Like your favourite smell. A memorable photo. A heart settling place. Or even a calm time of the day. Illusions of happiness I’ve realised I probably well and truly took for granted. Some leaps of faith I took with an already predicted outcome. I’m not afraid of flying but I’m scared of planes because every time I open up a part of my heart it seems to be taken away at departure gates. Living minimally knowing I can but not granted recognition nor a grace for paying a now strangers rent when 3 serves of veggies would have been nice on my dinner plate. Working 4 years in desolate, isolated in literally back breaking conditions to realise 9times out of 10 all my now correspondents isn’t between friends but with work related questions/actions. To love some one unconditional by means of actually being your blood but devote more time to your work too ensure a home as food in it, the car has fuel in it, the phone had no debt on it. I was raised to be selfless not selfish. On more than one occasion I’ve been told, even screamed at. That shouldn’t be in this case. That good hearts get used and tossed. That the greedy begger will return to the soft hearted man.
Sleeping alone in queen sized beds.
Work when the sun isn’t up and getting home when it’s down.
One day weekends.
All routine.
I have clothing that belongs to others left to me for memories.
I recorded her laughing because sometimes it’s the only thing that gets me through a day.
I hold her toys because she’s not here to do it.
Some people don’t get it or understand it.
But everyday, you can’t regret taking that first breath.
Someone people don’t choose to be alone.
For some It’s just
Easier
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
areudirty
pixelskylines
romaincrisis
dailybridgerton
amandla
