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@badattitude14-blog
my requirements for sleeping at night: is the pillow cool enough? are my legs positioned so they don't put too much weight on each other? are my arms tucked in nicely and not at odd angles? can I stop thinking about the day's events? is enough of my body out from under the blanket that I won't overheat? are my toes safely tucked in to hide them from monsters?
my requirements for sleeping in the morning: is the surface vaguely horizontal and not made entirely out of hornets
Friends Merchandise: http://bit.ly/1hr0rsz
alex-clover-sam:
Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says āOpen wideā is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.
when you typeĀ ādog bless youā instead ofĀ ādog bless youā
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I TYPED DOG BLESS YOU TWICE FUCK I RUINED MY OWN TEXT POST FUCKING SHIT
I watched this without sound and had absolutely no idea what was going on
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Reblog if youāre not going to vidcon
IN CASE YOU DIDNāT KNOW THERE IS A FRANCHISE OF MOVIES ABOUT TORNADOES WITH SHARKS INSIDE OF THEM
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING ONE DAY SOMEONE WAS LIKE āYO I HAVE THIS IDEAā āNATURAL DISASTER TORNADO MOVIEā āBUT WITH SHARKSā AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM WAS LIKE āLETāS FUCKING GO.ā
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING I DEFINITELY WILL ALWAYS BE THE FRIEND IN THE ROOM WHO SAYS āLETāS FUCKING GOā WE ONLY GET SO MUCH LIFE WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU MIGHT BE SWALLOWED BY A SHARK WITH NO CHAINSAW TO BREAK YOURSELF OUTĀ
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IN THE EVENT THAT THIS MOVIE EVER WERE TO BECOME REALITY THE SHARKS DEFINITELY DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS NO SHARK EVER SAT IN A ROOM WITH OTHER SHARKS AND WAS LIKE āYO I HAVE THIS IDEAā āLETāS GET INSIDE A FUCKING TORNADOā āAND HAVE IT HURL US AT MAJOR METROPOLISES IN AMERICAā YOU CAN TELL THIS BY THE WAY THE SHARKS FLAIL AROUND AND HOW SO MANY OF THEM DIE AND HOW THEY DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO STAY IN THE OCEAN
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING I DEFINITELY WILL ALWAYS SYMPATHIZE WITH THE SHARKS ON THIS ONE IāVE BEEN OCEAN CREATURE SUCKED INTO A TORNADOĀ ONLY TO BE MADE VILLAIN BY THE THING THAT PUT ME THERE IāVE BEEN HURLED AT PEOPLE UNWILLINGLYĀ SHOUTINGĀ āIāM SORRY IāM SORRY IāM SORRYā AS I FLEW INVOLUNTARILY TOWARD THEM I KNOW WHAT IT IS TO HAVE A STORM MADE OF YOUR BIGGEST IRRATIONAL FEAR RATTLING IN YOUR BRAIN TO BE A STORM MADE OF YOUR BIGGEST IRRATIONAL FEAR TO BE A STORM SCREAMING THAT NO FEAR IS MORE RATIONAL THAN ANOTHER BUT FUCK IT
I WANNA MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT A REVERSE BLACK HOLE LIGHT IS SPEWED OUT OF ITĀ AND ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYTHING IS MAGIC IāLL CALL IT A MEMOIRĀ IN THIS MOVIE I MAKE MYSELF THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYONE ELSE IS THE CENTER TOO AND EVERYONE ELSE IS A MAIN CHARACTER TOO AND NO ONE BECOMES A VILLAIN WITHOUT TRYING TO AND WHEN YOU SWALLOW SOMEONE WHOLE YOU APOLOGIZEĀ EVEN IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENTĀ AND THERE ARE OTHER MOVIES WITHIN MY MOVIE ABOUT VERY LARGE SPIDERS FIGHTING ROBOT ALIENS AND THESE ARE NOT THE SAME AS TRANSFORMERS THEYāRE JUST NOT
AND IF ANYONE EVER TRIES TO TELL ME I CANāT MAKE THIS MOVIE I WILL STAND ON THE TOP OF THE TABLE WHERE WE ARE HAVING THIS MOVIE MAKING DELIBERATION AND I WILL SCREAM LOUDLY DIRECTLY AT THE VOICE OF THE OPPOSITIONĀ AND I WILL SAY IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING THERE IS A FRANCHISE OF MOVIES ABOUT TORNADOES WITH SHARKS INSIDE OF THEM.Ā DONāT TELL ME WHATāS IMPOSSIBLEĀ AND THEN I WILL CALMLY RETURN TO MY SEAT LIKE NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY JUST HAPPENED BECAUSE IT DIDNāTĀ BECAUSE IT DIDNāTĀ BECAUSE FUCK YOU BECAUSE THEREāS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO PRETEND THAT ANY OF THISĀ WAS ORDINARY TO BEGIN WITH
badattitude14: all I have to say to this is....... SHARKNADO 2 REVENGE OF THE SHARKS
Is this me?
Iām so beyond honored and excited that @nycwax is making me into a wax figure!! In October at their Times Square location you can come take selfies with wax me and grope da butt all you want. The grope zoo will officially be open š jk but seriously this is probably the coolest thing that has ever happened Iām just so completely floored by this and thank you so much @nycwax
Did you catch the #UnicornIsland flash mob at VidCon?! This is only the beginning. The countdown begins until my documentary teaser goes live tomorrow morning on my channel. Spread the word #TeamSuper! #AT2UI is going full force! Thank you xo #iisuperwomanii #LillySinghTour #unicornsunite
Umm why was I not invited to join in? I mean I am a unicorn! Seriously superwoman
So done with life
I'm tired, but it's 20 past 3
Summer goals 2k15.
And now I wish I was a dog... THE O2 ADVERT MAKES SENCE
I find this strange because it's Harry Potter and phineas and ferb in the same place
ROAR!!!
