A World in Plain Sight

Often a world for me that lies right in front of people, but no one asks about. Filled with various writings, thoughts, and words.

[aworldinplainsight]

Back to Writing

Dear Universe,

A lot has seemed to happen since I last wrote to you. I got let go from a job, got a new job, starting talking to and, if Im being honest, falling for a guy, and bunch of small things that I honestly dont want to list.

Fun fact by the way, my name is not actually Emmett. Thats just a nickname an aunt gave me once, but its better to keep some things from the internet right?

Job-wise, it really has been a big culture shock. I went from doing something that I know is doing good for the world, to a job that is harder to see that connection to. Its been overwhelming and confusing and honestly I dont know what to do or think of it. So Im basically just being swept along the current that is my life.

Guy-wise...oh boy. I met him on this site, of all places. He's kind and sweet, and generally makes me smile whenever we message each other. Not to mention the fact that he is attractive (he's definitely way above me on the attractiveness scale). There's only a couple problems. First, I actually dont know his name. We just talk via tumblr. Second, we live in different parts of the world. I just desperately want to visit him, but unfortunately my own financial arrangement prevents me from doing so. Third, this is how the pattern always starts. I talk with a guy, we seem to lile each other, I start falling for him, we go on a date or two, and then nothing more. We stop talking and its almost as if he pretends it doesnt happen. So you can imagine how...cautious I am. This new guy and I, we will probably never meet. But that doesnt stop me from wanting to be his boyfriend and to support him. UGH. Plus all I want to do is message him like crazy, but cant not only because I dont want to lool like a crazy person, but because time zones suck.

Honestly, I dont know what to expect, what to do, or what to think. If you could just give me a nudge (and please be obvious, I honestly can be so stupid), that would be awesome.

-Emmett

[aworldinplainsight]

Day 3

Dear Universe,

Do you ever get those moments where after a long cry you just feel like the void? I mean, you are physically there doing your thing. But, emotionally you are just so drained that you don’t really react. That’s me right now. If someone asks me how I am, I use the generic “I’m alright” or “I’m fine” just to be polite and respond to the conversation. Yet, ultimately I don’t know how I am. Better than broken I suppose.

I started reading a book during my lunch at work. It definitely made the work day go by better. Work itself is fine. At least, its fine right now. Though the impending June deadline is approaching and I have nothing lined up for that yet. That’s a battle for another day. Surprisingly, it hasn’t hit me yet that next week is Spring Break. I figure when I start getting out of this haze I’ll actually start getting excited about having time off. Not quite at that point yet either.

That’s honestly about it. I don’t feel really anything except tired at this point. Though I promised myself that I would still write to you, oh infinite nothingness. If for nothing else, Ill use it as a therapy technique.

-Emmett

[aworldinplainsight]

Day 2

Dear Universe,

I get really tired of having these re-awakening of my hopeless romantic self. 

Every time its the same thing; something or someone makes me feel all mushy and sappy to start. Then whatever it is ends or leaves or somehow lets me know that this isn’t going to be a constant feeling of happiness. The result is a guy, who is too damn proud to actually talk with anyone about this, feeling like there is a metaphorical hole in my soul. I’d like to think of it like a chain-chomp from the Mario series. Sometimes he’s asleep, but then when something wakes him up its just constant chomping. 

Though deep down, I really do like the reminders of love. While that chain-chomp doesn’t get any easier to handle, it does remind me that love is out there and by extension I am also capable of love. Or at least I like to think so. Some people dream of fancy careers, traveling the world, or fancy things. All that is good and all, but I’m one of those people who dreams of love. Of being loved by someone who doesn’t need to love me but does so anyways. Of a guy who can willingly see past all of my faults and insecurities and makes me feel like I’m right where I should be. 

Is it crazy to keep putting myself through this hopeless romantic torture? Am I foolish for thinking that a guy in his mid-twenties, who is pretty much a novice when it comes to meeting people and getting to know them, can still find someone or experience the kind of love that often books and movies reserved for teenagers or straight couples?

-Emmett

[aworldinplainsight]

Day 1

Dear Universe,

The hopeless romantic in me led me to create this blog, in the hopes that I can find something. I honestly don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe it’s the cliche of trying to find myself through words; maybe its the stereotype of trying to find love or purpose. Regardless of what it is, here I am.  I saw a movie today. One that hit close to home with me. I never expected a movie centered around a gay character to ever show up in my lifetime (or at least, not a movie that wasn’t making/poking fun of a gay character anyways). It made me want to hope again. That’s something that I never thought I’d say to myself again. I want to hope for happiness. I want to hope for love. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like this.

So what does that mean? Well for starters, and to be extremely cheesy, I am going to go for a walk around a lake. Yes, I will be thinking about life the entire time. Yes, I will be secretly hoping that you (you being the universe) send someone my way. And Yes, I will be listening to cheesy music the entire time. 

-Emmett