Tio Best Girl

My blog is shit. Male, 21. Perpetually single. I'm always a slut for science. UW. Formerly Tio-Tionishia. Ask me whatever. http://myanimelist.net/profile/baconcon

[slimetony]

Are clowns patriotic

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

are you?

[slimetony]

I’m asking the questions here. Would a clown die for its country

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

everyone who has ever died for their country was a clown

[beynons]

this is the most powerful post I’ve ever seen

[deathbusters-blog]

[0rdi-deactivated20211118]

Everyone in Babylonia: Fuck!!! We can’t kill Tiamat!!! She’s immortal!!!

Gramps:

[alchyhol]

Everyone in Camelot: Fuck!!! We can’t kill Gawain!!! He’s immortal under the sun!!!

Gramps, as always:

[necroesque666]

What the fuck kind of history are y’all studying

[hasmashdoneanythingwrong]

A very fun one.

[relishboi]

before and after burger king

[buddhabrand]

you put them in the wrong order

[relishboi]

im going to rearrange your cellular state to that of a fucking cabbage you insect

[drarry]

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

[kingcounty-thotpatrol]

hey go fuck yourself

[drarry]

Oh so now the Columbine fanblog with an Annoying Orange icon is gonna preach to me, huh

[paler-than-thou]

[doubleca5t]

tumblr is a website made entirely of glass houses through which people are constantly throwing stones

[powerfulwizard]

Who’s Steve danuser

He’s currently the main world of Warcraft writer and narrative designer and he has a Huge fetish for women with blue skin. He’s partially responsible for why World of Warcraft has had such a sudden increase of sexy blue women lately. He retweets a lot of art of blue women. He also rewrote Nathanos’ (loyal zombie servant of sylvanas) character to have a human body, and he made that human body look like him, and he sometimes roleplays as him on Twitter. One thing with Nathanos, is that he loves Sylvanas Windrunner (blue elf woman who is the leader of the undead) unrequitedly, but he made it so actually she’s into him too. He also has a big statue of her in his office.

[powerfulwizard]

Some of the new races in the new expansion pack (but these aren’t all of them either)

[powerfulwizard]

[powerfulwizard]

Oh also, his self-insert character is blue too

[powerfulwizard]

[semusepsu]

it’s blue skin guy

[powerfulwizard]

That’s him, it’s literally him, Steve Danuser actually is the legendary Blue Skin Guy

[rslashrats]

the sims when everyone in your household falls asleep so the game automatically speeds up time

[coolglasseskyle]

Wish I could just reblog the video without the caption but whatever

[rslashrats]

yet, i have the power to delete this comment off of my post if i want to. tumblr is a small glimpse of what being a god might feel like, and i am soaking in as much of it as i can with my pupils

[brunz]

You, my sir, win all the internetz today. May I suck your epic cock? 

[brunz]

die

[treekoalago]

Did someone say treat!

[bapouro]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[shogosatake-deactivated20231014]

(clears my throat and stands at a podium) cock

[hardgore--alice]

[nyctosaurid]

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

[nyctosaurid]

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever. 

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons. 

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

[inkthecryptid]

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

[maphatingcharacteroftheday]

Today’s MAP Hating Character is: the Mine Turtle from asdfmovie!

[maphatingcharacteroftheday]

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS!!

[maphatingcharacteroftheday]

happy birthday to this legendary confirmation

[meladoodle]

It’s the greatest video I’ve ever filmed

[gingersofficial]

I was so confused for a second but this is so cute

[thepeacockangel]

An old fashioned doctor’s leech jar

[jonpertwee]

Bringing this out in the middle of my dinner party while the guests bang their fists on the table.

[cerastes]

That earthquake you felt just now was the collective grave rolling of every single historian in this world, a violent and heretical thrashing brought to this world by a single ritual word: Lelkidu.

[khe1]

i am a sexy vampire but my wife is an even sexier werewolf

[khe1]