Shitty Room of Swords Headcanons

The absolute worst we can think of. 

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Don actually always has his cockroach features (antennae, wings), he's just gotten insanely good at hiding them

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[bad-ros-headcanons]

Tori’s tiddy armor from S1 was designed by Amelia. Perks of being the queen is making your gf some very *well fitting* clothes

are you sure you want to put this on the BAD headcannons page, buddy?

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Kodya’s gender is an enigma. He’s the girlfriend boyfriend Will Wood could only wish to be.

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[bad-ros-headcanons]

Maria weighs like 500 pounds from all the metal. Hijinks ensue.

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[bad-ros-headcanons]

These aren’t necessarily bad headcannons but Kodya’s latent empathy powers originated because he got along so well with animals back in Russia. He grew up on a farm and joined the war to support his family, and he was in charge of taking care of all the horses and dogs, and that’s why his wiki says he’s good at horse riding and why he tends to the animals in the RoS. He’s a horse girl.

Also he speaks some French from the war and he and Cib had constant conversations where everyone thought they were shit talking them, but they were just going over food they liked.

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[bad-ros-headcanons]

People in the RoS often just walked around with glowing purple eyes from a breaking point they couldn’t use like the people in anime who push up their glasses and they glint intensely.

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[bad-ros-headcanons]

I don't know if you accept submissions, I'm sorry if you don't, but I personally believe that they have incredibly chaotic ping-pong tournaments in the room of swords in their free time

[ros-textposts]

[bad-ros-headcanons]

note from the mod, 1/5/21:

Hello everyone, this blog has been pretty inactive for a couple of months and I would like to, firstly, say sorry. I had the best intentions making this blog but life kind of got out of hand. Secondly, I would like to say that while I can’t immediately spring this blog back into action, I plan to, within a couple weeks. I need to read/re-read Room of Swords to really get it going again; I am incredibly far behind and only now have the time to finish it. Thanks to the people who continued to submit headcannons, and happy New Year, everyone! :)

[bad-ros-headcanons]

At some point in time, Feather secretly grew weed in Don’s garden. 

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Long haired Gyrus makes Kodya do a couples costume of Rapunzel and Flynn/Eugene. Gyrus rocks Rapunzel, with his long hair done up in her braid, and loves every second. Kodya is more reluctant, feeling awkward in his costume and thinking others are judging it.

A fact that proves to be true when Kodya wins first prize for best costume and character protrayal, to Gyrus’ complete glee.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Much like Batman is actually aftaid of bats, Don secretly hates cockroaches. They’re the only thing that can beat him in battle, (he once caught one, smashed it, cut off its head and it still escaped) so he took his name from them.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Gyrus would use the portals to check up on Kodya and the others from time to time, just to make sure Don doesn’t try to off anyone. He swears its not creepy!

Hinju finds out and begins to join him, checking up on Xinju and the other clones. Unfortunately for both him and Gyrus, Xinju notices he’s being watched and jumps to the incorrect assumption he’s haunted. Then he mentions it to Kodya who admits to being haunted too, and the whole thing spirals into a Room of Swords wide ghost hunt.

To avoid getting caught, Gyrus and Hinju are forced to stop watching them for a while. To both of their disappointments.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Kodya was wearing a Cossack Uniform when he was found, so he may very well be wise in the ways of Cossack riding, which includes some very impressive tricks not limited to: mounting/dismounting in seconds, riding backwards, hanging off the saddle, planking on the saddle, standing on the saddle, and more.

Gyrus discovered this when Kodya tamed his first large animal. He tried to tell Kodya that if they were careful they could ride it home. Kodya proceeded to hop on the animal, and at Gyrus’ cry of surpise, effortlessly turn backwards on the creature. Noticing Gyrus’ astonishment, Kodya proceeded to do every trick he could think of, and quite a few he couldn’t, which ended in him nearly falling off the horse.

Gyrus thought it was just part of the act though, so Kodya counted it as a win.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

At some point, early in their stay in their training session, Gyrus had a nightmare in the cave. He expected Kodya to judge him, maybe scold him for waking him up, but all Kodys did was drag his sleeping bag over to Gyrus and sleepily soothe him back to sleep. It was the first time Gyrus saw a softer side to his mentor. The next day, Gyrus thought it was over, but Kodya put his sleeping bag right next to Gyrus’ again, not saying a word, and then proceeded to stand guard against any more nightmares.

Gyrus slept a lot easier from then on.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Masonaire Gyrus spent hours in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and perfecting that rhyme so he’d be able to sell his other selves the illusion that he’s cooler and more mysterious then they are. Unfortunately, he’s still the same hip cutouts wearing dork under that cloak, and sooner or later they’ll realize it.

[bad-ros-headcanons]

Back in the very first cycle, Ragan and Tori were a couple, Cib had a crush on Tori, and Cib and Kodya were old drinking partners who would whine about their lack of a love life.