Please help me find an AO3 Heated Rivalry fic! It’s a post-Long Game one where at an Ottawa vs. Montreal game Ilya shouts “We are in love, go fuck yourselves!” as he is ejected from the game.

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@bad3idea3
Please help me find an AO3 Heated Rivalry fic! It’s a post-Long Game one where at an Ottawa vs. Montreal game Ilya shouts “We are in love, go fuck yourselves!” as he is ejected from the game.
Hockey Player Shane Hollander/Mob Boss Ilya Rozanov idea:
Shane and Ilya are outed after falling deeply obsessively in love and during some bordering-unpleasant chirping in the Metros locker room right after, someone cracks a joke about how "Local Boston Businessman Ilya Rozanov" is definitley code for Russian gangster.
And poor, oblivious, has-not-meet-Ilya-yet, JJ tries to defend Shane and goes "Hey now not every Russian is in the mob, that's such a stereotype, right Vladimir?"
Vladimir Volkov, veteran Metros defenseman, responds, "Yes, is stereotype, not all Russians are bratva, but Ilya Rozanov is. He is a very dangerous man. Are you sure about him, Hollander?"
The room is stunned silent.
Then Shane sighs deeply and responds in Russian, "Yes, he is the love of my life."
Volkov stands and places his hands on Shane's shoulders, "Then you are going to be the safest man in the NHL"
And lo and behold, not a single Russian or Eastern European player checks Shane all season. Ilya is smug that his reputation proceeds him, Shane is fucking furious.
So Ilya and Shane's first game against the Bears post-outing is a surprising delight. It starts with a jumbotron video of street interviews of Boston fans being like "Yeah we thought Rozy was a total fucking idiot going to Ottawa but DAMN, moving for sexiest hockey player of the year Shane Hollander makes a lot more sense" which then fades into an Ilya Rozanov tribute video interspersed with various thirst-trappy videos of Shane to the song "Where is my Husband?" by Raye.
Ilya is delighted and even does the whole hand-waving choreography for "I would like a ring, a diamond ring" part in Shane's face as he blushes. He does this with his non-dominant hand of course, because they have been holding hands the whole video. (Shane will buy Ilya 7 different high-end diamond rings on Newbury Street the next day for him to pick from. Ilya like a good Slavic trophy spouse will pick all of them.)
And at the end, at the "Grandma said it," part cameras cut to Cliff Marlow in a curly gray wig and fake glasses shouting "Your husband is coming, Roz, don't fuck it up!
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Luca Haas, Harris Drover, Young (Game Changers), LaPointe (Game Changers), Holmberg (Game Changers), Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander Additional Tags: Fluff, Hockey Captain Duties, Centaur Rookies - Freeform Summary:
How the Centaur rookies got banned from Walmart and talking to the press and/or How Ilya and Shane's post Montreal game celebrations got interrupted that one time.
Ilya knows his father took him out of hockey at 15 because he was getting too good, was becoming less controllable with coaches whispering “NHL prospect” in his ear. He couldn’t do anything about it then but when his father and brother died in a sudden plane crash when he was 22, he had his cold, sad revenge. He consolidated all of Rozanov Enterprises and sold the lot of it at basement level prices to fuck-ups. Ilya then fucked around Europe for a few years with his millions until news reached him that the Boston Bears, who were suffering a year’s long slump, were up for sale.
Ilya cashes out everything he has to buy the team and turns it around with astute trades, reckless charm, and re-investments. He hits every business leader's 30 under 30 list by 27. The team loves him. Boston loves him. He, of course, meets Shane Hollander at an All-Stars game.
Shane had been outed and booted from the Montreal Metros and took a season off for “personal reasons”. He had to reckon with his anxiety and internalized homophobia because the worst had happened and he was still living. Everyone thought that would be the last of the once-in-a-generation talent. But he re-emerged as the new captain of the Ottawa Centaurs and shocked every hockey fan with the comeback story of the century. The Centaurs are fiercely protective of their captain and Ottawa would die for him.
Ilya and Shane fall in love as per usual and are outed as per usual. The press is obsessed with the narrative that business mogul Ilya Rozanov’s true genius is seducing star center Shane Hollander into joining the Bears. Ilys scoffs at the idea he needs professional motivation to sleep with his beautiful Shane but is quoted as saying “it would be nice for moya lyubov to live in Boston, my penthouse has such good morning light and a yoga studio around the corner” with a shit-eating grin.
Tearfully the Centaurs ask if Shane is going to leave Ottawa to be with Ilya and Shane has really had enough of it. In his next interview, when he is asked about “his close association with the owner of the Boston Bears” he is ready. As coyly as he can, he responds, “You know, I know Ilya wouldn’t mind if I moved to Boston, but relationships are a two-way street and Tom and Greta (the owners of the Centaurs) are looking to retire, but want to make sure the team is in good hands, someone who has a reason to love Ottawa and it’s players and with deep pockets to make necessary improvements for how our team has grown. My parents,” Shane looks straight down the camera as he continues, “You know Yuna, Ilya, who takes you to farmer’s markets and talks finance with you? And David, who learned how to make Russian dumplings for you and can’t wait for you to visit again so you can start the new puzzle he just got? They love coming to my games, but would enjoy it more if a new owner could improve the stadium seats? And while I know your place in Boston is nice, so is the cottage here in Ottawa. You could swim everyday and I’d always have a towel ready for you.”
Because, really, why couldn’t Shane be seducing Ilya into buying the Centaurs?
Now Boston is shaking in its boots, how can they compete with waking up to Shane Hollander everyday?
Ilya and Shane, in the end, take neither option. Shane doesn't want the conflict of interest of his partner owning the team, so Ilya sells the Bears to someone he loves and trusts with his baby (Svetlana) and fulfills his real life goal of being a house-husband, WAG, and eccentric philanthropist.
Imagine someone on the Centaurs going to Shane like “Rozanov just said I suck” to tattle on him and Shane responding with something 10x more devastating about their skills issue
Ilya may be an asshole, but Shane "have you considered being better at hockey?" Hollander will destroy your whole life with how little he cares about your ego.
I just heard a beautiful arrangement on “I Drove All Night” by Celine Dion (ft. Hartford’s Gay Men’s Chorus) and I nearly teared up thinking about Shane & Ilya in The Long Game
Harris Drover saw the gaggle of teens from a mile away and knew he MUST interview them. If they didn’t want to be filmed at Ottawa’s first home game with Shane Hollander, that would be fine. He just needed to talk to them, he knew it in his soul.
First these were obviously gay teens, the choppy dyed hair, the piercings, the giggling and demeanors, the all-of-it being shepherded by the most Canadian looking dad ever. A true fan too, Harris clocked the older Centaur logo on the older man’s cap.
Second was the “jerseys”. They were not jerseys so much as white t-shirts scribbled on with sharpies and creatively cut and pinned with buttons. Each had one of the starting line-up of the Centaurs written on their back with their number, but also some very artistic interpretations of the Centaur’s logo. Also so many hearts and stars and hand-drawn hockey sticks. They were so cute he could die.
He pushed through the crowd and reached them, only a bit out of breath in his rush.
“Excuse me” he said to the dad, holding out his hand “My name is Harris Drover, I’m with the Centaurs social media”
“Hello Mr. Drover, oh goodness, please don’t be too hard on the kids, they’re so excited about their shirts, it’s all just for fun.” the man responded, shaking it immediately.
“No no no, I’m not here about copyright, I just wanted to talk to you, maybe an interview for the team’s channels?”
“Holy crap, dad! We have too! This is so cool!” a petite teen with scraggly goatee and eyes that matched his father exclaimed.
“Well, I don’t know if your mother would be ok with it or any of your parents” he said looking at his son then the group. In a whisper, he leaned towards them and continued, “And I know it hasn’t been too easy for you kids online, with all those real jerks”
Jesus Christ, Harris’s heart just broke on the spot as the teens looked at each other in dismay. These kids were so brave and beautiful he almost forgot to think of the cruel world outside. He should know better, he lived it and now monitored the comments of the Centaurs TikTok, Insta, Facebook and ect.
“Wait a minute coach, maybe you could talk with Mr. Drover?” a girl with a grown-out pink bob and wearing her shirt Billie Eilish big piped up.
“Yeah dad, you’ve been a fan forever”
“Well yes swe-Aspen, my whole life as proper Ottawan should.”
Now that was an idea. The man, Jimmy McDunnigan, bashfully agreed after some very spirited encouragement from his son and his friends. Harris pulled the group to a quieter corner of the stadium with good lighting he knew about. He got photos of all the jerseys from the back and one great shot of the teens all posing and flexing faced away with Jimmy facing him with a double-thumbs up. He switched his work phone to video and turned it to the man of the hour.
“Now Coach McDunnigan, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”
“Well first up, I should mention, I’m not a coach, my …. son and his friends just started calling me that after I taught them the ropes of hockey before this game” he responded with an awkward pause of a man trying to remember a new word. He could see Jimmy take a quick glance at Aspen standing just out of shot and Aspen’s reassuring and proud smile back. “It’s also the same night the kids made their jerseys”
“The jerseys are beyond adorable, tell me more about them.”
“Oh gosh, is it ok if I start from the beginning?” Harris nods vigorously while making sure not to jiggle his hands.
Jimmy takes a deep breath in and says, “I’m just so proud of my son. I’m a season-ticket holder and have been for years, it’s the only reason I was able to get these tickets and I was so happy when Shane Hollander, good gosh, THE Shane Hollander joined our teams, though I know it wasn’t the best of circumstances. Rozanov is good, great even, but Hollander? Holy cow. Aspen here was really excited about hockey for the first time too and I was so happy we could share this. I promised him a Hollander jersey, if we could find one. Hollander has been such an inspiration for my son. He’s always been such a responsible young man and just one of the best players and now he’s gay too? It’s wonderful. Aspen has been showing me all of his old clips and I get to laugh and say, yeah I remember that one when it happened!”
God, Harris could just cry, it was all just so sweet.
“Well then Aspen went to school the next day and came home and said ‘hey dad, can we talk?’. I was worried but it was good news. He asked if instead of tracking down a Hollander Centaur’s jersey, the prices have just been getting so high, I could get another ticket for a friend of his from the Queer Agenda” Jimmy pauses. “That’s the LGBT and plus club at their school” he adds as an aside.
“The club and his friends there have gotten him through some tough times and he really wanted to pay it forward and at least have one other member come, they’ve all been so excited about Hollander playing for THEIR team”Jimmy chuckles at his own joke here, but continues
“And I thought, I can do better than that! So I asked some of my friends, other long-suffering fans with transferable seats, and the parents of these fine young kids and we scrounged up enough tickets for every member of the club! Now these kids know everything about music, the internet, politics and just everything except hockey” The teens outside the frame grin at this assessment.
“So Aspen and I plan a sleepover and I put together some slides. We learned the rules, the history and the kids all know Hollander and Rozanov, but the Centaurs have other really good players too! So I show them our starting line. I was half-way through when Jake pulled up Wyatt Hayes’s instagram and says ‘this is so me!’. Oh man I really felt like a teacher, all the kids pulled out their phones and started googling the players and deciding who was each one. And well, a six-pack of Hanes t-shirts and a raid of the Mrs’s crafts closet later, that is how we got the jerseys.”
This was the best day of Harris Drover’s life. He knows he has said that many times, but this was for real. And, good god, if it was that last thing he ever did, he was going to get every member of the Queer Agenda their corresponding player’s official jersey. And maybe Coach Wiebe wouldn’t mind signing something for his fellow coach?
So after Shane leaves the Metros, the team starts sending out Hayden Pike to do press to cover their asses and keep their more asshole-ish players from saying slurs in front of reporters.
After one inconsequential game, a reporter asks about what Coach Theriault and Hayden think of the future of hockey with their former star player playing with his husband. Theriault says some shitty PR nothing answer laced with so much disdain that Hayden just. can't. take. anymore.
Obviously his team wants him to shit-talk his best friend and de facto brother-in-law who happen to be playing the best hockey of a generation (he will never let Ilya know he thinks this). The reporter obviously is chomping at the bit for a "dissension in the locker room" story that will make his life even more miserable. So, fuck the both of them.
"and how about you Hayden, what do you think about the future of hockey with Hollander and Rozanov?"
"Well, I think they should get on having kids, like surrogacy or adoption of something"
Dead silence, the reporter blinks in confusion. He can feel the glare coming off Theriault burning into the side of his face. He doesn’t turn his head and blithely goes on.
“Yeah, specifically 3 girls. I have 3 girls so if they have 3 girls, we’d have a whole hockey team to start in the pee-wees and get to the PWHL. My Ruby would obviously be a defender. She’d spend her whole life in the box, but she'd be such a good enforcer, especially if she was playing with her sisters. Jade is sneaky fast, so forward for her. And I know Amber is a baby, but I swear she’s got goalie eyes. My son Arthur is already the peacemaker of the family, so Uncle Shane could start training him up on all the rules so he can be our ref. But Shane and Ilya would have to get themselves another defender and a right or left wing with a center. Yep, that’s the future in hockey I’d love to see with Hollander and Rozanov”
Thus Hayden makes headlines bigger than any other time in his whole career. His time in the locker room does get shittier, but it’s all worth it for the call from Shane telling him that Ilya loved his vision of the future so much he cried looking at baby girl names online and researching PWHL teams.
I really need Shane to say “I prefer assholes from Boston” after the next 5 million people ask him “Weren’t there any nice boys in Montreal?”
Yes, Iyla Rozanov has made Shane an “I love you but your taste in music is garbage” playlist, but I raise you Rose Landry’s “Eff Montreal, Here’s every Taylor Swift song about being wronged”.
Subsequently, Shane is surprisingly Taylor Swift literate. So after the Centaurs win the cup and Rose is in town, she drags them out to celebrate with karaoke and pulls Shane on stage for “The Life of a Showgirl”. The whole world is shook by typically humble and professional Shane Hollander singing “and all the headshots on the wall of the dancehalls are the b*tches who wished I’d hurry up and die, but I’m immortal now, baby dolls, I couldn't if I tried” Extra autistic sass on the “I couldn’t if I tried”.
The perfect American taskmaster is Conan O'Brien and/or Jane Lynch. Sam Reich is the only acceptable taskmaster's assistant because the American Taskmaster reboot needs to happen on Dropout.