Baby Koala!!

Here to share pieces of creativity. Just hoping for somethings 18 years old. Med student

[babykoala015]

Oh my!

The happiness and relief. The feeling of liberation you get after letting go of that one person who was creating so much emotional trauma to you.

This feeling of gaining your freedom back is not less than being intoxicated by alcohol.

[babykoala015]

Sometimes I don't mind others judging me, criticizing me.

I mean look at me, I judge myself everytime, about everything.

I always have something negative about every aspect of my life, whether looks, work, dressing sense and what not.

I'm always insecure about things that define me.

Doesn't that make me my worst enemy.

And doesn't claiming to be my worst enemy i'm repeating the vicious cycle of self sabotaging again.

Being humans, having this sense of self consciousness is weird.

Rather than achieving great things, it's often wasted in self critism.

[babykoala015]

[babykoala015]

I FEEL LONELY

I felt lonely today in a crowd of people

I felt lonely because I saw people caring for othe people

And here I am all by myself

I don't hate it

I love to be independent and self sufficient

But sometimes I wish

Just sometimes

That I need a friend to talk

To tell them about all my weakness & insecurities

I wish for it

Though I know it is not happening anytime soon

So here I am

Writing to romanticizing my loneliness

[babykoala015]

The thing is some people you love a lot test your loyalty so much, that you just get tired of explaining the truth.

And let them question and hurt you as much as they want.

[babykoala015]

Peak Indian hostel moment is you having stomach ache and you roomie removing your nazar/drishti.

(something my roommate did just now... idk to laugh or cry🫠🫠🫠)

[babykoala015]

[babykoala015]

STILL WATER RUNS DEEP

(Trailer)

Of every idea of humans that has find material existence, libraries, I believe are the most fabulous ones. Rows and rows filled with books of every human findings. Books containing knowledge from technology to medicine, from law to basic sciences, standing with findings of nature's most advanced evolution of consciousness. However this is not what brings life to a library, life of library is literature. Stories and poems, fiction and non fiction, books filled with romcoms, thriller, suspense, humor, horror and so much more. Literature are memoirs, of how this most advanced consciousness has interpreted the same world in different ways. In these books of library you will find stories that people have thought about and written down in papers and in the corridors of library you will find stories that people have felt and engraved in their hearts.

It's not easy to wake up early in the morning, atleast not for Hridya who spent her previous night from evening 6 pm to night 1 am, researching about her assignment, locked in her dormitory. The first thing she felt even before she opened her eyes in the morning was back ache, which confirmed she had exhausted herself last night. The next in line was burning sensation in her eyes informing her about her too long screen time and too short sleep. And then yawns, of course which need no further explanation as a lot has been mentioned about her last day's schedule. At this moment getting up was painful for her, but she did, she sat up on her bed and realized that the sun was too bright today. Squinting at the window, she could feel the outdoor zeal. She could hear the bustling of students outdoors. Any other day she too would have been as excited as others to go out and enjoy the day. Sundays are meant to be spent outdoors. However, today it all felt a bit irritating, and why not, when you have not slept properly. Sleep, according to her, should never be compromised, cutting  down on your sleeping hours will only make you less productive. Nevertheless, today was the day she had to do that, to submit her assignment which was due the very next day. She got ready for the day, all this while cursing herself for postponing her work.

Uncertainties. It's not wrong if we call Uncertainties as synonym of life. What is life if not sudden turn of events. Just until today morning I was on cloud nine. One phone call and here I am all broken, dreams shattered. I cannot think of anything right now. Oh God, I should just get out of this room right now.

Storming out of his room all Veer could think of was how he had missed this golden opportunity. Wanting to be a journalist against his parent's wish was a huge thing for him. Lack of family support can make things difficult. He thought getting a chance to be a columnist in a newspaper can be a way he could prove himself. However, the editor refused at the very last moment, stating lack of funds as the reason.

Getting down through stairs, he glanced at the sun. Setting down for the day, with oranges hues all around. For some reason he felt sun was radiating satisfaction. Satisfaction of a another day spent smoothly and then retiring for the night. There was a certainty in the way sun works. Something which he lacked in his life, he felt jealous. Realizing he was overthinking again he decided to dismiss his thoughts and  just go down for a walk.

Hridya was done for the day, she had finally completed her dreadful assignment which kept her on her toes for two days. She believed it was a good call to work in library rather than sitting in her room. Library makes one productive, you see almost all people around you studying, making it easier for you to study too. She was happy with her essay. She kept all her things in her bag. Her books, tablet, stationary and of course her consolation note. Note she had written to herself on a very dreadful day, to make her feel better everytime she was too stressed out.

However, the note was in no mood to be with her today and slipped out of her notebook without her notice. It fell gracefully under the table, hiding their from Hridya's eyes.

Library was his second home, his comfort zone. Every time he would feel down, he came here. Just to grab some random book and distract self from reality around him. With this thought he had entered today too and searched for the most peaceful corner.  He found one, with least people around it. Sitting down in an empty chair there, he stamped on a paper. By instinct, he bent down to see what it was. Picking it up, it looked like a letter. It read

Dearest me,

I know you are having a hard time again. A time where you feel like your future is in doubt, all cloudy. You feel you spent your past in vain for something that did not happen. And the present feels lonely, as no one to share your grieve. You feel like giving up, but why dear. Isn't it just a chapter in your novel of life. Were there not many other's which looked as if they will consume you and leave you hollow. But you made through it and now they are the time you feel proud about. That you endured them and made it so far. Then why worry, you Hridiya, ARE CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING. Just wait for the right time.

Yours' truly

Your own self.

Folding that price of paper and keeping it in his pocket, Veer could not stop himself from smiling. This was probably the first time he had come to library feeling low to read something and was leaving not engrossed in plot of a suspense thriller distracting him from reality. Today, he was leaving with strength to face his reality. This page of consolation could not replace any book today, nah he can't read anything else right now. His purpose for coming here was done, though in entirely different way.

Thanking and apologizing (for keeping the note without permission) to whosoever this Hridya was, he made his way to his dorm. Of course, with a pleasant smile.

(This is the first time I'm I have tried writing something like this. Ignore grammatical errors and do share your thoughts about it.)

[babykoala015]

TRUST

Someone breaking your trust hurts,

So does a broken friendship,

Loosing loved ones is painful too,

But you know what pains most is

Knowing that someone you trust the most

Will never trust you back.

Yes, I understand you have trust issues

I know how people used you in past

I am aware of those broken promises

My simple assurance will not be enough for you

And it hurts even more

That I'm being honest and truthful

That I have poured my soul in the promise

That I will never break your trust

That I can be your safety net if you ever fall

Yet you will hesitate to fall back.

But I hope, one day

Just someday you will understand.

~AnMi