rewound it properly.
He watched you quietly.
“There,” you murmured. “Better?”
He flexed his fingers once. “Yeah,” he said, “Thanks.”
Before he could pull his hand back, you lifted it slightly and pressed a gentle kiss to his wrapped knuckles.
You didn’t say anything.
Then you took his other hand.
You wrapped that one too, thumbs brushing over the back of his hand. When you were done, you kissed it again, just as softly.
“For luck,” you whispered.
Noah let out a quiet laugh, soft and brief, and you smiled back. You stayed there beside him on the bench longer than it felt like you should have. Then a voice cut through the door, loud and impatient.
“Sebastian, you've got five minutes!” Noah straightened instantly, the fighter slipping back into place. You stood too.
It was the moment for him to fight and for you to asks questions.
“Be careful,” you whispered againt his lips when le leaned down. “You more,” he murmured before quickly kissing you.
Then he turned, and you followed him outside.
Noah stepped into the designated fighting area with the same controlled calm you remembered all too well, and people started shouting and cheering. It wasn’t a real ring, just a rough square marked on the floor, surrounded by bodies, and hungry eyes but the concept was the same. The crowd shifted as he moved forward, and someone screamed “Sebastian's back!”
His opponent was already there. Shorter than Noah, but stockier, shoulders wide and quite muscular. You’d seen Noah fight men bigger and probably stronger than this, but that didn’t make the knot in your stomach disappear.
You made your way to the bar. From there, you could still see everything.
Noah rolled his shoulders once, muscles moving under his black tank top, loose and ready, eyes locked on the man across from him.
Someone near the edge of the crowd shouted, loud and impatient.
“Go!”
And just like that, it started.
The other man lunged first, fast and aggressive, swinging wide with a heavy right. Noah stepped back just in time, shoes scraping against the floor, his guard snapping up instinctively. The crowd reacted immediately with shouts, whistles and sharp intakes of breath as fists met air instead of flesh.
Noah circled, light on his feet, testing distance. The other fighter pressed forward, throwing another punch, then another, trying to corner him early. Noah blocked one, ducked under the next, countered with a quick jab to the ribs, just enough to warn him.
You watched every movement, heart in your throat.
Then, out of the corner of your eye, something else pulled your attention.
Costa.
He stood near the far wall, half in shadow, posture relaxed but alert. He was speaking quietly with a man you hadn’t seen before, tall, lean, with a short beard tinged red, and sharp eyes. They leaned in close, heads inclined toward each other, voices low enough that even standing closer you wouldn’t have heard them.
Costa nodded once.
Then he straightened.
Your gaze followed him as he turned away from the fight entirely. He walked with confidence, weaving through the edge of the crowd, never looking back at the ring. He reached the door leading to the locker rooms and disappeared behind it without a second glance.
You looked back at Noah just once more.
He was mid-exchange now, blocking a strike and answering with a sharp elbow, completely locked in and focused.
You swallowed.
Then you slid off the barstool, heart pounding, and followed Costa toward the back.
You opened the door slowly, carefully, easing it shut behind you until it clicked softly into place, the noise of the crowd reduced to a distant, muffled roar. You didn’t see Costa immediately, the last section of the locker room was partially hidden by a thick concrete wall, creating a blind corner.
So you moved quietly, placing yourself just behind that wall, pressing your back to it, holding your breath.
At first, you only heard a low murmur. Then you realized Costa was speaking on the phone.
Not English.
For a split second, you thought it might be Spanish, but then you caught the sharper consonants, the cadence shifting into something else entirely.
Italian.
You didn’t understand the words. Costa’s voice was low and controlled.
“Sì, sì. Ha accettato.”
A pause.
“Esatto. Non possiamo permettere che succeda di nuovo, ma lui sembra sicuro.”
Another pause, longer this time.
“Verrà da te nei prossimi giorni. Prepara tutto se non lo hai già fatto.”
Your fingers curled against the wall. Whatever this was, it had been planned. Carefully.
You heard the faint sound of the call ending.
You waited for silence.
It didn’t come.
Instead, another voice joined him, close.
“Are you sure?” Costa said, now in English, his accent heavy. “There’s no turning back.”
“I’m sure,” the second voice replied. Male and not familiar. “I’m tired of losing.”
A beat.
“Very good,” Costa said simply.
Your breath caught.
You shifted your weight without meaning to, and your elbow brushed against a loose wooden panel fixed to the wall.
It creaked.
Not loud. But loud enough.
“Did you hear that?” Costa said sharply.
Your heart slammed against your ribs.
Before you could move, before you could even think, a hand clamped firmly over your mouth from behind. Warm. Solid. A body pressed close to yours, blocking you in completely. You froze instantly, fear locking every muscle in place. You didn’t struggle. You didn’t make a sound.
Not with Costa just a few feet away.
Not with this unknown presence at your back.
An arm wrapped around your waist and, in one smooth motion, you were pulled backward, guided quickly and silently away. The locker room door opened and shut again before you even realized you’d moved.
Suddenly, noise crashed back over you.
Shouting. Cheering. The match.
You were back in the main room, swallowed by the crowd as if you’d never left.
You twisted sharply, ripping yourself out of the grip holding you, and then you saw him.
“Dean?” you breathed.
He looked down at you, eyes sharp, jaw tight.
“I just saved your life,” he muttered. “You were about to get yourself murdered with absolutely zero survival instincts.”
Your pulse was still racing, ears ringing.
“What—” you started.
Dean didn’t let you finish. “Follow me. Now.”
He turned immediately, already moving through the crowd.
“We need to talk.”
You cast one last look toward the ring before following Dean.
Noah was still on his feet, breathing hard but controlled, movements precise. You could tell, because you knew him, that he was holding back. Striking clean, efficient, avoiding unnecessary damage. Protecting himself. Protecting the other man. It only made your chest hurt more.
Then you turned away and followed Dean through the side exit.
Outside, the noise dropped off sharply, replaced by the hollow quiet of the parking lot. A solitary light flickered above, its weak glow spilling over the jagged cracks in the asphalt. Dean stopped near the edge of the lot and turned to face you.
“What do you want?” you demanded. “And what the fuck just happened back there?”
Dean studied you for a moment, like he was deciding how much to say. Then he sighed.
“You came back for the guy who died,” he said, “Didn’t you?”
You hesitated for just a second. “We came back because Noah wanted to fight.” You lied.
Dean let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Bullshit.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and tapped it against the box. “Noah wouldn’t come back here after finally building a life outside this place. Not unless something dragged him back. Even I know that.”
He lit the cigarette, inhaled slowly. Smoke curled into the cold air between you.
“There’s something wrong here,” he continued. “You can believe me or not, but I’m trying to help you.”
You crossed your arms. “How am I supposed to know you’re not setting us up?”
“You can’t,” he admitted without hesitation. “But we both know someone died. And they called it a suicide when it wasn’t.”
Your breath caught. “So you think that too.”
Dean’s expression darkened. “I’ve seen things working here. Fighters who suddenly got better. Guys who stopped losing overnight.” He took another drag. “I don’t want to talk about it here. Not with ears everywhere.”
He reached into his jacket again and held out a small, folded piece of paper.
“If you and Noah want some answers,” he said, “call me. So we can meet somewhere safe.”
You took the paper, fingers brushing his. His number was scrawled across it in rushed handwriting.
There was a moment of silence.
Then a door behind you slammed open.
You both turned just in time to see Noah’s opponent being shoved outside by two men, barely upright, blood on his lip and knuckles scraped raw.
Noah had won.
You looked back at Dean.
“Go,” he said quietly, nodding toward the door. “Go find your boyfriend. And remember what I said.”
You hesitated for a second, wanting to ask more, to be sure of what you were going to do, but you couldn’t.
Then you turned and went back inside, slipping Dean’s number into your pocket.
Could you really trust him? You asked yourself.
What if it was all a trap?
But then again, was that why he’d pushed for Noah to fight someone other than one of Costa’s men? Because he knew there was something wrong? Because he knew it wasn’t safe?
Did Dean actually have a line he wouldn’t cross? One that had appeared too late, years too late, but was still there?
After everything that had happened, after he didn't do anything to prevent Tyler's death years ago, could he still be considered someone worth trusting?
You pushed your way through the crowd, barely registering the noise around you anymore. Shouts, groans, and the scrape of bodies moving aside all blurred as soon as you saw him.
Noah was stepping out of the designated ring area, chest rising and falling hard, sweat running down his temples, knuckles wrapped and stained. His shoulders were tense, but he was upright. Breathing. Standing.
Fine.
You crossed the place and reached him before he could even look up properly, arms wrapping around his neck without thinking, pressing yourself into him. For a split second he froze, surprised, then his arms came around you, strong, pulling you in like he’d been holding himself together just long enough to do exactly this and melt into you.
“Hey,” he murmured, voice low and rough near your ear.
You buried your face against his shoulder, breathing him in, his sweat, heat, shampoo, everything.
For a moment, the rest of the world fell away. No Costa. No Dean. No questions, no fear, no plans waiting to explode. Just the two of you.
He rested his forehead briefly against the side of your head, eyes closed. “I was looking for you, I didn't see you here anymore and I was scared something happened.”
“I’m here,” you said softly.
You stayed pressed against him for a few more seconds, letting the heat from his body chase away some of the tension that had been coiling in your chest all night.
Noah finally pulled back just enough for you to see his face. He brushed a strand of hair from your face, thumb lingering for a moment. “We should get out of here,” he murmured.
You nodded against him, “Yeah,” you whispered. “Let’s go.”
He released you fully, and together, you made your way toward the locker room door. The space was quiet now; Costa and whoever he was with, were gone.
Noah quickly showered and chanced his clothes.
You checked the fighter from earlier. He stumbled to his feet, rubbing at a split lip and scraped knuckles, but he was already moving toward the alley exit. He’d survive.
The walk to the car was silent. Outside, the night air was cool.
Finally, far from anyone who might have been listening, you sat down with Noah and carefully told him everything that had happened as you drove home. He listened quietly, without interrupting, as you went over what you had heard in the locker room and then explained your conversation with Dean.
Noah stayed quiet for a long moment after you finished.
“That’s a terrible idea,” he said finally, voice low and flat. “Trusting Dean is a terrible idea.”
You exhaled slowly, watching the condensation fade on the glass. “I knew you’d say that.”
“He runs that place,” Noah went on, turning his head to look at you. “Or at least helps run it. He’s been part of the rot for years. You don’t just wake up one day and decide you’re the good guy.”
“He is not one of the bosses and you know it. He works there but he has to follow their orders. And I’m not saying he’s suddenly a saint,” you said. “I’m saying he didn’t sound like he was lying.”
Noah scoffed quietly. “He is not a good guy.”
“I know,” you said gently. “And I’m not forgetting that. But tonight? He pulled me out of that room. He didn’t have to. If this was a trap, why warn me at all?”
Noah stared ahead again.
“He could be playing a longer game,” he said. “Getting close, I don't know.”
“Maybe,” you admitted. “But he also said the same thing we’ve been thinking. That what happened wasn’t a suicide. That fighters are changing. Getting better overnight.” You paused. “That’s not something he needed to say unless he actually believes it.”
Silence stretched between you.
“And he kept you away from Costa’s men,” you added quietly. “What if he already knew something was wrong and didn’t want you anywhere near it yet?”
Noah’s shoulders rose and fell with a slow breath. “Or maybe he just didn’t want trouble.”
“Or maybe he’s scared too,” you said. “Scared enough to finally draw a line.”
Noah shook his head, but there was less conviction in it now. “People like him don’t grow morals overnight.”
“No,” you agreed. “But they can understand when things are getting out of control.”
He was quiet again, eyes on the road, distant.
“What if he’s the only one willing to talk?” you asked softly. “What if he knows things we don’t? About Costa. About what’s really going on down there.”
Noah swallowed. “And what if meeting him puts you in danger?”
“We'll go together,” you said immediately. “We choose the place. And we listen what he has to say. That’s it.”
He turned toward you. “I don’t like this,” he said.
“I know,” you said. “But we both knew what we were getting into when we decided to do this.”
Another long pause.
Finally, Noah leaned back in his seat and ran a hand over his face, exhausted. “If we do this,” he said slowly, “we do it carefully. One meeting, and the second it feels wrong, we’re out.”
You nodded. “Agreed.”
He glanced at you again, softer this time. “And you don’t go anywhere without telling me. Ever.”
“I won’t,” you said.
The car fell quiet again.
That night, you were already in bed when you heard him moving around in the bathroom. The soft sound of running water, the clink of the sink handle, then the familiar sound of him brushing his teeth.
You lay on your side, sheets pulled up to your waist, watching the faint light under the bathroom door. When it finally opened, Noah stepped out barefoot, wearing a white t-shirt and shorts.
He crossed the room quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed beside you. As soon as he did, he rolled his shoulders back and let out a low groan, stretching his neck from side to side, then arching his back slightly like he was trying to work the tension out on his own.
“God,” he muttered under his breath.
You shifted closer without thinking. “Here,” you said softly.
Before he could answer, you placed your hands on his shoulders. They were warm, muscles still tight under your fingers. You pressed your thumbs in gently, working slow circles into the knots near his neck. He exhaled immediately, head dropping forward just a little.
“Mm,” he murmured. “That feels… really good.”
You smiled to yourself and kept going, fingers tracing familiar paths, easing the stiffness out of him inch by inch. “You carry everything up here,” you said quietly.
“Yeah,” he replied, voice rough. “Apparently I do.”
You massaged him for a moment in silence, the room calm, the only sounds his steady breathing and the creak of the mattress as he shifted under your touch.
After a bit, you leaned closer. “So,” you asked gently, “how was it? Fighting again.”
He didn’t answer right away. His shoulders lifted in a slow breath beneath your hands.
“It wasn’t… better than what I expected,” he said eventually. “But it wasn’t worse either.”
You pressed your thumbs a little deeper, feeling him tense and then relax again. “And?”
“And I’m rusty,” he admitted with a quiet huff. “Timing was off. I hesitated more than I should’ve. Took a couple hits I wouldn’t have before.” He tilted his head to the side, giving you better access. “Muscle memory’s still there, but it’s not sharp yet.”
“You still won,” you reminded him.
“Yeah,” he said. “I did.”
There was no pride in his voice. Just fact.
You leaned down and rested your chin briefly on his shoulder.
He turned his head slightly, eyes softening, and pressed a quick, gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. You chuckled, a light, quiet sound, and leaned back just a little, but then your eyes caught a faint purpling bruise was starting to form along his cheekbone, subtle but definitely there.
Your hand moved instinctively to his face, fingertips brushing over the tender skin. “Did you use anything for this?” you asked softly.
“I put some gel I found in the bathroom on it,” he admitted. “I knew you’d give me hell if I said I didn’t.”
“Smart,” you murmured with a little smile, leaning in to kiss just under the bruise, soft and careful.
He let out a quiet hum, closing his eyes for a second, tilting his head into your touch.
After a moment, you both shifted, sliding under the covers together. Noah rested his head against your chest, your hand settling lightly on his shoulder. His breathing slowed, evened out, and you felt him relax fully, finally letting the tension of the night and the fight melt away.
You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes completely, pressing a little closer.
You drifted off to sleep a few minutes later, your hand still resting gently in Noah’s hair.
warnings: :( mentions of a character being in hospital after having a heart attack (and i'm not a doctor so i don't know too much about that </3) this is just a pretty soft chapter, but that won't be the case in the next one hehehe (also nsfw refrences throughout but that should be a given at this point LMAO)
i'm actually really proud of this chapter <3 i think i've finally planned this story all the way to the end now which i don't know how to feel about, because i'm NEVER letting mechanic!noah go :( but there's still plenty to come! it's nowhere near finished yet hehe :)
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Noah stayed with you for Christmas, but you stayed with him for new years. He told you his friends were throwing a party, and he wanted you to come with him. Usually, you’d spend new years eve with Jess and Maya, sitting in Jess’ living room in your pyjamas, drinking wine and watching movies, gossipping and giggling whilst you waited for midnight to strike.
It felt strange celebrating without them.
Jess didn’t care, she told you to have a great time and to stay safe. She was spending the night with Sam and his family… it was just Maya you were worrying about. She was still acting really weird, you tried not to think about it too much, but she didn’t even reply to your “merry christmas!” text you had sent last week. She hadn’t even opened the message.
You were starting to wonder if you had done anything lately to piss her off… but surely not?
Noah told you not to think about it tonight though. You had gotten ready at his place, turning the desk in his room into your vanity table whilst Noah played music on his tv. You both got through a bottle of vodka before even getting in the taxi to take you to Davis’ place.
By the time you got there, you and Noah were already pretty drunk, giggling as you stumbled out of the car. The house was packed, which was no surprise. The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume hung in the air as you wandered through the house, being guided along by Noah until one of his friends spotted him.
“There he is!” Someone yelled, and suddenly Noah was being pulled into hugs and fist bumps and loud greetings. You stayed close, keeping your arm looped around his, not wanting to be separated from him in an unfamiliar place.
“This is my friend y/n.” Noah announced proudly to anyone who looked in your direction, his hand settling on your lower back as his friends grinned, starting conversations with you.
“Wow, you’re real!” One of them said, “We honestly thought you were imaginary… Noah’s never been with the same girl for so long! They usually get sick of him after two days!”
Noah scoffed, trying to play it off but you couldn’t help but look up at him with soft eyes. You could never get sick of him…
At some point, you and Noah headed to the kitchen to get another drink. It was a little quieter in there, and a lot less crowded. You stayed there for a while just to chat, occasionally someone else would walk in and start a conversation with Noah, and he’d always make sure to involve you so you weren’t standing there awkwardly.
After his friend- you think his name was Jolly- walked back off, Noah couldn’t help but just look at you, his eyes soft and half lidded from the amount of alcohol in his system.
You turned your head when you felt like you were being watched, smiling up at him.
“What?” You asked when you noticed the look on his face.
He just shook his head, smiling softly.
“Nothing,” he said, “Just… have I ever told you how pretty you are?”
You snorted.
“You’re drunk, Noah.”
“Mm, doesn’t make me a liar though.”
You don’t remember exactly when, but you and Noah joined his friends out in the garden. The guys were passing a joint around, and you shook your head when Noah offered it to you, he made no fuss, passing it on to Davis.
You leaned closer, swaying a little as you clutched his arm. Noah noticed, and he shrugged his jacket off, setting it down on the damp grass and pulled you down with him until you were both sitting- but Noah lost balance, tipping sideways and almost ending up in your lap as you both burst into a little fit of laughter.
“Oh my god,” you giggled, your fingers running through his hair, “Noah, we’re such a mess.”
“You’re a mess, babe,” Noah smirked, “I’m perfectly fine!”
You swatted his chest as Nicholas appeared, chuckling and leaning down as he passed the joint back into Noah’s hand. You watched him take a lazy drag before letting it hand loosely in his fingers, and- fuck… all you could think about was climbing into his lap and-
You grabbed his face in your hands, your fingers warm against his cold cheeks, and before he could even react you pulled him down into a kiss. It was messy, desperate and drunk, your teeth clashing, noses bumping, the both of you laughing against each other's lips. You didn’t care about the people around you, you didn’t care about Noah’s friends… you just cared about him. And fuck you wanted him.
Davis laughed, taking the joint back from Noah who was holding it out with his free hand, his other grabbing your waist. He smelled like cologne and vodka and weed, but you couldn’t help but pull him closer until your back hit the cold, damp grass. Noah followed you without hesitation, bracing himself above you… until his arm slipped and he landed on top of you.
“Noah!” You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pushed himself back up and continued to kiss you like the world around you didn’t exist…
You weren’t sure how long you were doing this for, but it wasn’t long before his friends hurried inside, ready to start counting down to the new year.
“Ten!”
The kisses turned slower, hotter, more passionate. He moved his jacket over so you weren’t laying on the wet grass, though it was too late, you could feel the cold through the fabric of your clothes. One of his knees slid between your thighs as he leaned back down, and your hips instinctively rocked against it, making your breath hitch.
“Nine!”
You tangled your fingers into his hair, tugging enough to make him groan into your mouth. His forehead dropped to yours for a second so you could both catch your breath, your noses brushing.
Eight!
“God, you’re gonna kill me.” Noah whispered breathlessly against your lips.
“Shut up.” You giggled, pulling him back in.
Seven!
More people started to cheer and count down, the music suddenly getting quieter, not that the two of you noticed.
Six!
Noah shifted again, a little unsteady, he was so fucking far gone. But this wasn’t from the weed and alcohol, this was from you.
Five!
Four!
THREE!
You wrapped your legs around his waist without thinking, and his hand slipped under your top, his cold hands feeling the warmth of your bare skin.
TWO!
ONE!
Suddenly, fireworks started to explode above you, bright and colourful. The sound of them made you both jump, and Noah pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes wide, the colour of the fireworks reflecting off his face.
“Oh shit,” he laughed breathlessly, glancing up at the sky and then back down at you, “Guess we missed the countdown.”
He leaned back down, pressing his forehead against yours again, his thumb brushing your cheek surprisingly gentle.
“Happy new year.” He said softly, just for you.
You smiled up at him, your heart pounding, the fireworks still going off above you.
“Happy new year, Noah.” You whispered back.
You don’t remember a thing that happened after that. The next thing you know, you were waking up to a pounding headache in a bed that wasn’t yours, with a bitter, sour taste in your mouth. You had no memory of leaving the party, no memory of the car ride home or the stairs or getting into bed, but here you were, laying beside Noah, in his bedroom.
You groaned quietly and squeezed your eyes shut, but then you felt warmth pressed against your back. His arm reached out, wrapping around your waist and pulling you toward him with a sleepy grunt.
Then you looked down. You weren’t in your clothes, you were in his hoodie. You could tell by the way your lashes felt clumped that you were still in last night's makeup, and your hair felt like a tangled mess too.
Your hand slid down to rest over Noah’s that was splayed against your stomach over his hoodie. You listened to his breathing for a moment, how slow and even it was. His face was buried somewhere behind your shoulder, you could feel the warmth of his breath through the hoodie.
Whatever happened last night, whatever you forgot, it couldn’t have been bad. You trusted Noah more than anybody, even drunk, even high, you knew he would take care of you. So you smiled softly, letting your eyes fall shut again and letting yourself relax into him, drifting back off again.
…
“Are you sure you don’t want anything? I could just make you some plain, dry toast?” Noah asked, standing shirtless in his kitchen, his hair a little messy, his grey sweats hanging low on his hips. If you didn’t feel like shit right now, you’d be climbing him like a tree.
You shook your head, your hands wrapped around the warm coffee mug in your hands.
“Even the thought makes me feel like I’m gonna…” You couldn’t finish the sentence, shaking your head.
“Babe, how are you hungover?” Noah chuckled, “Can’t handle your drink, huh?”
“Shut up.” You shot him a glare, but it lacked any bite. You felt too frail.
He leaned down and kissed your forehead as he wandered past you, leaving you sitting at the dining table whilst he plugged his phone into the charger by the tv.
Then he said your name.
“Yeah?” You answered, turning your head, squinting at the light that was pouring in from the windows in the living room.
“Your phone's ringing.”
“‘M not answering it,” you groaned, waving a hand, “It can wait.”
“...it says Linda. Isn’t that Steve’s wife?”
Linda?
She never calls… it’s always Steve.
You shot up, your coffee spilling over the rim as you slammed it down on to the table and rushed over to answer your phone. Noah’s brows drew together in panic and confusion.
“Aunt Linda?” You said, your heart pounding even as you tried to stay calm, “Is everything okay?”
There was a short pause before she spoke.
“Oh sweetheart…” her voice cracked as she spoke, then she sniffled before continuing, “There’s been… there’s been a bit of a fright.”
Noah must’ve sensed what was happening, as he moved closer, his hand resting carefully on your back.
“...what happened?”
“Your uncle,” she said before taking a deep breath, “He… he had a heart attack last night.”
You froze. Physically froze. You felt the warmth in your veins turn to ice, you felt your head spin- and it wasn’t from the alcohol this time. You felt your heart sink to the ground.
“W-what?” You whispered, your hand holding the phone shaking.
“He’s stable now, darling,” she explained, “He’s in hospital, everything seems to be okay. They caught it early, but he’s got to stay in for a while just so the doctors can check on him. We were supposed to come home today, but it seems that won’t be happening now…”
You couldn’t breathe properly. You collapsed down on Noah's couch, your legs too weak to support you anymore..
“...a heart attack?” You repeated, still trying to process everything, “But he called the other day. He was fine! I- he was laughing, he was-”
“I know,” she said quietly, with a sniffle, “I know. It came out of nowhere, sweetie.”
Noah’s hand found your shoulder, trying to keep you grounded. But he didn’t say anything, he didn’t even have to.
“Is he okay? Is- is he awake?” You asked, your voice shaky, barely holding together.
“Yes, and he’s been asking about you.” She said gently, “He didn’t want me telling you, he didn’t want to frighten you… but I didn’t want to lie to you, and I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.”
You nodded even though she couldn’t see, tears blurring your vision.
“Thank you,” you managed to say, “Thank you for calling me.”
“Of course, darling.” she said softly, “If anything happens- good or bad- I’ll keep you updated, okay?”
“Okay.”
When the call ended, the silence in the room was deafening. You stared at your phone in your hand in disbelief… you couldn’t believe that just happened. You couldn’t believe what she had told you. It didn’t feel real…
Noah crouched in front of you immediately, his hands warm as he took your face gently, thumbs brushing under your eyes before you even realised tears were falling.
“Hey,” he whispered, “Hey, look at me.”
You tried. You really tried, but your lip wobbled and then everything just… spilled out.
“He had a heart attack,” you managed to say through hysterical sobs, “Steve- he’s in the hospital, and he’s not coming home- he’s not coming into work. He never misses work!”
“I know,” Noah said softly, pulling you into his chest, “I know.”
You leaned into him, your forehead pressing into his shoulder, your arms wrapping around him like you might just lose him too if you don’t hold him tight enough. But he held you just as tight, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other rubbing carefully at your back.
“I’ve got you,” he said quietly, “I’ve got you… I’m right here.”
…
Noah cancelled all his plans for the day, and he told you that you could stay for as long as you need, and he didn’t leave your side for the rest of the afternoon.
You cried so hard that your chest ached and your head throbbed even harder, and he never once tried to stop it, to tell you to calm down, to tell you not to get worked up because everything was okay. He knew that wasn’t what you needed. He just held you, the two of you laying on the couch, your legs tangled with his, his chin resting on the top of his head.
You kept apologising, but he shook it off.
“It’s okay,” he’d say over and over, “You’re allowed to be upset. It’s bad to keep it bottled up.”
At some point, you stopped crying and just sagged into him, completely drained. He pulled a blanket over the both of you, pressing kisses to your forehead, and just let you stay close. When your eyes burned again, he rubbed your back and kissed your hand. When you sniffled, he passed you a tissue without saying a word.
You couldn’t believe how sweet and patient he was. He was nothing like the version of Noah you first met- the one who couldn’t go ten minutes without making a dirty joke. He just wanted to comfort you. He couldn’t stand to see you like this, and he’d do anything to take the hurt away.
Later that afternoon, your phone rang again. Your heart sank, assuming the worst, shaking your head when Noah asked if you wanted to answer it… but then you saw the name on the screen.
Steve
You reached for your phone, answering it and putting it on speaker without even thinking.
“Hey, kid.” Steve’s familiar voice came through, a little rough but still him. “You alright?”
You swallowed hard.
“I’m- I mean, yeah. I am now.”
He sighed.
“Your aunt shouldn’t have said anything, I told her not to worry you.”
You sniffed, a little weak laugh slipping out.
“It’s fine, I’m glad she told me. I’d rather know.”
“I figured you would,” he said warmly. “I’m okay though, sweetheart. Scared Linda and the kids half to death, but I’m still kickin’”
Noah gave your hand a little squeeze at that.
“I’m just gonna be in hospital for a bit, gotta be taking it easy. The doctors are monitoring me, they’ve given me some meds, and told me I’m not allowed to lift anything too heavy,” he grumbled, “Like that’s gonna stop me.”
You smiled despite yourself.
“You better listen to them.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckled. Then there was a pause, “...you at home?”
You glanced at Noah, who was watching you carefully.
“Uh… no, I’m at Noah’s.”
“Oh?” Steve said, immediately sounding more awake, “Noah Noah?”
You closed your eyes, sighing.
“Yes, uncle Steve.”
“Well I’ll be damned,” he laughed, “Didn’t the two of you spend Christmas together too?”
“We did.” You said, your cheeks warming. Noah just smirked.
“Well then,” Steve hummed, “What is this now? You two finally dating yet?”
“Oh my god,” you groaned, and Noah bit his lip, clearly trying not to laugh, “It’s not like that… we’re just spending time together as friends.”
“Mhmm, don’t forget I was your age once,” Steve chuckled, “And that’s what I said about Linda too.”
“Steve-”
“I know, I’m just messing with you,” he chuckled, “I’m just glad you’re not alone. Glad you’ve got company.”
“Don’t worry,” Noah said, leaning closer to the phone, “I’m taking good care of her.”
“Yeah,” you said, your voice full of warmth as you met Noah’s eyes, “He is.”
“Good,” Steve replied, “I don’t doubt that for a second… Noah’s a good kid.”
Noah gave you a proud smile, before Steve continued.
“Anywho, I have a question for you two.”
“Oh god.” You braced yourself.
“The garage is supposed to open tomorrow, there are customers already booked in. I told Linda we could close for a while, I’m sure everybody would understand,” he paused, “But… if you and Noah feel up for it, I trust you both to run the place whilst I’m gone. It’s completely up to you, though.”
You looked at Noah, and he was already watching you, his brows raised like he was telling you he’d follow whatever choice you made.
“Okay. Yeah. We can do it,” you said slowly. “I mean… I think we can.”
Noah nodded immediately.
“Yeah. We’ve got it, Steve.”
Steve smiled through the phone. You could hear it.
“Oh I knew I could count on you two! Just don’t overdo it, alright? Both of you.”
“We won’t.” You both promised.
“Good,” he said warmly. “I’ll see you soon, kid… I love you.”
“Love you too, uncle Steve.” You whispered.
When the call ended, you sat there quietly for a moment, phone resting in your lap.
“You sure you’re okay?” Noah asked gently, noticing how spaced out you looked.
You nodded.
“Yeah. I am. I just… didn’t expect today to turn into this.”
He pulled you back into him without hesitation, kissing your cheek.
“Hey,” he whispered. “You don’t have to do this alone. Work stuff. Family stuff. Any of it. You’ve got me… anything I can do to help, just tell me and I will.”
You let out a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I really appreciate that, Noah. Thank you.”
He shrugged slightly, like it was obvious. Like there was never another option.
“Always.” He said softly.
When he pulled you back into a hug, that’s when everything started to catch up on you. Not just the hangover and the weird feeling you always get on new years day, but the rollercoaster of emotions you had just been put on.
“Hey,” you said as you pulled back, “Do you think it’d be okay if we could upstairs and lie down? I’m just… really tired.”
Noah studied your face for a second, his hands resting lightly on your shoulder.
“Yeah… yeah of course, c’mon.” He said.
You followed him up the stairs, your body feeling more exhausted than ever before.
“I don’t want to talk, or think or.. anything.” You said suddenly, stopping in his doorway. “I just want to go to sleep, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine,” he said immediately, no questions, no hesitation, “You don’t owe me anything, baby. Here-”
He pulled the covers back for you, such a simple gesture but it made your heart flutter. You climbed into his bed, curling up onto your side. Then he sat down beside you, careful as if he was afraid of startling you.
“Do you want space, or do you want me to stay?”
“Stay.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes already shut.
He nodded and moved so he could lay down behind you, close but not too close, his arm carefully settling around your waist, like a reminder that he was there, he wasn’t going anywhere.
He then pressed a soft kiss to your hair.
And as your breathing slowly started to even out, as your brain started to quieten, you realised something that scared you almost as much as it comforted you.
This wasn’t just someone you slept with. This wasn’t just some casual fling.
He cared. And he wasn’t afraid to show it, to prove it. Maybe everything you ever thought about him was wrong. Maybe he is boyfriend material…
He’s gentle, he’s sweet, he’s patient, he’s understanding. He never pushes, he never makes things about him. He’s respectful, but equally silly and funny and annoying.
Maybe one day… maybe you two could be something serious.
You just worried he was the type that didn’t want to commit to one person… but since asking for the two of you to be exclusive- as far as you’re aware- he’s not done as much as speak to another girl. The two of you already act like a couple, so maybe once your mind clears… maybe once Steve gets better and you can think straight… maybe then you’d ask him.
You’d ask him to make it official.
…
Noah waited until he was sure you were asleep before he moved. He didn’t want to disturb you, so he carefully slipped his arm away, replacing it with the weight of the heavy blanket so you wouldn’t wake up cold.
As he stood, you stirred just a little, and he froze… but you settled again almost instantly.
He exhaled.
Noah had an idea, he didn’t want you to be alone tonight after everything, and seeing as you were already comfy and asleep in his bed, he decided he’d go to your place and pick up some bits you might need.
But before he left the room, he ripped a sheet of paper from one of his notebooks and grabbed a pen, writing you a quick note.
Hey baby,
I’m just going out quickly, but I’ll be right back. I’m gonna grab some of your stuff so you can stay here tonight. I’m hoping I won’t be too long, and that you won’t even wake up to read this note but in case you do, don’t panic. I’ve not gone far, and I’ll be right back.
N ♡
He set the note down on the nightstand, pressed the softest kiss to your forehead and grabbed his keys.
You gave him a spare key to your place a while ago, to use in case of emergencies, so he made sure to take that too.
Whilst he was driving, he made a mental checklist of everything you might need- your favourite comfy pjs, the old ones that have a hole on the side of the shorts but you refuse to get rid of, the skincare products you keep on your bathroom shelf, the toothbrush with the worn bristles that you keep saying you need to replace.
He wasn’t doing any of this because you asked, because you shouldn’t have to. He wanted to make you feel welcome, not just in his home but his life. He wanted to show to you that he is more than what you assume he is- not that this was an act, not that this was performative. Because he’s always been like this. Any of his friends could back that up.
…and maybe that was why Maya got so attached.
He listened to her when she talked, he was gentle with her, he was respectful. It was just the bare fucking minimum, but for some people who have never even been shown that, he could see how it could get mistaken for love.
He wished he’d been clearer with her. Kinder but firmer at the same time. But everything's already happened, the damage has been done, and he can’t turn back time now.
He just thought it was a little strange. Usually, girls knew who he was from a friend or a friend of a friend. They knew he got around, they knew what kind of guy he was, so they never took things personally. They never mistook his kindness for love- which was both a blessing and a curse, because it meant that whenever he was genuinely into somebody, they never thought it was anything more…
Which is exactly where he’s at with you right now.
He pulled up at your place, parking on your drive. He smiled at the car parked there, the one he had fixed up for you and gifted you for Christmas. He could still see the grin on your face when you opened the box with the keys, he could feel the weight of your arms when you wrapped them around him.
He reached into his pocket for the spare key when he got to your front door. It felt weirdly intimate letting himself in without you, intimate in a way that went beyond sex and jokes and teasing and touches. In a way that went far beyond casual sex, and friends with benefits. This was the first time he ever stepped into your home by himself, and even he was surprised by how careful he was being as he shut the door behind him and switched the light on.
Your house smelled like you, warm and comforting… it didn’t feel like a hookup’s place. It felt like home. And he wanted to make sure you felt the same way about his place, which is why he quickly kicked off his shoes and ran up to your bedroom, heading straight to the drawers to grab your favourite pyjamas. He folded them up before setting them down on your bed. Next, he reached for a pair of clean underwear and socks, gently throwing them onto the pile before wandering over to the bathroom.
He made sure to take your face wash, moisturiser and that fancy serum you wanted that Jess bought you for Christmas… then he saw your toothbrush.
He let out a soft huff of laughter.
“Jesus,” he whispered under his breath, grimacing at the bristles, “I’m buying you a new one.”
He picked up a few more things from your room just to help you feel more at home, before putting everything together into a bag… and that’s when it hit him again.
This wasn’t something he did. He never planned for overnight stays, he never thought ahead. He never imagined someone waking up beside him the next morning and needing their own things, their own space within his. Nobody would ever stay that long, they barely ever stayed until the morning.
Before he could think anymore, he zipped the bag shut, and headed back out, locking the front door behind him before wandering down to his parked car.
…
As Noah pulled up to his house, he noticed something.. there was a car parked in his driveway? But his friends were all out today…
His brows furrowed as he took your bag and got out the car, the door slamming shut behind him a little harder than he meant to. Then as he got closer to the house he could hear banging…
Oh. Great!
Just what he needed.
“Maya!” Noah shouted, his brows drawing together, “The fuck are you doing?”
She spun around at the sound of his voice. Her eyes were red and tired, her face pale and drained… she looked angry, hurt, like she hadn’t slept in days.
“You blocked me.” She said, almost a little breathlessly.
“I know.” Noah said, crossing his arms over his chest, “You need to leave, Maya.”
“I can’t!” She said, shaking her head in frustration “Not until we talk… please.”
He swallowed hard, guilt tugging at his heart.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He said, gentler this time. “Now, please, just go home. Get some sleep, and stop doing this to yourself.”
“I just want to know what it all meant…” Maya said quietly, “Like… closure, I guess. I want to know what I did wrong!”
Noah sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said after a moment, “It’s not your fault, if that’s what you think.”
“Then… why wasn’t I enough?”
That question hit him harder than he expected, usually he was the one wondering that.
“Maya…” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully, “I need you to understand this- I never wanted anything serious. I thought you knew that. I didn’t realise this would turn into… this. If I did, then I would’ve said something earlier, or I wouldn’t have even met up with you in the first place.”
She shook her head.
“No… no, you can’t just tell me it meant nothing, Noah.”
“What made you think it was something?” He asked gently.
“I don’t know,” she scoffed, before listing things off, “The way you’d look at me when I talked to you, the way you let me open up about things I don’t even tell my best friends about. You were kind, you were sweet, you were caring-”
“Maya,” Noah interrupted, “That’s just called being a decent person. Believe it or not… I’m not a complete asshole. Yeah, I handled this situation wrong, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a dick to you over the phone the other week. But… I’m trying to change-”
“For her?” Maya asked, her eyebrows raised. Then she nodded at the bag hanging off Noah’s arm. “Is she here?”
Noah pressed his lips together, and slowly nodded his head.
Maya laughed bitterly, wiping at her eyes.
“Of course she is!”
“She’s had some bad news today,” Noah explained, “I didn’t want her to be alone.”
“She’s not been alone since Christmas,” Maya scoffed, “Are the two of you joint at the hip now or something?”
Noah shook his head, pushing past her, reaching into his pocket for his house keys.
“Maya, please just leave-”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
Noah froze, the house key not even making it into the door.
He didn’t know how to answer that- not because he didn’t know the answer, but because he’d never said it out loud before. That’ll make it real, that’ll mean he can’t take it back…
He let out a long sigh as he looked at the door, thinking about how you were inside, hopefully still asleep, tucked up, warm and comfy in his bed, unaware of everything going on outside. Unaware of everything going on in his head and heart.
“Yeah.” He said softly, turning to face her. “I am.”
Maya didn’t say anything at first. She folded her arms over her chest, hugging herself as if she were holding herself together. She couldn’t look at Noah. Her gaze was fixed somewhere over his shoulder, and the warm porch light caught the sheen in her eyes, the way they glistened.
“I thought so.” She said quietly. “That explains everything.”
There was a long pause.
Noah was too afraid to speak, and too anxious to hear what Maya had to say. She let her eyes fall shut, shaking her head softly.
“She loves you too... you know that, right?” She added after a moment.
“What?” Noah asked suddenly.
Maya laughed softly, but there was no humour in it, only sadness.
“I’m her best friend, Noah- or I was. I don’t really know where we stand now… but the way she’d talk about you, the way she’d blush when Jess would tease her over you, the way her eyes would light up at just the mention of your name… I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend I didn’t see it. But I did, because I felt the same way about you… and I knew that if it came down to this, I could never compete against her.”
Noah frowned, swallowing past the lump in his throat.
“I’m sorry, Maya.” He said quietly, “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you…”
“I know,” Maya nodded, wiping her cheeks with her hand, “That’s the problem, isn’t it? Under that cold, fuckboy exterior you like to put on… you’re good. You listen. You remember the little things, you make people feel like they matter.” She swallowed hard,” And when someone’s never really had that before… it’s easy to confuse it with love.”
Maya took a little step back, creating space between the two of them.
“She’s done nothing wrong. I was angry at first… but she never knew how I felt. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt… none of this is on her.”
“I know.” Noah said immediately, “I would never hurt her, I’d never-”
“So don’t.” Maya interrupted gently. “Look, Noah, I think we should just keep this between us… Jess agreed to keep her mouth shut, that it’s for the best.”
He frowned.
“Maya-”
“She doesn’t need to know, okay?” She said, “You said it meant nothing, so it meant nothing. What good would it do if she found out anyway? It would only break her heart, and I can’t do that to her.” Her bottom lip trembled despite herself, “I’m used to this. I’m used to being second best, I’m used to guys never looking my way- and look at what happens when one finally does!” She scoffed before taking a breath and meeting his eyes. “If losing you is the price I have to pay… then fine. And I’m sorry Noah, but no guy is worth losing my best friend over.”
Noah let out a soft chuckle.
“I mean it, Maya. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for it all… but if you think we can both be grown up enough to keep this to ourselves, then I think we should try. For her.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, before a little smile crept on to her lips and she added half seriously, “But if the secret ever gets out, then I’m putting it all on you.”
Noah laughed, smiling as he met her eyes.
“I’d take all the blame,” he said softly, “If it meant you two were okay.”
Maya’s brows furrowed, clearly not expecting that.
“I mean it,” he continued, “If it meant she never looked at you differently, if it meant she still trusts you, still laughs with you, still calls you when something goes wrong… even if it means she’ll hate me, I’d carry it… you said it, I’m not worth losing your best friend over.”
Maya frowned, shaking her head. She reached back into her pocket for her car keys.
“I hope you work your shit out, Noah. If we’re putting this behind us, if you’re in love with my best friend… I hope you don’t fuck her head up too. Especially if you apparently don’t do relationships-“
“Maya,” Noah interrupted, “I will. I’ll figure it out. We’ll put this behind us. We’ll move on. We’ll keep her safe. I hate having to lie to her, but-“
“We’re not lying to her.” Maya said, turning to her car. “We’re just… keeping a secret.”
But don’t secrets always come out in the end…?
…
When you woke up later that night, you weren’t sure what time it was, what day it was, or even where you were. You were disoriented for a moment, until things started coming back to you- the hangover, the phone calls, Noah…
The room was dark, but you could feel something beside you. You turned your head slightly to find Noah laying on his back beside you, his phone in his hand, quietly watching some youtube video. The lights in the room were all off, but the one in the hallway was on, and it spilled through the slightly open door just enough that you can make out the shape of something on the end of the bed… your bag?
You shifted slightly on the bed, moving on to your side, catching Noah’s attention. He locked his phone and set it down on his chest.
“Hey,” he whispered, his voice a little rough yet still gentle, “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
You shook your head before pushing yourself up a little, your eyes drifting back to your bag.
“What’s that doing here?” You asked, genuinely confused as you nodded at it.
“Oh,” Noah gave you a little sheepish smile, “Whilst you were asleep I uh.. grabbed some of your things from your place. Just the basics, in case you wanted to stay over again tonight.“
He tried playing it cool, but you could tell he was a little nervous, like he wondered whether he had overstepped or crossed a line.
“Thank you,” you said with a soft sleepy smile, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know,” he shrugged, “But I wanted you. You know you’re always welcome here… you can stay as long as you want. I just kinda figured you maybe didn’t want to be alone tonight.”
You tried to ignore just what that did to your heart, and instead you playfully narrowed your eyes at him.
“You sure that’s the reason? You sure it’s not just ‘cause you’ll miss me if I went home?”
Noah chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down onto him, kissing your hair as you buried your face into his chest.
“Damn, you got me.” He whispered with a little smirk, his hand rubbing up and down your back.
He stayed like that for a moment, just holding you, his thumb tracing slow, absentminded lines up and down your spine. Then he heard- and felt- the quiet growl of your stomach against his ribs, and he stilled.
“…Was that you,” he asked, amusement lacing his voice, “Or have I officially lost my mind?”
“No, that was me.” You chuckled weakly, “I felt too sick for breakfast this morning… and I’ve kinda been asleep the rest of the day.”
Noah’s expression changed instantly, the teasing vanished, swapped for concern.
“Oh, baby…” he murmured, his hand slowing on your back. “You’re running on empty.”
You shrugged a little against him, suddenly feeling silly for it, but before you could say anything, he was gently wriggling away, sliding his legs off the bed and getting up.
“Alright,“ he said with a grunt as he stood, “You stay right here, I’m gonna make you something, okay? Any idea what you want?”
You gave him a little weak smile as you shook your head.
“Just something warm,” you said. “Please.”
He nodded, leaning down to kiss your forehead before standing straight again.
“Got it.”
…
You were just starting to drift again when you heard soft footsteps in the hallway, the faint clink of a plate, the sound of Noah swearing quietly as a fork must’ve fell to the floor. Your eyes fluttered open as he nudged the door wider with his foot.
“Hey.” He smiled.
He walked in carrying two plates, a fork balanced on top of one of them. He set them both down on the desk first, then glanced back at you, suddenly looking shy. Almost nervous.
“Okay,” he said, exhaling, holding his hands out as if he was about to tell a story. “Full disclosure, it’s not perfect… I might’ve gotten distracted and burnt the toast a little…”
“It smells good.” You said as you pushed yourself back up.
“Well that’s promising.” He said with a small laugh. He picked up one of the plates and carefully brought it over, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He held it out to you, he’d made scrambled eggs with toast a shade or two darker than ideal, just something warm and simple.
“But hey, it was made with love.” He said.
And the word hung there. Love.
Noah froze the second it left his mouth, but you didn’t even notice, too busy taking a bite out of the toast. He swallowed, watching your face like he was bracing for something… but it never came. You just smiled up at him.
“I don’t usually like burnt toast,” you said, oblivious to the internal crisis he was having, “But this isn’t too bad.”
Relief washed over him so fast it almost made him dizzy. He laughed quietly, breathy, then grabbed his own plate and crawled back onto the bed beside you.
“Good,” he said, settling in. “Because this one was worse.”
You both laughed, shoulders bumping as you leaned against him. He ate a few bites, then glanced at you again, more serious this time.
“Tell me if you don’t like it,” he said. “I can make you something else.”
“No, it’s good. I like it.” You replied simply, your voice soft.
You ate together in a comfortable silence, sitting cross legged on the bed. For a while the only sounds in the room were the scrape of forks against plates and the sound of traffic outside.
Noah leaned back against the headboard as he took a bite out of his cold, burnt toast.
You caught him staring.
“What?” You asked around a bite.
He shrugged, a small smile tugging at his mouth.
“Nothing…”
When you were about halfway through, he set his plate aside on the nightstand and stretched his arms over his head, exhaling slowly. He glanced at the clock on his phone, then back at you, hesitating like he was planning out the idea in his head before saying it out loud.
“Hey,” he said gently, “Do you wanna… maybe get out of the house for a bit?”
You paused.
“Out how?”
“Oh, nothing crazy,” he said quickly. “I was thinking maybe we could go on a drive? Just a change of scenery, y’know. Get some fresh air.” He tilted his head, watching your face. “We could park up somewhere, listen to music, not talk if you don’t want to. Or talk until the sun rises… it’s all up to you.”
You thought about it for a second.
“What time is it?” You asked.
“Almost midnight.”
Your brows drew together.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” he laughed softly. “You were out for hours, babe. I had to keep checking your pulse.”
“Aren’t you tired?” You asked, genuinely.
He smirked and shook his head.
“Nah, I took a pretty good nap earlier.”
“Oh yeah?” You teased. “When?”
“After I got back from your place. I came up and saw you sleeping in my bed, all soft and warm and cozy and cuddly… I couldn’t resist.” He then nodded down at your chest, “Your boobs make a good pillow.”
“Noah!” You laughed, swatting his chest.
He grinned, completely unapologetic.
“What? I’m just being honest.”
You shook your head, smiling despite yourself, then glanced down at the oversized hoodie you were wearing- his hoodie- and your sleep shorts, the ones you always kept at his house…
“…A drive sounds nice.” You admitted quietly.
His face lit up, but he kept it calm, like he didn’t want to spook the moment.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’d like that.”
He reached over, brushing his thumb across your knee.
“Okay. Finish eating, and I’ll grab the keys. We’ll go whenever you want.”
…
The roads were practically empty at this hour, the city asleep beneath the dark starry sky. Noah drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting carefully on your thigh, his thumb tracing little patterns on your bare skin.
Noah let you play music through his phone, so you found an album you liked and put it on. You didn’t ask where you were going, you trusted him.
After a few winding turns, he slowed down, pulling off onto a little narrow road you didn’t recognise. The car tires crunched softly over gravel before Noah cut the engine, then turned his head to you with a smile.
“Come on.” He said, patting your thigh.
He got out first, the cold air rushing in as you followed. Noah leaned back against the front of the car, looking out over the sleeping town spread below.
You took a few steps forward and then paused.
“There’s a bench.” You said, pointing it out.
He followed your gaze and nodded.
“Oh yeah.”
You sit side by side, close enough that your thighs brush, close enough to feel his warmth in the chilly night. You tuck your hand away into the sleeves of his hoodie as you look out at the view.
“I didn’t even know this spot existed,” you say quietly. “I’ve lived here my whole life.”
Noah smiled softly.
“No, most people don’t.”
You glanced at him, your eyes soft as you asked.
“So how do you?”
He shrugged, resting his elbows on his knees.
“I came up here with a girl, to… y’know. I won’t go into details, I know that makes you jealous.” He teased, “But then afterwards I looked out and saw how beautiful it looked… now whenever I need to clear my head, whenever I need to just take a moment away from it all, I come up here.”
That made you smile
“You come here to think?”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “Or… not think. Depends.”
A soft silence settled between the two of you, nothing awkward, just comfortable. Then, you tilted your head, studying him in the dim light.
“What are you thinking about right now?”
The question hit harder than you realised, which wasn’t your intention, but you noticed Noah didn’t answer right away.
He thought about what he was thinking about, and how to tell you he was thinking about you, sitting here in his hoodie like you’ve always belonged by his side. About earlier tonight, when he got to your place and realised just how much you meant to him. About Maya, how she told him that you love him too. But the words were stuck in his chest…
Say something
But he’s scared that if he says it badly, if he words it wrong or forces it out, it’ll go wrong, he’ll break what the two of you have built…
So instead, he turned to you. He saw how the city lights reflected in your eyes, and a gentle smile pulled at his mouth.
“You.” He says simply.
“Me?” You asked with a little chuckle.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “You.”
And maybe it’s not the whole truth, but it’s enough for now. You clearly didn’t understand just what he meant, how deep it really was, but you smiled anyway. You didn’t push, and you didn't tease. You just leaned a little closer, your shoulder resting against his.
After a moment, he cleared his throat and nudged your knee with his own.
“What about you?” He asked, “What are you thinking about?”
You blink, turning your gaze back out over the town. Because how do you even begin to explain it?
You were thinking about the phone call earlier, the way your aunt had sounded so shaken up, the way your world tilted on its axis in the space of a few seconds. How worried and frightened you were, and still are- despite your uncle reassuring you he’s fine. The way you could barely hold it together, but then Noah’s arms were around you- there were no jokes, no teasing, just solid, grounding warmth, just what you needed.
You think about how he hadn’t tried to fix it. Hadn’t rushed you, he hadn’t made it about himself or told you to get over yourself. He just stayed. He let you cry, he let you fall apart and he let you rest, with no ulterior motive. He didn’t expect anything in return, you knew it. He just did it because… he cared?
You knew he had a soft side, but a whole new version of him had revealed itself today. Not the cocky flirt you were used to, the “fuckboy” he seemed to have been labelled as. But someone thoughtful.. someone you could trust to lean on. Someone you could imagine loving you back.
Someone you already loved…
Fuck.
You swallowed hard, shifting slightly on the bench, pulling the hem of your shorts down as if it’d shield your legs from the cold.
You could say it. You almost do. The words sit right there, ready to spill.
I love you. I want this to be more. I want this to be real. I don’t want to pretend anymore.
But you don’t know where to start. You don’t know how to say it without risking everything.
So instead… you mirror him. You turn fully toward him now, meeting his eyes, your voice barely above a whisper.
“You.”
“Me?” He smirks softly.
“Yeah,” you say, with a nod. “And just… today, I guess.”
He hums in understanding, nodding.
“Yeah... it was a lot.”
You glance at him then, your eyes searching his face, your voice quieter now.
“You were really good today, you know that?”
His brows knit together slightly.
“Good?”
“Yeah,” you say. “I mean… everything you’ve done for me. You didn’t have to, but you did. You were just-“ you trail off, shaking your head with a small, breathy laugh. “You’re not who you pretend to be, Noah.”
That earns a soft huff from him.
“Hey, I work hard on that image, babe.”
You smile, but it fades into something more sincere.
“I know.” You say gently.
For a second, neither of you say anything. But you’re both thinking the same thing… you can see it in the way he’s looking at you, he can tell by the fact you’re not looking away.
Then slowly, he leans in. He’s a little hesitant at first, like he’s giving you time to pull away if you want to. But you don’t. You move in to close the space.
Your lips meet, gentle and warm, but it doesn’t stay gentle for long. The kiss deepened almost immediately, like he was finally giving into everything he’s been feeling around you. Like he’s finally realised what that feeling he’s had in his chest around you for weeks truly is…
Love.
His hand comes up to your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek. Yours slides into his hair, tugging ever so gently, and he gasps against your lips.
The bench creaks softly as you shift, turning more toward him, your knees brushing his thighs. He follows your movement, hands settling at your waist like that’s where they belong, and before you know it, you’re in his lap. He lets out a soft laugh against your lips, his hands sliding down to your hips to steady you.
The world narrows to just the two of you as your lips meet again- you don’t feel the cold air, or hear the quiet bustling of the city after dark, all you feel is the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your palm and his soft lips.
You kiss him like you’re trying to pour everything you feel into it, the things you don’t have the words for- gratitude, affection, want, love. Maybe one day you’ll find the words, but for now this will do.
Eventually, you pull back just enough to breathe, smiling as your nose brushes against his.
“It’s… pretty late,” you said breathlessly. “You sure you’re gonna be up for work in the morning?”
He smirks instantly, that familiar glint in his eyes as his hands squeeze your hips.
“Yeah, babe,” he says. “Course I am.”
You arch a brow.
“Uh huh…”
He tilts his head, grin widening.
“But, I mean… it’s not like we’re gonna get any work done anyway, is it?”
You stare at him, giving him a warning look.
“Noah.”
“What?” He laughs, completely unapologetic. “We’ll have the whole place to ourselves… I’m just saying-“
You swat his chest, cheeks burning.
“Well, don’t!”
He just laughs, leaning in to kiss you again.
“I’m fucking you on your desk,” he whispers against your lips before giving you another kiss, “And the workbench,” another kiss, “And the-“
“Noah.” You pull back, trying to ignore the fluttering in your belly, “Steve’s trusting us with this… we’re not turning it into some… fuckfest!”
Noah laughed, burying his face in your neck, his warm breath tickling your skin.
“I know, baby. And we won’t let him down… but once we shut for the night, I can’t promise I’ll stay professional.”
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
hehe you might think the dramas over… but this is just the beginning 🤭
warnings: non-proofread smut at the end inspired by a conversation i had with my friend about male sex toys? (cock rings to be specific), i guess maya is a warning now! and a little tattoo artist ruffilo feature <3
i hope everyone had a lovely christmas!! since getting my wifi back and finally posting chapter 10 i've been so obsessed with writing this story again, i was going to wait a little while before posting this chapter but i just got it finished tonight and i can't wait any longer, so here it is :) the maya haters are gonna love this one lmao
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
You spent the whole morning excited and giddy, thinking about how you were seeing Noah tonight. You felt stupid for feeling the way you do about him, but what’s a girl to do? He’s hot, he’s sweet, he’s gentle, he listens… sure, he can be an asshole sometimes, but you secretly love that about him. It just makes him who he is.
After lunch you decided to take a shower… only to remember you had run out of shampoo the other day. You dug through drawers in your room to see if you had spares hidden away somewhere… but it appeared you didn’t. Fuck. You’d have to go shopping.
Noah had been texting you all day, he was awake early- much to your surprise- and had told you that he was busy this afternoon, getting tattooed by his best friend Nick. He even sent you a picture at one point, and you giggled to yourself as you asked him what he was getting done.
Noah: i hate my left arm so nick’s making it look cool :P
You: ohhh but i liked that arm!
You: i mean it wasn’t bad…
Noah: you liked it huh? should i get nick to stop?
You: no!
You: where are you btw? i need to go to the store so i was just wondering if i’ll pass you…
Noah: you wanna watch me get hurt?
You: no…
You: maybe…
Noah sent you the address, and told you to come in if you were passing by.
(you weren’t, but you’d stop by anyway… just because.)
…
“Wait… what? Dude, start from the beginning,” Nick screwed his face up, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves after taking a cigarette break. “You’re saying that you and this girl are just friends with benefits, but you’ve been fucking her best friend behind her back? Man, that’s nothing! Even I’ve done worse shit than that!”
“Yeah, well this is different...” Noah groaned as he held his arm out, glancing over when he heard Nick’s tattoo machine start to buzz. “So there’s y/n, y’know the girl from work, my boss’ niece. I thought she really hated me for the longest time, I didn’t think I had a shot in hell. But now we’re… well, exclusive I guess? She even told me last night that she wants to be the only girl I see, which I’m cool with, I’m more than cool with it. I want her to be the only one too.”
Nick nodded slowly.
“Okay… so who’s Maya, then? Her-”
“Her best friend.” Noah sighed, “We were drunk the first time it happened, and we’ve only actually seen each other three times, but she acts like it’s so much more. It never meant anything to me but she caught feelings and now… well, here we are. I’m screwed, Nick!”
“Classic you.” Nick chuckled. “So this y/n chick really means something to you? If you’re feeling bad about fucking her best friend.”
“...Yeah. She does.” Noah answered truthfully, “I’m seeing her later. I don’t know whether I should be open and honest about it and tell her tonight before Maya opens her mouth. But I’ve never cared about someone this much before, Nick, I don’t know what’s the right thing to do. She’s special… and I don’t want to lose her.”
Nick paused, let out a long sigh before saying,
“...Well shit.”
“Yep. That's where I’m at.” Noah sighed. “I don’t want Maya, I never did… I just never thought I’d ever have a chance with y/n so took what I could get, y’know. I just slept with her out of boredom, really.”
Nick chuckled.
“Oh brother, I know. I-”
Before Nick could say anymore, Noah’s phone started to ring, vibrating in his lap.
“Fuck.” Noah groaned, and Nick caught sight of the name on the screen.
“Oh.. Maya, huh?” Nick smirked, “Answer it.”
Noah stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating it… before giving in and answering it.
“What?” Noah said with a bored huff.
“What do you mean what?” Maya snapped on the other end, “You haven’t been answering me!! We need to talk about this, Noah.”
“Yeah, well I’ve been busy.”
“With her?” Maya shot back immediately.
Noah shook his head and let out a sigh.
“Maya, I’m literally getting tattooed right now. Can’t you hear the fucking machine?”
“I don’t care,” she said, “You don’t just get to disappear on me after everything! You’re pretending like nothing happened when that is not the truth!! We had something special, Noah. You know it as well as I do! You don’t just drop someone like that!”
A smirk crept across Noah’s face, and with a humourless laugh he replied.
“Oh, my sweet Maya…” he said sweetly, his voice scarily calm. “That’s where you’re wrong. You see- you don’t know me at all, do you?”
Even Nick snorted from beside him.
“I do this shit all the time.” Noah continued, his voice full of mock sympathy. “People don’t usually take it this personally though. No hard feelings, yeah?”
There was dead silence on the other end for a second.
“Are you actually fucking serious Noah?” Maya finally said, her voice shaking with fury.
“Look, I’m not trying to be cruel…” Noah replied, detached and cold, a version of him you certainly wouldn’t recognise, “But let’s be real. We were just fucking. That was it. It was nothing serious, it was never gonna be something serious. And you’ve just gotta accept that. I need you to stop pretending-”
“That’s not true!!” Maya said, her voice raising, “You felt it too… we had something real. I know you felt it! You can’t just dump me for y/n like… like I don’t even matter?!”
“I’m not dumping you for her!” He said, his voice firmer now, turning heads in the tattoo shop, “And don’t start putting words in my mouth. I’m just saying we had our time… and I just don’t wanna see you anymore. Don’t think it’s anything personal, I don’t wanna see anyone any more… Yeah. Yeah, I’m becoming celibate actually.” He had to cover his mouth with his hand, biting back a laugh.
“Oh fuck you Noah! You’re lying.” Maya shot back, her voice trembling, “You know she talks about you all the time? And I just have to listen to it all. It sounds like you’re already her boyfriend! How could you be doing that if you were still with me?!”
He didn’t respond to that right away, he just took a breath, shaking his head. This was the part he hated the most- he hated having to be honest, knowing it’ll break her heart.
“Maya, look,” he finally said, his voice quieter, “I don’t know what you’ve told yourself in your head, but I was never with you. I need you to understand that. I never promised you anything. I’m sorry you felt the way you did, and I’m sorry if I led you on but… I just don’t want to keep doing this with you. I don’t want to keep leading you on, I don’t want you waiting around for something I’m not gonna give.”
“Oh… but she gets it?” Maya asked bitterly.
“What she gets is none of your business.” Noah replied instantly, making Maya laugh angrily, hurt.
“You really think she’s everything, huh? You think she’s perfect! She couldn’t love you like I do, Noah! She doesn’t know how! She’s never had a boyfriend before, and before you-”
“Maya, stop,” Noah shook his head, interrupting her, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t give a fuck! And I’m not just gonna keep sleeping with you out of guilt. That’s wrong on.. soo many fucking levels!”
“I never said that!! I’m choosing to stop this.” Noah said, “And I’m choosing to block your number.”
There was a pause again, and when she finally spoke her voice was quieter and almost dangerous.
“If she finds out,” Maya said slowly, “She’ll never look at you the same.”
Noah let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head.
“Maya, babe…” he said coolly, “I’m just some guy she works with. I’ve only known her… a couple months maybe? She knows what I’m like, who I am, she knows I fuck around, she wouldn’t care… but you?” His voice dropped, “You’re supposed to be her best friend. The sensible one, the one she goes to when she wants advice. She trusts you more than anybody else… and you really think she won’t look at you differently? You really think she’ll forgive you after this? I thought best friends told each other everything… but you’ve been keeping this from her?”
Maya was silent on the other end for a second.
“No… no, Noah, that’s not-”
“Hey, I’m just being honest.” He shrugged, “But anyways… see ya around.”
Then he hung up.
And before she could call him back, Noah blocked her number before dropping his phone down in his lap, thanking a higher power that you didn’t walk in during that phone call.
“I don’t know what the big problem is,” Nick said casually, wiping down Noah’s arm before leaning back in again, “We’ve fucked the same girls before and it’s never been an issue for us.”
Noah shook his head and let out a little sigh.
“I know, man…”
…
Twenty minutes later, the bell above the door chimed as you pushed it open. The studio smelled a little like antiseptic and cologne, the orange walls were covered in flash art and framed work, and the sound of a tattoo machine buzzing rang through the air.
You hesitated inside the doorway when the guy at the desk looked up at you, but then you heard Noah’s voice call out to you.
“There she is!”
You winced at the way he just annoucned your arrival, your eyes darting to him. He was half sitting half laying in a reclined chair near the back of the room, his arm stretched out while a guy with messy black hair tucked under a beanie worked on his skin.
“Am I even allowed to be in here if I’m not getting tattooed?” You asked, glancing around nervously.
And before Noah could even answer, the guy tattooing him, Nick, looked up. He took one look at you, and the corners of his mouth twitching into a little smirk.
“Oh yeah,” he said simply, his eyes scanning you head to toe, “Yeah… you can stay.”
“I can?” You asked, your brows lifting as Nick nodded.
“Yeah, if you’re my best friend’s girlfriend-”
“Hey,” Noah shot him a look, “Don’t be weird...”
“I’m not!” Nick laughed, holding his one free hand up defensively, “Relax, man. I’m just saying-”
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Noah cut in quickly, his cheeks already turning pink.
“Oh…” Nick chuckled.
“Yeah, oh! Good to know.” You said, crossing your arms as you glanced between the two of them, trying to keep a serious face whilst Noah groaned.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” You asked sweetly, taking a step closer to his chair.
“That tone!” He said, biting back a grin.
You just rolled your eyes, before peering down at his arm,
“That actually looks really good.” You said, “So is this your full time job?” You asked Nick.
“Kinda,” he shrugged, “I’m still in college so I do this and the band on the side-”
“Noah’s band? Bad Omens?” You asked suddenly.
“Yeah,” he nodded, still focused on Noah’s arm, “I play the bass… have you seen us before?”
“Once,” you nodded, “I went with my best friend, Maya…”
“Oh, the one that-”
“OW NICK!!” Noah suddenly flinched very dramatically.
“What?” He asked, confused and a little worried, “I wasn’t even touching you?”
You didn’t see the way Noah shot him a glare as if to say shut the fuck up.
Anyway, whatever that was passed, and Nick continued to work on his arm.
“So what did you have planned for us tonight?” You asked Noah with a sweet smile, one that made his heart melt.
“Uh, I dunno…” he admitted, earning a scoff from Nick.
“Seriously? You’ve got a date with a hot girl tonight and you haven’t planned anything yet?”
“Hey, at least I see the same girl more than once-”
“Shut up!”
“Okay!” You said, raising your hands, “I’m going, see you later Noah. It was nice meeting you Nick!”
“Bye!” Nick grinned.
“No, baaabe!” Noah called out, pouting, making you turn on your heels, “Can you stay maybe… 15 minutes? Nick should be done by then.”
You thought about it… but how could you say no to that face.
“Fine.” You sighed, “15 minutes, if it takes any longer I’m leaving.”
Nick smirked.
“Don’t worry, I work fast.” He said.
“So,” Noah said, nodding towards the plastic bag in your hand, “What did you buy?”
“...Oh, just some boring things.” You said, sitting down on the chair Nick pulled out for you.
“Show me!” Noah grinned, so you rolled your eyes and set the bag down in your lap.
“I got some shampoo and conditioner.” You explained, pulling them out of the bag.
“Ooh they're fancy,” Noah smirked, “Explains why your hair always smells so good.”
Your cheeks warmed as you reached back into the bag.
“I got a candle.”
Noah’s eyes lit up.
“Oh hell yeah, what scent?”
“Vanilla and... lavender.”
He nodded approvingly.
“Very nice.” He smiled.
“...That was it.” You said with a soft chuckle, putting your bag down on the floor.
Noah frowned, and winced again as Nick went over a particularly sore spot on his arm.
…
Nick peeled his gloves off and dropped them into the bin, giving Noah’s arm one last look over before nodding to himself.
“Okay. All done, dude.”
Noah twisted his arm, inspecting it from every angle like a kid with a new toy. His grin spread wide and stupid.
“Fuck,” he breathed, “That looks sick.”
You stepped closer instinctively, hands tucked behind your back so you wouldn’t accidentally touch it.
“Wow,” you gasped, eyes wide, “The red looks so cool!”
“Oh yeah?” Noah smirked, glancing at you sideways. “You approve?”
“Yeah,” you nodded quickly, shooting Nick a smile. “Nick did such a good job.”
Nick ducked his head a little, clearly pleased.
“Appreciate it.”
Noah slid carefully out of the chair, rolling his shoulder once before reaching for his jacket.
“Hey,” he said casually, like it was an afterthought, “You good to give me a ride home? I came in with Nick and he’s still working until 6.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
Nick clapped Noah lightly on the shoulder.
“See you dude. Try not to bleed out on her sheets tonights.”
“No promises.” Noah shot back with a smirk.
You laughed, waving goodbye as the two of you headed for the door together. Outside, the late afternoon air was crisp, the street busy with people coming and going. You unlocked your car, already reaching for the handle…
But suddenly you weren’t moving anymore.
You felt a gentle tug… but couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Confused, you looked down, only to see Noah’s finger was hooked casually into the belt loop of your jeans.
“Babe wait,” he said. He didn’t let go. Instead, he stepped closer, “There’s a store I wanna go into real quick.”
You frowned.
“What store?”
He nodded his head across the street.
You followed his gaze.
“Oh... no. Absolutely not.”
He laughed immediately, clearly delighted.
“Come on.”
“No.”
“It’ll take five minutes.”
“Noah. I’m not walking into the sex shop with you!”
He chuckled, his finger still in your jeans, dragging you along with him.
“C’mon, it’s not like you’ve never seen a vibrator before. We both know that.” He grinned devilishly, “I’d go in by myself but I need your opinion on something.”
“On what exactly?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Baby you know exactly what.” He tightened his finger just a fraction. “Please?”
You sighed dramatically, your cheeks as red as a tomato.
“I hate you, Noah.”
“No you don’t.”
Much to your dismay, you let him walk you to the sex shop. He pushed the door open with one hand, and you followed him in.
Then you froze.
The shop was dimly lit, with shelves filled with things you very much pretended not to see. Your hand tightened around Noah’s instinctively.
“Oh my god,” you gasped. “Noah.”
He noticed immediately.
The way your shoulders tensed, the pink in your cheeks, the way your gaze was anywhere but straight ahead.
“Ohhh,” he said softly, clearly delighted, “You’re shy.”
“I am not,” you hissed, mortified. “I just- I didn’t know it was gonna be so… open.”
He leaned down a little, voice brushing your ear.
“Baby, it’s a sex shop.”
“You don’t think I can see that?”
He laughed under his breath, squeezing your hand.
“Relax. You’re cute like this... acting as if you don’t have half of these toys hidden away in your bedroom.” He said, motioning to the wall.
You shook that off and tried to pull him toward a less graphic corner, eyes glued to the floor.
“Babe why are you acting like this is your first time seeing sex toys?” he teased. “You’re acting like you just walked into church naked.”
“Because this is in public,” you whispered. “People can see me. They can see us.”
“So?” He shrugged.
He stopped in front of a shelf, pretending to inspect something, nodding to himself like he was shopping for groceries.
“Huh,” he murmured. “Interesting.”
“Do not think about it!” You warned.
He picked up a small box, turning it over in his hands.
A cock ring.
“Blue? You think this would suit me? Or is black more my colour?”
You slapped his arm immediately.
“Put that back!”
“What?” He looked offended. “I’m just curious. I’ve never used one before.”
“You are being a menace.”
He smirked, kissing your forehead.
“But you’re blushing.”
You opened your mouth to argue, then stopped when he reached out, gently tugging you closer by the sleeve of your jacket.
“Hey,” he said softer, eyes warm, the teasing dialled down just a notch. “I’m not trying to freak you out. We can leave if you really want. I just thought maybe we could find something to make tonight even better.”
You swallowed, then sighed.
“No, I’m fine. I just… wasn’t prepared. I’ve never been in a place like this before…”
He smiled, thumb brushing over your knuckles.
“That’s okay.“ He smiled before that teasing glint in his eyes came back, “Oh shit they have a vibrating one!”
You furrowed your brows.
“So what’s the difference?”
“This one,” he held the second box up, “Will feel good for the both of us. I’m getting it.”
“Noah!” Your eyes widened, “You’re… you’re serious?”
He shrugged like it was nothing, like he does this every day.
“Yeah…?” He answered before walking up to pay for it.
You shook your head.
“I’m gonna wait outside,” you told him, “Meet you by the car?”
Noah nodded, giving you a little smile before you walked off and left the store, tugging your jacket a little tighter around yourself as you stepped out into the cold.
As you started to walk along the pavement towards the car, you spotted a familiar face…
Maya?
She was stepping out of the tattoo shop you had just been in with Noah, her phone clutched tight in her hand. She looked exhausted, upset, her eyes were red and glassy and it made your chest tighten.
You’ve never seen her like this…
“Maya?” You called, stopping suddenly.
She froze.
Slowly, she turned around, clearly not expecting to see you here. For a split second, something unreadable flashed across her face- panic, maybe?- before she hid it behind a tight smile.
“Hey,” you said softly, walking toward her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Maya shook her head almost immediately, lips pressing together as if she were holding words back with everything she had.
“Yeah! I’m fine,” she said quickly. Too quickly. “I just… had a rough day. I’m so sorry for missing your call yesterday, I was gonna call back but…” she trailed off.
Your brows knitted together.
“Do you wanna talk about it? I’m a little busy tonight but I can always cancel if you want to come over and have a girls night… I’ve missed our sleepovers.”
She looked at you, and for a moment it felt like she might say something. Like the truth was right there on her tongue…
But she swallowed it down, shaking her head softly.
“No,” she said quietly. “It’s okay. I’m sorry… maybe another time? But enjoy your night though.”
Before you could say anything else, footsteps appeared behind you.
“There you are.” Noah’s voice called.
You felt him before you saw him, his body warm against your back as he wrapped an arm around you casually, familiarly, like it was the most natural thing in the world. His chin dipped toward your shoulder.
“You ready?” He asked, then glanced up… and smiled. “Oh. Hey, Maya. You good?”
The words and casualness of his tone hit her like a slap.
She saw the way his arm stayed around you. The way his hand rested at your hip. The way he looked at you, soft and warm, like she wasn’t even there.
Her gaze drifted past him, to where he had just walked out of… the sex shop. Then she saw the black bag Noah was holding.
She swallowed hard.
“Yeah,” she said tightly. “I’m good.”
Noah nodded like that was all there was to it.
“Cool.” He gave you a little squeeze, fingers brushing your side absentmindedly. “C’mon, babe. It’s freezing.”
Babe.
Maya’s jaw clenched.
“See you later,” you said gently, offering her a small smile. “Text me, okay? I’m worried about you…”
She nodded, but didn’t meet your eyes.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I will.”
She walked away without looking back. You watched her go, frowning slightly.
“That was weird…”
Noah shrugged behind you, already steering you toward the car.
You hummed, still feeling a bit uneasy, but let it go when he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your temple.
“Don’t think about it,” he said softly. “Tonight’s ours, yeah?”
You nodded, smiling despite yourself.
Behind you, across the street, Maya finally stopped walking. She turned, and when saw the two of you laughing together by the car- his hand on your waist, your head tipped toward him- her heart sank in her chest.
Because you didn’t do anything wrong, you were oblivious to it all… but you were also adamant that you hated Noah in the beginninf, but now the two of you are acting like this? She didn’t want to hurt you when the truth came out, but why should she be hurting too?
Maybe she misread the signals from Noah. Maybe it didn’t mean anything… but she couldn’t help the way she felt about him. For the first time in her life, someone made her feel special.
And you took that away.
…
The second you shut your front door behind you, Noah kicked his shoes off and dropped the little bag from the shop onto the kitchen counter.
“So,” he said, rubbing his hands together, eyes bright and playful. “Bedroom?”
You laughed, dumping your keys into the bowl by the door.
“Nope.”
His smile fell instantly.
“No?”
“Nope,” you repeated, taking off your shoes. “Bedroom time can wait until after dinner. And after I shower.”
He groaned dramatically, dragging a hand down his face.
“You’re making me wait?”
“Yes. You’ll survive,” you said sweetly, walking past him toward the bathroom.
He followed you like a lost puppy, leaning against the doorframe as you switched the light on.
“I could always join you in the shower,” he offered, voice hopeful, eyebrows wiggling. “Saves time, saves water, saves the planet!”
You paused, slowly turned your head, and gave him a look.
A very stern look.
“No.”
“Pleaseee”
“No!” You laughed, “You are not turning my nice, relaxing shower into… whatever that would become,” you said, grabbing a towel. “I want to wash my hair in peace without your dick poking me!”
He pouted, his bottom lip sticking out as he crossed his arms.
“I’ll behave.”
You snorted, pushing past him and tapping his chest.
“We both know that’s impossible. Now go start dinner before I drive you home.”
“Fineee!” He said with a long, dramatic sigh, and you heard him disappear back down the stairs.
You shook your head, smiling to yourself as you shut the bathroom door.
Under the warm water, you finally let the tension melt off your shoulders. The day had been… a lot. Meeting Noah’s best friend, the sex shop, seeing Maya… you just couldn’t make sense of it. And you didn’t understand why she wouldn’t tell you what was wrong.
When you stepped out, wrapped in a towel, the smell of food hit you immediately.
It smelled good, you were surprised.
You padded into the kitchen to find Noah stood at the oven, his sleeves rolled up, hair a little messy, humming under his breath.
He turned when he heard you.
“…Oh,” he said quietly, looking you up and down. “You look sexy.”
“You look domesticated.” You shot back with a grin. “I could get used to a personal chef.”
He grinned.
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“‘Course I wouldn’t… I’m keeping you all to myself.”
You leaned against the counter, watching him for a second.
“Thank you." You then said softly.
He glanced at you, confused.
“For what?”
“For waiting tonight. For not pushing…”
He shrugged like it was nothing, but his voice softened.
“Of course. Babe, what kinda guy would I be if I didn’t respect your boundaries.”
The look you shared lingered just a second longer than necessary. Then he cleared his throat, pointing a wooden spoon at you.
“Dinners almost ready. Then after we eat, I think we should talk about… other activities.”
“I think that’s a good idea.” You smirked, pressing a kiss to his cheek before walking back towards the stairs to get dressed.
…
Dinner was surprisingly delicious, and what came as even more of a surprise was how Noah took both your plates out to the kitchen after you finished. Now, feeling full and warm and happy, you followed him out to the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind whilst he stood by the sink, rinsing the plates off.
You pressed your cheek between his shoulder blades, breathing him in. He smelled a little like weed, car oil and cheap cologne- a combination of scents you never thought you’d find comfort in.
“Thank you, again,” you said quietly, “For cooking and cleaning.”
He smiled to himself as he set one plate down and reached for the next.
“You’re welcome, babe.”
You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his shoulder first, then you rose to your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his neck, making every hair on his body stand on end.
“What d’ya want, baby?” He asked, already knowing the fucking answer.
“You.” You said as Noah set down the second plate, wiped his hands dry and then turned around.
His hands found your hips immediately, as if they knew exactly where to go. Then his mouth found yours, kissing you with zero hesitation, making your knees weak in an instant. The kiss deepened, your hand fisted into the fabric of his shirt, and his slid up your back.
“Fuck,” he breathed against your mouth in between kisses, “I’ve been wanting you all night- fuck, all day.”
You smiled, breathless.
“Me too.”
His mouth found yours again, but this time he backed you up against the counter, trapping you between his arms as he planted his hands on the counter either side of you. His lips then started to trail down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin lightly. But then his hands were back on you, or one of them was, grabbing at your waist, pulling you flush against him so you could feel how hard he was already.
You tangled your fingers into his hair, his stubble tickled your neck as his hand moved, slipping beneath your top. His hand was hot and rough against your bare skin, and it only slid higher up, slipping beneath your bra to grab at your breasts, making your body arch into his touch, a needy sound escaping your lips.
You then slid your hands down his body, finding the hem of his tshirt and yanking it up and over his head impatiently before tossing it onto the floor. Your palms flattened against his inked chest, sliding down you felt the little trail of hair that led beneath his jeans.
He pulled away for a second, breaking the kiss to pull your shirt off too, before he buried his face back in your neck, sucking marks on your newly bared skin, ones you knew would bloom purple by the morning. But you didn’t care.
Your hands fiddled with the button on his jeans, popping it open before dragging the zipper down… leaving him standing in your kitchen in just his boxers, his dick hard and pressing against your tummy. Just as you were about to reach for his cock, he caught your wrist.
“Oh, baby it’s my turn.” He smirked, his hands now finding the button on your jeans, undressing you easily, like he’d done this many times before…
You were then both left in just your underwear, but as Noah pushed your jeans down, he dropped to his knees in front of you, helping you step out of your clothes before his lips kissed up your thighs… all the way up to your clothed clit. He pulled your underwear to the side before licking a strip through your folds, his playful eyes meeting yours, your knees wobbling beneath you.
He did it again, but this time he sucked on the sensitive little bundle of nerves, making you grasp on to the counter with one hand, and his hair with the other.
“Noah…” you managed, your self control surprising you as you tightened your grip on his hair to attempt to pull him away, “Not here… bedroom.”
He released you with a soft wet pop, his lips already glistening. He looked up at you from his knees, his eyes dark and heavy lidded, a smug, satisfied smirk spreading across his face.
“M’kay, babe.” He said, pressing a final kiss to your inner thigh before rising to his feet.
He took your hand in one of his, and the little black plastic bag in the other before walking rather quickly up the stairs to your bedroom, and you tried not to trip because of how weak your legs felt beneath you.
He shoved your bedroom door open with his shoulder, tugging you in before slamming the door shut behind you. Your bed looked so inviting, it was neatly made with fresh sheets this morning, and you just knew you were gonna have to change them again later.
You settled yourself down on the bed, laying against the pillows as you unclasped your bra and let it drop to the floor, looking up at him with a little smile that almost made him cum on the spot. But instead, he turned his attention away, dropping the plastic bag on the bed, and pulling out the little blue box from the sex shop that you tried to forget about.
“Remember this?” He asked with a smirk as he kneeled on the bed between your legs, holding the silicone between his fingers, “Made sure I got the special one, so you feel good too.”
Your face heated up, swallowing hard as he pressed a little button, and it started to buzz.
“This bit,” he said, pointing at the slimmer part of the ring, “Sits right at the base of my cock, and, this bit…” he pointed to the thicker part, “It vibrates, so it feels good when I’m inside you.”
Your mouth had gone dry, imagining the dual sensation.
“Touch it.” He said, holding it out towards you.
You reached out, the tip of your fingers touching it. The vibration was powerful without feeling too violent.
“Feel it?” He asked softly, and you nodded.
He pulled his hand back, letting you feel the vibrating silicone all over your body. Holding it over your tits, dragging it down your stomach, going lower and lower, until it was pressed against you just where you needed it, and it felt delicious even with your underwear acting as a barrier between the silicone and your skin.
He held it there, letting you just feel it, watching your reactions, pressing it a little harder, moving it in tight little circles until your hips started to rock, seeking more.
“You like it?” He asked, hooking his fingers into your waistband when you gave him a nod, and undressing you. “I thought something like this…” he nodded towards the toy in hands, “Feels good for the both of us. That’s why I got it.”
He pressed it against your clit again, pressing the button once more, upping the intensity a little. He watched you and how your body reacted, the way your eyes fell shut, the way you reached for him, pulling him into a kiss as you felt yourself get closer and closer… but before the pleasure hit its peak, he pulled it away.
The sudden absence of the sensation was a shock, leaving you frustrated, aching for more. Noah just chuckled, sitting back to push his boxers down, tossing them on the floor somewhere, finally freeing his aching dick.
And fuck, was it a sight.
It stood thick and proud, the head flushed a dark red, a bead of precum glistening at the tip, making your mouth water. He picked up the ring again, the light on it still blinking.
“Now time to put it to the test.” He said.
He stretched the silicone loop, and you watched, mesmerised as he guided it down his length. He had to work it a little, the fit quite snug, pushing it past the thickest part of his shaft until it settled firmly at the very base. The vibrator part sat flush against his skin, right where his pelvis met his dick. Fuck, the sight of it was so fucking hot.
He let out a sharp hiss as he settled it into place.
“Snug,” he grunted, adjusting himself. The tightness of it, along with the vibration was clearly affecting him… you could see the very subtle tremble in his thigh muscles.
He looked at you then, his eyes already dark.
“You know what to do, baby.” His hands went to your thighs, pushing your legs further apart, making you feel exposed and almost a little shy under his gaze.
One of his hands smoothed over your tummy, possessive and appreciatively, and then the other guided himself to your entrance. You felt the blunt, hot head of him, slick with his precum and your own arousal, nudge against you.
And through him, you felt the vibration. It was just a soft buzz at first, but then as he pushed into you, it grew stronger… and then it felt unreal.
The slow stretch of him filling you was overwhelming on its own. But combined with the vibrator pressed against your clit… it was delicious. You cried out as he sank deeper, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt inside you. The vibrator was now pressed tight against your most sensitive nerve...
“Oh my god,” you breathed, your hands reaching out and grabbing at his shoulders. “Oh my fucking god, Noah.”
His hands gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh. He was still for a moment, letting you adjust, letting you just feel it.
You could feel him trembling with the effort of holding back.
“You feel that?” he growled, his voice strained. “Every time I move… you’re gonna feel that.”
He pulled back, almost all the way out, and the brief loss of the vibration made you groan, your hips lifting in search of more. Then he drove back into you, hard and deep.
The cry that was torn from you was music to Noah’s ears, fuck he had to stop himself from coming right then. The delicious feeling of his cock moving inside you, combined with the vibrations when the silicone ground against your clit, sent shockwaves through your entire body.
“Oh fuck right there… mmm yes! Noah, don’t stop!” you babbled, mindlessly. The room filled with the sounds of skin against skin, your ragged moans, his soft grunts, and the buzz of the toy.
He set a brutal, punishing pace, each thrust stealing your breath, making you claw at his back as his mouth came back to your neck, nipping at your soft skin. One of his hands slid up your body, his fingers finding your nipple, pinching and rolling the tight bud. The dual sensation had you seeing stars. The pleasure coiling in your belly, which had been winding tighter since you were in the kitchen, was reaching its breaking point.
“I’m gonna come,” you warned, your voice hardly a whisper. “I’m gonna…”
“Do it,” he commanded, his thrusts becoming erratic, losing their rhythm as his own control frayed. “Do it baby… come all over my cock. Let me feel you.”
That was all it took.
With one more thrust, his cock buried deep, the vibrations hitting just right… your climax hit, white hot pleasure washing over you. You clenched around him, as he held himself in place, letting you feel it all until you were sobbing with the intensity of it.
Feeling you clamp down around him sent Noah over the edge. With a final, deep, grinding thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, groaning loudly, his hand grabbing at your headboard as he came inside you, his release hot and long, intensified by the tight ring around him.
Noah reached down, clicking the vibrator off and collapsed down onto you like a blanket, completely boneless.. He was still buried inside you, the ring still around him. You could feel his heart hammering against your own chest, matching the beat of your own.
You stayed like this for a long time, coming down together. The only sound in the room was both your ragged breaths as they slowly returned to normal. You ran your fingers through his hair as you held him close, your free hand rubbing up and down his back, as if to soothe where you had clawed at him just minutes ago.
He pressed a kiss to your cheek before pushing himself up and slowly pulled out, the both of you wincing at the sensitivity, and you couldn’t help but frown when you felt the cool air replace the heat of him.
He slipped the ring off, setting it down on your nightstand before coming back to you. He laid beside you, and you rolled onto your side to face him, his fingers gently brushing the sweat-damp hair from your forehead. His eyes searched yours, his own face flushed, his lips parted.
“Well?” he finally asked, his voice a little hoarse. “Was that worth going into that shop?”
A weak, spent little laugh bubbled out of you. You couldn’t even form words. You just reached out and swatted his chest weakly.
He grinned, that smug, warm grin of his, and pulled you into his arms, your head finding its familiar spot on his chest. He pressed a kiss to your hair, his hand gently stroking your shoulder as he asked.
“Are you okay?”
“More than okay.” You said with a sleepy smile, shuffling impossibly closer.
“Good,” he exhaled softly, his warm breath tickling your neck, “You promise you’ll tell me if you’re ever not… right?”
“Of course,” you said, tilting your head up to look at him, “Are you okay?”
Noah hesitated for a millisecond, before nodding his head.
“Yeah… your beds comfy.”
You giggled at that, before reaching out to the nightstand, grabbing your water bottle that you left there this morning. You sat up to take a sip before offering it over to him. Noah took a couple sips before putting it back down.
“Come here.” He said gently, pulling you back down until your head rested against his chest again.
You could hear his heartbeat again, though it was a lot steadier and calmer now. He had an arm around your waist, holding you close, and you couldn’t help but trace slow circles over his skin, the way you knew soothed him even if he’d never tell you.
“Cold?” He asked as you tucked yourself even closer into him.
“A little.” You said, and without hesitation, he pulled the covers over the both of you.
“Better?”
“Much better.” You said with a sleepy smile. “...you are staying the night, right?”
“If you want me to.” He said, almost sounding a little unsure.
“Of course I do… and at least this time Steve won’t interrupt us in the morning. “
Noah chuckled at that, kissing your forehead. Then it wasn’t long until the both of you fully relaxed, both feeling warm and safe and happy… and you let yourselves drift off.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
noah doesn't feel remorse for the things that he did (but he doesn't pray he has the chance to do it all again 🙂↕️)
chapter warnings: smut, nsfw through the first half, teeth rottingly sweet through the second half... time is just a concept in this fic idc if the last chapter was set in the summer and this one's in the winter!!
masterlist ♡ who the fuck was going to tell me i posted the last chapter of this IN AUGUST?? time's moving far too quick for my liking. anyways here it is, the last chapter! i've been putting off writing this because i don't want to finish this story, it means so much to me and if i never wrote it i might not have ever met my best friend?? but i hope this chapter was worth the wait, it's been rewritten at least 5 times and this is the happiest i've felt with it. and since it's now midnight here in the uk, merry christmas!! <3
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
“Yeah… hi, it’s y/n,” you said into the phone, your voice a little shaky. You cleared your throat, and tried again. “I just wanted to let you know I won’t be coming in today…”
You screwed your eyes shut, biting down on your lip as you tried to continue.
“I’m… I’m not feeling so good.”
There was a pause, your boss was talking in your ear, but you could hardly concentrate on him. You swallowed hard, your other hand gripping tight onto the sheets.
“Yeah, no, I think it’s just something I ate. I’m sure I’ll be fine after some rest...”
The second you stopped speaking, you drew in a sharp breath.
“Sorry,” you rushed out, trying to mask it as a cough. “I’ll drink some water, get some sleep.”
Your boss hesitated, then asked if you’d be okay to return tomorrow. You clenched your jaw, forcing your voice to come out steady… even as your body betrayed you.
“I don’t know.. I’ll keep you posted.”
The conversation wrapped up quickly after that, thankfully. The moment you hung up, you let the phone drop to the bed, throwing your head back into the pillows with a groan.
Then you yanked the covers back, revealing Noah between your thighs, grinning up at you, his lips glistening.
“Noah!” You hissed. “Are you fucking kidding me? I almost moaned in my boss’s ear!”
“Almost?” His grin widened. “Guess I’ll have to try harder next time.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Hey, you sound so hot when you’re trying to hold it back, I couldn’t help myself.” He teased
Before you could even shove him away or say something, Noah pushed your thighs apart just a little more, kissing his way back down to where you needed him.
“Noah…” You warned, shooting him a look as he continued to kiss a trail down your body.
He glanced up at you, still grinning smugly.
“What? You’re not on the phone anymore.”
And then his tongue was back on you… soft, slow licks at first, just enough to make your head spin. You grabbed fistfuls of the sheets, your head was thrown back against the pillows as his tongue worked harder, diving into you fully, his nose nudging your clit just enough to make you whine.
“God, you taste so good in the morning.” He whispered against you, his voice vibrating through your body.
Your back arched off the bed, a shaky hand tangling in his messy hair.
“You’re insufferable.” You gasped, though it came out more like a moan than an insult.
He chuckled into you, which only made you rock harder against his mouth. One of his hands slid up, flat against your stomach, holding you down as he devoured you properly now, tongue flicking against your clit the way he always knew made you weak.
“Fuck- Noah…” You tried to bite down on your lip, but the noises still slipped out. They always did for him.
He pulled back just enough to speak, his mouth glistening, his eyes dark and hungry.
“Oh yeah, that’s better than your little work voice.”
And before you could even snap back, he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked...
Your hand flew to cover your mouth, your thighs clamped around him, but he only groaned like he loved it, his tongue working faster until the knot in your stomach was about to snap.
“Noah… oh my god-”
Your words cut off in a broken moan as you felt yourself tip over that edge. He held you there through it all, licking you gently until you were trembling, overstimulated and breathless.
When he finally pulled away, he pressed one last soft kiss against your thigh, then crawled up the bed, settling over you, holding himself up with his hands planted either side of your head. His lips were a little swollen and wet, and then he kissed you slowly, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.
“Good morning, pretty girl.” He whispered against your lips, a small smile tugging at his mouth.
Your chest heaved as you stared at him, still dizzy, your hand curling into his shirt.
“You’re an asshole.” You breathed, though your grin betrayed you.
“Mm, maybe,” he smirked, brushing his nose against yours. “But you’re calling in sick tomorrow too…”
You let out a disbelieving laugh.
“Noah, I cannot just keep calling in sick every time you decide to-”
“Decide to what?” He teased, kissing down your jaw slowly. “Wake you up the best way possible? I didn’t hear you complaining two minutes ago.”
Your cheeks burned, but you still swatted his chest weakly.
“But what if I got caught out? If my boss knew I was calling in sick so my boyfriend could eat me out I’d be out of a job. I’d quit! I would not look that man in the eye-”
“Just come work for me, for the band.” He said with a shrug, like it was the most casual proposal in the world. “We need someone to run the band’s social media accounts.”
“Are you serious?” You asked, your eyebrows raised.
“Are you pretty?” He smirked.
You rolled your eyes, but he was already lying down on the bed beside you, pulling you against him until your head rested on his chest. His skin was warm, and his heartbeat was steady under your ear.
For a while, neither of you spoke. He just stroked his hand lazily up and down your back, occasionally pressing soft kisses against your skin.
Finally, you whispered into his chest.
“You spoil me, you know that?”
Noah chuckled quietly.
“Pretty sure this counts as me being selfish. There’s nothing quite like tasting you first thing in the morning.”
You tilted your head, meeting his eyes, your lips curving into a little smile.
“And what about you?”
He shook his head.
“I’m good, baby. That was all for you.”
You buried your face back into him so he wouldn’t see how that made you blush.
…
It was only a few hours later, after you both finally dragged yourselves out of bed, after you showered together (which was less about washing and more about getting your hands on each other again), after making coffee, that you finally found yourself shoving a few things into an overnight bag.
“Are you really sure about this?” You asked as you zipped it up, glancing over your shoulder. Noah was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, watching you with a little smirk on his face.
“Positive,” he said simply. “I want you at mine tonight, I don’t care what my roommates say.”
“I’m kinda nervous,” you confess, “...you know I’ve never been to your place before.”
“I do.” He pushed himself away from the doorway to grab your bag for you. “Guess it’s about time, huh? You ready?”
You nodded, smiling small.
“Yeah. I’m ready.”
The drive to his house wasn’t too long, he let you play music in the car whilst he kept his hand on your thigh, sneaking glances every now and then. You tried not to overthink it too much, about what his place would be like, about what it actually meant that he was letting you into his world properly now, but your stomach still fluttered the closer you got.
When he finally turned onto his street you recognised it, the first time you met Matt and Davis at the gym he had dropped them home before taking you to dinner, but he made them get out at the top of the road so you’ve never even seen his house before… so when he pulled into a long, wide driveway, your mouth fell open.
“Noah,” you gasped, staring up at the house in front of you. “This place is… huge.”
He shrugged like it was nothing, putting the car into park.
“It’s just a house.”
“Just a house?” You repeated, still gawking.
You followed him up the steps to the door, and he insisted on carrying your bag for you so you let him.
Inside, it was even more overwhelming. It was fucking huge, and it seemed quite minimalistic- something you expected from Noah. There was an open floor plan, so as you stepped in the living room was to the left, and the stairs and kitchen were to the right. The big windows let a lot of light in, and you even spotted a huge pool outside. This place seemed so much more put together than your tiny little apartment. There were some framed art pieces on the walls, books and some controllers set down on a coffee table, candles that probably cost more than your rent…
And then as you turned, your eyes caught on the wall behind you.
Your mouth went dry.
Framed records on the wall, not just one or two, but a handful- there was even a couple unopened leaning against the wall. But these just weren’t any kind of records, they were gold, silver, even one platinum plaque. There were a couple awards on a shelf too… all for the band. His band. And these achievements reminded you who he really was, the man that the world adored.
You stopped in your tracks, suddenly feeling small in the expanse of it all. Like maybe you didn’t belong here… with him…
Noah must’ve noticed, because he set your bag down and came to stand beside you, his hand brushing yours.
“Too much?”
You blinked, forcing yourself to tear your gaze from the awards and look at him. His brows were drawn together, like he was nervous about what you’d think.
“No, it’s just…” You swallowed hard, motioning to the wall, “You’re really famous, huh?”
He huffed out a laugh.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“But you are,” you said softly, your eyes drifting back to the wall, then to him again. “And I’m just… me.”
That made him frown. He reached for your hand properly this time, threading his fingers through yours.
“Hey, don’t do that. You’re not ‘just’ anything. You’re everything to me, none of this shit means half as much to me as you do.”
You let out a little sigh and met his eyes again.
“C’mon,” he said gently, giving your hand a squeeze. “Let me show you the rest of the place.”
You let him lead, your fingers still threaded through his.
He showed you to the kitchen, telling you about the time Davis almost set the house on fire when he tried to cook lasagne. Then about the time he caught Matt here with a girl and made him disinfect the countertops as soon as she went home.
Then the living room was next. He showed you the shelf where he kept a few anime figures, gifts from fans and a fake plant, everything was so tidy and put together- quite the opposite of your little place. He made you smell the scented candles on the coffee table, and then he told you about the games that were stacked on the tv unit. You loved seeing him like this, in his home, telling you about things he cared about… it made your feel so full.
Then he took you to the studio.
You paused at the door, knowing what had been made in this room. This was his work room, probably his favourite place in the world (which he would deny, and tell you it’s your bed), and it warmed your heart that he seemed so excited to show you around.
He showed you all the equipment he had on the desk, though you barely understood a word of what he was saying. He showed you the few different microphones he had, telling you about one that was broken but he didn’t want to get rid of it as it’s the one he used to record their first album.
“So yeah, this is where the magic happens,” he smirked as he sat in the rolling chair and gestured for you to come closer. “This is where I spend most of my time, if I’m not with you.”
You nodded, looking over at all the guitars he had in the corner of the room.
“You ever wanted to try?” He asked.
“Play?” You swallowed. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to… it was that the thought of trying in his studio, with him watching... “Maybe.”
“Maybe later I can teach you,” he said, then quieter he added, “If you want.”
He led you back through the hallway, and up the stairs this time. You walked past a few rooms that he didn’t show you- one was the spare room where the guys would keep all their random shit they didn’t want in their rooms, and the other two were Matt and Davis’ rooms. You were expecting at least one of them to be in, but neither of them were… which you were kinda glad about.
Noah stopped at the end of the hallway, smiling down at you as he opened his bedroom door, letting you step in first.
For a split second, you hesitated. You couldn’t quite believe how nervous you were feeling, all you were doing was walking into his bedroom!
You stepped in anyway, and you had no idea what to expect… but it was just so him. The walls were painted grey, and there was a fluffy white rug that sat on the wooden floor. The large windows had the curtains pulled across, making the whole room seem darker than it actually was.
His bed was in the corner of the room, with a big tv on the wall opposite with a dresser beneath it. On there were his colognes, a few books stacked up and another few anime figures. You love how much of a nerd your boyfriend is.
He motioned for you to sit on his bed, and so you did. You sank into the soft mattress, resting your hand behind you on his dark sheets. That’s when you noticed his nightstands, one on each side of the bed. On one there was his lamp and a water bottle, and on the other were a couple more scented candles and a polaroid camera. He must’ve caught the way your eyes lingered on it, as he chuckled when he sat down beside you.
“I bought this pretty recently, Bryan- my friend, he’s also the band's photographer- he has one and he sometimes takes it on tour. I’ve always thought they were pretty cool, and so I bought one on the last tour. I’ve only used it once, though.”
You picked the camera up and glanced over at him.
“I used to have one of these, until James lost it.” You shook your head, “That was years ago, he told me he’d buy me a new one but still hasn’t.”
Noah chuckled at that, and you turned back to look at him. Something about the softness in the way he watched you made you feel fuzzy inside, and he looked so good you couldn’t help but ask…
“Can I take a picture of you?”
“Of course.” He grinned.
You raised the camera, peering through the little viewfinder. You thought about telling him to pull a silly face, or to say something that’d make him laugh before taking it, but you just wanted to capture him. His warm smile, the softness that was always in his eyes when he looked at you. This was the real Noah. Your Noah.
You pressed the button and the camera flashed, taking the photo before the little picture popped out of the top. Noah reached out, took it and placed it on the nightstand to develop. And when he turned back to you, there was a playful look in his eye… and you knew where this was leading.
“Y’know… we could always make this more fun.” He smirked.
You gave him a playful unsure look, but handed him the camera anyway.
“Right… what are you suggesting?” You asked, unable to fight off the smile creeping on to your lips.
Noah leaned back on his palms, tilting his head at you with a lazy smirk that made your stomach flip.
“Baby you know exactly what I’m suggesting.” He said, his voice dropping an octave.
“You mean dirty pictures?” You could already feel your cheeks heating up.
“Not dirty.” He chuckled, before leaning closer, “More like… beautiful.”
Your breath caught, taken back a little by that, but not exactly surprised. You raised your eyebrows, and Noah’s hand gently rested on your knee.
“We don’t have to. But if you let me…” he paused, eyes all over you like he was already imagining it, “…I’ll make sure they’re only for me. Only for us.”
You thought about it for a moment, then nodded. You liked the idea of him having something to keep him company on tour (as if the dozens of pictures on his hidden folder on his phone weren’t enough.)
“Okay,” you smirked, “But only if I can get some of you too.”
“Deal.” His grin returned.
They started somewhat innocent. You were lying on his bed, against the pillows, his body on top of yours, kissing you until you were breathless and slightly dizzy, which is when he pulled back and reached for the camera. Your lips were kiss swollen, your eyes dark and a lazy grin on your face as you looked up at him.
*flash!*
The picture came out, and Noah set it down beside you on the bed to let it develop.
“Your turn.” You smirked, and he passed you the camera.
He kneeled between your legs, and you pushed yourself up a little so you were almost sitting. You looked through the viewfinder, watching as he tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it on to the floor. You almost forgot to press the button, too distracted by him…
But then he lowered himself a little, taking one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder as he kissed up your thigh.
*flash!*
…
“Wow,” you were panting, your body covered in a layer of sweat, your hair sticking to your forehead as you looked over your shoulder at Noah, who looked a lot more put together even after 3 rounds, “I don’t think we’ve ever gone that long before…”
“I don’t think you’ve ever looked so beautiful.” Noah smirked, kissing your shoulder.
For a long moment, the room was silent except for your panting breaths and the soft whiz of the ceiling fan. Then, out of nowhere, you started giggling.
Noah turned his head, lips curving into a lazy smile.
“What’s so funny?”
You covered your face with your hands, still breathless.
“Who takes polaroids in the middle of…” another giggle burst out of you, “...that?!”
He chuckled, kissing the top of your head.
“Us, apparently.”
“How did they turn out?” You asked curiously, sitting up, pulling the sheets over your body.
That smug little grin spread across his face as he reached for the stack sitting on the nightstand.
“Let’s find out.”
He handed them over to you, and you spread them out between you on the bed.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, covering your face with both hands. “Noah, they’re so filthy.”
“They’re perfect,” he smirked, pulling one specific one out. It was you straddling him, your head tossed back, one of his big tattooed hands grabbing at one of your breasts. “Look at that. Shit I should frame it.”
“You better not!” You hissed, snatching it out of his hand, your cheeks burning.
But then your eyes caught on another one, one of him. His chain dangling down from his neck, his hair falling into his eyes, his lips parted… you froze, heat rushing through your stomach.
“Holy shit…” You whispered, holding it closer.
“What?” Noah asked, leaning to peek.
You immediately snatched it, clutching it to your chest.
“Nope. This one’s mine.”
He laughed, trying to grab it from you, but you squealed and held it out of his reach.
“Mine!”
“You’re ridiculous.” He chuckled, but his grin softened when you leaned forward to steal another kiss.
Then you spotted another in the stack, and your breath hitched. This one was him between your thighs, hair messy, his eyes shut as his hands held your legs open. You bit your lip so hard it almost hurt, your whole body heating.
“That one’s your favourite, huh?” He smirked.
“Oh, you know it.” You grinned.
You put the photo back with the rest and Noah set them aside on the nightstand before pulling you closer again, until your head rested just beneath his chin. His arm wrapped around your waist, his thumb tracing absent minded patterns into your skin.
For a while neither of you spoke, you were just basking in the afterglow, happy to have Noah back. You both finally caught your breath, and Noah pressed a kiss into your hair, then another right at your temple.
“You okay?” He asked softly.
You hummed, nodding slightly.
“Better than okay.”
He smiled at that.
“Good,” he said quietly, “Because I was kinda hoping you’d say yes to something…”
That made you lift your head, your brows knitting as you looked up at him.
“What kind of something?”
Noah didn’t answer right away, he just tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb lingering on your cheek.
“I’ve got something planned for us tonight.”
“What, more sex?” You chuckled, pushing yourself up onto your elbow.
“No,” he smirked, “I’m taking you somewhere.”
“Where?” You asked immediately.
But Noah just shook his head.
“It’s a surprise.”
“Noaahh!” You groaned, “You can’t just say all that and then not tell me!”
“I can,” he grinned as he got up, “And I will.”
You sighed, defeated but smiling anyway.
“So is it a date?”
He turned back to you, his expression softening instantly.
“Yeah. It’s a date.”
That made your heart flutter.
“Do I need to dress nice?” You asked, suddenly nervous again.
He returned to the bed with a box of tissues he kept in the dresser, he carefully pulled the sheets down so he could help clean you up.
“Wear whatever you want, baby. You’ll be perfect.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Noah.”
But he just chuckled.
“Dress warm. We leave in a couple hours, I’ll drive, and you’ll find out everything when we get there.”
You stared at him for a moment, trying to read his face, but after wiping up the sticky mess on your thighs he leaned in for a kiss.
“Trust me?” He whispered against your lips.
“Always.” You said with a smile.
…
Even as you got in the car, he wouldn’t tell you where he was taking you. You had gotten dressed, changing into something warm- Noah’s advice- so that meant a pair of thick leggings with one of his hoodies, the sleeves swallowing your hands.
You were sat in the passenger seat, watching out the window, trying to piece together clues from the street names and turns to figure out where the hell he was taking you… but he was making it impossible. Noah drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on your thigh, smirking because he could tell you were still trying to work it out.
You sighed dramatically, turning towards him.
“So…” You said, dragging it out, “Are we going somewhere fancy?”
“Hm.. not really.” He answered, his eyes still on the road.
You narrowed your eyes.
“That didn’t help at all.”
“It wasn’t meant to,” He smiled innocently.
The rest of the drive felt way longer than it actually was, anticipation growing stronger with every passing minute. You noticed the streets getting busier, more lights, more people walking around bundled up in coats and scarves and woolly hats. You could hear the sound of Christmas music driving in through the closed windows when you stopped at a red light…
You leaned forward slightly, squinting as you tried to look into the distance.
“…Okay, now I’m suspicious.”
That earned you a glance. His eyes softened when they met yours.
“Good,” he said. “Means it’s working.”
A few minutes later, he slowed the car, turning into a busy parking lot. As soon as you stepped out, the cold air hit your cheeks, and the air smelled like sugar and something warm and sweet.
You froze.
You turned around, your eyes lifting slowly, taking it all in.
The lights, the ferris wheel towering above everything, the music, the chatter, the atmosphere…
“Oh my god.” You gasped.
Noah came up behind you with the spare jacket he always kept in his car, draping it over your shoulders without you even asking, his hands lingering for just a second as he adjusted it around you.
“Surprise!” He grinned, “Winter wonderland!”
You turned to him, eyes wide, mouth slightly hanging open.
“Noah… are you serious?”
He gave you a soft, warm smile.
“You mentioned once that you’d never been,” he said. “And I thought… after everything we’ve been through lately, you deserved something fun.”
Your heart did a stupid flip.
“Oh… Noah!” You didn’t even think about it before you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest.
He let out a quiet laugh, arms coming around you immediately, holding you close under the warm lights.
“Thank you,” you said, tilting your head up to look at him. “This is just… perfect.”
He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there.
“Good,” he said, smiling down at you like you were all he wanted. “C’mon,” he took your hand in his, “I think we should look for a hot chocolate stand.”
You grinned letting him hold you close as you walked through the busy stream of people. The music was growing louder the closer you got, lights twinkled in every direction. Despite the cold biting at your nose, you’ve never felt so warm.
The line for drinks wasn’t as long as you thought, so you stood by Noah’s side, his arm around your waist, your head resting on his shoulder. He tilted his head down, noticing the look on your face.
“You’re smiling.”
“So are you.” You shot back, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
Then it was your turn to order, Noah stepped up and ordered two hot chocolates with extra toppings. He paid, then took both cups when they were handed over, carefully handing yours over to you.
You wrapped your hands around the cup, sighing as the warmth seeped into your fingers before taking a sip.
“Oh my god!” you gasped, “This is perfect!”
He watched you over the rim of his own cup with soft eyes, his mouth curving into a little smile.
“Not as good as yours, baby.” He said, and you couldn’t help the way that made your heart stutter.
You lingered there for a moment, stood at the side, just watching people pass by- kids dragging parents towards rides, couples walking hand in hand, groups of friends laughing and posing for photos under the lights.
It felt unreal, it felt magical. Noah always knew just how to make everything feel so special.
“So,” he said, nudging his shoulder into yours, “What do you want to do first, angel? We can walk around, go on a ride… spend all our money on claw machines?”
You turned to look at him fully then, hot chocolate forgotten for a second. He was backlit by the lights, his breath fogging in the cold, hair a little messy from the wind. And all you could feel was this overwhelming certainty that this was all you ever wanted. He was all you ever wanted. Famous or not, all the lies aside, you loved him more than you had ever thought was possible.
You smiled up at him, with nothing in your eyes but pure affection.
“Let’s just walk around,” you said softly.
You watched the way his expression changed, something warm and soft crossing his face like he knew exactly what you were feeling, and he was feeling it too.
He reached out, lacing his fingers through yours, lifting your hand to press a kiss against your knuckles before letting it fall between you again.
“Sounds perfect.” He said.
And as the two of you wandered deeper into the lights and music and laughter, hand in hand, it felt like the rest of the world didn’t matter.
…
You wandered along the path slowly, shoulder to shoulder, Noah’s arm slung around you as you took everything in. The different stands and booths, the smell of hot churros and mulled wine, nostalgic christmas songs…
Then, at a corner was when you spotted the ice rink.
You slowed, eyes lighting up as you watched people wobbling across the ice, others skating skilfully.
You nudged Noah with your elbow, a big grin on your face as you look up at him.
“You ever skated before?”
Noah shook his head, a little smirk spreading across his friend.
“Me and the guys tried once, but-“
“You ended up on your ass?” You giggled, and he nodded his head.
“It was Nick’s fault to be fair, he pulled me down first!”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“Sure it was,” you smiled, “Think you’d want to give it a second try?”
He laughed, squeezing you a little closer.
“Mmm, maybe,” he admitted. “But if I go down again, I’m taking you with me.”
Your eyes widened.
“Oh no you are not.”
“Oh yes I am,” he grinned. “I’ll grab you like this-“ he hooked an arm around your waist playfully, the way he’d do so easily in the gym before pulling you down to the mat with him.
You laughed, shoving at his chest. But then your smile suddenly dropped… because something caught your eye.
Red hair poking out from under a cream coloured beanie… and a scarf that looked a lot like the one you bought Kylie for her birthday.
You froze.
“Noah,” you said slowly, squinting ahead. “Am I losing my mind… or is that…”
He followed your gaze.
He spotted a familiar tall blonde stood near the railing, laughing as he tried to help a redhead adjust her scarf. She looked up at him, her eyes bright, shoving him playfully when he said something you couldn’t hear.
You gasped.
“No fucking way! Is that Kylie… and Matt?!”
Noah blinked once. Then twice.
“…Holy shit.” He whispered.
You both stopped dead in your tracks, staring.
“They look..” you started.
“…very happy,” Noah finished, a grin already tugging at his mouth.
As if sensing they were being watched, Kylie glanced up, and her eyes locked straight onto yours.
Her face dropped and she suddenly went even paler than usual.
Matt followed her gaze, and despite not being able to hear him, you both saw the way he said “oh shit!”
They both did the same thing at the same time, and turned away- like if they pretended not to see you, you wouldn’t exist.
But you weren’t letting them get away with this!!
“Oh no,” you shook your head, already moving. “Absolutely not.”
You tightened your grip on Noah’s hand before he could even register what was happening.
“Wait- babe,” he laughed, stumbling a little as you dragged him along with you. “You’re serious?”
“You bet your ass I am.”
Kylie glanced back over her shoulder once more, panic written all over her face when she saw you marching straight toward them.
You grabbed skates, barely listening to the guy behind the counter, already tugging Noah along toward the bench.
“You’re aware,” Noah said as he struggled into his skates, “That this is gonna end with one of us on the floor.”
“Yes,” you replied sweetly, tightening your laces. “And I’m hoping it’s Matt.”
He laughed, shaking his head.
Once you were both up and on the ice- slightly wobbly, Noah gripping the railing for dear life- you scanned the ice.
And you found them instantly!!
Matt was holding hands with Kylie as they skated along the edge, trying very hard to look unbothered.
“Oh my god,” you said. “They’re holding hands. Look!”
“Hey, they’re kinda cute!” Noah chuckled as you both stepped on to the ice, with you clinging to Noah’s arm for balance.
“Okay,” he said, “This isn’t gonna work, let’s just leave them.”
“No we’re not. C’mon Mr Hot Gym Guy. Keep up.”
Rather slowly, you made your way towards them.
Matt spotted you first, freezing. Then Kylie followed his gaze, and plastered on a big fake smile.
“Hi!” She said, almost sounding scared.
Noah cleared his throat loudly as you came to a stop right in front of them, your hands still firmly around his arm.
“Well,” he said pleasantly. “Fancy seeing you two here.”
You playfully narrowed your eyes.
“Care to explain why my best friend is canoodling with my boyfriend’s best friend in the middle of Winter Wonderland?”
“Hey it’s not-“
“What it looks like?” you finished for Matt, squinting at him. “Then what is this?”
Kylie looked at Matt then back at you, her lips pressed together before finally saying.
“Well… I guess I should tell you… me and Matt have been seeing each other for a while.”
Your mouth fell open.
“We didn’t want to say anything until you and Noah sorted things out.” Matt explained, and Kylie nodded.
“I’m sorry…” she said with a little frown, “You’re not mad, are you?”
You looked at her, the way her arm was curled around Matt’s, the way her cheeks were flushed and her eyes brighter than you’ve seen in a long time. They looked good together, that was undeniable.
“How can I be mad,” you said after a moment, and Kylie and Matt both dropped their shoulders in relief, “You two are adorable! It was a bit of a shock… my best friend and my boyfriend’s best friend?!”
Kylie let out a breathy laugh and squeezed your hand.
“I really was going to tell you babe, I promise!”
“I know,” you smiled. “You’re terrible at keeping secrets, you would’ve cracked eventually.”
Matt cleared his throat, clearly eager to stay in your good books.
“Hey why don’t I get us all some churros? I could do with something hot right now.”
You pretended to think about it, glancing at Noah who gave you a look as if to say “it’s your call.”
“…Alright,” you grinned. “And for that, you can stay.”
You and Kylie exchanged a look before you both pushed off together, skating ahead with a little more confidence than the boys.
“Awh,” Kylie cooed, glancing back over her shoulder. “Look at them!”
Behind you, Noah was gripping Matt’s sleeve.
“Why are you going so fast?!” Matt hissed.
“I’m not!” Noah shot back. “You’re pushing me!”
“I am absolutely not-“
There was a sudden, very loud curse.
“Oh, for fu-“
Followed by a big thud.
You and Kylie came to a stop, spinning around just in time to see both men sprawled on the ice, Noah on his ass and Matt flat on his back, both of them silent for a moment before they burst out laughing.
You couldn’t help but laugh too, grabbing on to Kylie as she started to giggle beside you.
“Oh my god,” you wheezed. “You okay back there, boys?”
Noah lifted one hand weakly, and you skated back over to him, offering him your hand.
“Need some help, pretty boy?”
He looked up at you, grinning despite himself as he slipped his hand into yours. You leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Kylie helped Matt up beside you, shaking her head fondly.
Noah slung an arm around your waist once he was steady again, pulling you close as the lights glowed around you and music drifted through the cold air.
“Okay, you definitely owe me some churros after pulling me down with you.” He laughed as Matt shook his head.
“Dude, you fell first!”
…
After leaving the rink, the four of you wandered to the churros stall. Matt paid for everyone’s and you walked around together for a moment as you ate, but then you almost felt bad for crashing their date- even if it was an accident…
As Kylie and Matt giggled over something, you squeezed Noah’s hand, grabbing his attention, tilting his head down to look at you with a little “hm?”
“Why don’t we leave them to it? I feel bad that we interrupted their date.” You said, and he nodded.
“Alright you two,” Noah said, throwing an arm around your shoulders before nodding towards the path behind them, “Go have fun, enjoy your night.”
“But don’t have too much fun!” You giggled, pointing a finger at Kylie, “I know you.”
Kylie laughed and leaned in to hug you tight.
“Thanks for being okay with this… I love you.”
“Love you too,” you smiled. Then you looked at Matt, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Take care of her.”
“Yes miss.” He said with a cheeky smile.
Matt and Kylie waved as they walked off hand in hand. You stood there for a moment, watching them go, smiling softly.
“Cute.” Noah said quietly.
“Very.” You agreed, leaning into him, “Like us.”
“Oh, no. Not as cute as us.” Noah chuckled, kissing your cheek.
You wandered on, churros in hand, weaving through the crowds and stands, until Noah suddenly slowed.
“Oh… hold on.” He said.
You followed his gaze to one of the game stalls with bright lights. A crowd of people watching as someone took aim.
And you recognised that someone…
“Is that your friend?” You asked, “The kind one that helped me in the elevator… Nicholas?”
Nick stood at the counter, focused and determined, tossing rings onto the poles while his girlfriend stood beside him, bundled up in a big coat, her gloved hands clasped together as she cheered him on.
“C’mon Nicky, you’ve got this!” She smiled.
You didn’t see the outcome of the next ring tossed, but you heard a bell ring, then Nick turned around, his face lit up as he gasped.
“No way- yes!”
A moment later, the lady working behind the counter heaved a massive teddy bear over to Nick.
Nick passed it over to his girlfriend, grinning like he’d just won a grammy or something. She wrapped her arms around the bear and kissed Nick on the cheek with a big smile.
You couldn’t help but smile.
“That’s really sweet.” You said, feeling your heart melt just watching the way Nick looked at his girlfriend.
Noah watched them for a second longer, a fond look on his face.
“Yeah. That’s Ruffilo for you.”
Nick glanced up then, spotting you and Noah. His grin widened immediately.
“No way!” he called, lifting a hand. “You guys are here?!”
His girlfriend turned too, smiling brightly despite the bear in her way.
You waved back, laughing, nudging Noah gently.
“Did you all plan this? To come on the same night?”
“No, we didn’t,” he chuckled, “I feel like I should’ve come up with a better idea, take you somewhere else, somewhere better where-“
You gave him a look, shutting him up.
“Noah, this is perfect. Tonight’s been perfect. It doesn’t matter if we’re at winter wonderland or sitting on a park bench… if I’m with you then it’s the perfect.”
You could tell that caught Noah off guard completely, the way he froze, the way he looked at you like you had just knocked the air from his lungs.
Then he smiled. It wasn’t teasing or smug or flirty… it was almost shy, completely real.
You noticed Nick and his girlfriend tried to make their way to you, but got pulled away by the crowd. You could just about spot the big teddy bear bobbing up and down above people’s heads. So then you and Noah kept walking too, but slower not, not in any rush.
You weren’t sure how long you had been here for now, but Noah ended up buying another hot chocolate even after insisting you didn’t need one, so he bought a big one to share, your gloves bumping as you took turns sipping from the cup, laughing when he got cream on his top lip and wiping it away with your thumb.
At one point you both stopped to watch the ferris wheel turning slowly in the dark sky, the both of you tilting your heads, a smile spreading across your face.
“Next time,” Noah said quietly, standing behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your head, “We’ll go on that.”
“Next time?” You asked, turning your head to look at him.
“Mhm,” his arms tightened around you, “I’m planning on a lot of next times with you.”
Your heart melted into a puddle in your chest…
Eventually, the cold started to creep in a little more, your legs grew tired and the crowds started thinning as people began to drift towards the exits. You leaned into Noah as you walked, your steps syncing without even thinking about it.
“You tired?” He asked softly.
“A little.” You answered.
“Wanna head back?”
You nodded, and the two of you started to make your way back, hand in hand.
“Thank you.” You said quietly after a moment.
“For what?” He asked.
“For tonight. For… us. For not giving up on me even when I was being stubborn.”
He stopped walking for a second so he could turn to face you fully, under the glow of the warm lights.
“Of course,” he said, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you, I should be the one thanking you for letting me, for giving me a second chance, to do things the right way. You have my whole heart, angel. You have done since the day we met.”
You weren’t too sure how to respond to that, so without even thinking you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, he tasted like chocolate and sugar.
“I promise I’ll keep it safe,” you whispered, “For as long as you let me.”
…
The drive back to Noah’s place wasn’t too long, in every moment he could he’d take your hand, pressing kisses against your skin, telling you how pretty you looked in the city lights, resting his hand on your thigh. Your heart had never felt so full.
Once inside, Noah kicked off his shoes and led you to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water, and poured another for you.
“Make yourself at home,” he said, “I’ve got something to take care of quickly, but I’ll be right back.”
And so you did. You got ready for bed, taking a shower, letting the warmth of the water wash away the cold from outside, your muscles finally relaxing. You used Noah’s products, making you smile to yourself as it was clear he likes to take care of himself. You used his fancy shampoo and conditioner, and the body wash that smelled like him… you couldn’t believe just how much he felt like home.
You pulled on the pyjamas you packed for tonight, the material soft against your skin. You then washed your face and brushed your teeth. By the time you wandered back down the hall, towel drying your hair, you felt clean and very much at ease and ready to get into bed with your boyfriend.
And then you stepped into his bedroom.
You paused by the door…
Rose petals were scattered across the bed like a scene from a movie. Soft amber light flickered from vanilla scented candles scattered across the room- some on the dresser, some on the nightstands. And you could hear soft music playing quietly from the speakers by his tv… it sounded a lot like missing limbs by sleep token…
“Oh…” you smiled to yourself, stepping in, “And here I thought we were just going to bed.”
Behind you, you heard footsteps.
You turned to see Noah standing by the doorframe, still in his clothes from earlier- black pants and a grey jumper, the sleeves pushed up just enough to show his forearms. His hair was still messy from the wind, which he’d tried running a hand through it but still it refused to cooperate.
He slowly stepped into the room, pushing the door shut behind him with a click. You looked up at his face, ready with another teasing comment… but it died on your lips when you noticed you couldn’t quite read him.
He wasn’t smirking, he wasn’t teasing, he wasn’t even smiling…
He looked nervous.
“Noah?” You asked softly, “Are you okay?”
He swallowed, nodding his head like he was preparing himself. He crossed the room slowly, stopping a few steps away from you.
“Yeah,” he said quietly, “I just… I need you to let me say this before you interrupt me, okay?”
That alone made your heart race, but you nodded.
Noah took a deep breath.
“I know this probably sounds stupid,” he began, his eyes locked on yours, “We’ve barely even known each other for a year. I know how that looks- hell, I know how that sounds.”
You bit down on your lip nervously.
“But I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life,” he took a step closer, “I wasn’t looking for anything back when I met you, I wasn’t expecting anything… but out of nowhere, you appeared in my life and now I don’t know how to live, how to function without you. You’re all I think about- you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the mornings, you’re the first person I want to talk to when I get good news… you’re my home.”
You swallowed past the lump in your throat, praying he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes.
“It was when we were apart that it really hit me… I wasn’t just missing you, I realised I couldn’t imagine living my life without you. All the other shit- the touring, success, awards… all this shit,” he gestured vaguely across the room, “None of it matters if I don’t get to come back to you, if I don’t get to share it with you.”
A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it, but he caught it, reaching out and brushing it away with his thumb.
“I don’t care if people think this is too fast… I don’t care if it even scares me a little. I’ve always lived by the saying that when you know, you know… and I know exactly how I picture spending the rest of my life… and who I spend it with. So why should we wait?”
He let out a shaky breath… and dropped down to one knee.
You couldn’t help but let out a broken sob, your hand covered your mouth but it did nothing to stop that sound that escaped.
“Noah-”
He smiled up at you, his eyes glossy, terrified but hopeful, and so full of love it almost hurt to look at.
You watched him reach into his pocket.
“You told me earlier that you promised to keep my heart safe… for as long as I want.”
With shaky hands, he pulled out a little black velvet box, opening it up, showing you the ring- though your eyes were so blurred from the tears you couldn’t even see it.
“I want you to have it forever.” He said softly, his voice quiet and broken like he was trying not to cry himself, “And I promise to do the same for you, on the good days and the bad, in the times when all we have is each other… because I love you.”
He swallowed hard, his eyes meeting yours again.
“Will you marry me?”
Time seemed to have stopped.
You didn’t know how to react, you knew exactly what you wanted to say- yes! But you dropped to your knees in front of him without thinking, cradling his face in your hands as you let the tears fall now, your forehead pressing against him as you whispered,
“Yes!” You kissed the corner of his mouth, your shoulders shaking from where you were crying, “Yes, Noah.. oh, a thousand times yes!!”
A broken laugh left him as he exhaled, relief crashing over him all at once. He kissed you back, his hands a little rough as he grabbed your face, like he was too overwhelmed to realise how strong he was.
When he pulled back, his slipped the ring on to your finger with trembling hands, and stood up, pulling you so tight into his arms that your feet raised from the ground.
“I love you,” he whispered into your hair, “I love you so much it makes me feel like an idiot.”
“You are,” you giggled through the tears, “But I love you more.”
That night was too soft for sex. You couldn’t even think about that, so the both of you lied in the bed, rose petals now scattered across the floor, half the candles burned out, the music had stopped playing a long while ago, but the screen was still lit.
All you two wanted to do was hold each other, as if to remind yourselves this was real. Noah would press the occasional kiss to your forehead, and your fingers would trace over the ink on his skin… but you both laid there for a long time in silence, just letting it all sink in.
Eventually though, Noah broke the silence.
“Hey,” he whispered, “What are you thinking about?”
You shifted just a little so you could look up at him. His eyes were already on you, soft and a little dazed.
“Us,” you said honestly, "How far we’ve come since the days me and my friends would watch you out the window, the first kickboxing class… our first date."
A small smile tugged at his lips.
“I think about that all the time.”
He shifted slightly too so you could be more comfortable. He pulled the blanket higher around your shoulders before resting his chin gently on the top of your head.
“I know it might sound stupid,” he said after a moment, his voice a little hesitant and vulnerable, “But I’ve been thinking about the future a lot. Not just tours and shit but… us too.”
“Like the dream you had about the cabin?” You asked, and you heard him chuckle softly.
“Yeah… like that.”
“I didn’t tell you back then because I was worried it might scare you… but I’ve had dreams like that too. “
“Yeah?” His brows knitted together in surprise.
“Yeah,” you nodded, “But in mine… it’s strange. I was grocery shopping, and when I came home I’d leave the bags by the door because I could hear laughing from the living room. It was your laugh...”
He stilled.
“You’d be kneeling on the floor, with this little girl in front of you. You had pasta sauce all over you, and she was wearing a bad omens tshirt… she’s got your eyes and nose, but she’s got my hair and my smile… you were teaching her kickboxing,” you couldn’t help but let out a little laugh, “You’d tell her to fix her stance and then lift your hands up, she’d throw the cutest little punches… and you were really good with her. She loved you so much, she didn’t even notice I came home.”
You turned your head to look up at Noah, and he was already looking down at you, his eyes just full of love.
“I don’t know her name, but I remember the way she looked at you. Like you were her whole world.”
Noah ran his fingers through your hair, his eyes full of tears that he wouldn’t let slip. He just pulled you closer, holding you tighter.
“Angel, I’m not giving you a ring and a baby in the same night.” He said softly.
You let out a little chuckle against his chest.
“We don’t have to rush.” He continued, “We’ve got all the time in the world. I just want to wake up next to you, come home to you, build something that’s ours first…”
“That’s all I want too.” You said, nuzzling against him.
He smiled then and leaned down to kiss you, as if sealing a promise.
“I want to give you everything,” he said quietly, “Anything you could ever ask for. One day we’ll have that cabin in the woods. And maybe that little girl, or a boy- or even both.” His thumb brushed your cheek, “But right now, tonight, I just want you right here with me… and then tomorrow I want to be there to hear your friends' reactions when you tell them you just got engaged to the hot gym guy.”
“Noah!” You groaned, knowing that even in 50 years time, when you’re both sitting hand in hand in a care home, he’ll still never let you live that down...
You thought it all started on a random Tuesday evening, when you were asked to stay a little later in the office, and you were in a rush to get back home to your friends, but spotted a guy so hot outside the gym that he made you walk into a glass door…
But it really started on a Wednesday night, laying in bed with the love of your life, talking about where you’d like to go on your honeymoon, names for your future children, what kind of rugs you’d buy for the cabin… and right in that very moment, you were so glad your friends encouraged you to join that kickboxing class.
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
-sidenote, i don't know if winter wonderland is a thing anywhere else, but there's one in london and i've told my friends we should go every year and we STILL haven't :( but anyways..
she's finished 🥺 a big big big big thank you to everyone who's read this story, liked it, reblogged it, commented, sent me requests for it... all of that. it's definitely been one of my favourite things to ever write and it'll always have such a special place in my heart! i started writing because i just wanted a cutesy wholesome little world to escape to and just writing it brought me so much comfort, and i've had some people tell me it's their comfort story too so that just makes me feel so <33
also... i mentioned MONTHS ago about possibly writing a sequel for this story... and i MIGHT have started planning that too... if that's something you want🤭
warnings: MDNI!! non-proofread smut, belated birthday sex lmao
OH SHIIIT GUESS WHO FINALLY HAS WIFI BACK!! (ME!!) i'm sorry i'm coming back and posting a short chapter but it kinda made sense to stop where i did at the end hehe :) the next chapter (along with my mini christmas with mechanic!noah series) should hopefully make up for that <3
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
You woke up to warmth, to quiet, and to an uncomfortable ache in your neck.
For a long moment, you didn’t move. The air in the room was rather cold, so you tugged the covers up over you and Noah a little more, and snuggled back up to him with a little content smile as you felt his chest rise and fall beneath you.
You turned a little, careful not to wake him, and your eyes found his face.
His hair was a mess, falling across his eyes and into his face. His lips were slightly parted, and there was the faintest crease between his brows as he snored softly.
Your brain, betraying you, decided to think back to his notebook, to the lyrics he’d written. Was I not good enough? Worthy of being loved?
And looking at him now, so still and quiet, so peaceful, you couldn’t understand how he ever believed that. You couldn’t believe that nobody had ever loved him before… because it was so easy.
This morning, he looked peaceful. He looked rather human in a way you hadn’t seen before. All the teasing and sarcasm and arrogance was gone, and right now you were looking at the real Noah.
You lifted a hand slowly, brushing a stray hair from his face, your fingertips lingering against his temple. He stirred a little, his arm tightening around your waist.
“Idiot,” you whispered softly, your voice barely audible. “You’re not alone.”
You didn’t even know if you meant for him to hear it. Maybe you just needed to say it aloud, just to make it real somehow.
Your eyes drifted to the sunlight that was spilling onto the bed through the gap in his curtains. It must still be early. And as you lay there, you realised you didn’t want to move. Not now, and maybe not ever.
You didn’t want to wake him or break whatever fragile thing this was.
So you stayed there. You let your fingers trace the tattoos on his chest. Watched his chest continue to rise and fall, and tried not to think about how this really made you feel… how you were really catching feelings for him.
He started to stir not long after. A sleepy hum left his throat as he blinked one eye open, a sleepy smirk forming when he realised you were watching him.
“Staring at me while I'm asleep?” His voice was deep, a little rough from sleep. “That’s kinda creepy, babe.”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. He caught your hand before you could pull away, lacing his fingers through yours. His thumb brushed over your knuckles lazily.
“Morning, sweetheart.” He mumbled through a lazy grin
“Morning.” You said back, though it came out quieter than you expected.
For a moment, you both just lay there with each other. There was no teasing, no jokes, just your hand in his. Fuck, he wasn’t sure if a girl had ever stayed this long in his bed. Usually, after sex, they go on their way and leave him before the sun would rise, leaving him full of emptiness and regret. But this morning, the both of you came to the realisation that maybe neither of you had to be so alone anymore...
“C’mere.” Noah tugged you impossibly closer.
“I am here.” You chuckled, fighting a smile.
“Mm, nope. Not close enough.” He said, and before you could argue, he was sitting up and pulling you gently into his lap.
“Noah!” You laughed quietly.
He buried his face in your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck.
“Mmh. You’re warm.” He said against your skin, pressing gentle kisses to where your shoulder met your neck.
You rolled your eyes, but your arms slipped around him anyway, your fingers brushing the nape of his neck. He still smelled like sleep and soap and whatever cologne he uses.
Neither of you spoke for a while, you just sat there together, in your own little world sharing sleepy morning kisses, not feeling a need to fill the silence between you.
Noah had never let himself feel so vulnerable like this. He was afraid maybe he was giving a bit too much of himself, since you made it clear you didn't like him quite the way he liked you. However, what he didn’t know was that you were afraid of the exact same thing. You told yourself maybe you should slow down a little, because Maya’s words still played in your head., and you didn’t want to get hurt.
But when his kisses became hungrier, it made it almost impossible to pull away. His lips trailed from yours back to your neck, his teeth grazing the soft skin, making your stomach flip. One large hand slid down your back slowly, until his fingers splayed almost possessively over your ass, pulling you tighter against him.
You could feel him hardening beneath you, thick and prominent even through his pants, sending a shiver down your spine. A soft gasp slipped your lips as his other hand moved from your hip, he pulled away from your neck and cupped your face in one hand, forcing your eyes on him.
“Can I eat you out?” He asked, already breathless, eyes dark.
You swallowed hard. That's one thing he’s not done before, and you felt a little nervous. Panic crossed over you, you worried a little and started to feel quite self concious but then-
You whimpered as his hand suddenly slipped under your tank top, cupping one of your breasts, his thumb brushing your nipple.
“It’s okay to say no, y'know.” He said, “We can just keep doing this-”
“No,” you shook your head, “I want it. Please.” You said, watching a lazy grin spread across his face.
“As you wish, princess.” He smirked, and with a surprising gentleness, he guided you off his lap and laid you back against the pillows.
He kissed your lips, then your jaw, then your neck. He took his time, kissing down your body, his teeth grazing your flesh every now and then as he looked up at you through his lashes. He pushed your top up, exposing the soft skin of your tummy as he continued on his way down.
When he hooked his fingers into your shorts, he looked up at you as if to ask for permission again. And when you gave a soft, dizzy nod of your head, he tugged them down.
“Oh, baby…” He grinned, his eyes lighting up like a kid on christmas, “What do we have here?”
His large hand cupped you over the lace thong you had slipped on last night before coming back to him. It was nothing too special, but he looked quite delighted.
“Is this what you wanted to show me last night?” He asked, smirking evilly as his fingers traced over your lower lips, tpuching everywhere excpet for where you needed him.
“Mhm.” You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak too much.
“Oh, babe. The birthday gifts just don’t end, do they?” He grinned before leaning down, and he kissed you over the lace, then his tongue poked out, and you felt the warmth of it along with his breath as he groaned against you. “Fuck, can’t wait to taste you properly.”
This was it. This was how you die. With Noah Sebastian’s head buried between your thighs.
“Don’t wanna take this off. It’s too pretty,” he pouted, his thumb slipping under the waistband of the underwear, “But I know what's underneath is even prettier… isn’t it, baby?”
Seriously. This will be the death of you.
You couldn't answer, you felt too dizzy, and he could tell. He chuckled softly before tugging the lace down, and you moved your legs, letting him take them off and gently throw them down on the floor along with your shorts.
He let himself settle between your thighs properly this time. His broad shoulders pushed your legs wider, and the cool air of the room hit your exposed core, making you shiver again. Then his warm breath followed, ghosting over your slick folds, and you felt his thumbs gently part your lips, exposing everything to his hungry gaze.
“Can’t believe I’m the only one you trust to touch you here…” He said, almost trancelike as his thumb traced a gentle circle over your entrance, gathering some of the wetness before sliding it up to graze over your clit, making you squirm.
He watched your reactions carefully, noting down in his mind every hitch in your breath, every time you’d involuntary clench around nothing, every little sound. Then, he parted his lips, the tip of his tongue dragging tortuously along your inner lips, avoiding your clit, avoiding your entrance.
“Noah, please…” You whispered, though it sounded more like a gasp, your body arching- though that was soon stopped as his hands came down on your stomach, holding you in place.
“Hm?” He lifted his head slightly, feigning innocence. “You want something, babe?”
You nodded frantically, not caring how stupid and desperate you looked.
“Stop teasing… please just… touch me… there.”
He chuckled softly, smiling up at your frustration.
“Here?” He asked, his tongue flicking just below your clit.
“Higher! There!” You insisted, growing even more desperate.
He decided to give in, his tongue flattening against you, giving one long, wet stroke from your core upwards, making you cry out. Then, he zeroed in. His lips closed over your clit and with the most perfect pressure, not too hard, not too soft, he gently sucked.
And fuck. You’ve never felt anything like it.
Your back attempted to arch again, feeling pleasure rush to your head. He moaned against you, the vibration only adding to the dizzying feeling.
He really took his time, and to be honest you didn’t expect anything less. He let it build slowly, licking long stripes through your folds, savouring the taste like this would be his only chance. He circled your clit with the tip of his tongue before sucking it again, varying the pressure and rhythm based on the sounds you made and the way your hips would try to move under his hands. And when you didn’t think it could get any better, you felt the tip of his index finger circle your entrance, before it slowly dipped in, sliding deep inside with ease thanks to how soaked and needy you already were. He twisted his wrist, then crooked his finger perfectly, finding that spot inside you as his mouth continued to work your clit.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he groaned against you, his voice muffled by your flesh, “Could do this forever.”
Fuck, it was all too overwhelming in the most delicious way possible. Your thighs trembled as a second long, thick finger joined the first, helping your orgasm build and build…
You tried to warn him, your nails dug into his shoulders, you whimpered, you whined, you babbled incoherently… but it only spurred him on. He sucked harder, his nose nuzzling against your mound, his fingers thrusting deeper and harder.
With a raw, needy cry, you came. It stole your breath and your vision for the briefest moment, he moved his hands and let your hips buck against his mouth as you rode it out, tears spilling from your eyes as he kept licking and sucking you through it, drawing out all he could until you were whimpering, pushing weakly at his head.
“Too much… Noah, too much…” You panted, feeling boneless and utterly spent.
Slowly, he lifted his head, his lips and chin glistening wetly in the morning light. His eyes were still dark as he took in the sight of the wreckage he’d made of you- trembling limbs, tear streaked cheeks, chest heaving. He gently slipped his fingers out of you, and crawled back up your body, kissing a trail up your stomach and between your breasts again.
“How was it?” He asked against your lips.
“...Amazing.” You breathed, still catching your bread as he kissed you once on the lips, and you could taste yourself on him.
God, the sight of him, he was hard as rock beneath his pants, his eyes still dark and needy… it ignited something within you again. He was so good to you, and now you wanted to see him lose control.
You pushed against his chest, gently but firmly. Understanding flickered in his eyes, and he flipped the two of you again. He was now laying with his back against the mattress whilst you swung a leg over his hips to straddle him again. You reached down, tugging down his sweats impatiently, freeing his cock- thick and flushed at the tip, veins prominent against the hard shaft, already leaking... you bit your lip, taking him into your hand and looking into his eyes as you gave him one pump in your hand, then carefully lifted yourself up. He helped to guide the head towards your entrance, then slowly, you sank down onto him, biting down harder on your lip as you felt the delicious stretch.
“Shit… ohh fuck.” He groaned as you sunk down completely, burying him deep inside. The sensation was intense for the both of you, you were so tight, warm and wet around him, and you were still sensitive.
But fuck, you felt so full.
“That’s it… get comfortable. Only move when you’re ready.”
You nodded and began to move, suddenly unsure of what to do. You rolled your hips experimentally at first, trying to find a rhythm and an angle that dragged him deliciously against that spot inside you. You braced your hands on his broad chest, and a lazy smirk spread across Noah’s lips as he watched you above him, his hands coming to rest on your hips. He enjoyed the view above him, the bounce of your tits still confined in your bra, the glowy sweat on your skin, the concentration on your face… but he could tell you weren’t sure how to do this.
“Mm,” he hummed after a moment, and you could already tell he was about to say something that’d make you want to smack him, “Is that all you’ve got, babe? C’mon, ride me like you mean it.”
“Shut up.” Your brows furrowed as frustration took over. Your movements faltered for a second, before stubborn determination set in. You lifted yourself higher off him before coming back down with more force, your walls squeezing around him as you did so.
“Fuck.. that’s better.” Noah groaned though gritted teeth, his smirk vanishing.
So you did it again, and again, riding him harder, faster, messier. You watched Noah squeeze his eyes shut as you continued, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the room along with his groans and your breathless gasps.
You shifted your hips again, trying to angle him just right… but every time you bounced on him, the perfect spot was still frustratingly out of reach. Noah was watching you struggle, panting beneath you. His dark, heavy lidded eyes tracked every movement, every tilt of your hips, every time your brows drew together in frustration. He chuckled, one hand coming up to brush his thumb against your cheek.
“Can’t quite find that sweet spot, huh?” His voice was raspy as his other hand remained on your hip, his thumb digging into where your thighs met your hips, controlling your descent slightly on the next downstroke, slowing you down agonisingly. “Driving yourself crazy trying to make yourself cum on my cock?”
You whimpered, shaking your head stubbornly even as he told the truth. You lifted again, shifting your hips again, determined to get his dick to grind against that spot perfectly this time…
And as you came back down, you felt it, a spark of white hot pleasure as the head dragged against that ridge inside you. Your mouth dropped open in a silent cry, your eyes falling shut. And just as you were about to do it again… you were stopped.
Hands came around you, and before you could even process what was happening, he flipped you onto your back again.
Your gasp was cut off as the air was stolen from your lungs, because his weight was pressing down on top of you, and with one arm, he hooked your knee up, resting your leg over his shoulder. He planted one hand firmly beside your head, and did not hesitate before slamming back into you, burying himself to the hilt with one rough, mean thrust.
“Fuck-” The cry tore from your throat. Somehow he was even deeper than before, and hitting that spot you couldn’t quite find just now.
“That the spot, baby?” He growled against your ear, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.
He didn’t wait for an answer, or for you to say anything, because he dragged his cock almost all the way out, before pounding back into you.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The bedframe embarassingly banged against the wall with each thrust of his hips, it was as if he was fucking you like he was purposely trying to break the damn bed, and he was burying himself so deep, all you could do was pant and claw your nails against his skin.
“Look at you taking my dick, baby… oh.. who would’ve thought.” He chuckled darkly against your skin again before his lips pressed a soft kiss to your neck.
His free hand slowly dragged between your bodies, finding your already overstimulated clit, brushing the rough pad of this thumb over it just once, making you whine and shudder.
“Noah!” You groaned, though it came out as more of a whimper.
“Wanna feel you cum on my cock, baby… wanna feel that tight pussy squeeze me… look how well she’s taking me.”
You shook your head, but it was no use, because you could already feel the pleasure building within you again with every stroke. You gripped onto his bicep with one hand, the other raked your nails down his sweat slicked back, and all you could do was sob as it consumed you, cries of overwhelming pleasure as you came around him.
Feeling you pulse and clamp around him sent Noah over the edge too, with a guttural groan muffled against your shoulder, driving himself into you one last time, he was buried balls deep as he came.
He collapsed onto you for a moment, the two of you panting, trying to catch your breath. The room now smelled like sex, a little sweaty, salty, musky. His cologne and your perfume mixing together as your bodies stayed stuck together.
He slowly softened inside you, but made no move to pull out just yet. He lifted his head slightly to look down at you, and pressed a surprisingly gentle kiss to your trembling lips before carefully shifting his weight off and pulling out.
You flinched slightly at the sensation, and now everything felt hypersensitive. The cool air felt like a burn to your exposed core as a messy mixture of his release and yours trickled out of you and onto the already ruined sheets.
Noah watched, his lips parted slightly as his hand caressed your thigh, keeping you open for him. He leaned down a little, and you felt his warm breath ghosting over you again.
“Noah what are you-”
“Gotta clean my mess up.” He said through a wrecked smirk, but the moment his tongue swiped through the mess between your thighs, you gasped, your legs trying to clamp shut as you smacked at his shoulder, but when that didn’t stop him, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging at it in protest.
“Ahh! No, no, no… too much, Noah…!!” You whimpered weakly, tugging at his hair again until he looked up at you.
He froze immediately, watching up at you with concern in his features. Instead of insisting or teasing again, he simply pressed a soft kiss to your trembling lower belly.
“Okay,” he whispered against your skin, his voice surprisingly soft, “Okay…” He kissed that same spot again, just below your navel before pushing himself back up, and coming to lay beside you.
He pulled you into his side, pressing gentle, soft kisses over any spot of skin he could find.
How the fuck were you not supposed to catch feelings when you two act like this?
“I’m sorry if I was too rough or-”
“No, you were perfect… I don’t think I’ve ever came so hard.” You say through blushing cheeks as you tilt your head to look at him.
Then, just as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, his phone rang.
He frowned, reaching over on to the nightstand for it.
“...It’s your uncle?”
Your brows furrowed as he answered.
“Hey-”
“Where the hell are you? Noah, have you forgotten we still open on Saturdays? It’s almost 9am!!”
“SHIT!!” You gasped, your eyes widening. You had completely forgotten you still had work today, you didn’t plan on coming home with Noah after the party, and you certainly didn’t plan on staying.
“...Was that y/n? She’s not in either but I know she said she was going out last night… are you two? Did you two-”
“No!!” You gasped, “No! Steve, I’m… I just stopped by Noah’s place on my way in! I came over to get his ass out of bed.”
Noah turned his head, giving you a filthy smirk.
“More like taking my ass to bed-”
“We’ll be there in 20.” You said, before reaching over to press the red hang up button on his phone.
“I think he knows, babe.” Noah chuckled, giving you a lazy, fucked out smirk.
“No he doesn’t! There’s nothing to know!”
“Mmhm,” he patted your thigh, “Keep telling yourself that… hey, do you want a coffee or.. take a shower or something? I don’t care how I look at that place but-”
“Uh…” You sat up straight, pulling your top down, covering your bra again and pulling his sheets back up so it at least covered you up to your waist. “Do you think we could leave now, you could drop me home so I can quickly get changed then maybe we could get a coffee before going in?”
He smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Sounds perfect to me.”
…
“We’re definitely getting fired.” You said as you took a sip of coffee, sinking into his passenger seat.
“Hey, Steve likes me too much to fire me… you on the other hand.”
“Shut up!” You swatted at his arm, despite the smile creeping on to your lips.
When you pulled up to the garage, you took a deep breath. You’d never been late before, that’s one thing you were so proud of, but now you were walking in 20 minutes late, limping slightly thanks to the guy by your side.
“There you two are!” Steve called, rolling out from under the car he was working on. “I almost had to call the police, y/n’s never been late before!”
“Well, blame him.” You said, shooting Noah a playful glare.
“Yeah… my bad.” Noah said, “It’s reallt hard to get out of bed when there’s a pretty girl laying with me.”
You scoffed, shaking your head, trying to play it off as if he wasn’t talking about you…
“Hey, y/n, don’t start getting jealous!” Your uncle laughed, and you and Noah both shared a look.
“I’ve got work to do!” You said, before rushing away into your office, shutting the door behind you with a long sigh.
What. The. Fuck.
As you sat down at your desk, your brain finally had time to process what had happened- both last night and this morning. You and Noah had finally agreed to being friends with benefits… but scarily it felt like you were more than that. Because you always thought that being friends with benefits with someone meant that you didn’t have feelings for them, it was just for fun. Just sex.
Shit. You worried that this might not be as easy as you hoped.
Still, you got on with your day. Saturdays were usually pretty easy, or the mornings were at least. Sometimes it’d get a little busy in the afternoon, but you didn’t really notice today. Because your mind was somewhere else the entire shift.
You needed to talk to Maya. She was always the most logical friend, where Jess would encourage all your bad decisions, Maya was your voice of reason. You needed to tell her about your situation with Noah, and how you feared you wouldn’t be able to keep up the “just friends” act.
So on your break, Noah let you sit in his car whilst your uncle took an important call in the office, and you made your own important call to Maya.
ring ring.. ring ring..
“Hey, sorry I can’t answer your call right now! Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!”
Voicemail? That’s weird. Her phone is literally always glued to her hand...
You didn’t leave a message, you just hung up. And called Jess instead.
And of course, she picked up on the second ring.
“Hi!” She beamed through the phone. “Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah-”
“Good, okay so I’ll cut to it- did you and Noah leave together last night?” You could practically hear the grin in her voice.
“Maybe…” You couldn’t help the smile creeping up on your lips.
“Eee!” She squealed, “I noticed the two of you disappeared! So… what happened? Did he just drop you back or…?”
“Well… I might’ve gone back to his place.”
“YOU DID?!”
You couldn’t help but blush as you thought back on it all, and for once it didn’t make you feel stupid.
“Yeah… turns out it was Noah’s birthday so I might’ve stayed the night…”
For a moment, Jess was quiet, just long enough to make you feel suspicious- but then she chirped back up again.
“Wait. You stayed at his place on his birthday… did the two of you-”
“Yep.” You could feel your cheeks hurting from how hard you were grinning, “But I was kinda tired last night so we just kissed, but oh my god, Jess. This morning…!”
“Morning sex?” She giggled, “You lucky bitch!”
“But we kinda forgot it was Saturday today so it made us pretty late for work. Anyway, we talked last night about the whole… situation. And I can finally say that now we're officially friends with benefits.”
“FINALLY!!” Jess gasped, far too dramatically, “Oh my god, I’ve been waiting for you to tell me this!! How do you feel? How does he feel? Wait no, tell me how you feel first..”
You stared out the window for a moment, chewing the inside of your cheek.
“I… don’t know,” you admitted truthfully, “It’s supposed to just be fun, that’s what we agreed on. No strings. But, Jess, the way he kissed me last night, and this morning… It’s like…”
Like he meant it. Like it wasn’t casual at all.
“Like he’s used to that shit?” Jess scoffed, her attitude suddenly shifting confusingly quick. “He hooks up with tons of girls, don’t overthink it. And please don't catch feelings.”
Weird. She’s the one who encouraged this all along.
“Right…” You nodded slowly, slumping further into your seat. “Oh, I tried calling Maya just now but she didn’t answer, I wanted her opinion on it, on what I should do, but she didn’t answer. Do you know if everything’s okay?”
Jess was silent.
“...Jess?”
“Yeah!”
“...You hesitated.”
“No I didn’t!” She tried to play it off.
“Yes you did. Has something happened?”
Jess let out a slow, slightly uncomfortable sigh.
“We uh… might’ve had an argument this morning.”
Your eyebrows shot up.
“You and Maya? About what? You guys have never argued before!”
“I know,” Jess groaned, “Look, it wasn’t a big deal. She just told me something then I snapped and it got messy!”
“What did you both say?”
“I don’t wanna get into it.” She said a little too quickly, “It was something small, something stupid. She’ll call you back though, she's probably still sulking, don’t worry.”
“Jess.”
“What?”
“...You’re acting weird.”
“I’m hungover!” She groaned, “Seriously, don’t think about it too much… get back to the fun stuff! Noah, naked, the-morning-after-his-birthday sex…”
You rolled your eyes and tried to forget about what she had just told you, and told her about your night- and morning- instead. But in the back of your mind, it lingered.
Jess was never one to start an argument, and with Maya of all people?
Something really must’ve gone wrong…
…
The setting sun cast orange rays through your office window, blinding you. Squinting against the light, you closed the blinds for the day, glancing over at the clock.
Home time! Finally.
Except you couldn’t go home… or at least not by yourself. Because you didn’t have your car, and you were too tired to walk. So you picked up your bag and walked through to the garage.
Noah was putting all his tools away, running a hand through his messy hair, but he looked up the second he heard your footsteps.
“Wanna ride?” He asked, a smirk plastered on his face. “Home, I mean. You already rode me this morn-”
“Noah!” You hissed, glancing over at your uncle from the corner of your eye, but he was too busy to be listening in on the two of you.
“Sorry, babe.” He chuckled, and you handed his car keys over to him and followed him out towards his car, saying goodbye to your uncle on your way out.
“Thanks again for letting me sit in here on my break.” You said as you climbed into the passenger seat.
“No problem,” he smiled, turning the keys in the engine, “So, who did you call? Jess? Maya? You got any new gossip for me?”
“Yeah, actually.” You said, turning to face him, “Jess and Maya had an argument…”
He froze for a second, just long enough for you to notice it if you hadn’t been staring at how his fingers looked wrapped around the wheel.
“Oh,” he said, trying to sound casual, “What about?”
“She wouldn’t tell me,” you sighed, “But Maya not answering her phone?... that’s not normal. She’s not like that. Something feels really off.”
Noah swallowed hard.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Maybe.” You frowned, your head leaning against the window, “But they never argue. And Jess said she was being weird…”
“I’m sure they’ll work it out,” Noah said, his jaw tensing for a moment before he forced it loose, “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. That word shouldn’t make your stomach flip the way it does.
Before you could respond, or say anything at all, Noah’s phone buzzed in the cup holder. Once, then twice, then three times.
You didn’t look at it directly, but you saw the way the screen lit up. And you knew what kind of guy he was, and what the messages would most likely say- some variant of flirty message followed by are you free tonight? from other girls who wanted him.
And of course they did. Look at him.
You hated the way it made you feel when you thought about it. You’d never admit to being jealous… but you were. You 100% were. You’d just never confess to it out loud.
But the feeling had been eating away at you all day ever since Jess said he hooks up with tons of girls, don’t overthink it. Because the way he treated you last night, the way he treated you this morning… the way he’s always been with you… you couldn’t imagine him treating every hookup like that.
His phone buzzed again, and this time his eyes darted towards it. He reached a hand out and quickly put it on silent before putting it back.
Your heart ached.
Because how the fuck were you supposed to keep this casual when he treats you like you mean the world to him.
You stayed quiet for the rest of the drive home, and Noah noticed. He kept glancing over, trying to read your mind, trying to work out what you were thinking and feeling… but he couldn’t. So he asked,
“Are you okay?”
You took a deep breath in.
“Yeah. I just… well, there’s something I want to talk about.”
“...Okay.” He said, a little hesitantly.
“I don’t know how to say this without sounding.. I dunno, stupid and clingy?... but if we’re gonna keep doing this whole friends with benefits thing…”
Noah gave you a little nod as if to say he’s listening.
“I was wondering if maybe… fuck it sounds so stupid. I... No. No! Pretend I never said anything.”
Noah’s brows knitted together as he glanced over at you.
“Hey,” he frowned, “If there’s something you want to ask, just ask. It’s not stupid, babe. I want you to be happy, and if there’s something you have to say, then just say it.”
You let out a long exhale, before giving him a short nod.
“...I was thinking... I don’t want you sleeping with anybody else.”
Noah’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting you to say that.
“...You don’t?” He asked.
“No,” you shook your head, “I want to be the only one from now on… if you’re okay with that.”
The silence between you felt too heavy, and too long. But you watched a little smirk spread across his face, you saw the way he licked his lips, slow, like he was thinking, processing, and maybe a little surprised.
“Sounds like you wanna be my girlfriend.” He teased, "Are you just jealous?"
“No!” You glared at him.
“It’s okay,” he said, “I kinda like it.”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t ignore the way your cheeks burned.
“I’m serious, Noah. If you want this with me… I want it to only be me. It probably sounds stupid and selfish of me but… I don’t want to be just another one of the girls texting you.”
Noah let out a small sigh, then he reached over, resting his hand over your thigh, his thumb brushing over your leggings.
“You are not just another one of the girls,” he said, “And if it matters to you, if that’s what you want… then I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“You’re not?” You whispered, a little taken back.
“No,” He said honestly and firmly. “I don’t want to.”
Your heart fluttered.
“But that means,” he added, his tone playful, “You can’t sleep with anyone else either.”
“I wasn’t planning to.” You scoffed.
“Good.” He smirked, his eyes back on the road, “But… I should warn you...”
“Warn me about what?” You asked, your brows drawn together.
He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, that stupid confident glint in them that told you he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
“I’ve got a lot of needs…”
You blushed so hard you almost felt a little light headed.
“Fuck off Noah-”
“So, if I’m down to one girl,” he hummed, leaning back in his seat with a satisfied little smirk, “You should probably prepare yourself.”
Your jaw dropped.
“You’re such a sick-”
“I’m just kidding!” He laughed, before adding, “Kinda.”
You sighed, shaking your head as you glanced back towards the window.
He was silent for a moment, you both were, until he tapped your thigh gently.
“Hey,” he said, and you turned your head back to him, “If this is just us now… I’m good with that. More than good.”
Before you had a chance to say anything else, he pulled up outside your house. And weirdly, for the first time ever, you wished the drive was longer.
“Thanks for the ride.” You said as you reached for your bag.
“You’re welcome.” He said with a soft smile, “Uh… so I’m busy tonight, but I was wondering tomorrow… can I see you? Maybe we could go for dinner or watch a movie… or both? I don’t really care, I just… wanna see you.”
He almost sounded nervous.
“Sure.” You said, not even bothering to hide the grin on your face. “See you tomorrow.”
His eyes softened the way they always did around you as you reached for the door, getting out and stepping onto the curb. You gave him a little wave as you walked up to your door, and he waved back.
Only once the front door shut behind you, did he exhale, sit back and finally reach for the phone he’d been ignoring the entire drive.
It was flooded with messages.
All from one person.
You said you were sick Noah??
Are you fucking serious?
I can’t believe you’d seriously cancel plans with me to spend your birthday with her???
You know she doesn't even like you, right???
What the hell is wrong with you
You know how I feel about you
This isn’t fair
ANSWER ME
DONT IGNORE ME WTF
NOAH SEBASTIAN DAVIS!!
He dragged a hand over his face, letting out a long sigh before cursing under his breath. He hadn’t even thought about her last night, not even once, because he’d been too busy with you. Busy laughing with you, kissing you, holding you, waking up tangled up with you…
Fuck, when he was with you it was like the rest of the world didn’t matter, it didn’t exist.
But now he was in the middle of a mess he wasn’t sure how to get out of.
Because he didn’t care about her. But he cared about you. He didn’t ever listen to the crap she had to say, but he always listened to you.
And he knew from the moment you told him that Jess and Maya had an argument, that the secret had gotten out.
That Jess found out that Maya and Noah had been hooking up.
I’m so excited to announce that there will be a Part Two of Fresh Bruises, with at least ten chapters :)
I’m really happy I decided to continue this series, even if maybe not everyone will be interested. It’s always such a joy to write for characters that mean so much to me, and underground fighter! Noah is definitely one of them.
Soon (but also not TOO soon lol), you’ll get the first chapter of this new (but also old) series, with new characters, more drama, more action, more mystery, and both new and old faces returning.
I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”
okay but imagine this in the reverse. when i left new jersey as a driver for the first time and sat in my car for about ten minutes wondering where the attendant was until a nice man tapped on my window and just said the words “New Jersey?” and when I nodded he told me to get out of the car so he could teach me how to pump gas (and nicely didn’t laugh at me when I shot gas out of the nozzle across the side of my car).
me and the boys (all from new jersey) went on a road trip out of state and had to get gas and it ended up being sort of a Group Puzzle for the gang as we huddled around the gas pump and nozzle and tank and whatnot. just picture five people standing around the gas tank opening like its part of an escape room. it was very silly.
Series summary: Noah didn’t expect that his one night stand from 2020 would keep a secret from him for years. But now, in 2024, as Bad Omens is back in Oregon, he wasn’t expecting to run into you while trying to buy some energy drink so he could endure the tour.
You looked even prettier, yes, but what caught his attention wasn’t your beauty, or the fact that you looked like you’d just seen a ghost just by looking at him.
It was, in fact, the little girl holding your hand, telling you she liked his hoodie. He really wasn’t prepared for was seeing himself reflected in that little girl who loved bees and cookies, not expecting to change his entire life for good.
author's note: I'm kind of insecure with this one cause I wasn't that inspired, I've been having some personal issues lately that gave me a hard time writing, but I gave my best <3 Hope you guys like it, EON is three chapters away from the end so I hope everyone likes the last three chapters that are coming!!
masterlist
The house, once bright and full of laughter, suddenly felt too small, as if the walls had inhaled sharply the moment that photo hit the internet and were now pressing inward, squeezing the air from your lungs.
The morning light that had felt warm and golden an hour ago now looked harsh, clinical, exposing every corner of the life you’d dared to believe was safe.
You stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen, arms hanging useless at your sides, the phone still burning in Noah’s white-knuckled grip. The image was branded behind your eyelids: Kara’s tiny profile turned up toward him, his own face softened in a way the world had never been allowed to see, the unmistakable mirror of their features side-by-side.
A stranger had stolen that moment and turned it into ammunition.
A small tug at the hem of your shirt snapped you back.
“Mommy?” Kara’s voice was tiny, threaded with that instinctive whine children get when they sense the emotional barometer in the room has plummeted. She was wearing crooked fairy wings, her cheeks flushed from sleep and leftover syrup. “Why is your face all scrunched and sad?”
Your throat closed. You opened your mouth and nothing came out.
Noah moved before you could, dropping to one knee so fast the fairy wings fluttered like startled birds. He scooped her up in one fluid motion, settling her on his hip the way he’d learned to do in the last few days, like it was the most natural thing in the world. His hand splayed across her back, big and protective, fingers spanning almost her entire torso.
“Hey, little bug,” he murmured, pressing his cheek to her curls for a second, breathing her in like oxygen. His voice was calm, trying to stay steady for her. “Mommy and Daddy have to do some super boring grown-up talking right now. How about we set up Bluey on the big TV with the special headphones? And…” he bounced her once, earning a surprised giggle, “I happen to know where the emergency gummy stash is. The good kind. The ones with the sour ones you like.”
Kara’s eyes went comically wide. “The green-and-red ones?”
“Extra green-and-red ones,” he promised solemnly.
She considered this bribe for half a second, then nodded with the gravity of a diplomat signing a peace treaty. “Okay. But Bee has to watch, Bun-Bun too.”
“Bee gets the best seat on the couch, so does Bun-Bun” Noah vowed.
He carried her into the living room, wings bouncing with every step, and you followed a few paces behind, feeling like you were floating outside your own body. He settled her into the mountain of pillows he’d started calling “the nest,” tucked the giant noise-canceling headphones over her ears as they swallowed half her face, and handed her the iPad already queued to the newest Bluey episode. Then he produced the contraband Haribo from the highest cabinet, the one she couldn’t reach even with her step stool, and poured a small, colorful mountain into a bowl shaped like a dinosaur. That mountain would undoubtedly rot her teeth but buy you the twenty minutes of desperate peace you needed.
Kara’s entire face lit up like the sunrise.
She immediately shoved three gummies into her mouth at once, cheeks bulging like a chipmunk, and gave Noah a sticky thumbs-up. He kissed the top of her head, lingered there for a long second, breathing her in again, then walked back to you.
The mask slipped the moment he crossed the threshold into the kitchen.
His shoulders sagged, the calm evaporating like smoke. “It’s everywhere,” he rasped, scrolling with a thumb that shook. “Reddit, TikTok, Instagram… someone already made a side-by-side of her face and mine from when I was younger.”
He turned the phone toward you. The numbers climbed in real time, obscene and dizzying. Quote tweets, reaction videos, conspiracy threads. Someone had slowed down an old Twitch clip of Noah saying he wanted kids someday and layered it with the grocery photo. Another account zoomed in on Kara’s little hand clutching his finger and captioned it “DNA doesn’t lie.”
Your knees buckled. You caught yourself on the counter, the granite cold under your palms. “They’re talking about my baby like she’s… evidence. Like she’s a plot twist.”
Noah’s jaw flexed, a hard, tight line. He locked the phone and set it face-down on the counter as if it were radioactive, a poisonous thing. “I’m calling Matt. Right now.”
He stepped into the hallway, and you heard the low, furious rumble of his voice. You caught fragments, sharp and clipped: “Do I really need to expose my baby to this?... I get it, Matt, I know it’s for her safety in the long run… no, we are not denying anything… yes, she’s mine, of course she’s mine… I will draft a statement within the hour… and I want that original photo taken down, I don’t care what it costs, make it disappear…”
Your legs could no longer hold you. You slid down the cabinet until you were sitting on the cool tile, drawing your knees to your chest, arms wrapped tightly around them as if you could physically hold yourself together. The unbridled joy of the last few days, the lazy mornings, the shared laughter, the feeling of a complete family, felt suddenly fragile, like spun glass. One careless stranger with a phone camera had shattered it, and everything you’d so carefully built in your little bubble was now exposed, laid bare for the world to pick apart.
Noah came back ten minutes later looking like he’d fought a war and only barely won. The lines around his eyes were deeper, carved with a new kind of exhaustion. He crouched in front of you, hands settling on your knees, grounding.
“Hey.” His voice was soft, urgent. “Look at me.”
You did. His eyes were red-rimmed, but blazing.
“Matt’s handling the takedowns. I’m writing the statement myself. No PR fluff. Just the truth.” He brushed a tear from your cheek you hadn’t realized had fallen. “We are acknowledging her. I’m acknowledging you. And then we ask nicely for privacy. And if they don’t give it, we go scorched earth.”
You laughed once, a broken, wet sound. “People are going to hate me.”
“Some people,” he corrected, his voice gentle but firm. “A very loud, very small fraction of people who don’t know the first thing about us. And the ones who matter? My friends? They’re already sending texts. They’re worried about her, they’re happy for me. For us.” He reached out, brushing a thumb across your damp cheek. “I’m not ashamed of either of you. I’m proud. I’m so damn proud it hurts. I just hate that the world gets to have an opinion on the best thing that’s ever happened to me before we were ready to share it.”
From the living room, the faint, tinny sound of the Bluey theme song drifted in, followed by Kara’s delighted, uninhibited giggle at something Bingo did. You both turned toward the sound instinctively, like flowers turning toward the last patch of sunlight on a stormy day.
“She doesn’t know yet,” you whispered. “To her, you’re just Daddy. The one who makes ceiling pancakes and lets her put sparkly clips in your hair and sings the bee song off-key.”
Noah’s smile was small, heartbreaking. “I want to keep it that way for as long as humanly possible. I just want to be ‘Daddy.’”
He helped you stand, arms sliding around your waist, forehead pressing to yours. “We’re still getting on that plane tonight. You go tie up your life in Oregon. And when you come back, we do this right. Out in the open. No more hiding.”
You nodded, breathing him in. “Okay.”
He kissed your temple, then rested his cheek there. “I’m in love with you,” he said quietly, like it was the simplest truth in the world. “You and Kara are my entire universe.”
The confession settled over you like the softest blanket and the heaviest armor all at once.
“I love you too,” you whispered back, the words trembling but sure.
He laughed once, watery, relieved and kissed you properly then, slow and deep and desperate, like he was trying to pour every promise he couldn’t yet say into your mouth.
The rest of the day was logistics wrapped in tenderness.
Noah wrote the statement in the notes app on his phone while Kara napped on his chest, her little hand curled around one of his necklaces, rising and falling with his breaths. When she woke, he let her “help” him type, her sticky fingers adding random letters and emojis until the draft looked like abstract art. He kept every single one.
He posted it at 4:17 p.m.
“A private photo of me with my daughter and her mother was shared without our consent. Yes, I have a daughter. She is three years old and the absolute light of my life. Her mother and I are committed to raising her together and ask that you respect our family’s privacy, especially our child’s. We will not be addressing this further. Thank you.” 🐝
He deactivated comments immediately.
Within minutes, the tone online began to shift. The ugliness was still there, it always would be, but it was being drowned out by an ocean of support from his true fans. They posted old Twitch stream clips of a younger Noah talking wistfully about one day having a family, created beautiful edits of him on stage with the bee emoji overlaid, and flooded the mentions with messages that simply read, “Welcome to the world, little one,” and “We love you, Noah.”
The original photo disappeared from every major platform by sunset.
You watched the tide turn from the couch, a sleeping Kara a warm, heavy weight against your side, her breath puffing softly against your arm. Noah sat beside you, his hand resting on your thigh, his touch a constant, quiet reassurance, as if he needed the physical contact to believe this new reality was real.
Later, as the sun bled orange across the sky, Noah drove you to the airport. Kara, emotionally wrung out, fell asleep twenty minutes in, head heavy on your arm, Bee clutched in a death grip.
At the terminal, Noah carried both suitcases and a cranky, half-asleep Kara who refused to be put down. He held her the entire time, through baggage check, through security, all the way to the gate, her little face buried in his neck, arms locked like a baby koala.
When the boarding call came, he finally set her down, crouching so they were eye-level.
“Okay, bug,” he said, voice gravel-rough. “Time for your big adventure with Mommy.”
Kara’s lip wobbled. “I want you to come too, Daddy.”
His breath hitched. “I know, baby. I know. But Daddy has to go sing for a little bit. And then I’m coming to get you, and we’re never ever being apart again for a long long time. Okay?”
Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Promise?”
He held up his pinky, still faintly purple from her crayon tattoo. “Biggest pinky swear in the history of pinky swears.”
She hooked her tiny finger around his and squeezed with all her might.
Then she launched herself at him, arms around his neck, and he caught her, holding her so tightly you saw his arms shake. He pressed his face into her curls and you watched his shoulders heave once, twice, a silent, wrenching sob he refused to let her feel.
“I love you,” he whispered against her hair. “More than all the stars, more than all the chocolate chips, more than-”
“More than bees love flowers,” she finished, voice thick with tears but steady.
“Yeah,” he choked. “Exactly that.”
He stood, and then it was your turn.
He didn’t speak.
Just pulled you into him, one arm iron around your waist, the other hand cradling your skull like you were made of glass. You felt his heartbeat, wild, frantic, against your ribs.
“I’ll fix this,” he whispered fiercely against your ear. “Everything. I’ll protect you both. Just come home to me.”
You nodded, tears soaking his hoodie.
He kissed you once, hard, desperate, tasting like salt and promises, then rested his forehead against yours.
Kara slipped her small, warm hand into yours, looking back at him over her shoulder every three steps, her little face a picture of longing, until you finally turned the corner toward the jet bridge.
The last thing you saw was Noah standing alone in the middle of the terminal, tall and heartbreakingly still, hands in his pockets, tears tracking silently down his face as he watched the space where his whole world had just disappeared.
The plane ride home was quiet. Kara, exhausted from the emotional whirlwind, fell asleep again halfway through the flight, her head a comforting weight in your lap, Bee still clutched in a death grip. You stared out the window at the endless expanse of clouds, the same ones she’d once thought were made of cotton candy, and felt the full, aching swell of a love and a fear so immense it felt too big for your body.
Your phone buzzed.
Noah [8:12 PM]: Land safe. Call me when you’re home. I’ll be awake. I love you both.
You attached the photo you’d secretly taken at the gate, Noah crouched, forehead pressed to Kara’s, both of them laughing in their own private bubble.
Noah [8:14 PM]: Setting this as my lock screen. Forever. My whole world, right there.
You smiled through your tears and typed back.
You [8:15 PM]: See you soon, Daddy. 🐝
And for the first time in three years, the word “soon” didn’t feel like a lie.
Series summary: Noah didn’t expect that his one night stand from 2020 would keep a secret from him for years. But now, in 2024, as Bad Omens is back in Oregon, he wasn’t expecting to run into you while trying to buy some energy drink so he could endure the tour.
You looked even prettier, yes, but what caught his attention wasn’t your beauty, or the fact that you looked like you’d just seen a ghost just by looking at him.
It was, in fact, the little girl holding your hand, telling you she liked his hoodie. He really wasn’t prepared for was seeing himself reflected in that little girl who loved bees and cookies, not expecting to change his entire life for good.
author's note: I'm so thankful for all the support EON is receiving, thank you so much!! I hope you guys love this chapter, comment your reactions <333
masterlist
You woke first, but this time, it wasn't the cold grip of panic that pulled you from sleep. It was the profound, almost sacred quiet. Kara was a warm, solid weight curled into Noah’s side, one of her small legs thrown possessively over his thigh, her mouth slightly agape. A tiny, dark patch of drool bloomed on the fabric of his hoodie.
He was on his back, one arm a locked, protective bar around her, the other flung above his head in utter surrender to sleep. His face, in these unguarded moments, was a map of a peace you’d never seen on him before; no guarded eyes, no carefully constructed half-smiles. Just… open. It was the face of a man who had finally been given permission to exhale after holding his breath for years.
You lay there, suspended in the stillness, watching the synchronized rise and fall of their chests. A warmth bloomed behind your own ribs, a love so vast and terrifying you couldn't measure its depths. This, waking up tangled together, had become your new, fragile routine.
Everything was still too new, too precious for Kara, who now sought the tangible proof of both her parents' presence at every moment.
The last three days had been a suspended animation of pure, unadulterated bliss.
You hadn't left the house at all.
The day after she learned the truth, Kara had woken up demanding “Daddy pancakes with extra chips and a smiley face,” and Noah had delivered with a fervor that bordered on religious devotion: three lopsided pancakes arranged into a winking face, complete with blueberry eyes and a crooked whipped-cream grin. She’d eaten them as if they were ambrosia, her little legs swinging rhythmically under the table, peppering every other sentence with a confident “Daddy,” as if she were trying to cram three years of the word into a single morning.
You had watched them from the kitchen doorway, your coffee cooling forgotten in your hands, and let the tears fall silently into the steam. Because you could. Because it was allowed now. The guilt was still a ghost in the room, but it was being slowly, steadily crowded out by a radiant, healing joy.
That afternoon, the band had shown up unannounced, bursting through the door with bags of groceries and a cacophony of joyful noise. Noah had clearly lit up the group chat with the news.
Jolly barreled in first, his arms full and a grin wide enough to power the city grid. “Heard there was an official title change in this household,” he’d boomed, dropping the bags and scooping a squealing Kara into the air without a second’s hesitation. “Which means we’re officially, legally, the coolest uncles on the planet. No take-backs.”
Folio followed, brandishing a toy DJ table that was comically, perfectly sized for a three-year-old, and you knew in that moment you were bidding a permanent farewell to quiet evenings. “For my favorite niece,” he declared, setting it up in the middle of the living room as Kara shrieked with delight. Ruffilo hung back, his usual quiet presence a calm anchor, but when Kara ran to him and solemnly tugged on his hand, he knelt without a word, allowing her to place a sparkly bee sticker directly on his cheek. He wore it like a badge of honor for the rest of the day.
They stayed for hours. Folio taught her how to “drop the beat” on the toy table; terribly, wonderfully off-time.
Jolly, with infinite patience, let her “tune” his extensive beard with a collection of tiny, rainbow-colored clips.
Nick read her three entire picture books in the most ridiculous voices imaginable, complete with full-body sound effects. And through it all, Noah was a constant, tactile presence; a steadying hand on her back, gentle fingers combing through her curls, lifting her high so she could “help” carry a light grocery bag. Every time she yelled, “Daddy, look!” he lit up from the inside, as if she were the sun and he was a planet finally pulled into its rightful, warming orbit.
At one point, you found yourself in the kitchen with Ruffilo, refilling juice cups, and he bumped your shoulder with a quiet, deliberate gentleness.
“He’s different,” he said softly, his gaze fixed on Noah, who was spinning a giggling Kara in slow, careful circles. “Like… the core of him is finally switched on. You did that.”
You had to swallow around the sudden, hard lump in your throat. “She did that.”
Ruffilo offered a rare, soft smile. “Yeah. But you were the one who let her.”
The second day after The Truth, you woke to the sensation of Kara crawling over you like a small, determined mountaineer, whispering directly into Noah’s ear, “Daddy, I had a dream about bees, and you were the king bee, and you had a crown made of honey.”
Noah groaned with theatrical exhaustion but pulled her down into the warm space between you, covering her face with kisses until her squeals of protest turned into breathless giggles. You stayed like that for another blissful hour, a lazy, intertwined pile of limbs and whispered, nonsensical secrets, the day stretching before you with no plans, no obligations, just the simple, profound act of being together.
Later, you took her to the backyard pool for the first time. She was initially terrified of the shimmering blue water, her little body rigid with fear, until Noah, without a second thought, jumped in fully clothed and began a dramatic performance as a flailing, drowning sea monster.
Ten minutes later, she was perched on his shoulders, shrieking with triumphant laughter as he “swam” her around the pool, her tiny hands fisted in his hair, her trust in him absolute.
You sat on the edge, your feet dangling in the cool water, and realized with a start that you hadn’t checked your work email once. The world outside of this sun-drenched bubble, with its deadlines and responsibilities, felt very, very far away.
But bubbles, no matter how beautiful, are fragile by nature.
The end announced itself with a soft, insistent buzz from your phone on the nightstand.
A reminder you had set a lifetime ago, before ceiling pancakes and the word “Daddy” had rewritten your universe:
In Three Days
Flight to Portland – 4:45 PM
Two seats
You stared at the screen until it dimmed to black, then flicked your gaze to the calendar widget beneath it, the digits seeming to mock you.
Three days.
That was all that remained of the emergency leave you’d begged your boss for. Three days until the scaffolding of your real life yanked you and Kara back to Oregon; to the familiar rhythm of daycare drop-offs, nine-to-five shifts, and the little apartment that suddenly felt achingly small and empty for everything your hearts had become here.
And you knew, with a sinking certainty, that Noah’s life, tethered to studios and tour buses, couldn't immediately follow.
You slipped out of bed with the caution of a thief, but Noah stirred anyway, his eyes cracking open, instantly alert in the way you were learning was intrinsic to new parents.
“Everything okay?” he whispered, his voice scratchy with sleep.
You nodded, but the motion felt like a lie. “Just… thinking.”
He studied your face in the half-light, reading the tension etched in the lines around your eyes, and carefully extracted himself from Kara’s octopus-like grip. She made a small, displeased sound but settled back into the pillows. He padded after you into the hallway, pulling the door almost shut behind him.
The kitchen was swathed in pre-dawn shadows. You busied yourself with the coffee maker, the clatter of beans and the gurgle of water a welcome distraction from the painful thrum of your own heart.
He leaned against the counter, arms folded over his chest, watching you with that quiet, unnerving intensity that once made you nervous but now only made you feel profoundly seen.
“Talk to me,” he said, the command soft but undeniable.
You exhaled, the breath leaving your body in a shaky, defeated rush. “My leave ends in three days. I have to go back. The flights are booked. Kara’s daycare spot… my job…” Your voice fractured on the last word, the weight of it all crashing down. “I can’t just… not show up.”
He was quiet for a long, suspended moment. Long enough that you were forced to finally meet his gaze.
His jaw was tight, his eyes stormy. “I know.”
You blinked, surprise cutting through the dread. “You know?”
“I’ve been looking at the calendar every single day since you got here,” he admitted, his voice low and rough. “Counting down the hours like it was a fucking doomsday clock.”
The coffee maker finished its cycle with a final, hissing sigh. You stared at the dark, bitter liquid and felt the truth claw its way up your throat, raw and desperate.
“I don’t know how to do this,” you whispered, the confession tearing from you. “I don’t know how to put her on a plane and fly away from you after… after everything.”
Noah pushed off the counter, closing the distance between you in two slow, deliberate steps until he was so close you had to tilt your head back to hold his gaze.
“Then don’t,” he said, the words simple and devastating.
Your heart stuttered. “Noah-”
“I’m not asking you to quit your job or uproot your entire life tomorrow,” he said quickly, his hands coming up as if to calm a spooked animal. “At least, not right this second. I’m asking for a plan. Something better than… than ripping her away from me every few weeks and hoping monthly visits will be enough to make up for a lifetime.”
He grabbed a folded sheet of paper from the counter, smoothing it out between you with a reverence that made your stomach clench.
It was a printout. A tour itinerary.
BAD OMENS – EU/UK HEADLINE TOUR
Duration: 20 days
Your stomach plummeted to your feet.
“Almost a month,” you breathed, the words tasting like ash.
He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours, holding your gaze with a fierce, desperate intensity. “I leave in four weeks. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. How to tell her.”
The silence that followed was immense, filled with the specter of that looming absence.
“And before I go,” he continued, his voice dropping to a gravelly, emotional whisper, “I want to legally be her dad. Not just the guy she calls Daddy when it feels right. I want my name on her birth certificate. I want custody paperwork that says I’m not a visitor in her life. I want the courts to know that if something ever happened to you-” His voice cracked, and he had to stop, his jaw working as he fought for control. “I want them to call me. Not your mom. Not a friend. Me.”
The tears came then, hot and silent, streaming down your cheeks without a sound. He wanted it. Not just in theory, but in practice. In ink and law.
“I’ve already talked to a lawyer,” he pressed on, quieter now, the words meant for you alone. “We can file the paperwork as soon as I’m back from tour. Joint custody, primary residence with you… wherever that is.”
He let the last word hang in the air, heavy with implication.
“Wherever?” you asked, your voice trembling, a fragile seedling of hope pushing through the cracks in your despair.
“You leave in three days,” he said, his eyes blazing with a terrifying, hopeful conviction. “Do what you need to do in Oregon. Wrap things up. And then… you and Kara move to L.A. when I’m back.” He rushed on, seeing the overwhelm in your eyes. “I know it’s a lot. I know I’m asking you to move your life away from your family, your friends, your job, your safety net. But I can pay your rent if you don’t want to live with me right away, even after you find a job here. I can help pay for your mom to travel out here weekly if that’s what it takes.”
The torrent of words was overwhelming, a tidal wave of solutions that only highlighted the sheer depth of his desperation to not be separated from his daughter. The sheer depth of his commitment. You felt dizzy, your mind struggling to process it all.
“I’m not trying to take her from you, Y/N,” he said, his voice softening as he moved even closer, his presence a solid, warm wall. “I’m trying to build a foundation so solid she never, for one second, has to question if I’m here to stay.”
Your knees felt weak. You gripped the cold granite of the countertop to steady yourself.
“I know the timing is shit,” he conceded, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “I know I’m asking you to trust me with everything that matters most in the world to you, right when I’m about to disappear for a month. But I’m not disappearing. I’ll call every single day. FaceTime from shitty hotel Wi-Fi at 3 a.m. if I have to. I’ll fly you both out for a weekend if there’s even a three-day gap. Whatever it takes.”
He stepped into the last of the space between you, his voice dropping to a hushed, intimate whisper that vibrated through your very bones.
“I lost three years because I didn’t know she existed. I’m not willing to lose one more day than I absolutely have to.”
The dam broke.
A sob, ragged and raw, tore from your chest.
You thought of Kara asleep in the next room, her world finally whole.
You thought of the little apartment in Oregon, the one that had once been your fortress and now felt like a cage waiting to lock you away from this light.
You thought of the way Noah had looked at you when she called him Daddy for the first time, as if the last, missing piece of his soul had clicked into place with a resonance that shook the universe.
“I’m scared,” you admitted, the words small and childlike.
“I know,” he said, his own vulnerability laid bare. “I’m fucking terrified, too. But we’ve survived harder things alone. We can do this together, if you’ll let me.”
He reached for your hand, his fingers lacing with yours as if they were always meant to fit together just so.
“Stay,” he said again, the word not a demand, but a plea. “Not unless you want to. Just… go to Oregon, and then come back to me. Let me come home to both of you. Let’s file the papers together. Let’s figure the rest out day by day, instead of ripping our hearts out every time it starts to feel safe.”
You stared down at your joined hands, his calloused and strong, yours trembling within them.
You thought of the life you had built alone, brick by careful, solitary brick.
You thought of the profound, soul-deep exhaustion of waking up alone.
You thought of Kara’s face, the potential confusion and heartbreak when she realized "Daddy" wasn't a permanent fixture in her daily life.
“Okay,” you whispered, the word leaving you on a breath, a fragile surrender to hope.
His entire body sagged with a relief so profound it was almost palpable, as if he’d been holding the weight of the world on his shoulders and had finally been allowed to set it down.
“Okay?” he repeated, his voice cracking with emotion.
You nodded, fresh tears spilling over. “I’ll… I’ll give you a final answer soon. But… we’ll figure it out. Together.”
He pulled you into him so swiftly the air left your lungs in a soft, startled rush. His arms banded around you, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other splayed across your back, holding you as if you were the only thing keeping him anchored to the earth. You felt a single, powerful shudder run through him; the final, physical release of a burden four years in the carrying.
You buried your face in the soft fabric of his hoodie, breathing in the scent of him: laundry detergent, faint traces of his cologne, and the unmistakable, sweet smell of maple syrup from yesterday's late night snack. The tears came harder then, a torrent of relief, terror, and a love so immense it threatened to obliterate you.
His lips brushed your temple first, a feather-light touch, a silent question.
You tilted your head up without a single conscious thought, your body answering for you.
The moment your eyes met, the last of the space between you evaporated. It had been shrinking for days, in brushing shoulders, in lingering touches, in shared breaths, but this was the moment it vanished completely.
He didn’t ask with words. He simply lowered his head, slow and deliberate, giving you every opportunity to pull away.
You didn’t.
The first kiss was soft, hesitant, reverent. His mouth was warm, tasting faintly of the salt from both your tears. You felt the subtle tremor in his lips, the shaky exhale he released against you, as if he’d been holding this breath since the moment he saw his own eyes staring back at him from a little girl’s face in a grocery store aisle.
You answered by parting your lips, just a fraction, and he deepened the kiss. Still gentle, still achingly careful, but now filled with a devastating certainty. One hand slid from the back of your head to cup your jaw, his thumb stroking away the track of a tear, and the kiss transformed into something that spoke every unspoken word:
I’m here.
I’m sorry.
Thank you.
Stay.
When you finally broke apart, your foreheads resting together, you were both breathing as if you’d run a marathon.
“Hi,” he whispered, his voice utterly wrecked.
“Hi,” you whispered back, a watery, disbelieving laugh catching in your throat.
His thumb brushed your swollen bottom lip, his eyes searching yours in the dim kitchen light, wide with wonder.
“I’ve wanted to do that for days,” he admitted, his tone soft and sheepish.
You smiled, small and trembling and utterly, completely real. “Took you long enough.”
He kissed you again, shorter this time, sweeter, a promise sealed twice over.
From the hallway came the soft, familiar shuffle of tiny, bare feet on hardwood.
Kara appeared in the doorway, her hair a magnificent, sleep-tousled halo, rubbing one eye with a tiny fist, her well-loved Bee dragging behind her by one wing.
She looked at the two of you, wrapped so tightly together, blinked slowly, and then her entire face illuminated from within.
“Daddy,” she declared, the word bright, sure, and perfect. “You’re hugging Mommy.”
Noah let go of you just long enough to open one arm in a wide, welcoming gesture. “C’mere, bug.”
She ran, her little feet slapping against the floor, and barreled into the both of you. Noah scooped her up effortlessly, and she squeezed your necks with all her might, a tiny, powerful force of love.
You held them both, your tears soaking into Noah’s hoodie, Kara’s soft curls tickling your chin, their combined weight the most beautiful anchor you had ever known.
Outside, the relentless California sun climbed higher, painting the world in relentless, hopeful gold.
Inside, the three of you stood in the quiet kitchen, a tangled, weeping, laughing knot of humanity, while the coffee cooled on the counter and the future...
Terrifying, vast, and suddenly, breathtakingly wide open, waited for you to step into it, together.
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