Why’d You Only Follow Me When You’re High?

[cedarwool]

being an everything crafter is great but also sucks. like i want to get my watercolors out but i need to put away my microcrochet first. i want to do some leatherwork but my oil paints are on the table. i want to whittle but i'm using the bucket i catch wood shavings in to hold my papermaking mush. i want to write my book but my hands are too busy knitting a sweater. i want to code another video game but i'm too busy studying nalebinding. do you see my problem. the problem is that i need more hands

[wander-without-cause]

This is how I realized i was neurodivergent. My diagnosis of ADHD shocked no one.

[ruthyless-deactivated20140511]

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

[tardis-mind-palace]

Your brother is the best

[elrondbaggins]

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

[aliceinpunderland-blog]

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[only-tiktoks]

[britney-j-christ]

[softservecanine]

You’re completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.

[homunculus-argument]

I will not elaborate.

[weedsandwishes]

@sergle is correct

[my-dailydreams]

[theonion]

Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.

Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.

Full Story

[assindeto-deactivated20140621]

take me to art museums and make out with me

[cornputer]

But they said to not touch the masterpieces

[etherialism]

Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

[loremerchant]

This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[divorcedbasil]

vid i stole off reddit and feel like i need everyone to watch

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

[phinarei]

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

so my sister's dog is named communist gun, but we call him red. right? and every once in a while when she wants him to jump on someone she goes "red scare!" and recently ive been trying to get him to jump on people when i go "mccarthyism!" but it's not working yet

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

oh this is absolutely the wrong blog. please ignore

[dat-physics-gal]

i literally couldn't ignore this if i tried

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[c3rvida3]

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

[c3rvida3]

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Still no homo ?

[c3rvida3]

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[machinot]

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

[zazzedcoffee]

Who would win?

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🦀

Voting ended onFeb 5, 2023

[zazzedcoffee]

voter fraud, GO!

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Remaining time: 17041 days 2 hours

[brokenpostarchive]

Notes:

Second poll will remain open until 50 years from publishing

Bot options share a UUID, making a vote for either count for both

Previously, a vote in the first poll counted for both options in the second

A vote for the second poll increases the vote count for both polls, despite the first ostensibly being closed

[muntiller2]

What the fuck does the back end of this website look like

[lesbianalicent]

[bubobubosibericus]

Claiming AI would have ravaged us while posting from the grok website is some mad work

[byjove]

cats are great first pets for children because they immediately teach the child the consequences of overstepping boundaries and mishandling animals LMFAO. I grew up in a household with 5+ cats as an only child and every time I would come crying to my mom after I got scratched she would be like “what could you have done differently?”

people buy their kids reptiles and fish and hamsters and then find out they’re extremely delicate creatures that are not ideal for little humans to be responsible for but learning to refill a food bowl, scoop a litter box and dodge claws are things that young minds can grasp relatively easily while also having a furry friend. as much as it makes me cringe to see a toddler dragging a cat around, cats are far better equipped for babysitting than most of the traditional ‘let’s get our 5 year old a little pet’ animals. and it totally depends on the cat too, some won’t stand for it and will spend all their time avoiding the kid and some will willingly put up with being dressed in silly outfits.

[jackkdaniels]

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

[electricpentacle]

Ah, the fatal combination of having pride in my work but fuckall executive functioning.

[semtitulo]

who else has fantasized about the Nutrient Brick

[mariacallous]

[flintandpyrite]

Here are the 2024 vaccine recommendation schedules. They’ve already been wiped from the cdc site. Save them and share widely, especially to your friends with kids.