So Bad It Hurts

I read bad fanfiction and I critique it. That's basically it. If you're confused by the citrus references, I'm Mama Yuzu, my followers are kumquats, and you should probably check out the FAQ. :) Submissions are closed until further notice. For professional inquiries/advertising opportunities/further info, please contact me at [email protected] Follow @mamayuzu21 !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); free counter Unique hits from 7/29/11

[bad-fanfiction]

Miss you and hope you're okay!

I got like a bunch of asks like 3 days ago why haha

but hi guys!  I'm still alive (I'm actually in Texas for work right now!  Texas is STRANGE) and doing well at my job.  I work really really hard 32+ hours a week and I'm learning new skills and I can ride a bike now and it's pretty cool!  Things may not always be the best, but I'm doing better now than I ever thought I could have when I was younger :)

If you wanna keep up with me on a more personal level, please feel free to follow me on Twitter, @thebluestmoon 

[bad-fanfiction]

Oh.

[bad-fanfiction]

Could you write a review of the legendary it's-so-awfully-bad-it-is-almost-a-talent fanfiction 'My Immortal' or maybe for a few chapters? It would give a thousand posts. (I hope the English is fine. It isn't my mother language). By the way, I love your Tumblr.

Thanks!

I think I've mentioned this before, but I won't touch My Immortal or My Inner Life or any of those really really famous badfics because there's very little I could say on them that hasn't been done before.

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I've been following you for a little while now and have decided to start up my own fanfiction blog. Any advice for one who is kind of new to snark blogging or blogging in general?

Have fun with it!

If you don't feel like reading something or posting that day, don't.  If it becomes boring to you, take a break.

Avoid being cruel.

Listen to all criticism.

Be friendly and approachable.  

[bad-fanfiction]

I was personally re-reading some of my old fanfictions and I was torn between some really bad sue-isms and some really fucking awesome plot twists

That's cool though!  You had some good ideas, and hopefully now that you're older, you can find a way to get those ideas to work out without resorting to cliches :)

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Assuming you're intimately familiar with My Immortal at this point (which given the blog I take it you are), do you have any tips for someone who's going to be cosplaying Ebony? I want to be so painfully in character that it causes those who've even heard of the fic in passing to collapse in a laughing fit.

I'd go with the character as portrayed in the My Immortal webseries- obvious bright-colored hair extensions, too much eyeliner/eyeshadow, Hot Topic-esque corsets with really bad lace, maybe some striped stockings.  

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Okay, I'm just gonna come out and ask, how do you say "this character had giant boobs" without sounding stupid, offensive, or like you're body shaming. Big breasts are usually pretty noticeable and I want to be able to say it without sounding dumb.

hmmm.

You could say they are busty?  You're right, it is often the kind of thing that people notice about someone pretty quickly.

[bad-fanfiction]

dear mama yuzu, today i began a conversation with a stranger by telling them i was looking up barack obama/mitt romney slash fiction. i felt you might be proud (or at the very least amused).

how did they take it?

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What does ENOBY mean, as a tag? I understand it's a character from a terrible fic, but what kind of post is it used for?

It's my "here be a Mary Sue" tag.

[bad-fanfiction]

You said something before about Asian BB creams. What is your opinion of them?

I've never tried any on my face, unfortunately!  I need really full coverage and have super oily skin and BB creams don't seem like they'd do the trick.

However, I've heard great things about the Skin79 stuff you can get on Amazon.  It's not super expensive, so it may be worth the try if you're looking for something relatively lightweight.

The American BB creams I've tried I hated!  My foundation standby is Revlon Colorstay Oily/Combination forumula in Buff.

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If any of the kumquats are going to Mechacon, I'll be there on Saturday!  Look for the lavender-haired lolita in a black and gold coord! :)

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I wish relationship worked like fanfiction. I see you. I like your face. I also like your personality. We get on. We kiss. You like my face. We get together. We do shit. It's cute. Not I like your face and personality. We get on. I have no clue if you like me. You mention having a crush on me. I manage to choke on a chip and ruin the moment. You find it endearing. I do not manage to regain oxygen in time to tell you I have a crush on you too before it becomes awkward. We remain friends.

Y'all seriously need to just tell people if you got a crush on them.  It'll be okay, I promise.

[bad-fanfiction]

Hiya. My friend and I read bad fanfics on the weekend, and our snarky attitude towards them have sky rocketed so much that we started reviewing some together. We want to open a tumblr just for fun. What would be your advice to someone who wants to run a bad fanfic account?

Have fun with it.  

Don't get nasty.

Only read badfics that interest you; it's no fun if you try to make yourself read stuff that's bad but you just don't care about.

Listen to all criticism.  Try to remain calm about it.

If you make a mistake, own up to it, apologize, and don't do it again.

Have fun with it.

[bad-fanfiction]

"Ally, I'm seventeen and you're fourteen. I have a life and friends of my own. I'm not taking my baby sister back to school shopping", Natalie said. Poor Ally. Natalie's always ditching Ally for her friends.

"But you're the only one that can go with me! Dad's at some stupid convention, and Mom's (insert mom details. Is she alive? on business? other?)", Ally said sounding desperate.

y'all, this is why you proofread

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Also!  I'm taking book recommendations.  If it helps, the last books I've read have been Deathless, Night Film, and We Are Water, along with Margaret Atwood's MaddAddam trilogy.

Books available on Kindle only, please!  I do not have a lot of room in this apartment for books, as much as that saddens me.

ETA:  Not interested in John Green or George RR Martin.

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(look I'm posting again and yes I'm still reading Austin & Ally fic and you can't stop me even though I watched like an episode and a half of it and didn't like it at all)

But I'm glad that it happened because that moment was HUGE! It was when I first discovered romantic feelings towards my best friend. I've kept it to myself since then, but I also vowed that I'd be her first everything. Her first friend, kiss, and boyfriend. Everything! And I plan to reach my goal of being her first and securing her as mine.

Can I just put it out there that this is a really gross way of wanting to date someone?

It's cool to be like "Ah!  I want to be her first love!  That would be so cool to get to experience that amazing feeling of falling in love together and knowing it's completely novel for both of us!!!!" because it's okay to think of your first love as special and to want it to be special but like

calling her your "goal" and "securing her"

no 

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quantumlocked-nightfury replied to your post: “Hi Mama Yuzu! First off I'd like to say that I really love your blog. Secondly I need some help. Now I used to write all the time, and I was good at it! But lately I haven't been able to write at all, not even with prompts. I used to be really passionate but now I find myself becoming bored after a few lines of writing. Do you have any tips?”:

when I can't make myself write, I go back and edit things I've already written and that usually gets me thinking enough about writing and wanting to improve or inspires me enough that I just open a new document and type away

Worth trying too!  I hate editing with a fiery burning passion (which is why my b-f posts are rambly and weird) but this may work for you, as all people write and work in different ways!