My Problems as a Soc Major
Being a student of sociology has interrupted my life in a few ways that I didn't really anticipate before I indulged. Simple things are becoming life altering decisions, no small act goes unanalyzed, and every encounter is like a tiny survey in my head. I apply everything to my learnings, even dating and especially what I see on social networks.
For one, for some reason when people hear sociology they literally think I can read minds. Yes, I am studying to be clairvoyant, a fortune cookie, a magician, or maybe clown college may seem more prestigious to you. When I have to explain what sociology is, it becomes difficult because there is little context for them. "We usually study about race and sexuality and inequality," is what I typically say. I used to try and provide a testable thesis and describe the process that a sociologist may go through for study, but I lose my listeners interest quickly. I guess the scientific method isn't as interesting as the Juggling 101 class they probably imagined as part of my course list.
There seems to be very little respect for this type of study, and I try to take it with a grain of salt. Some people attribute the theories to a "liberal agenda" or say that "it's just a _______. No one takes it that serious." And blank could be anything from a commercial, to a children's toy to a Facebook comment. I've had people tell me that sociology seems like "one of those majors that teachers just make up." Actually, I agree with that assertion. However, as a sociology major I would suggest that all learning is through an epistemological process where knowledge is processed through interactions - in that sense, all knowledge is "made up"from the perspective of the listeners, observers, and narrators. We learn through storytelling, narrations, plot movement and series of events. We know what we are told. Even the hard sciences do not make "facts," they make theories - theories to forever be tested until proven false and a new theory takes the thrown.
Another issue is that American culture is a very individualistic one. The American dream is based on being "self made," "pulling yourself up by the bootstraps," and building upwards through social mobility. This ideology is problematic because then some people do not want to hear that they behave in a manner that was dictated to them. Americans believe that everyone is an individual, is special, and that we all follow our own paths. So, telling Americans that they're following specific social scripts on how to dress, behave, think and feel is not only foreign, but unnerving and to a degree, a crass suggestion.
In one of my classes we were discussing the influence of society. Many of my classmates said that when they are home they do not behave any differently from out in the world. In rebuttal, I said that the home is not devoid of societal influence, and that if we had as much agency as they believe we do, "we'd be more pragmatic and men would wear dresses in the summer to keep cooler." To which, a male classmate said, "if I wanted to wear dresses, I would." Of course, my example was silly, but for a reason. I wanted to challenge the masculine image using something as simple as a dress. If I want to wear a dress, as a woman, I project certain narratives; that I am a woman, a feminine woman, that perhaps I am delicate or clearly not planning on much physical work for the day, so on. A man wearing a dress has his own narratives; weak, homosexual, sexual deviant, feminine, and more. I assume that my male classmate, as a black male, has had to navigate how to perform his masculinity through his clothing. Does he adhere to the uniform of the rappers and professional athletes that typically represent his race in the media? Or does he expand his narrative to include an image that others may consider more "white?" Though both have their differences, they are masculine male identities and he is comfortable with that narrative imposed upon him by his clothing choice. I do not have some crazy "make the men wear skirts" agenda, my point is simply that if we, as a society or a group of people, didn't have this sort of agreement on what a suit and tie or any other article of clothing means, (thus not having a social script for all to adhere to,) we might not make the same choices. And it all comes up in things as simple as getting dressed in the morning.
Once, I went on a date with a young man who seemed intelligent. Through our conversation I could see that he thinks a lot and puts much consideration into the world around him. And then, the conversation about my major arose. After a brief explanation from me, he tried to tell me how he himself is outside of society's influence. Though I understand it as him defending his ideology as an independent man, it still bothered me. To me, it's another form of saying that my studies are irrelevant, that they don't matter. It is saying that what I believe to be true is completely a myth. In some ways, it is like killing my religion (and a waste of four years tuition.) As he spoke, I wanted to point out his number of tattoos decorating his arms, the clothes that he was wearing, the way he styled his hair. For someone who is not influenced by society, he was performing the narrative of a young man very convincingly. I wanted to ask, "do you think if you were born 50 years ago you would still wear your tattoos on your arms for all to see? I doubt it because at that time typically only military men got tattoos and they were hidden." My patience wears thin in these sorts of interactions and I wish desperately that more people were open minded.
And then, my last and biggest problem being a sociology major is within myself. I have to acknowledge that even though I am some of some level of consciousness about many social issues in the U.S., I am an active participant in it. I help recreate the culture that I abhor and then spread it out for the rest of the world to see. I would suggest that much of the marketing towards women is geared to not only manipulate our insecurities, but to also inspire new ones as well. Many of us say that the beauty industry pushes a standard that is unobtainable for the average woman, but I have spent two years working in retail and helping women get closer to that standard. I realized that my job was based on women needing to feel ill equipped, ugly, and insecure, and use clothing, make up, and jewelry as a remedy. I criticize that there's only a narrow spectrum of beauty for women while I told curvy customers which dresses they shouldn't even bother trying on.
In my own performance, I am a sell-out. I keep certain comments to myself because they would look poorly coming from a female. I wear high heels and short skirts when I go out. I've made a decent investment in push-up bras. Before I wrote this post, I was cyber stalking harem pants on froever21.com. My sense of pretty is aligned with the rest of society. If two men were of the same build, clothing, heigh, and scruff, but one was white and one was black, I would probably assume worse of the black one. Not because I hate black people, but because I have internalized, much like the rest of my peers regardless of race,the narratives of blacks in America, whether they be true or false. I say I accept transgenders, and that having gender neutral bathrooms is a positive move, but if I were to have a child who grew to be trans, or a co-worker who was trans, I would probably think, "why can't you be normal?" Or maybe I would think, "is it that serious for you to wear a dress?" Because casual encounters with a social deviant may have novelty in that moment, but if I have to really sit and think of the repercussions of what I'm saying is plainly right in my every day life, the novelty wears off. Then, the challenges arise to my own identity, which I've spent much time trying to develop and understand. And when I think of that, I am no different from the boy in my class who says he could wear dresses if he wanted to. Sure, we could accept the change, maybe for a day - as a joke. But to accept it as a lifestyle? That, is the challenge.
