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DIRECTOR STATUS / THOUGHTS . college âŠâŠ public transpo âŠâŠ. oh my god âŠâŠ.
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
what's next? navigation | masterlist
PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
what's next? navigation | masterlist
PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
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PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
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PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
SYNOPSIS: Growing up fairy tails would always talk about unconditional love and going lengths for your beloved, but who's decide when unconditional love borders obsession? When another girl starts to spend time around Lohen , you make it your mission to deal with her. Although, what you didn't expect was for you to discover a new side about yourself and Lohen, as your relationship pushes you both towards your limits and tests you.
WORDCOUNT: 5.2k | TRANSLATION OF TITLE: he loves me, he loves me not | CONTENT & WARNINGS: reader is an unreliable narrator, black-white thinking as defensive mechanism (from reader), depictions of violence (both from reader and lohen's side), unhealthy established relationship, both are toxic and kinda know it (they match ea's freak ok), lohen & reader speak german and english (translations will be given), jealousy issues, abandonment issues, includes elements of yandere behavior which might not be comfortable for all audiences, hints of masochism/sadism, angst, suggestive, swearing; oneshot
AUTHORS NOTE: i had to get this out of my drafts + this is bascially a prelude to my other lohen fic !!
âSegne mich, Barbatos, denn ich habe gesĂŒndigt." Begrudgingly you clasp your hands together, praying for your confession to be heard. Your confession, something that was meant for your ears only, echoes through the cathedral, like an exposed secret. A beat of silence passes and youâre met with nothing but the quiet of the dead night. Itâs your karma for committing a sinâthe rightful punishment you deserve for what you have done.Â
âBless me, Barbatos, for I have sinned.â
Initially you havenât planned for it to take so long, it was supposed to be nothing but an empty threat to keep her hands away from Lohen, after all the days sheâs spent around him. It couldnât interest you any less that she was a new member joining the knights of Favonius and was assigned to the Knights of the fifth company to learn from them.Â
Couldnât she have chosen anyone else but Lohen to teach her?Â
As for Lohen he was no better. He was more than aware that she got on your nerves and thatâs what he enjoyed seeingâyou writhing in jealousy as she was batting her lashes at him and asking for her to teach her. He wouldnât necessarily initiate contact with her, but the fact that he kept in touch with her annoyed you.
Sure, it might be his dutiful task, but he clearly savored your moments of jealousy whenever he saw you rolling his eyes at her. Every single day, without a doubt, youâd complain to Lohen about her behavior towards him. The way she tugged at his sleeve whenever she needed help, whining that sheâs only able to learn when heâs around or how she always tried to get as close as physically possible to him.
But heâd always tell you that there was no other girl in his life, other than you, and thereâll never be. Whenever you voiced your thoughts about his relationship with the rookie knight, he cooed sweet words of affirmation into your ears, telling you not to worry about such trivial matters.
It was hard to believe him at first. Granted, the more you came to know Lohen, the more mistrustful you were towards him, always needing him to prove his love for you. However, it wasnât like Lohen despised it. In fact he was very willing to listen to everything you had to say and would make sure to fulfill your requests. Moreover, his jealousy even exceeded yours. He was aware about your whereabouts, your relationships, your belongingsâeverythingâthere wasnât a single part in your life in which Lohen didnât have control over.
Ironically, whenever you were approached by another person, Lohen would practically beg you to tell him that you still love him or give you the cold shoulder, displaying a distant resentment towards you, because youâve âbetrayedâ himâthere was no inbetween.Â
When he did it was alrightâjustfied, as heâd say. Heâs never gone this far to seek out the people that approached you to tell them to stay away from you (as far as you know of), however he made sure, youâd never see them again. So would it be wrong of you to do the same, and go a bit further?
Your last thread of patience snapped when she asked Lohen to meet him outside of the official training times to meet with her, so she could âlearnâ more from him, smiling all sly.Â
All while you were standing next to him, making it apparent that you wanted to leave as you impatiently tugged at his sleeve. Truly, you expected him to decline, but he mustâve seen the grossed out expression you wore, which made him agree to it right away, and probably reveled in joy as you walked away in a fit of anger.
Her face flashes in your mind and you wince as you think back of her scared expression.Your body stiffens as you recall the way her body squirmed against your chest as you held her with a dagger to her throat.
If it werenât for the way she clung to your arms, scratching against your skin as she was trying to resist your attempts to knock her out, you wouldâve finished the job much sooner. Her screams for help still ring in your ears supported by the marks her nails left on your forearm.Â
At that very moment, all moral sense left your body. She continued to scream and cry for help, like a cub left behind and howling after its mother. Before you knew it you flipped her around, pressing her back against your chest, and from your peripheral vision you could see the fear glimmering in her eyes. However, that didn't stop you from putting your gloved hands around her throat and pushing her down onto the muddied earth floor.
You pressed down her neck even harder and before you knew it she started uncontrollably coughing, choking on her breath as she stammered incoherent words. She did all of that while tears pricked at her eyes. Youâll give her credit where credit is dueâshe was difficult to deal with especially with how she fought you off but that only made you more insistent on continuing to put an end to her.
Caught in a trance, still having your hands wrapped around her throat, you failed to notice that the time had passed until her breath started to hitch and her body eventually fell still. Only then did realisation hit youâwhat youâve doneâyou attempted to murder someoneâyou did this for Lohen. Hastily, you pressed your gloved fingers against her pulse point, and in the moment without really realising it may have worsened her injuries, still to your delight there was a faint beating and you let out an exasperated sigh.
Exhausted you collapse onto the floor, back now slumping against a tree as you look at the body in front of you. You could practically feel the guilt seeping through your body and altering your system, however beneath that guilt was something elseâsomething quite darker. How you were feeling as of now wasnât considered normal. Internally you should feel regretful and resentful towards yourselfâyou should be ridden with guilt and hand yourself in, but noâyou felt guilty for not feeling guilty.Â
Honestly, youâd wish that you could have an ounce of sympathy with her now as a last act of kindness. But rather it's the oppositeâyou donât really feel anything, this feels more accomplished rather than dreadful. After all it was her who kept on provoking you, sneaking around Lohen and you and interrupting your guysâ timeâshe dug her grave herselfâthis is what she shouldâve expected.Â
With the remaining strength you had, you reach up and lean over her almost lifeless body, you discarded the brown wool gloves you found tucked in Lohen's drawer without any ceremony somewhere next to herâat least now she has a token from Lohenâbefore gently brushing loose strands of her hair out of her face. âSchlaf gut.â you whisper quietly, cradling her face once more before pressing your index- and middle finger to her eyelids and shutting them.Â
âSweet dreams.âÂ
â
Tired, you drag your feet over the cobblestone floor and force yourself to keep your eyes open so you donât doze off. You walk home wonkily, clinging onto your forearm that's been scratched openâher nails really sunk into the flesh of your arm leaving nasty marks that you attempt to cover up with your sleeve.Â
In the end you didn't manage to kill herâyou couldnât bring yourself to muder her. Why so? Youâre not so sure either. Itâs not like you had any time to think about it anyway, because before you could even fully comprehend the situation that had just played out in front of you, you had to flee the scene of crime, hearing as there were heavy steps accompanied with neighing, approaching you from a distance.Â
When you finally stand in front of your door, you barely manage to keep your eyes open, much less your body thatâs leaning with one shoulder against your front door. After all of this you just want to take a warm bath and lay down without any care in the world, what you did just now was a worry for later.
Lost in your thoughts and paying less attention to your surroundings, you continue to rummage through your pockets to search for your keys, not noticing that you leaned more of your body weight against your door and it opened with a loud creak.
Deep down you know better than thisâyou know you should question why your door was open in the first place. Recently more treasure hunters have taken an interest in Mondstadt hence you made sure that your door was locked every time you went out. Oddly enough, as you step further into the house nothing seems to be out of place. Your shoes were lined up properly, the dishes in the sink from this morning were tucked away neatlyâeverything was almost too perfectâthat is until you noticed the open windows in the living room.
As if on cue the moonlight streams through the curtains and casts a light on the figure who hid themselves in your living room. There on your windowsill sits none other than Lohen with his legs crossed over each other. Knowing Lohen he most likely let himself in, picking at the lock of your door before prying it open and forcing his way inside. He stares out of the window with no care in the world, as he simultaneously plays with his dagger. As you walk closer, you notice that heâs not holding his dagger by the hiltâno, heâs throwing it up and down and catches the side of the blade.
Smoothly he jumps off the windowsill and you can feel your whole body freezing as you stop in your tracks, too shocked to react. A cold gust of wind rushes in the room, Lohen steps closer to you and just smiles, raising his eyebrows before directing his gaze to the clock cabinet. Naturally you follow and thatâs when it hits youâthe time; itâs already past midnight. All of a sudden Lohenâs dagger flies across the room, you gasp as it misses you only by a hairâs breadth; you feel the sharp edge of the blade grazing your face, before boring into the wall right next to the clock.
âUm diese spĂ€te Stunde zurĂŒckkommen.â He slowly draws out the words, making sure that each and every of them is etched into your brain. âSag mal, weiĂt du nicht, welche Gefahr da drauĂen rum lauert?" He coos as he moves closer to you, he positions himself behind you and you feel his warm breath fanning over your nape. Itâs warm, so warm that it sends shivers down your spine.
His presence makes you uneasy and you gulp as you feel him guiding his fingers up your body. Still, you don't dare to turn back or to meet his eyes, fearing that everything you did would now crumble away. âIch musste ein paar Sachen erledigen.â You nod, but he notices it tooâhow youâre trying to convince yourself more than him.Â
Lohenâs fingers move up your neck before finding your chin to tilt your head upwards, leaving you no choice but to face him. âAha.â He hums as he studies your face, eyes drifting from your lips, to your ears before they eventually find your eyes and stay there.
âComing back at this late hour.â / âTell me, do you not know the dangers that are lurking outside?â / âI had some errands to runâ
âHm.â He eyes you with a look that tells you heâs up to no good. âWhat kind of errands?â Getting rid of garbage. The words lie on your tongue but you know better than to confess a murder. âYou know, I just helped Barbara at the cathedral today.âÂ
He tuts in disapproval and shakes his head as he chuckles. âBarbara was helping out Jean today, silly. I saw her.â His laugh suddenly stops and looks up, a dark shadow cast over his eyes. âLĂŒgst du mich gerade an?â Lohen asks and he quickly strips his fingers away from your face. âLohen.â your eyebrows furrow in confusion and you whisper his name like a foreign concept, unsure if this is another cruel joke of his.
One of the qualities you value about Lohen is patience, he always listens to what you have to say, except when it comes to situations like these. âVerstehe.â He nods slowly and adverts his gaze away from you. âDu gehst mir fremd.â He states coldly as if itâs a fact, a law proven over and over evidenced by peoples effort.Â
âAre you lying to me right now?â /Â âI understandâ / âYouâre cheating on me.â
âEntschuldige?â you yell in disbelief, backing away from him. âWarum ist das das erste, wovon du ausgehst.â Itâs already past the quiet hours, but you donât care anymore, whether you scream, yell or shout at Lohen right now, because how could he accuse you of cheating? If someone was cheating it had to be him. âSonst wĂŒrdest du mich doch nicht anlĂŒgen.â He replies curtly, his ruby irises staring right through you.
âExcuse me?â / âWhyâs that the first thing you think of?â / âOtherwise you wouldnât lie to me.â
Anger drips from your mouth as you continue to scream at him. âYou havenât talked the entire day to me.â You point your index finger at him to make your point. âAnd now when you do the very first thing you do is declare me as a cheater?â Youâre seriously dumbfounded.Â
It was you who attempted to murder someone for him just so the two of you could be together all the time. Where your bodies would melt into one soul and are unable to live without one another. Lohen was everything to youâheâs your everything.
âWell, I was working.â He shrugs in simplicity and turns his head away from you. âTold you there's a ton of danger outside.â Suddenly he starts to walk around in the living room, the old floor tiles creaking from his steps. âI had a really stressful day at work today, dove. Not long before you came home the squad on patrol found a fatally wounded woman.â He elaborates as he walks over to the clock cabinet. âYou shouldâve seen her. Itâs a miracle she was still alive.â
Lohen pulls his dagger out of the wall and admires the hole it left behind, as he mumbles about replacing the wall. However that was the least of your concerns right now, it couldnât be, right? Still if theyâd found her body there is absolutely no way it could be traced back to you, you assure yourself.
But no, Lohen had other plans. âAt first the knights were unsure if they just misheard, but when the noises suddenly stopped they decided to check up on where they came from.â He begins, tucking the dagger back into his beltholder. âLuckily they came right on time.âÂ
The endâyou thought this was where Lohen would stop. Heâd warn you about the dangers outside and tell you that he was worried and that everythingâs fine now because you have him. Although what you didnât expect was for Lohen to pull out a pair of brown gloves and hold them up for you to see, thereby bursting your bubble. âItâs weird, don't you think?â He tilts his head to the side and asks. âThese are the gloves given to rookies starting in the knights. The culprit must have been someone from the knights.â
Panic is written all over your face and you feel your head overheating as you try to come up with an excuse. âI mean sheâs a rookie knight right, couldnât those just be hers?â You suggest, hoping it would provide a somewhat reasonable excuse.
A small smile twitches at the corner of Lohenâs lips and the look in his eyes is something you canât quite pinpointâcontentment wouldnât describe it right. He hums and takes another look at the gloves. âWe found her gloves in her pockets, so no. And did you know? A while ago the gloves have been changed. They were claiming that they had been too itchy and the material was unsuitable for any activity.â Lohen practically starts to reminisce as he thinks back to his junior years in the knights. âThe rookies get other ones now. So it must be someone who has been with us for a long time and had the old gloves.â Lohen crosses his arms and looks back, pretending that heâs thinking very hard.
âOh and, howâd you know the victim was a rookie knight?â Itâs in this exact moment where you realise that Lohen is catching onâif not having it figured it out already. All you could hope for is that your expression didnât give away your surprise, you gave him a half-hearted smile to mask your turmoil of emotions. âWell, just a hunch and donât you think itâs so nice that many young women apply to the knights now?â You put your hands behind your back to stop them from trembling before innocently tilting your head to the side and blinking at Lohen. âIf you ask me itâs kinda refreshing seeing women in male dominated fields.â
He hums and looks away as he wipes off the dirt on his uniform. âBut then again others could also become jealous of these rookie knights.â Lohen gives you a knowing look, one that says more than words ever could. âAre you implying I did it?â Negative thoughts consume you and you canât help but start rambling. âIch bitte dich Lohen, du weiĂt ich wĂŒrde sowas niemals tun.â He doesnât answerâyou donât give him any time to.
âIâm begging you Lohen, you know Iâd never do something like that.â
âIch meine, es ist deine Schuld.â You pride yourself in being a composed person, but when it comes to Lohen itâs the complete opposite. âAber du weiĂt, dass ich sie nicht einfach so ignorieren kann.â He starts to explain himself but you cut him off. âWarum nicht?â you ask, voice quivering. "Wer ist dir wichtiger, ich oder sie?âÂ
âI mean itâs your faultâ / âBut youâre aware that I canât just ignore her.â / âWhy not?â / âWhoâs more important to you, me or her?âÂ
Lohen opens his mouth to respond but you donât let him. âYou don't even love meâ your voice breaks and you tear your eyes away from Lohen. âYouâve never loved me. Just admit it.â You murmur but loud enough for him to hear. âAll you do is spend time with her and when I ask to get even a sliver of your attention you refuse.â Verbalizing your thoughts into words was worse than what you expected, because you could even finish your sentence tears started blurring your vision.
Lohen is quick to act and cups your face in both of his hands and looks at you with wide eyes. Heâs probably disgustedâno, he must be shocked that you guessed his intentions right. âNo, no, don't cry please. I was just teasing you.â He hushes you while brushing over your cheeks to wipe away your tears.
He continues to smother your face, even as you try to break away. âYou never spend any time with me and when you do you just talk about her.â You sniffle and push him away. âYouâre always with her. Always, always, always.â The repeated words linger in the air along with your staggered breath. âI feel like you have become distant. You no longer love me. Did you ever even love me?â You attack him with statements, seeing how far heâs willing to go, but also to finally confess everything youâve been bottling up.
Thereâs a silence that stretches across the room. âWhy donât you just admit it.â You whisper quietly. âIâd rather have you tell me the truth than continue to lie to me.â Eventually youâre able to look at him, looking at his eyes and trying to find somethingâanything that proves that he still loves you.
Drowning in the pools of his eyes, you donât notice the way Lohen moves forwards, closes his eyes and presses his lips against your forehead. The warmth of his lips is a reminder of his loveânoâitâs a sign of his farewell and you freeze. Lohen is already backing away but you stand there glued to the floor, still processing. Everything around you starts turning black, something ugly comes up and crawls its way into your heart.Â
Lohen hates you. He doesnât love you anymore, in fact heâs never loved you. All the sweet things heâs said were lies. Youâre nothing special to him, he treats everyone like that. He never planned anything serious with you to begin with. Seeing him with other people makes you realize that heâs not your Lohen, he was never yours. Lohen didnât see anything in you other than a source of temporary funâno, not even that, he just searched for someone to emotionally exploit off.Â
Exactly, thatâs it. Lohen isnât the good guy youâve always imagined in your head. No, heâs just a miserable man who tries to manipulate you. How could you have ever fallen for someone like him? What was it that Lohen did to you? Lohen has never loved you. Why did you delude yourself into thinking that he did?
âLetâs break up.â you suddenly say. The tears that were flowing from your eyes just now seem to have stopped as soon as the words left your mouth. âI dare you to repeat that.â Lohen demands of you enraged. âDu hast schon richtig gehört!â You yell back at him and just as the tears have stopped you feel them starting to spill again. âDu hast weder Zeit noch nimmst du dir Zeit fĂŒr mich.â You start off. âDu hasst mich doch.â Your words are accompanied by a laugh and you continue. âImmer hĂ€ltst du dich mit irgendwelchen anderen MĂ€dchen auf, und du sagst nie was, wenn sie sich förmlich an dich schmiegen.âÂ
âYou heard right!â / âYou donât have time for me nor do you make time for meâ / âYou hate me.â / "You're always with other girls and you never say anything when they practically fawn all over you.âÂ
Lohen stares at you in disbelief, his once worried expression contorting into one of pure rage. âDonât come at me with that bullshit.â He spits and moves closer to you that there's barely any space between the two of you, on instinct you step away, but Lohen grabs your wrist to stop you from moving and to keep you on the spot. âDonât I show you my love enough?â He asks desperately, the corners of his mouth twitching as if to smile, laughing at how ridiculous this situation is.
âNo.â You say sternly. âGet out of my sight.â Unfortunately for you, your words only seem to spur on Lohenâs anger. âYou hate me and you know what? I hate you too, so just go away.â Frantically, you try to wiggle your arm out of Lohen grasp, however to no avail. âYou donât mean that.â He whispers under his breath, eyes narrowing down at you and inspecting your expression. âDoch.â Strong willed, you attempt to push through, but Lohen doesnât accept that as an answer. âNein, tust du nicht.â Heâs right you donât. âGet lost.âÂ
âYesâ / âNo, you donâtâÂ
This seems to do it for Lohen because he yanks you by your wrist and youâre certain that his touch will leave a mark. âWen verarscht du hier eigentlich?â All of a sudden, Lohen starts to laughâhysterically so, as if heâs overwhelmed and this is his last resort. âYouâre gonna do what I say, doesnât matter if you want to or not.â He declares and forces you to abide by it. âBut we both know that you donât want to leave.â Lohen whispers all knowingly before leaning in to kiss you, he lets go of your wrist and presses his hands on your waist.
âWho do you think youâre fooling?â
The kiss is messy and you can feel his tongue nudging at your teeth, asking for permission to enter and you let him. His tongue roams inside the cavern of your mouth and you canât help but make embarrassing noises against his mouth. Suddenly he leaves your mouth and his tongue swipes across the tear stained marks left on your skin. You squirm to get away from him, but he doesnât let you.Â
If this continues you know you really wonât be able to stop.
Feeling the wet muscle on your face filled you with a mix of shame, disgust but also a certain enjoyment and you know you couldnât let this go on. Leaveâthat was your top priority. You canât give in, Lohen is manipulating you again, donât fall for the same trick twice. Infuriated, you slap Lohen across the face and the noise echoes throughout the room as you shove him away by the chest.
The shock in Lohenâs eyes is priceless, heâs baffled. You catch your breath, heavily exhaling and so does Lohen before wiping his mouth with the back of his hands. Even without saying a word you know what heâs about to do next, so why is it that you canât move? This time Lohen grabs both of your wrists and holds them above your head so you wonât be able to wiggle away again. You stare at him through fiery eyes and scratch his hands with your nails, but your plan backfires,because firstly, he doesnât budge and secondly his desire to ruin you just became stronger. Lohen kisses youâonce again, you let him. You can feel his smirk against your lips as he pries his tongue into your mouth and continues to aggressively kiss you. Not allowing him to take the lead, you bite down on his lower lip and the sound Lohen makes is music to your ears, fueling you to keep on biting until youâre hit with the metallic taste of blood.
What are you thinking about? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? Well, how are you supposed to know youâve never known anything or anyone else other than Lohen. But this isn't normal. Normal people donât kiss a person whoâs manipulated them into loving them.
Itâs as if someone rewinded time, because the same scene plays out again.You push Lohen away at his chest once more, shaking your head and he heaves. âWe were enjoying ourselves just now.â He speaks, as if trying to convince you. âWhat happened?â He asks, voice shaking as his fingers press into the flesh of your skin. âDid you not like it?â Lohenâs eyes widened. âI can also start with a different approach, just tell me what you want. Iâll do itâ Before you know it, there are tears brimming in his eyes and this time itâs you whoâs taken aback. This canât be real.
âI love you. I really love you. Youâre the only girl for me.â Thereâs tears running down both of your faces now and youâre too shocked to even say anything to him. Something like this has never happened, this shouldnât be happening you think. Without much thinking you let Lohen take your hand and guide it to his face before he nuzzles his cheek into the palm of your hand. âN..no Lohen.â You stutter, the words stuck in your throat. âI know youâre just coercing me. Stop it.â You scream and pull back your hand. âBut itâs working isnât it?â Lohen smiles before wiping away the tears, although some still cling onto his lashes.
The ticking of the clock makes you feel uneasyâthe longer you go on without saying anything the more Lohen will take it as a sign. âNo, Lohen, you seriously need to leave. Just go.â You urge him and he just stands there with an expression that's hard to read.Â
Of course you donât want him to goâyou want him to stay. Why is it unhealthy to just rely on each other? Youâre fine with it. Lohen is your world, but maybe thatâs the problem.Â
âI know that you donât want me to leave. I love you therefore I know you.â He tells you and you canât help but hold back a sniffle. Why does he have to make this harder than it already is? âLohen, I told you weâd break up. Weâre not together anymore so fuck off.â You declare bluntly, but you know that your eyes betray you. âNo, I never agreed to breaking up.â Lohen exclaims in disbelief. âWell, too bad because I no longer want to be in a relationship with you, okay?â Whenever you and Lohen fought, you always needed to have the last word and Lohen would let you have it, because he knew that it made you gain a sense of control for a situation you didnât plan.
But with Lohen you never know what to expect. Thereâs a pregnant pause and Lohen exhales. âIf you leave me Iâm going to kill myself.â That did it for you. You gave him so many chances to leave before it got to this point, but Lohen just couldnât listen, could he? âDo it then. I donât care. I hate you.â You challenge him, but itâs Lohen and Lohen never backs out from a challenge.
Upon not seeing you hesitating or showing much reaction, you can practically tell how irritated Lohen has become. Even if he doesnât make it as obvious as you do, there are still signs. One of them is doing something impulsive, if not entirely reckless. The dagger he stored in his belt holder is in his hand again, only this time isnât he just playing around with it. No, heâs putting it against his throat, the tip of the blade barely touching his skin.
âTell me you love me. That you don't mean any of thisâ He starts to push the tip of the dagger into his skin slowly. âYoure just bluffing.â You snort and roll your eyes. âAm I?â Lohen starts to drag the tip over his skin and a streak of red comes to life. It starts off a small slit but the more you look at it the more blood comes out. He positions his dagger at another spot on his throat again and you start panicking. âNo, no, Lohen, stop it!â You yell, taking the dagger from his hand and throwing it somewhere down the floor.Â
The blood continues to flow and you press your sleeve against it for the material to soak up the blood. âTell me you love me.â He whispers like a little kid making a wish thatâs only for a certain pair of ears to hear. âTherâs no one else for me.â Lohen starts off as he presses a kiss into the crown of your head. âNone of the other girls could ever compare to you, so tell me that you love me too.â You donât answer and only look up at him with a look that tells him more than enough. âItâs not working out, Lohen, okay? Just leave please and never come back.â You plead, you werenât able to fulfill one last act of kindness for someone, but you hope that Lohen will for you.
Lohen doesnât say anything as he removes himself from your embrace nor does he look back once. He doesnât tell you goodbye. No nothing and maybe thatâs the best farewell you couldâve asked for and the one you deserved.Â
END NOTE: âI'm scared youre gonna abandon me so ill abandon you first.â Reader and Lohen probably + feli (me) too hahahahahahahah â call it a self insert atpÂ
SFW. Which genshin impact characters would be great fathers and the type of dad each of them would be.
Including VARKA, DILUC, NEUVILLETTE, and THOMA.
VARKA
Of course I needed to start this list with the father of Mondstadt, the Knight of Boreas, the great and lovely golden retriever man. He'd be such a protective father, but not in the "don't do this" way to his kids, but in the "do it, I'll make sure you stay safe" way.
He would write tons of letters to his kids whenever he's on a mission, promising them lots of adventures, fun and interesting stories the moment he's back. He'd hug and carry them all the damn time, and he'd love to ruffle their hair.
Varka wouldn't scold his kids that much, mostly because he's part of the problems sometimes, but he'd definitely have some serious talks with them if he considers it necessary (or if you do).
He'd definitely be a fun dad, always able to keep up with his children's energy somehow, and making sure they get enough sleep after playing with them when he's free, or whenever he manages to escape from his Grandmaster's duties. A big smile on his face as he hides from Jean with his kids.
DILUC
He would be the type of dad that makes sure his kids have everything they need or please. They want some apples? Sure, Diluc already has three full packages on its way to their home. They need some dandelions? No problem, he already bought and even collected a big amount. He'd make sure his children never lack anything.
He's not the clingiest person, not even with his kids, but he'd always kiss them goodnight. A sweet peck on their forehead as he tucks his little ones to bed. And if he had girl, Diluc would let her play with his soft red hair, letting her do his ponytail even if she's still not the best at it.
He'd adore and protect them just as much as he'd do with his lover, always doing anything that seemed necessary to maintain a peaceful life for his treasured family. I believe he'd be a bit strict, though, but not that much, he just doesn't want anything bad happening to them.
Diluc's love for his kids wouldn't be loud, it wouldn't be a blazing fire. Instead, it would be a warm and cozy flame, making them feel safe and guaranteeing even a little light on their stormy dark nights.
NEUVILLETTE
He is a busy man, I know, but I'm also sure he'd make his best to spare some time with his kids. He'd value honesty and transparency with his children, hence his effort to build a trustful relationship with them.
He'd definitely be a gentle dad, unable to see his little ones cry and not even give them a deep, sweet hug. He'd probably end up with teary eyes himself â silvery clouds threatening to rain over Fontaine for a few minutes, but he'd let his kids feel what they need to feel, murmuring a soft "it's okay, darling, dad's here" without letting them go.
He'd be so caring and so loving, even if it's in discreet ways. He'd care for his children way more than people would notice; someone observant enough could know by the way his gaze softens whenever he looks at his cute droplets playing around, making sure they're safe wherever they are.
If Neuvillette had a daughter, he would also let her play with his precious white hair, always wearing a matching bow with her at the end.
THOMA
He would not only be a great father, but also a great house husband. He manages the Kamisato's household duties diligently, of course he'd be able to take care of his kids with excellence.
His children would definitely love his food, and to be fair, who wouldn't? Thoma would prepare for them whatever they ask for, even cooking some of their favorite dishes randomly; the precious joy in their eyes would always warm his chest in cuteness overload.
He'd love to carry and play with his kids, but honestly? He'd do anything they want. He'd constantly make his biggest effort to guarantee some free time just for them, to be with them as they deserve.
Thoma would also be a great listener, and that obviously applies to his kids. He'd be the type of dad that his babies know for sure they can go with if they ever need a shoulder to cry on, giving them the coziest hug and always knowing how to cheer them up.
Let me know if you'd like part two of this, I've been thinking about some other options if you guys are interested!!
You may want to check out my memorabilia archives for more if you enjoyed reading this. <3
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
what's next? navigation | masterlist
PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
PANGARAP LANG KITA / YOUâRE JUST MY DREAM ft. phainon
the three things that went wrong in this date and the one thing that didnât ; alternatively, phainon intends to confess to you in the most romantic way possible but things go left.
CONTENT TAGS & WARNING â established relationship, modern!au, fluff, confessions, pining, yearning so much yearning, reader is wearing heels, phainonâs pov focus, mentions of anxiety, minor themes of self-hatred and insecurity (phainon), first date gone wrong, handholding, word vomit | wc: 3.2k
[TEA99 EVENT] AN ORDER OF⊠azulâs special blend of lemon fruit tea with honey in a blue cup, served with a slice of chocolate pistachio kunafa cake !! (of course, iâm doing my blend, iâm biased for myself; also thatâs my favorite tea and dessert)
DIRECTORâS NOTES â iâm a firm believer for d1 yearner phainon
what's next? navigation | masterlist
PHAINON had everything planned.
From the invitation and to the very last moment where he was going to confess his feelings for you, he had it all written down and noted.
There was the strong need to ensure that things will go smoothly. He wasnât simply going to stand before you and declare his feelings like some madman who knows nothing of propriety and the essence of what makes the worth of devotion. Phainon was no stranger to courtship and confessions despite the lack of his experience as you are the first and only recipient of his affections, but he intends to make the grand revelation of it special. Even if it means he was going to be rejected in the end.
(But he pray for it to not be the case.)
He have witnessed adoration between his parents who seem to cannot be stopped in the public display of their affection and he have seen it on televisions late at night when he has nothing to watch, so to say that he was unfamiliar with the ways of love would be a lie in it itself; to say that he also doesnât yearn for such would be another lie.
Phainon adored you more than he could admit to himself and even if he did, no words will be enough to fill the vessel of affection that he held dear for you. Everything he would try to say and think of would fall short to the rot of his ribs, to the light in his gaze, to the existence of you. Your whole being alone stands as evidence that stars have perished to create the shape of you, bringing your atoms closer to him, and yet, in the hours when the world slept and his guard dissolved like frost, he let himself imagine that the space between your breaths was a home he had been seeking across every lifetime.
He would not dare be greedy to ask even a caress of your light, but if the universe were merciful enough to let him orbit your gravity without burning, he would spend eternity as your silent moonâcontent to reflect what he could never hold, faithful to a warmth he would never taste, and thankful for the sheer mercy of being allowed to exist in the same constellation as you.
It was an understatement to use the word serious despite it was for something that definitely fits the definition of it. To Phainon, it was so serious that he had to resort consulting Aglaea for his affairs, believing the wiser lady would bring him knowledge that he had not thought of.
âThe most romantic place to eat in Okhema?â The golden-haired designer repeats as her head tilts slightly, pondering, but what came out of her mouth was not an answer but another question: âWhy do you ask?â
âIâm just curious, is all.â He says rather quickly as he scratches the back of his head, averting his gaze down the ground. Under this light and with that expression on his face, he looks like a puppy that have been caught by its owner doing something he ought not to do.
âItâs about [Name], isnât it?â
âWhat? Is it that obvious?â
The golden-haired woman chuckles, clearly having seen through Phainonâs attempt of nonchalance earlier.
âIt was merely a jest, but it seems like youâre too honest for your own good.â
So serious that he read romantic books in preparation.
âWhat are you reading?â
âNothing!â He scrambled to hide the book behind his back, afraid that the feline-like woman would figure out what was in his hand. Cipher have always had sharp eyes, after all.
So serious that he practiced his lines in front of a mirror before cringing and burying his face in his hands, wondering what in the worlds is he doing.
âI must have gone crazy.â
Phainon had it all planned for weeks. It was not in his character to be meticulous, but it felt like he had to. If he doesnât have these things planned, heâs worried that heâll end up stumbling on a rock and messing everything up, then heâll lose all of his chances, and what would you even think of him? A coward that canât get his feelings out and straight? A witless man who doesnât know how to romance another? A fool that only knows how to make you smile and be a gentleman?
He framed his invitation to you as something with the keywords of: dinner, celebration, and his treat. âDinnerâ because he was planning on confessing during the night when the fireworks come and itâs the best time to do it; âcelebrationâ? for what? He only said something about something good had happened and how he intends to share it with his âdearâ partner; âhis treatâ, after all, how could he have you spend for your food when he was the one who took you out? Even so, heâll never make you pay or split the bill.
(In your view, this was just your usual hangout with him, but to him, it was a date. His first date with you and you're unaware of it.)
He had all of it planned from the invitation and to his very confession.
Except none of his plans came into fruition.
Itâs not that he chickened out, had cold feet, or run away. It was never any of those things. Hell, that never came to his mind. Itâs just that everything in the universe seems to be working hand in hand to destroy everything he had built for this moment.
First, it was the flowers. Oh, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, intricate in all its details and selective in the overall arrangement of it to ensure that you would love it. Unfortunately, the flower shop that he had planned to pick it up from burned down in the middle of a night and he only knew of it when he went there, and saw the charred remains of what once was the store.
Although, he wasnât mad at all. Itâs not like there was some kind of superman that could prevent something like that in happening. He was only relieved that the workers were safe and no one was harmed in the incident. Besides, itâs not like itâs not the only flower shop in town.
It is.
It was the only flower shop in town.
Phainon, not wanting to be late, had to compromise and rushed to the restaurant with no bouquet in hand. Itâs okay, he tells himself, everything is still going to be okay, he convinces the voices inside his head. Heâs off to a really rough start and heâs not liking it alreadyâanxiety easily weaves through the gaps of his fingers, consuming the thoughts of his thoughts. Red, green, turn left, stop, brakes, park his car, turn off the engine; every movement of his had become mechanical except for his sigh that seemed to draw from the well of his very humane worries.
By the time he had arrived, you were already there, standing outside in all your grace and charm, looking as beautiful as ever despite the restaurant lights only illuminating your figure. He stood still there, a man who cannot be moved, captured by your radiance as you remained unaware of his presence until he gathered the very little of his courage and shame to call for your name.
Just your smile as soon as you recognized him was enough to make him forget of his frustrations and when you took his hand in yours to holdâa gesture too intimate yet had become normal between you and him, but doesnât reduced the warmth of itâ, he forgot what he was even worrying about. Right, right, right, it will all be fine. Everything will be okay and fine, until it is not.
Second, it was the restaurant.
Phainon had booked a reservation in advance for a spot in the balcony that allows you to have a view of the city and the stars outside. However, when he walked in with you and asked, it seems there was no reservation under his name. How could that be? He had called in days prior and confirmed his booking; he had even provided proof of it and yet, there was nothing.
All he got was an apology from the host and a compensation which came in a mere form of: âWeâll provide a free dessert and drink for the error.â
Great. He doesnât know what to say or what to do, he could only turn to you and apologize, asking if youâre okay with the new arrangements. If you would rather eat somewhere else, then he is okay with it too. He didnât mind if the inconvenience was to him, as long as you werenât affected, as long as it wasnât you being inconvenienced.
In the end, you wanted to eat in that restaurant you and him would always eat at; that one restaurant that you would turn to in every occasion of your life. You wanted something familiar, something warm, something soothing, and you wanted his hand, too, so he gave it to you as long as you gave yours to him.
Third, the lake.
The lake that the two of you will go to as Phainon smiled warmly, telling you that he wants to take you somewhere as you finished eating. The lake that had the best spot to see the fireworks. The lake where he will confess his feelings to you just as the blaring sound of the fireworks explode overhead, painting the night sky in bursts of colors. His voice, usually so steady, wavers just slightly as he says your name like it's the answer to a question he's been asking himself for months.
The reflections of light dance across the water's surface, mirroring the flutter in his chest, and when he turns to face you fully, the last of the sparks fizzle into silence, leaving only the soft lap of waves and the tremor of his words: "I've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right here, with the stars above us and the lake beneath us, because you make everything feel this vast and this beautiful." He would squeeze your hand, his smile softer than the moonlight, and before the next rocket even leaves its trail, he whispers the three words that make the entire world fall away.
But of course, none of this happened, because as it turns out, the lake had been off-limits to the public for a crime investigation.
Thus now, youâre walking along the path of the park, dimly lit with the few light sources here and there. Phainon has been silent for a while now, seemingly deep in thought as he walks beside you. He looks⊠slumped? Disappointed? Frustrated? You canât really pinpoint the exact center of his emotions, not when he seems so close yet so far at this moment.
There is a turmoil in his thoughts that resembled a hurricane wrecking everything in its way. Is this it? Is this really it? Will all of his weeks of planning fall away just like that? Has all of his efforts gone naught like that? Is that all he can do then? Let something as flimsy as the universe undermine the vastness of his feelings for you?
âPhai, wait.â
Your voice pulls him out of his trance as you held on to his arm. When he turns to look at you, he sees you bending and reaching for your heels as if wanting to take it off. It doesnât take much for him to figure out why.
âDoes your feet hurt?â Still, he asks, concern lacing with his tone as he guides you to a nearby bench instead, making you sit down while he kneels on the ground before you.
âYeah.â You can only say. It feels embarrassing now; all of his attention easily pours into you like liquid to an empty goblet. He takes off your footwear before carefully setting it on the ground. Thankfully, he has prepared for something like this to happenâhe takes out a small box of bandaid from the pocket of his pants.
Youâre so reliable, you want to say, but the heavy and tense atmosphere stops you from doing so. Instead, it was Phainon that speaks for the both of you and his words werenât something that you have expected him to utter.
âIâm sorry,â he sounds guilty and the way he gently tends to the small blisters of your skin feels almost like an apology, too. âI didnât want things to go this way.â
He must sound so pathetic in your ears now. A sorry-excuse of a person who cannot even do anything right.
âPhai, none of it is your fault, okay? None of us expected for the reservation to not come through and besides, how would we have known someone was going to steal the swan figurines on the lake?â
That was true; none of you would have known. But also, that wasnât just it. That wasnât just all of it and right now, in this moment of you and him, he wants to spill everything heâs been hiding. Heâs always known within himself that secrets are something that he can never keep from youâfrom you who is able to untangle him easily, who reads the falter between his syllables.
âI had a bouquet prepared too.â
âHuh?â
âBut the flower shop burned down.â
âPhai, really,â you laugh softly and it eases off some of the weight on his shoulders, âyouâre pretty unlucky today, huh?â
âDonât laugh.â Even if your laugh is the sound he is fond of. Phainon is pouting now and you see that heâs less tense compared to earlier, which makes you feel relieved too. You pat the empty space on the bench beside you and he easily understood what youâre trying to say.
âSorry, I canât help it.â
âBesides, I like you too.â
âWhat?â
You turn to look at him, grinning. Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars above you and aeons, titans, heavens, there is no words to capture your beauty. He adores you so much that it would consume him until all that is left is the marrow of his bones, but it will never be enough. No, nothing will be enough, not even him.
âYouâre not entirely⊠how do I say this? Youâre not really good at hiding things or maybe,â you begin, trying to find the right words scrambled on the feet beneath you, picking up the letters until it finally forms into a proper sentence: âYouâre just way too honest.â
Youâre too honest for your own good, Aglaeaâs words echoed inside his head.
He sighs, âthatâs another thing that I screwed up then.â And you hum, tilting your head, questioning him what he means by it, to which he simply resolves your confusion with: âI havenât even told you of my feelings and you even beat me to it.â He doesnât look angry, only disappointed at himself but only for a brief moment as a knowing smile tugs on the corner of his lips. He should have known you and how you also know him the same.
âWhoâs to say you cannot say it now?â You beam at him, legs swinging off the ground as if an excited kid who's just discovered that the world bends to the shape of their joy. Phainon watches you, and the heart in his chest cracks open, warm and terrifyingly in the shape of you. âI still want to hear it from you. Just because I already know it, it doesnât mean I donât want to hear it.â
So say it, Phainon. He should let you have thisâlet you have him saying it out loud, so you can keep it tucked somewhere safe. After all, who is fate and the universe to decide that he cannot tell you of his feelings right at this moment? There is no strict rules in feelings. He has no bouquet, no restaurant reservation, no lake to watch with you, but he has you.
"IâŠâ He stumbles, falters, but he doesnât relent. âI've been wanting to tell you this for so long, and I couldn't think of a better place than right hereâwell, I donât think this is a better place. I was supposed to say this when weâre at the lake.â
Ah, I think I screwed up again, he would add, and you would only laugh as you call his name, and in that very instant, he feels so small and big at the same time, like the universe contracts and expands to make space for him and the scale of his feelings.
You placed your hand on top of his. âYou even practiced your lines too?â
âI wanted it to be perfect.â
âThatâs ridiculous, I doubt anything could be perfect.â You laugh once more and he feels happy despite the despair of your words.
âBut you are.â And you laugh harder.
âFine then, take your time. I wonât go away.â
Time. There is no time at all; time is a social construct made by people who needs to label something just to make sense of everything. The rise and fall of the sun, the way the moon conquers the sky, the stars in your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest where your heart lies beneath, the warmth of your hands, and the glimmer of your smile. There is two truths that Phainon knows for certain: 1.) time is a social construct made by people who wants to understand everything within their experiencesâborn from the human need to measure, to name, to contain the vast and formless flow of existence within the narrow limits of what we can grasp, and 2.) you are made for him.
âYou make everything feel this vast and this beautiful,â he laces his fingers into the gaps of your own, holding you and holding your hand, sharing his warmth and the intensity of his feelings with a small squeeze, âand I like you.â
You squeeze his hand back: I like you too.
âPhai, even if you screw up yesterday, today, and tomorrow; even if you do it in a toilet, a garbage dump, or in the most romantic spot while weâre out there rowing in the lake, my answer will not change.â
For the first time this night, Phainon finally relaxes and lets the heaviness leave his shoulders. He finally lets slip the laughter along with the last thread of doubt he'd been clutching onto and it spills out of him; he presses his forehead against yours, rubbing the tip of your noses together, which only makes your breath shaky, warm against his lips.
âMay I?â
His voice is soft but so loud, lingering in the space that exists between you and him. A nod and you feel it; his lips meeting yours like the first spark that climbs into the dark, a small trail of light that almost look like shooting stars, and then suddenly, the sky above you cracks open in a shower of bright colors.
The fireworks are blooming exactly as they were meant to as if it had been waiting for this very moment to applaud. Each burst of light echoes the way his mouth moves against yours, soft then deeper, radiant then dissolving into the heat that pesters long after the color fades, and when you part, you both simply laughâbreathless and giddy, foreheads still touchingâas your fingers find his again and tighten around them.
(At least one thing went right.)
i couldn't stop writing at all !?@!@? I GOT CARRIED AWAY UGHGHHHH
BECAUSE LOVE CAN BURN LIKE A CIGARETTE ft. heartslabyul & savanaclaw
pikachu, quick, summarize their relationship in a few words ; alternatively, relationship tropes and dynamics with twst characters | content tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff, headcanons, use of tropes, probably ooc (i only got to book 3), reader is not yuu, self-indulgent, not proofread | wc: 5.6k (600+ words per character)
DIRECTOR'S NOTES â sorry if there are inaccuracy ! i just started the game and i have only known them for a week⊠(game keeps on stopping me from progressing the story bcs of my low rank AUGHGHUGHGH). so these are kind of just surface-level hcs based on my little understanding of them and the scraps iâve been fed with hahahahhaaha anyways enjoy :))
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
academic weapon x academic disaster
Ah, the classic trope, but how fitting it is. They say you and him complete each other in ways more than one. You fill the empty spaces that he is missingâmischief, disorder, and rule-breakingâwhile he completes you in yoursâdiscipline, virtue, and responsibility. Riddle would never find what is lacking in his life and would never admit to this wanting until you came and wrecked his world. Still, he welcomes the catastrophe of your whole being if it means being yours at the same.
Itâs safe to say that the way he does relationships is still bound into his rather monochrome belief of following the rules. Thatâs why when the two of you just started dating, he seemed rather stiff and awkward. Was he doing this right? Was this wrong? What is he supposed to do? Can he hold your hand?
Ah, if only there was a rulebook on romance.
Riddle has everything about you memorizedâfrom the top of your head and to the bottom of your feet. He knows what kind of tea you like or not like, he knows your favorite spots in the academia when you decide to skip class, he knows what subjects you are weak and what study methods work best for you (which is to not study at all, but of course, he wouldnât have that). He remembers everything that there is to remember about you and sometimes, it makes you feel bad that he puts this much efforts for you while it feels like youâre just there.
âIf you truly do feel bad, how about you put in more effort into your education? Here, I have constructed a detailedââ ; âAh, stop, stop!â
You try too, even if it looks like it doesnât go on a same level as his. After all, people have different ways of showing their affection towards another and Riddle understands that very well. Where he is attentive to your needs and wants, you make sure to do the sameâlooking after him, ensuring that he doesnât overwork himself to the bone, rewarding him with strawberry tarts, pulling him into breaks when youâve noticed that heâs been studying too much, accompanying him as he does his own thing, and catching troublemakers for him.
He wasnât particularly the clingy and affectionate type of person, but he appreciates your constant presence. Riddle, really, there is no need for some kind of reasoning just to justify someone staying by your side. You just love him, thatâs all, and thatâs enough reason to be.
He falls asleep easily around you, too, oftentimes with his head on your shoulder. Thatâs how much he feels relaxed around you.
Your primary love language is quality time and words of affirmation, particularly on Riddleâs. Heâs got that incredible ability of drilling words into your head out of his worry for you and though from anotherâs perspective, itâs just another mile-long harsh scolding, you know thatâs not the case. There are too many occasions wherein you are just beaming a grin at him while he nags you and then he falters in his tone, sighing, as a pretty shade of a blush dusts his cheeks. He just gets flustered easily.
Sure, you can tease him, sure, you can poke fun at him, and sure, you can also shower him with affection, sure, you can bother him anytime you want, and sure, you can play around with his rules. Youâve found that Riddle lets you get away with the things youâre doing, especially when itâs directed to him. Was he perhaps being slanted? Maybe. He likes to say that itâs because heâs going easy on everyone, when in fact, itâs just you.
You do have to be scared for your life when exam results come out, however. Riddle may not force you into the same routine and workload that he does, but he makes sure to be strict enough that you wonât slack off your studiesâjust enough to get you to that passing mark. You can fool around later when the exams are over, but for now? You have to listen to him.
Itâs the truth and only the truth when one would say that the couple of you and Riddle is the most loved and cherished in the Heartslabyul Dorm, or even the whole Night Raven College.
ACE TRAPPOLA
ragebaiter x ragebaited
Ace Trappola had too much cards to play when it comes to annoying the hell out of you.
Itâs as if heâs an expert of it as if the very moment he was taken out the womb of his mother, he was already equipped with the right skills and the knowledge it takes to hit your nerve with full accuracy of the worldâs best sniper. Heâs got the body of a teenage boy and the immature mentality of one too.
Itâs amazing how you even managed to deal with him for so long that people always assume that you are simply so benevolent and kind, or maybe youâre dense as stone. Theyâre wrong. Patience is a trait that has been cultivated within you, not something you were born with. Even if you were born with it, itâs never going to be enough. You must embark on the path of cultivation to reach the highest peaks of forbearance.
Ah, you just canât begin with the type of stuff your boyfriend does when youâre already overstimulated or irritated.
But Ace knows the limit of his teasing, the line that you put that indicates your boundaries and uses it as a jumping rope. No, just kidding. Despite his immaturity, he still knows when to stop and makes sure to give you something that will make you smile after whatever antics he have pulled.
An apology, wooing you as you sulked and ignored him, then suddenly, he pulls out something that he knows youâve been craving or wanting to get. Ask him of where he got it and he would never say it; after all, magicians never reveal their secrets.
Beyond that, Ace is surprisingly a good lover. Listen, heâs ashamed of his past and how avoidant he can actually be, and how stupid he is when it comes to relationships, but heâs working on it, okay? Heâs ashamed of his past and he only wants the best for you and the best is obviously him.
He remembers all off the important datesâbirthday, anniversaries, monthsariesâ, and though he doesnât fuss over it, he ensures that it will still be something special and remarkable. Although he does get shy when you point out his efforts like the bouquet he had meticulously prepared for the day or the dinner date he has planned. He takes incredible care of you and makes sure that youâre in no harm even if he does gets into fights often, making an enemy out of a few people. If people dare to use you as his weakness, just know that theyâre never seeing the light of the day.
He knows you can take care of yourself. Bonus points if youâre an independent, do-it-on-your-own type of person, who doesnât trust others easily. Heâs the type of person who would swat your hand away if you try to take more workload and would drag you out of your seat when youâve been paying too much attention on your books and not him. Heâs so⊠clingy. Physical affection is definitely on the top of his love languageâheâs always holding your hand, always putting his arm around you, always peppering you with kisses, always ruffling your hair, and anyone who dares say anything is just envious about what you both have. Bleh.
Heâll always stick to your side, especially during breaks; he would sigh and mumble to himself how he wants to see you already when you have separate classes; he would always look for you while itâs obvious that you wouldnât be there in that place, then would complain on why you arenât here. It all boils down to this statement: everyone who knows Ace knows you.
But hey, you signed up for this. You chose him, no backing out now.
DEUCE SPADE
former delinquent turned over a new leaf x honor student
Before the two of you got together, Deuce would constantly pester you about questions, would constantly try to sit beside you during class, would constantly ask you to help him with his studies, begging and even bribing you. After all, you were an honor student, ranking among those at the top of their studies, and he was classmates with you. He was going to take advantage of that to make his mama proud but also, hello, he wants your attention. Itâs just as simple as that.
Pestering, because thatâs the only way he knows how to get yours without seeming like heâs wasting your time. Asking, because youâre on a different league and he was right there at the bottom with scraps, and this was the only way he knows to get close to you. Attention, because he likes you a lot but doesnât know how to show it properly without looking like a wuss. There are nights he would stay awake and recount his memories with you earlier that day, worrying that what if he was acting like a bully? What if he was scary and not polite? What if he was showing his delinquent side? What if you were just scared of him thatâs why you comply so easily? Everything was just amplified in his mind and it wasnât helping him at all.
You only got him to confess when you confronted him and told him about how he should take âresponsibilityâ for making you fall for him. It was a jest, really. He took that way too seriously, however, and youâre unsure if itâs a good thing or not.
He goes above and beyond, always exceeding your expectations. He even has it all listed in the notes app of his phone: the things you like and dislike, your favorite food, your favorite color, everything that he would learn about you.
âDeuce, you know I was only joking when I told you to take responsibility.â ; âAre you asking to break up?â He would reply, immediate tears to his eyes, and you can only sigh and reassure him itâs not that.
Deuce tries to be very very careful in not showing his delinquent side of him. Weâve all seen him revert back to that attitude when the situation calls for it, but around you, he desperately hides it, worried that youâll hate him. Heâs a massive overthinker and sometimes, a paranoid, and sometimes, exaggerates things to a new level that you never thought was possible.
However, such fragile secrets are not meant to last, seeping through the cracks until the vase eventually breaks. By misfortune, you just walked in right when he was giving someone the talk along with Ace Trapolla who seems to be his buddy when it comes to making trouble. The fear on his face is immediate and palpable, rushing to you and desperately explaining himself in a rush that his words mingle together and youâre not understanding anything.
He only stopped his rambling when you laughed, a sweet sound he always love to hear and all his panic is replaced with confusion.
âDeuce, what are you saying? Iâve known the whole time.â ; âWhat?â ; âYeah.â ; âAnd you still like me?â He just couldnât believe it. Heâs done terrible things in the past and might have hurt people in the process, how could you like him while still being aware of these things?
âHow could I not?â It was so simple, but so devastating at the same time. Relief washed over him, except itâs in the form of a tsunami and heâs being swept away by the depths off your affection. Church bells are already ringing inside his head and he has already talked about you to his mother who is also equally excited as him.
Oh, but you donât appreciate him hiding things from you, so from then on, heâll tell you every single thing about himself, and again, you donât know if itâs a good thing or not.
CATER DIAMOND
influencer / popular guy on magicam x chronically online
Nobodyâs getting a proper conversation out of you both. Itâs an endless stream of internet slang, pop culture references, and magicam terms in which the both of you giggle with together.
Everything that he knows about others, he tells you. Heâs basically a gossip-magnet and youâre there as his collateral, so if someone is unsuccessful with getting information from him, then they will always come to you next. Cater, however, already knows their next move, so when these people would find you, they would also see your beautiful boyfriend lingering behind you with a smile on his face.
You have lots of inside jokes with him and itâs only the two of you who will understand it. Ace and Deuce would often witness you and him dying of laughter just saying out words that doesnât even make sense. Itâs like you entertain each other on a daily and everyone around you are just your viewersâthis becomes so obvious whenever he goes on live on his account and youâre also there with him.
âUser xX_CrowleyHater_Xx says, âyou guys are so cute together, you definitely should get married. You guys have a bright future together, I canât wait to see more of you! Sending loves, hugs, and peace!â Aww, that is so cute. Thank you for your kind words.â The actual comment is: Itâs you two again, ugh.
Though you did once mention the lovely housewarden of Heartslabyul and doing a challenge where you do something and see if it breaks a rule (foolish, I know), and the next day, youâre in trouble with him. Whether youâre from another dorm or is in the same one as him, you also got the taste of Riddleâs signature spell. Never again.
Everyone may think that they know there is to know about you and him, when in truth, all they are aware of is the extent of adoration you have for each other. Cater have long mastered how to reveal everything and nothing at the same time. Also, he doesn't like it when it warrants unwanted attention on you. It makes him #jealous (one time, someone left a creepy comment and he had it reported, and the user blocked).
Cater documents everything, but his favorite collection isn't on Magicam. He takes lots of photos of you; candid shots, sleeping, eating, and anything. His lockscreen wallpaper even cycles on a daily, reasoning that he likes the surprise of seeing a different one each day. You know about this because you caught him once, and instead of being embarrassed, he just shrugged, "What? You're my favorite content." But you also know why he keeps them and doesnât demand further explanation. So you've started your own archive tooâscreenshots of his ridiculous texts, voice memos of his laugh, photos of him when he doesn't know you're watching. Occasionally, you'll send him one of those saved moments with no context, simply saying: "I was thinking of you."
Beyond that, you're aware of Cater's struggles even if he never sat you down and gave you some tearful confession. You just pay attention. You notice the way his smile tightens just a fraction when someone says something that hits too close to home, the way his eyes flicker to the exit during group hangouts, the way he spams stories in an hour when he's feeling particularly lonely because the notifications are a temporary bandage.
You never push, never pry, never force him to be vulnerable. Instead, you learn his language: the shorthand of half-finished texts, the emojis that mean different things depending on the time of day, the specific way he says "lol", and you meet him there. You try to cheer him up, distract him; you send him a video of you trying to cook something disastrously, or you show up at his door with snacks and zero expectations, or you simply sit beside him in comfortable silence, knowing that sometimes he just needs someone to witness him without demanding he perform.
You've become his safe harbor, the one person who doesn't need him to be entertaining, who doesn't need a photo op or a clever caption, who loves the quiet, unfiltered version of Cater Diamond that exists in the spaces of his quietude, and heâs grateful to have you by his side.
TREY CLOVER
childhood friends to lovers + you canât cook
Ever since you were kids, youâve always stuck together with Trey. Not just because you guys were neighbors or that your parents were friends with each other or that the two of you were playmates, but also because he would look after you on days that you have no one. He was there when your parents couldnât take care of you while you were sick, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was there when it felt like you had no one in the world but him.
Naturally, the two of you would grow close, closer than everyone else, and of course, such feelings would bloom. From the very start, the two of you are meant to be togetherâthe stars worked hand-in-hand for this fated meeting, or what you would like to say. After all, there had been too many coincidences: the way your families just happened to live next door, the way you both ended up at Night Raven College despite coming from completely different backgrounds, the way he always seemed to have exactly what you needed before you even knew you needed it. It's like the universe kept nudging you two together, weaving your paths so intricately that separating them now would be impossible.
You love telling the story of how the both of you got together. It was the classic date that you thought was too friendly until he brought out the flowers then took you to this secluded spot where the scenery stole your breath alone. Fireflies gently lit up the dim place, highlighting the softness of his features, as he told you of his long-time yearning and affection that transcended the bounds of friendship alone. You were the first one he had ever liked and you will be the only one, a puppy love that was never puppy love at all.
And then, he brought out a cake for the two of you to eat togetherâyour favorite flavorâand you made the mistake of asking him how he knew you were going to say yes.
"You werenât exactly hiding it.â Cheeky bastard. He was also obvious, you know, he was just waiting for the right chance to bite.
On the matter of your relationship, it feels as if nothing have changed between the two of you. Itâs always been the same; you-and-him, you-and-him, you-and-him. The constant you and Trey, childhood friends, schoolmates, and lovers. He just became more attentive towards you and his reasons for always seeking you have become more valid now that youâre also his significant otherâback then, it was hard to hide behind the excuses when the two of you were just merely labeled as âchildhood friendsâ. After all, what reason can he come up with wanting to see you every minute without him sounding like some dependent, inseparable leech?
Anyways, thereâs also the thing of you and him in the kitchen. No, not a rumor or some gossip, but how heâs versed in cooking and baking, and youâre not.
âTrey, you know I canât cook.â You would say, your tone dejected. If you had ears, they would obviously be drooping low. Trey, however, only laughs softly as he holds your hand in his. âI know, itâs not as if we didnât grew up together and I wasnât a witness of your culinary mishaps.â That was true.
âBut you wonât make fun of me?â And he would answer: âWhy should I? In fact, Iâm relieved. I have more reasons to take care of you.â
While everyone tries to keep you out of kitchen in fear of a disaster waiting to happen, Trey would actually encourage you and even teach you. He would even eat whatever you make no matter how suspicious and weird it looks, noting of how it still tastes good because you made it with your whole heart. Cheesy, you would remark as you roll your eyes but you appreciate it, truly. That was the difference between him and the othersâhe was never one to deny you or stop you from doing what you want.
Thatâs the best way to summarize your relationship: you were each otherâs pillar of support. And you arenât aware of it, but youâve also become his guiding light, a warm presence, and a gentle hand to hold.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
opposites attract, except heâs scared of you
Leona is arrogant and rough, whereas, youâre known as the kindest and sweetest person ever to be paired with the arrogant man. Itâs a wonder to everybody why and how the both of you even got together; theories would even come up consisting of how maybe he had threatened you, maybe this was a fake relationship or a bet, or maybe this was the old arranged marriage trope, or whatever ridiculous claim they could come up. After all, one should never underestimate how creative the minds the NRC students are.
Some may even feel pity; why him? I wonder how much [Name] has to go through just to please him. It must be rough having the Leona Kingscholar as your partner. Iâm sure heâll get bored of them quickly.
However, such comments would be shut down quickly as soon as Leona heard of it, ensuring that it doesn't reach your ears.
What they donât see or even see but refuse to believe is how sweet Leona actually is. He cares for you truly despite how sharp his tongue can beâconcerned masked in the only language he knows to speakâ, he adores you through his actions and gifts, and he cherishes you even if he doesnât admit such feelings. Heâll try to be gentle but such gentleness will only met with your reassurance that he doesnât have to change himself just to make you happy.
After all, you know he loves you and he appreciates that. Still, he tries, not because he has something to prove but because he believes that you deserve the whole world, so heâll make it roll underneath your feet and give you everything you will ever want and more. He may not be able to give you the glory of a queen, but you will find such titles useless when it comes to his affections.
Heâs incredibly possessive and can be bitter at times though, that I can say.
Though most of all, what they definitely donât see is how Leona is, in fact, scared of you. Not scared scared but a respectful kind of scared and the type of scared that only comes when one doesnât know what else you are capable of. Only Ruggie is aware of this fact and would use it to his advantageâhe would always call for you like you are some kind of superhero back-up when Leona is skipping class, doesnât want to get up his bed, or when heâs just being unpleasant (and by unpleasant, he means when heâs being treated as his personal maid too much).
âYou see, if you keep on acting like this, Iâm going to call [Name].â Ruggie would remark casually and it appears he is jolted awake. The hyena would only laugh at himself, blatantly using your name as a shield to make things easier for him and to even get back to his housewarden.
âLeona.â A simple call of his name and he behaves, clicking his tongue and glaring not at you, but to everyone else in the room. He can never get mad at you, never.
Thereâs just a certain kind of fear that comes when the love of your life is the kindest person you will ever meet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and is also the calmest person. Yes, he wouldnât dare mess with you and incur your wrath.
It's not that he's weakâhe'd tear apart anyone who threatened you without a second thought. It's that you're the one person whose good opinion he actually needs, and the idea of being the reason your light dims even a little? That's the one battle Leona Kingscholar refuses to lose. Thus he pretends to roll his eyes at your nagging, pretends your concern is annoying, but everyone in Savanaclaw knows: if you're upset with him, the King of Beasts becomes a very, very well-behaved lion.
Remember the theories? Yeah, the most popular and believable one is that you actually were the one doing the threatening.
JACK HOWL
savanaclaw bf x pomefiore significant other
A cute edition of Beauty and the Beast.
Just imagine an all-smiley person walking down the hallway and then imagine a menacing shadow of a man lurking behind them. Yep, thatâs you and himâif you weren't already intimidating, then you definitely will be with him right beside you.
Heâs rather overbearing and protective. He may not get jealous easily, but he sure as hell does get worried for you easily, and you would be lying if you said that you didnât like it. Jack pampers you a lot and spoils you, not in gifts but through his actions. Heâs big on acts of service, taking away the burden that lies on your shoulders, so that your today is better than yesterday. Itâs not that he doesnât want you to lift a finger or to take on an easy path by making others do itâthat goes against his principles of self-bettermentâitâs just that he believes the weight you carry is his to help bear.
He doesnât believe that youâre incapable, in fact, he respects you so much of your capabilities. He just sees your struggles as real and valid. He won't fight your battles for youâthat would rob you of growthâbut he'll stand right beside you, offering his strength, his patience, and his steady presence to make the climb less steep. To Jack, love wasnât to give you an easy path; it's about walking the hard one with you, step by step, until you're both stronger for it.
Your peace matters to him just as much as his own integrity and principle does. Whenever youâre stressed out, heâs also stressed out; when youâre happy, heâs also happy; when youâre sad, well, he doesnât know what to do. He may stumble and fail, but that doesnât mean heâll leave you at that state. Heâll bring you somewhere that he thinks will take your mind off such heavy things, heâll treat you to something sweet, heck, heâll do anything.
Heâs incredibly patient towards you and would give in to your whims, even if he is reluctant at first. Just this once, he would say. Heâd rather you do it with him rather than with anyone elseâdespite the fact that itâs just you wanting to try on your new make-up and skincare products that you got. Heâs your willing model and audience to your fashion shows, swooning at the sight of you even if youâre just wearing rags and trash bags. Heâs incredibly supportive and offers honest opinions, which helps you a lot, especially when youâre indecisive. He doesnât mind if what youâre wearing can be a little short or revealing, he can fight, so donât worry about it.
You can easily tell Jackâs feelings and emotions just from the drooping of his ears and the movement of his tail. Itâs endearing, really, how tough he may appear on the surface but how easy it is to read him once you start noticing the small details. Heâs nonchalant, they say, heâs tough, they say, heâs stoic, they say. Well, not to you and that is a privilege you would love to show off to others.
Oh, but if anyone dares to mess with him, just know that theyâre also messing with you.
As what was written, itâs a cute edition of Beauty and the Beast, except each role applies to the both of you. Youâre the beast to his beauty, just as youâre the beauty to his beastâpeople just fail to realize that and think that youâre all sunshine and rainbows. They always overlook the things on the inside just because the outside is pleasant and fragileâitâs always in the tension of the in-between, the differences of what one sees and what is truly felt. They donât see the beauty of the inside of your heart, simply because the outside is enough and it irritates you how much they downplay your entire existence into a single word. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Heels can hurt too, you know.
RUGGIE BUCCHI
partners in crime
If they think Ruggie is already a headache, just wait until you come into the picture, because now itâs a full blown migraine.
Itâs a 2 for 1 deal, a buy-1-take-2, a package one should never want to have no matter how tempting. They say two brains work better than one, but the thing about you both is that your brains are so similar to each other it just counts as one. If you were a goody two-shoes from the start of your relationship, youâll slowly start to sound like him or act like him, and it scares everyone. It doesnât even matter if you came from a wealthy background, youâll learn of his ways soon enough.
Wherever he is, you are also there, and vice versa. Itâs as if seeing either you or him on your own is an odd sight (even if youâre from different dorms). Whereâs [Name]? Whereâs Ruggie? Nobody ever asks how is [Name]? Or how is Ruggie? Sad face, sad face.
He nabs something from the pocket of an unsuspecting student and he shows it you with a look of pride. Be it snacks, trinkets, or even secrets, the two of you share it with each other. Heâll even teach you how to be quick with your hands and itâs up to you if you are to follow his example or not. Nothing and I say nothing will ever get through the sheer trust you held for one another.
By extension, too, you also get dragged into Leonaâs bread request during bakery day, battling with the others to get that deluxe grilled cheese and returning to him with messed-up uniforms and a tired look on your faces. Ruggie will fix your hair and youâll fix the wrinkle on his clothes, and Leona is just there, watching with disgust.
Your favorite pastime activity involves being haters towards stuck-up and out-of-touch rich kids. Yeah, gossip, gossip, gossip. The two of you have become infamous for it; they say if one sees you and Ruggie together, whispering to each other and snickering, chances are, you already are talking about someone in the room.
Itâs not obvious to anyone else that the two of you are dating. Maybe itâs because you arenât openly affectionate to each other like other couples are; itâs always been something that you show behind closed doors. However, itâs also not really a wow factor when you would declare the actual nature of your relationshipâit makes sense, they just never thought of it. Itâs common to get an, âoh, okay,â than a âwow, I never knew!â reaction.
Ruggie, as obvious as it is, is not really one for gift giving and even gift receiving. I donât think heâs fond to receiving expensive stuff, too, because it would just show the disparity the two of you might have and would also put some pressure on him to give something of the same value back. Sure, he appreciates it, but really, he wouldnât know what to do with it.
By that same reason, he has his own way of showing that he cares, as shrewd and self-serving he can be. You have to drop those textbook expectations of romance and see that those are not the only ways because Ruggie's love language is not written in the center of grand gestures.
He'll slip an extra portion of his hard-won cafeteria haul onto your tray, muttering something about how you "look like you haven't eaten properly in days.â He'll remember the exact snack you mentioned liking once, months ago, and suddenly it appears in your hands. He'll teach you his tricks with the reason that he never wants you to feel as helpless as he once didâif the world ever turns its back on you, he needs to know you can fend for yourself too. When you're having a rough day, he won't offer empty platitudes; instead, he'll drag you to some overlooked corner of campus, share whatever meager treat he's scrounged up, and sit with you. Although he'll complain loudly about having to share his spoils, the complaint itself is the cover for the care he's too guarded to say outright.
When you catch him in those small momentsâwhen he thinks you're asleep and he gently adjusts the blanket over you, or when he absentmindedly saves the last bite of something for youâyou realize that Ruggie Bucchi doesn't love in diamonds and declarations. He loves in the quiet assurance that you'll never be alone, never be left behind, and that, more than any expensive gift, is worth everything.
a guide to being in a relationship with your local chrysos heir, phainon | established relationship, fluff, boyfriend headcanons, phainon is the sweetest ever, this is my coping mechanism after all that angst | wc: 1.2k
note from me â tweaking so bad i wrote this in an hour while waiting for maintenance
Give it up for the worldâs greenest flag ever, even the most lustrous and beautiful of grass would be put to shame in front of him. No one will ever be the nameless hero, Phainon of Aedes Elysiae.
You never have to beg nor plead in front of him, heâll let the world roll on your feet if it needs to. Heâll give you anything that you ask for or even mention in passing; that one vase you think is cool even though it wonât match your furniture? Bought and delivered to your door by yours truly. How about that dumb painting that looks funny but is too expensive? Yeah, he bargained like a professional. You want his door? Sure, go ahead, he doesnât need thatâoh, you were joking?
Sometimes it becomes too much that you have to tell him, ââŠAnd no, I donât need it. I just like seeing it.â Or whatever you could come up with just to stop the gears of his mind from turning.
IS GOOD WITH KIDS !! Heâs so well-known in the small community of children for how understanding and amazing he is, how heâs able to easily get along with them (even the grumpest ones), as he is able to catch up with their tricks and games. Other than that, they also know how heâs so in love with you. Like deeply in love with you even the children know itâsome of them are disgusted (because cringe, ew, what is love?) and some listen to him talk about you with a sparkle in their eyes.
You didnât even have to introduce yourself to them, they already know who you are. They know you before you know them, they have seen you despite never having met you. âMister Phainon said that you have stars in your eyes and that not even the greatest of bards can compare to the melodies of your voice! He also said your hair isââ The little girl is stopped by the snow-haired man beside you, a nervous chuckle slipping past his lips. Are you embarrassed, ashamed, angry, or none of those things? Nevertheless, he gets a pinch on his cheek as he surrenders, both hands up in the air. Apologies slipped past his lips, compliments smoothly mixed into it: âIâm so sorry, youâre just so lovâOW!â
HORRENDOUS FASHION TASTE, however. You are not Lady Aglaea, but you have the eyes to see and judge the atrocity of combination presented and worn by your lovely boyfriend. âTake it off.â You say, and he blushes like a virgin whoâs finally getting it: âW-Wait, we possibly canât do it, not when thereâs people around.â NOT LIKE THAT!! The redness of your face covered by your palms is all he sees. Oh dear, you know he wishes to simply wear all his favorite colors at once, but at this rate, heâll look like a walking decorative pine tree meant to represent the spirit of holidays.
On the topic of clothes, the two of you match often. Colors, patterns, and everything that you can, and sometimes, itâs not limited to clothes. Bracelets, necklaces that spell out each otherâs initials, teleslate charms, wallpapers, and everything. You and him are like pieces of puzzles that are meant to complete each other, because it really is like that. You and Phainon are the embodiment of one another, tangled in the strings, destinies carved by the sun to be together, hearts burned to beat into one.
SPARRING MATCHES AND FRIENDLY COMPETITIONS which always end up giggles and fits of laughter. In play-wrestling, he often lets you win, allowing you to to tackle him to the ground while you grin above him, teasing him of his title and his strength. âOh, yeah?â Is all he says before your world spins and your positions are now reversed.
Beyond those things, he is the type to serenade you in the kitchen while humming or under the moonlight when the stars are watching. The type to have your date already planned to every detail and only tells you that you just have to show up (heâll pick you up even). The type to give you your favorite flowers even though you never told him. The type to leave notes all over your home, letting you play into some scavenger hunt game until you end up in his arms, right where you belong. The type to be overly worried and anxious whenever he has to leave, knowing that it could take a long time and he might not see you for days, so he entrusts you into the hands of his trusted friendsââPhainon had asked me to bring this to you, he mentioned you were craving for it.â ; âSnowy asked us to ensure that youâre eating well!â ; âHere, it will help you fall asleep and he says you will need it the most.â
Itâs stupid, and it makes you more fearful, and he has to reassure and comfort you through tears when he has come home because it felt like he wasnât going to. âYou made it feel like youâre going to die!â You sob, smacking his chest and he accepts itâyour pain, anger, sadness, everything, heâll take it.
Kisses? Showering you with it always, especially when the both of you are alone. He loves it when you do the same for him tooâstain him with the marks of your affection, wonât you? Additionally, he likes to kiss you and interrupt each of your every word until it dissolves on his tongue and you give in to his warmth.
Hands? All over you already. It is for sure that physical touch along with acts of service ranks the highest on his love language chart. Your hands are always intertwined with his, he would always give you pats or ruffle your hair into a mess because he likes to tease you, and he lingers so close to you that your shadows might as well fuse.
On the mention of acts of service, heâs always at the beck and call for you. Think like Kenâs Barbie senses except itâs Phainon (and his ahoge is his antenna). He senses a disturbance in the air? Heâs there already; pure exaggeration, but it feels like that often. âI know you can do it but allow me to help you because I want to,â heâll say to you, a gentle reassurance, after you insisted that you donât need his assistance and you donât want to burden him. He likes it when you rely on him but he will still adore you the same if you wish not to.
Jealousy? Who even dares to mess with you, or him?
Nicknames? Thereâs a lot. Endearing ones, especially. His partner, his lovely sun, his dearest buddy, his comrade, his, his, and only his. Always dear to him.
Itâs not hard to find comfort in him, even the mere presence and thought that heâs here, that youâre here, that you have him is enough to ease the tension on your shoulders. He is warm, you are warm in his arms, enveloping yours as if heâs shielding you from all the harm this world will bring to you. It feels as if knowing you is something easy and small for himâunderstanding the cracks of your skin, mended together by softness, tracing them like constellations, cradling you all the same because it is yours.
He simply adores the smile he gets to put on your face or the laughter that bubbles from your throat. Itâs something heâll never forget, deeply engraved into the corners of his mind, the essence of yourself tainting the edges as if youâve become a part of his soul.
premise â it was almost funny how easily divinity unraveled with just a simple touch. one moment, he was a paragon, a hero. the next, just a man in the rags of his childhood, clinging to the ghost of a dream; alternatively, when everything comes crashing down and it all feels too much, you're there to comfort him.
content tags & warnings â minor quest spoilers, established relationship, insecure and soft phainon, reader comforts him, lots of reassurance, slight angst, themes of self-hatred and guilt, mentions of depressing thoughts, hurt/comfort, word vomit, i canât do this no more, not proofread | wc: 2.4k
jellyfish notes â lord take phainon's pain and suffering, QUADRUPLE it, and give it to lygus
PHAINON is a shaky fawn running before he could ever learn how to walk.
Undeniably, he is also a great performerâhe is meant to be viewed under the light, to be seen as a comfort to all, to be deemed a hero in many childrenâs stories shared in the spaces of Okhema. He is perfect with his own flesh carved from the remains of the divinity that carries the dawn. And though he holds a heavy turmoil of emotions that clashes within like a never-ending battle, he smiles and laughs like a young boy who had never known misery.
But sometimes, he wishes he can end it all.
Memories, beautiful and tender, are a heavy burden, inextricable from the ache of remembrance. It follows and lurks in his shadows, whispering in the hours when the world seems too loud and his mind is too hollow. They surface in the broken stillness between heartbeats, in the way his hands ache and his skin numbs when sleep refuses to come, when the loud thoughts of what was and what could have been pressed down like a knife between his ribs. Oftentimes, it haunts him even in wakefulness, when the dreams are not enough to hold him downâan endless stream of smiles turned to ash, of laughter drowned by silence, of everything turned to nothingness.
âI donât want to die.â
âWerenât we best friends forever?â
âWhy did you⊠kill me?â
And in those moments, when the edge between holding on and letting go thins to a thread, he wonders if these memories, these voices that he hears, and these faces that he sees are a gift or a nooseâif they are meant to remind him he once lived, that they once laughed alongside him, chasing the sun as the wind kisses their skin. Or to taunt him with the unbearable lightness of continuing to do so with their blood on his hands.
(A mad dog is still a mad dog even if it weeps. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him. His guilt will not purify him.)
âPenny for your thoughts?â Heâs taken out of the little bubble of his mind when he hears your voice; he didnât even notice you enter his room. How muddled his mind was with thoughts that threaten to claw its way out of his skin and bleed into his blade.Â
You linger near the doorway, a smile on your face, with a basket of Okhemaâs finest fruits in your hands, and when he sees you, his expression softens.
âItâs you,â he says, walking to where you are standing, âHow long have you been standing there?â
âNot long.â
âYou should have called for me.â
âI did.â Ah, well, it seems like he didnât hear you. He scratches the back of his head and flashes an apologetic smile, before taking the basket in your hand to replace it with the weave of his fingers into yours. He leads you to where the loungers are to where he will sit beside youâeven though another one is placed right in front of you, but he chooses the cramped space on your side.
âPray tell to this lover of yours whatâs the great Deliverer thinking?â
âYou know I am not great.â
âYou may think that way, but you truly areâ
He eases into silence at your words and he avoids your gaze, his own falling to your knees that brushes against each other, to the ground that seems to gaze back to him.
âDo you think Iâll ever be enough for the fate of this world?â The question comes out soft, uncertain, like he never knew how to say the words despite having it plague him so much.
âWhy do you think so?â
âI feel like I havenât done anything right. How could I ever be worthy of something grand and beautiful? How could I ever be worthy of anything?â The trust of his comrades, the applause of the crowd, the cheers of the children, everything that praises his name. He wasnât as strategic as Aglaea, he wasnât as wise as Tribbie, he wasnât as courageous as Mydei, he wasnât as compassionate as Hyacine, he wasnât as knowledgeable as Anaxa, he wasnât as careful as Cifera, and he wasnât as kind as Castorice. What is he, if not a wretched mimicry of his alliesâa hollow echo of their lives, stitched together in some pitiful facsimile of being?
Aside from being a fool and a prisoner, all he has is his name and the title, Deliverer. Hand in hand with him is wrath and all the ugly things that rots in his heart.
âYou still think you know nothing, donât you?â
You guide him to look at you, to see the tenderness of your gaze solely meant for him. He doesnât answer nor does he meet your eyes; itâs something that he does when he is scared, when he is afraid that youâll scorn him for what he says when in actuality, you wouldnât, and you never will.
âMay I hold you?â
He exhales, almost like a laugh. âThere is no need to ask.â And so you did, wrapping your arms around him and allowing him to lean into your embrace, to find the warm and dwell in it. You feel him relax, inhaling your scent tinged with sweetness.
âWill you listen to me?â
âI always listen to you.â
"Mm," you hum, fingers weaving through his hairâgentle, possessiveâas if you could anchor him to this moment with touch alone. And when you speak once more, your voice is quiet, but it cuts through the weight in his chest like dawn through night: âThere is no 'worthy'âonly the terrible, beautiful act of reaching. And you reach, even now, you reach.â
He does not answer, so you continue: âYou have done a lot of things and shouldered too much. You have bled for this world more than it has ever asked of you." The silence between you and him settles like a living thingâa breath held too long, a storm compressed into the space of a heartbeat. When you speak again, your words are slow, deliberate, like stones placed one by one into the scales of his doubt: "That does not make you weakâit makes you human. And humanity is the heaviest weight of all. There is no need to make yourself feel smaller.â
âYouâre a good person and your anger doesnât make you less than what you are, neither are you less than your alliesâyou are only different. And difference is not failure, Phainon. It is the space where your own name finally fits.â Your fingers drift from his hair, tracing a slow path down to rest between his shoulder bladesâa steady pressure, soft pats in between words as it falls from your lips. âYou should not find the need to compare yourself to those who walk lighter, as if their paths were not paved with different kinds of thorns.â
Phainonâs voice falters, muffled by your skin where he buried his face into: âBut I could have done better for them.â
âI know. I know you wish you could have done better, but sometimes, itâs all you can do and thatâs enough. Doing is all that matters.â And itâs everything that will ever matter.
He is as ragged as a torn parchment, standing thereâworn out at the edges like paper left too long in the rain, ink bleeding into indecipherable wounds. Every muscle trembles with the effort of holding himself together, caught between surrender and the terrible urge to step forward anyway, to let the line cut him open if it must. The choice isnât really a choice at all; heâs already falling, has been falling, and the ground has never felt further away. "Then why does the guilt cling like smoke?"
"Because you carry what others let drift away," You lift his gaze, cupping his face in the cracks of your palmsâyour whole world in your handsâ, the desire to look at him gnawing and there, you finally notice the tears. âYou may think you have and should have everything at the palm of your hand, but you donât, and thatâs alright. Some things are never meant to be held just because it makes your hands bleed, just because it hurts. Sometimes the pain, the ache, should never be there. â
It catches the growing light like prisms, refracting all his broken edges into something dazzling, if only for this moment. âPhainon, you ought to know and accept that goodness will come to you, you never have to chase it.â The dawnâs light and the skyâs kindness stains the horizon the color of forgivenessâthat fragile blue that exists solely for you and him. It comes unbidden, as all true mercies do."You do not have to grasp at grace like it will slip away if you loosen your grip. It finds you, even when you are too weary to reach for it."
Itâs terrible. Itâs terrible that he knows youâll understand, because he will find himself, persisting in the here and there, of the misery and despair, and thinking that youâll understandâthat youâre the only one who will ever understand. Perhaps, the part of him that truly believed that he was only ever beautiful if he was ruined still remained, just buried underneath the rubbles of his mind that once housed youâbut you had touched him so tenderly, and sometimes, he wished you had brought destruction instead of something holy.
âIâm scared.â
âThen be scared. Do it scared.â
For a few seconds, the silence stretches between you, thin and fragile, before it shatters.
âI donât deserve you, do I?â The words are barely audible, ground between his teeth like shards of glass. You know very well what Phainon is thinking at this moment: that he is a sinner and not someone who brings salvation, that he is a fool who pursues such unrealistic wishes, that he is nothing but an ordinary human with gold in his veins.
You smile.
âYou and I are both sinners in this world, tainted and disgusting in each part of our own, spilling the blood of others for ours.â You didnât have to tell him, for he knew that already. The heinous sin that clothes the utter reverence that pesters, clinging to the lines of your palm, and the risk that comes into the execution of these feelings has long been revealed to him by your own heart. And, oh, the tenderness of his voice as he utters your name lulls the rough tide of his words, solidifying why you are doing this, why you are saying this, and why he bares himself in front of you in lieu of being separated by odious titles.
âBut what are such brands to one anotherâs affection anyways?â To have the chance to be intertwined with the incomprehensible cosmos and bask in the eternal stillness of the stars is nothing to whatever criminal titles you will be given with. You take his hand into yours, cuddled with the same tenderness your gaze holds for him, and for a moment, he nearly breaksâhis hands were stained with the same fractures heâd sought to mend, nevertheless, you hold them like a gentle grace. âAnd if you were to ask me if you are lovable, my answer will always be yes; unconditionally so. No matter how many lives we must go through.â
Clasped between the ruins of what was meant to be, his fingers trembledânot from fear, but from the weight of something worse: was it gratitude for being known? to be held, to be chosen, even as the stars itself had already disowned him?
âBut what if youâre mistaken?â
âSo let it be a mistake, if thatâs how it must feel. Let the doubt gnaw. Let the world call it delusion. I will keep answering yes until your bones believe it, until the wrongness wears grooves so deep it grows a new kind of right."
(How cruel, he thinks, to be given comfort when he deserved none. The wind had always been harsh and meticulous, balancing sin and salvation until it blurs into one. Yet here he wasâalive, unshackled, wrapped in something dangerously close to mercy.)
âBut what if I am not the same man youâve loved anymore?â
âSilly boy, you havenât changed at all.â
For a moment, the tension in him disperses slowly, like the tides that ebbs and flows, retreating from a shore that no longer seeks to drown. He exhales, and perhaps itâs the first honest breath heâs taken in years: ragged at the edges, but deeper than he expected.
âI wish you were here.â And the words taste bitter on his tongue.
âBut I am.â
Who were you fooling?
When the black tide had raged and swallowed everything, you were consumed by it, and you, too, had your life taken with these very hands you adored.
The blood of your laughter has already perished, you are nothing but a dream of the past that he holds on toâlike a muddied child whoâll never let go of their favorite toy. You are the one that grounds him to this very dirt that despises his feet; you are a curse that haunts and the warm embrace of a blessing.
He laughs, a resignation to dawn: âI guess, you are.â
When he wakes from this dream, it will not be you who will greet him, face adored with honey light, nor will there be any echo of your voice within these walls. The ticking of the clock will resume as the shadow at his heels grows teeth and hunger; a relentless specter that no amount of repentance will be enough to quiet it. Your warmth in his palms will have already bled into the air, replaced by the familiar kiss of steel and the heavier weight of a name he never wanted: Deliverer. A title that tastes like blood when he bites down. Even though it is truly not his.
But today, you are alive. Your breath fans his lips and your foreheads are pressed against each other. Your pulse thrums against his fingertips. Today, the sound of your laughter will be the only thing that fills the empty hollow of his being. Today, you are warm and death will not come to you nor him.
