“I’ve always argued that Love is space
That ship sailed. It sailed away five years ago when I drove away from you.
For almost 8 hours I drove and I couldn’t get you out of my head.
Couldn’t stop replaying that conversation.
I couldn’t get out of bed for three days.
sick with worry, despair, hope, yearning. Wanting to make it better for you. This time on Earth.
Moved so deeply, for the first time, to attempt putting my fist through a wall.
Maybe the brick and concrete would move the numb so I could breathe again.
My heart. My body. Flooded and heavy with the weight of you.
And when I did finally move again I cried and cried and cried and cried. Laid facing a brick wall in a friends home and cried some more.
Thank God I have good friends!
They let me cry, sat around me, watched and let me cry and when the tears were done.
They lent me their words, their soft and hard-earned wisdoms.
Showed me all the loss I’d endured in your name. in Love.
Reminded me that I was big. Deeply expansive.
That to love that far and that wide certainly meant I could love again. Over and over and over again .
These lovers cleaned me up and took me to the ocean where we sat and we laughed and we ate and loved like children until it was time to go home.
She went to the water to pray as she always did.
We went home and I knew that I would always love you.
That that was the pleasure and the burden of having known love.
But also that after all that grief there was additional space to love some more.
To attempt attempt again”
dededos
areudirty
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
izzy806
ellievsbear
