I give up.
Guys, does anyone else ever feel dread when they wake up? Being so sad that your eyes opened and that you're breathing? I was doing better I thought, until I came home and now I'm just stuck in this endless loop of sadness. Forever walking around in a daze, not knowing what day it is. Not really caring to begin with. Such a chore showering has become, feeling accomplished that I managed to get up and do that. I haven't felt this tired in so long, all I want to do is lay here and sleep my day away. At least when I wake up I have less of a day to get through. I've managed to stay away from sharp objects for now, the urge to cut forever lingering, if I've done at least something right, it's not giving in to slicing my arms apart. It's getting cool again so it's not like I can't hide my arms, but I know the regret that will follow the second I cut will be too much. For now I'll control something I can.....food. Screw living guys.
