A

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[badbitchesreads]

Omg happy 1111 Loz 🥹🥹

[badbitchesreads]

Kai young is soo underrated

[deannagrey]

Just Dare Me: Chapter 1

Here’s chapter one of what would have been the third book in the Westbrooke Angels series. The book’s release was cancelled but I figured I could still share some of what I managed to write. Please excuse any errors. This has never been beta read & only lightly edited. 

Westbrooke University’s starting tight end stood at my front door soaked from head to toe. His scowl welcomed me like I was the one who’d knocked on his door at nine PM. The annoyance radiating off from him contrasted with my calmness. Tonight, David Porter was my antonym.

“Did you do it?” I asked, even though his success was clear.

David scoffed, mouth parted and tongue poking into his cheek. He was trying to decide whether or not today was his last straw. Trying to decide if today was the day he let me win once and for all.

He raked his fingers through his hair, shoving the short brown strands off his forehead. The ever-present wrinkle in the space between his brows reminded me of a valley. I enjoyed how his dark eyes looked even more like pits of despair when he was the one on the edge of giving up.

I straightened with a small bit of hope. David wasn’t a quitter but he did have a low tolerance for…mostly everyone. I’m squarely in the bubble of mostly everyone. In fact, I might be smack dab in the center.

He held up a shiny dime. “Here’s your year 1915.”

I laughed and snatched it from his hands. “No way. How long did it take you?”

“Three hours,” he grumbled.

“You dived in a fountain for three hours. God, David.” I shook my head. “You’re something else.”

“No diving necessary. I used a net,” he said, matter of fact.

“Smart.” I nodded, appreciating the ingenuity– though I would have preferred the full dedication of him wading. But, I hadn’t set any rules for the original dare so that was on me.

I tilted my head to the side, considering. “Wait…So, why are you all wet?”

His jaw tightened. For a second, I didn’t think he’d tell me the actual reason.

“I…slipped,” David said through gritted teeth.

“Damn it! I knew I should have stayed with you.” I shook my head, mourning the missed opportunity. “God, I would have killed to see that. Professor Hoyle’s lecture on capitalism and consumerism could have waited.”

“Did you at least take notes for me?” He looked like he didn’t want to ask. I’ve never had a class with David, but this semester we had two. It felt like college’s last-ditch effort to get me to crack.

“You may copy my notes,” I permitted with a curt nod. “Now, if you excuse me. I have a hair appointment to make and a discussion board to finish.”

As soon as I tried to close the door, David held up his arm to stop it. “I need to shower.”

I snorted, looking him up and down. “Yes, you do. Who knows what filth’s in a college water fountain.”

“Now, Yara. Right. Now.”

“You’re not tracking water and muck all over our nice rugs,” I protested. “Ari just saged the place yesterday. I don’t believe in that kind of stuff but if it were real then you’d definitely be carrying around some bad mojo. I mean, coins in fountains are wishes, right? You just stole someone’s wish.”

“You were the one who instigated a stolen wish,” he threw back. “So, where does that leave you?”

I gave him a look. “If you’re trying to guilt trip me, you’re going to have to do better than that.”

“Yara,” David’s voice was at least two octaves lower. It reached a part of my body that had no business getting excited. “Don’t make me beg.”

My eyes widened. I almost said something teasing but the look in his eyes reminded me of why he’d thought of the net, to begin with. It was the same reason he’d panicked when his water bottles got mixed up with the other guys on his team during practice. And why he couldn’t stand hanging out with his messier friends for longer than a few hours. I could be a hardass but I wasn’t completely heartless.

“Okay.” I nodded, voice softening a little. “But you have to be quick. Covee and Ari are out. If they come back and see you, then I’m in for another sage and incense session. I don’t have time for that.”

“Deal,” he agreed, pushing past the threshold.

“Wait, wait,” I said, waving my hands for him to stop.

“Seriously?” He froze and took a sharp inhale. “Yara, you just–”

“You’re tracking water,” I said, quickly hurrying through the living room and into the bathroom. “Let me get towels and lay them out.”

David looked pissed but kept his commentary to himself. I laid the towels on the ground one after another. With each towel laid down, David stepped forward.

“Slow down, slow down,” I protested when he kept catching up to me.

“This is ridiculous,” he complained but stopped on one towel to give me a lead.

“Hey, I’m not the one who tripped.” I glanced up at him with a smug smile. His hands were on his waist. The stance makes his soaked t-shirt stretch across his chest…strain might be a better word. I could make out every curve of his muscles. In addition to being impressive on the football field, David was an avid runner. We’d bumped into one another quite often on the trails on campus. Those runs were doing wonders for his overall toning.

“Are we waiting for an alien invasion or the polar ice caps to stop melting?” he asked, snapping me back to the present.

“You joke but I think we’re closer to an alien invasion than not,” I teased. His scowl made me laugh.

Our towel bridge made it to the bathroom mat laid out in front of the shower. I smiled, satisfied at the outcome. David seemed even more pissed than before. Despite David winning his dare, I felt like the victor tonight. His frown was like catnip to me.

“You can use my soap in the caddy,” I instructed, pointing at my pink bottle. “It’s rose-scented.”

“Lucky me,” he mumbled and went to remove his shirt.

“Woah, woah.” I held one hand over my eyes and stretched out the other as a sort of defense against his stripping. He snorted at my reaction.

“Well, you’re taking so long to leave, I figured you wanted a peek,” he teased.

“You figured wrong, asshole.” I waved my hands, trying to feel my way out of the bathroom while keeping my eyes closed. David’s deep laugh hit my core. I slammed the door behind me only to have it open a few seconds later. He tossed a pile of clothes out.

“Excuse me?” I squealed when they fell close to my heel. “You some speed undresser?”

He ignored my question. “Wash those.”

“I take ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ like a normal human being.”

The door shut again. I waited for a moment. When the shower turned on and the rings of the curtain scraped the plastic rod, I let out a huff.

I’d have to wash his clothes or listen to him complain and put them in the washer himself. If the clothes didn’t get in the wash now, that meant I’d endure his presence for a little longer.

So, I took the L, complaining under my breath the whole time. Before picking up his clothes, I grabbed a pair of disposable gloves from the kitchen.

“Slipped or catapulted?” I mumbled with a creased brow as I carted the dripping pieces to our small laundry area. As per usual, Covee had her load still in the wash. I switched her clothes over and poured an insane amount of detergent into the machine. I smiled at the thought of David walking around with not just his skin but clothes smelling like me.

Someone could take it the wrong way…and you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

I frowned. No. Absolutely not. I was a lot of things but a fan of David wasn’t one of them. I’m not dense enough to deny the attraction. He was athletic with dark hair, eyes, and the kind of sultry look that would get him cast as a vampire in a Gothic romance. But there were so many sides to David I didn’t like. Looks only got people so far.

After turning on the washing machine, I went to my room. My desk was covered in textbooks, notepads, and my laptop. I’d dived into my homework, trying to get ahead so I’d have enough time to plan my campus organization events for this semester.

I was the president of The Black Women Development Circle. Our organization worked on connecting black women on campus, encouraging personal and professional growth through workshops, lectures, and parties. This semester would be my last before graduating. I wanted to be big. Needed it to be big to solidify my place in its history.

My mom had been a president when she was on campus. She’d not only got the role as a sophomore but singlehandedly put our chapter on the map with her incredible fundraising skills and her famous end-of-year balls. Over the years, the org fell off. Attendance to meetings was sparse. Getting girls to join in exchange for rushing was becoming more and more difficult. By the time I became president during my junior year, the club was dead. I’d done everything in my power to bring it back to life. Each semester it felt like I hit a wall…except my last meeting boosted the most interest from freshmen in years. And most of the girls wanted a spot on the executive board. This semester, I had a full roster and I was going to do everything humanly possible to put on this end-of-year ball or die trying.

“You always pick the same spot?” a deep voice asked.

I started and looked up to find the bare-chest David standing in my doorway. He wore one of my gray towels around his waist. From my perspective, it looked like it was tucked pretty loose. Talk about risky.

“What?” I cleared my throat and tried not to look as dazed and confused as I felt.

David gestured to the back of his head. “The hair at the nape of your neck. You were picking at it.”

“No, I wasn’t.” I shot out of my seat to go to the closet. “I might have an oversized shirt for you.”

“I’m fine.”

I frowned, still rummaging through my clothes. “You’re half-naked. No one’s fine half-naked in a stranger’s room.”

“Is that what we are? Strangers?” He was on the move now. Near my dresser where most of my books were displayed.

“Well, we’re not friends,” I countered, looking his way for some sort of clarification.

“No, not friends,” he agreed with a nod.

“Acquaintances, maybe?” I pulled out a black Daytona 500 tee. My folks were huge racing fans. I’d gone to more races than I could ever keep straight. Each one felt rowdier and hotter than the next but I always tagged along, not wanting to be the odd man out.

David didn’t accept the shirt when I held it in his direction. I wiggled it, doing everything outside of insisting he wore it because we had a good forty minutes to an hour until his clothes were ready. I don’t think I could wait that long. I’d started counting the freckles on his shoulders, for Christ’s sake. Seventeen on the right, eight on the left.

“Acquaintances doesn’t feel right either.” David gestured to my books. “Why organize alphabetically by the first name instead of the last name?”

“Because I like it that way.” I shrugged.

“And the color coding system? Your little circle stickers.”

I laughed, surprised he noticed such a small detail. “Purple’s my comfort reads, blue’s copies I’m willing to lend out, and reds are ones I love but will never read again.”

“Why keep it if you’re never going to read it again?” He looked genuinely perplexed.

“Sentimental value.” I tossed the shirt over his shoulder. “Of course.”

David snorted. “Didn’t take you as the sentimental type…that’s a little disappointing.”

“Didn’t take you as the questioning type,” I shot back, trying to hide the dip my heart made when he said, “disappointing.” Was he serious? I didn’t care, of course…But, still, was he serious?

“Just starting a conversation,” he said, simply. “My questions are arbitrary and meaningless like most.”

I scoffed. “We’re not having a conversation. You’re judging me while I wash your clothes, give you something warm to wear, and offer you a drink.”

He raised a brow. “Did I miss that last part?”

“It was coming up,” I said with a sigh. “I’m making coffee. You want one?”

“It’s a little late for caffeine, don’t you think?” Thankfully, David started pulling on the shirt. He looked funny with the towel on the bottom but unless he wanted to wear one of my dolphin shorts, that’d have to do.

When I smiled at the thought of him squeezing into my shorts, he frowned at me.

“Why are you looking like that?” he asked, suspicion in every word.

I shook my head. “No reason. Was that a no on the coffee?”

David didn’t believe my lie for a second but said, “I’ll take some water.”

“Coming up.” I went to the door, pausing before I left to say, “Don’t touch anything. If you do, I’ll know.”

He raised a brow, impressed. Maybe I’d made up for my “disappointing sentimentalism.” “You calling me a thief, Yara?”

“The dime could have been a gateway.” I shrugged. “Who knows?”

“I don’t keep around stuff I don’t want. Your sentimental clutter is safe with me.” He drew an X over his chest.

My smile fell. His dark eyes sparkled as he waved at me. I left, reminding myself I was too big of a person to pick another petty fight. By the time I got back, David was lying on my bed with a blanket underneath him and a few pillows propping him up. He rested on his elbow and flipped through one of my sketchbooks that’d been on the bookshelf.

“Um, excuse me?” I snatched the sketchbook from him. My heart hammered at the thought of anyone – especially David – judging my random doodles. I was no artist. I was downright terrible. But on my worse days, I put pencil to paper because it was stress relieving.

“I said don’t touch,” I reminded him as I pinned the book against my chest.

“That’s yours?” He sat up a little straighter and doing so made his towel loosen. I swallowed at the sight. Anger mixed with curiosity was uncomfortable. It felt as if I swallowed ice and it was currently melting on my chest. David’s brows were raised as he studied how tightly I clung to my secret relaxation tool.

“None of your business. Now, here.” I shoved a glass of water in his direction. He took it, barely mumbling a ‘thank you.’

His lack of guilt from invading my privacy made me roll my eyes. I tossed a blanket over his legs before slipping my sketchbook into a drawer and sitting back down at my desk.

He chuckled, readjusting the blanket on his lap. “What was that for?”

“Your thighs were showing. No one wants to see that,” I said, even though at least ninety percent of the student population who were attracted to men would have loved to see that.

“You sure? Because you seemed pretty into the sight.”

Before I could answer, my phone buzzed. I glanced at it and winced when I saw the caller ID.

“What?” David asked, sitting up a bit.

“Nothing.” I sent the call to voicemail and opened a fresh Google doc on my laptop. The phone started buzzing again, and I ignored it this time.

“You need to get that?” David stared at me.

“No…maybe.” I took a breath.

“Well, don’t let my presence stop you.”

“Maybe you could go into the living room?”

“Sure. And greet Covee and Ari in a towel.” He nodded. I could see the wheels turning in his head. “What should I tell them happened?”

My expression darkened. “The truth.”

He tsked and looked up at the ceiling to think. “That’s no fun.”

“They’d never believe anything else,” I said, even though that might not be the case.

I’d been in this dare battle with David since the beginning of this school year. And my friends were getting more curious about it with each day that went by. I didn’t blame them. If one of my friends swore they hated a guy but then, spent copious amounts of time with him when they didn’t have to, I’d be a little curious, too. But my dare battle with David was about principle. Something which Covee and Ari didn’t understand. And I wasn’t the best at explaining it just yet.

“Promise you’ll be quiet,” I said when my phone buzzed with a few “worried” texts.

“I don’t like to make promises, Yara. I’ve accepted a long time ago that I’m unfortunately human and thus, will most likely break them.”

“David, come on. You’ve got to work with me. You owe me that much,” I insisted when I grabbed my phone. I needed to take this call or else, I’d never hear the end of it.

“Fine. I promise I’ll only speak if necessary.” His grin didn’t sit well with me. “In case of fire or flood.”

“I think I’d smell a fire or see a flood coming.”

He shrugged. “You never know.”

“But you do know…” I let out an exasperated sigh when my phone vibrated again. “Fine. But, I swear to God I’ll rip you a new one if you make the smallest noise. Swallow your sneezes and coughs. Sip your water, no big gulps, and scroll on your phone in silence.”

David nodded, mischief in his grin. “Yes, ma'am.”

I gave him one final look before picking up the call. “Everything okay?”

“God, does it really take all this to get a hold of you?” Logan asked.

“Sorry, I was caught up in something.” My voice habitually changed to something far more unassuming and meek than my natural tone. I could feel David’s gaze land on me. My cheeks burned. I turned in my seat so I faced the window.

God, I should have said the hell with whatever misunderstanding that would have happened with Covee and Ari. Because David hearing me in this state could potentially be ten times worse.

“Mom wanted to make sure you knew there’s still a no casual policy for lunch,” my sister said. “Why she needs me to relay the information and not Janelle – who’s actually in your time zone – I don’t know.”

“I got it,” I assured. Non-casual had been a rule in place since the beginning of time in our family. Along with several others relating to appearance.

“I do know why she didn’t ask Janelle. It’s the same reason she doesn’t ask Sonya anymore,” Logan continued. This was what she’d actually wanted to talk about.

“Why?” I took the bait like I usually did. Being the youngest Every girl meant being the lending ear for every issue.

“Mom thinks she’s so busy now that she’s a live-in girlfriend to an executive producer. I have shit to do, too. With or without a relationship.”

“Yeah, I feel you,” I said, trying my best not to state the obvious. No matter the time or day, my sisters called me with orders, complaints, and rants. Having an exam in the morning or a paper due was never important enough in comparison with their adult lives. I endured because what else could I do? They were family and before coming to Westbrooke, the only people I had to talk to…I wasn’t exactly a popular kid growing up. Having no friends meant I had to take what I was given.

“I’m on the partner track for the love of God,” Logan continued. I could hear her stomping upstairs. Her swanky Cali apartment was a dream she often made out to be a nightmare.

“She should respect your time,” I agreed and looked at my clock to see my hair appointment was approaching fast. If I wanted to bang out my homework, I needed to focus now.

“Right? But she won’t ever until I have everything…” Logan’s pause made my stomach turn. She never left room for me to speak unless something was up.

“What’s wrong?” I ran through the list of possible family problems ranging from accidental pregnancies with married men to dire health concerns.

“It’s Rose”

My forehead wrinkled at the mention of our sister. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Yeah…so, I’m not supposed to tell you this. Mom wanted to break it to you at lunch.”

My hand went to the back of my head immediately. I picked at a few strands of hair, waiting for Logan to continue. The springs on my bed creaked. I’d nearly forgotten about David’s presence until his hand nudged my wrist. I yanked my fingers away from my hair, embarrassed at being caught. I frowned up at him, upset about being torn away from my conversation.

“Do you think my clothes are done?” he asked at a normal volume. I muted myself, but not fast enough. Logan quickly asked who else was there.

“I don’t know, asshole. Check.” I waved my hand toward the door but he didn’t move an inch.

“Oh, my god…” Logan sounded scandalized. “Is that a guy?”

I unmuted and quickly confirmed. “It’s no one.”

David snorted – once again loud enough for her to hear – and I swear to God I was about to catch a charge after this call.

“Um…I think maybe I should leave you to it,” Logan said.

“No,” I said, quickly. “You were going to say something else.”

I needed to stall her for information and also to make sure she didn’t go back to spreading gossip to the rest of our family. By Monday, even my grandma would know I had a guy in my dorm after hours. That shouldn’t feel as embarrassing as it did.

“You’ll know soon enough,” Logan promised. I could hear her knowing smile. As soon as she hung up, I turned to David and promised,

“You’re dead.”

He gave me a warm grin. “You can thank me later.”

“Excuse me?”

“You wanted off of that call but were too afraid to speak up for yourself,” he said and paused to consider it. “Which, is weird for you.”

I frowned. “You don’t know me. Let alone what’s weird for me.”

David shook his head and leaned closer. My breath caught in my chest. How did he smell so much like himself after being engulfed by my scent?

“I disagree. I think we both know one another better than most people in our lives,” he said, voice almost too low for me to hear. “I’m going to find a word for us. Not strangers, acquaintances, or friends. There’s something more and I’m going to find it.”

His promise rang in my ears and his smile faded. The words weren’t warm but not entirely cold either. David looked at me like I was some mystery. I stared back, just as desperate to solve our puzzle.

[deannagrey]

Team Players: Chapter 33

Two Months Later

Despite the air being cold, I tugged off my tie and unbuttoned the top of my shirt. Henrik was still inside for his interview—which was taking just as long as mine did.

It’d been a difficult couple of months. Going to the Dean was as hard as I thought it’d be. And everything that followed was equally grueling.

The department took sides. And the guys who worked with Stoll felt betrayed by me and Jack. Which, of course, was their right. I didn’t blame them one bit because, like Jack said, there was nothing black and white about this situation.

As I waited for my friend, I kept scrolling through my text thread with Aderyn. Once I read every message by scrolling up, I read them in chronological order, scrolling down. We hadn’t spoken in person since that day she gave me the papers. I made sure to give her space even though there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think of her.

I usually had to stop myself from texting her about something I knew she’d find funny or interesting. After the day in our driveway, I only messaged her once to check in. She responded with a simple, ‘fine’ and I knew to leave it at that.

My feet often carried me to our meeting spot outside the gym and I wouldn’t know what I was doing until I was halfway there. I hung out at Harry’s long enough for one of the managers to ask me if I wanted to fill out a job application. And on one of my bad days, I found myself reaching for her after a nap, and my chest felt hollowed out at realizing she wasn’t there. She might never be there again.

“Hey,” Henrik greeted, coming down the stairs of the front office.

I straightened and pushed away the sadness that’d snuck up on me. This would get easier, I just had to give it time. I’d never been this down and out about a girl. I hated this new territory.

“How did it go?” I asked and fell into step with him.

The campus was covered in a light coat of snow. Holidays were over but the sidewalk traffic wasn’t as dense as it was at the beginning of the semester. Henrik and I made our way toward the student center to grab a late lunch.

“Tried to coherently respond to questions I didn’t know the answer to,” Henrik said as he readjusted his tie. He always looked the most comfortable when he was dressed up. “They asked if I knew who gave you the printouts.”

I scoffed. “Of course. What did you say?”

“That it was anonymous like we agreed.”

“Thanks.” Before going to the Dean, we all had to decide on what we wanted to share and keep quiet. Bringing Aderyn into the conversation didn’t seem necessary and didn’t feel right. Her family was already going through drama with the investigation. If they found out she helped, then that made this process all the more difficult for them. I wanted her to have the option of whether to tell her folks or not.

“And of course, they’ve stressed that we’re done for the season,” he shared. “With their continued apologies on the whole matter.”

I let out a dry laugh. “I know suspension of the season was to be expected but I can’t help and feel this is a wildly broken system.”

“You don’t say?” Henrik said, sarcastically. He opened the door to the student center.

“I do,” I joked, following him inside.

It was warm in here and more crowded than outside. Henrik offered to get in line for the food while I tried to find us an empty table. Almost everything was taken. I nearly gave up before finding two empty seats at a half-full table.

“Hey, do you mind if I…?” I stopped when I recognized Kaya and Mary.

Surprisingly, Kaya didn’t scowl when she laid eyes on me. She didn’t smile either, but the neutral expression felt like progress. Mary greeted me with her usual perky wave.

“Hey, Sam. Long time no see.” Mary moved her bag, so it wasn’t hanging off the back of the empty chair. “You should join us.”

“Thanks, but I don’t know—”

“Ryn’s not on campus today,” Kaya said, point-blank.

I laughed, trying to cover up my disappointment. I wanted to see her. Just a glimpse would be enough. Or, it would have to be enough.

“How have you guys been?” I claimed the seat next to Mary because she was the least likely to bite my head off.

“Alright considering well… everything.” Mary waved her hand because I knew. “Our season’s shot, too.”

“I heard.” I felt awful about it. They’d worked hard to get where they needed to this semester. All that momentum went to waste.

“We’ll be better next year, though.” Mary sounded sure and winked at her friend. “Our team will be stronger for it. You guys will, too.”

“Right,” I agreed even though it didn’t feel like it. I’d come to Mendell because I thought we’d win championships. And now, with senior year approaching, we hadn’t won one.

I caught Henrik scanning the room in my peripheral and waved him over. His eyes widened a bit with surprise at my choice of seating. But by the time he got close enough, the shock was wiped from his expression.

“Hen!” Mary greeted when he was close enough.

“Mary, it’s good to see you.” He smiled at her and set down my food in front of me. “Kaya, you too.”

Kaya gave him as warm of a welcome as I got.

“You guys should come to Zeus tonight,” Mary suggested. “A ton of us are going to celebrate the end of the season.”

“I don’t know if celebrate is the right word,” Kaya mumbled.

“Well, I’m not going to say mourn. I don’t think we should get too sad about it,” Mary argued. “I think what’s happening was meant to happen, you know? It’s the universe shoving us all in the right direction. Who knows what would’ve happened if Mendell made it to the playoffs? Maybe one of us would’ve gotten injured on the ice. Or our bus would’ve crashed when going to a game?”

Henrik nodded as he started putting dressing on his salad. “I like that outlook. Makes the burn of it all sting less.”

“Or maybe now that we’re sitting on our asses and not practicing at the arena, we’ll get caught in a campus building fire or get hit by one of those go-carts the maintenance guys whip around in,” Kaya argued.

“And the burn is back,” I teased.

Mary and Kaya exchanged glares, but I could tell from the slowly creeping smile on both of their faces they weren’t actually upset.

“We are celebrating.” Mary drummed her hands on the table. “Both teams at Zeus tonight.”

“We’ll be there,” I said. My guys needed a morale boost. Everything—understandably—had been doom and gloom since the suspension. A night getting drunk with no need to be up for a five o’clock workout sounded perfect. We could pretend we were average college students for once.

“Ryn will be there,” Kaya warned. She met my gaze, studying my response like she would report back any red flags.

I forced myself to give her a calm smile even though my stomach started doing backflips. “Great.”

Kaya raised a brow. “Great? That’s all you got?”

Henrik tried to hide his chuckle by taking a bite of food. Mary gave Kaya an actual glare this time.

“Wonderful,” I tried. “It’ll be good to see her.”

Kaya didn’t look impressed but still let me off the hook with a simple, “I bet.”

***

Zeus was a popular club that sat on the edge of town. The two-story black building had a rooftop pool and boasted to attract some C-list celebrities now and then. It was an eighteen-plus club, so most of us had to get our hands stamped if we forgot our fake IDs. Lincoln already had his twenty-first, so he pretended to need distance from us once we got inside.

“Want me to sneak you some shots?” he teased.

“I’m good for tonight.” I waved him away, already anxious about seeing Aderyn.

The girls had texted us a few minutes ago saying they were already in the building. I spotted Jas and Mary on the dance floor. A few others were mingling with older guys. Aderyn was nowhere to be seen.

Old me wouldn’t have cared about finding her. I would have taken Lincoln up on his offer and then, tried to flirt with one of the many beautiful women in the room. Now, no one was appealing. I wanted her husky voice, her rolling eyes, and her mocking smile.

I pushed my way through the throng of people, deciding to check the second floor. There were even more people up here but still no Aderyn. Without her, I didn’t think I’d stick around for long. I moved to the balcony’s edge and placed my hands on the steel railing.

Get it together, Sam.

She was just one girl. One human in this sea of people.

Yet, I couldn’t get rid of her. I didn’t want to. Aderyn was in every corner of my mind. Everywhere I turned I had this silly hope bubbling in my chest that she’d be around the next corner. I missed her filling up space with her laugh. Missed seeing her eyes sparkle when she was determined for something to go her way. And her commentary on things I’ve never given thought to. She saw so much I overlooked.

I tilted my head up to the sky, breathing the cold air in deeply. I appreciated the burning in my lungs. Finally, I was in pain from something other than her. As I took deep breaths, I heard a familiar laugh in the distance.

Stop it, I willed my brain.

I heard the laugh again. This time it was clearer and closer. My mind played a lot of tricks in the past few months but could never replicate Aderyn’s pitch. I turned around to see her and Jack a few feet away. Thankfully, they were far enough so I could wipe away my painful expression in a heartbeat. I blew out a breath, half to calm my nerves, half because of how in awe I was at the sight of her.

Aderyn’s smile came easy and so did her amusement with whatever Jack was saying. I couldn’t take my eyes off her in fear I’d miss the subtle tilt of her neck when she laughed. Or when she bit down on her lip to let the other person talk before getting her two cents in. Man, I even missed being interrupted by her.

Jack was the first one to see me and he said something that made Aderyn look over. I expected her to hang back when he started over to me, but she followed him. My hands began to shake so I hid them in my jacket pockets.

“How’s it going?” Jack asked. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. When he came forward about being a part of the gambling scheme, he got a warning that his probation would be longer than the team’s. It could even raise to a longer suspension that kept him out all next year. It took courage for him to do what he did.

I was the first person he went to after hearing the news. Devastation didn’t begin to describe what he was feeling. We’d talked it out and he was more open with me than ever. I’d never considered Jack a best friend, but we were closer now. We understood each other more which was why I didn’t think he was trying to rub his obvious relationship with Aderyn in my face. Despite that, I still felt a twinge of jealousy with how close they were standing.

“Alright.” I nodded, trying not to stare at Aderyn. “Crowded night.”

“This place is always pretty packed,” Jack said. “Want to help settle a bet?”

I raised a brow and couldn’t avoid Aderyn’s gaze any longer. She met my eyes too. There was a small smile on her lips. Before coming over here, she’d been laughing. Now, she looked like she was fighting off a wince.

It was the hardest thing to go from sleeping next to someone to feeling like a stranger. I knew how sensitive her skin was behind her ear. How to make her moan so much that she buried her face into my neck to keep quiet. How to get her to beg me for more. And now, she stood opposite me and couldn’t look at me for any longer than a few seconds.

“Depends on the bet,” I said, awkwardly.

“Girls versus guys,” Jack said. “On the ice.”

I raised a brow, intrigued. “When?”

“Now,” Aderyn spoke up, and to be expected, her voice sent a wave of longing through my body. “We figured since we’re done for the season and won’t see who’s an actual champion in the league, we’ll have to go against one another flat out. That’ll show us.”

“You want to play a full game tonight?” I asked, amused. “How are you planning to get access to the arena?”

Aderyn scoffed, throwing me that knowing look. I’d fantasized about that look daily. I was a wreck. How did she do this to me in a few months? It killed me that she was so unaffected.

“We don’t need an arena. We’ll find a lake. Play like most of us used to as kids. I figured we all could use a reminder of where we came from and why we love playing. It’s not just for the audiences,” she explained.

I smiled at what she said, and she returned it. For a moment, it was just us and I saw her. Saw that she was starting to become who she wanted to be.

“I’m in,” I said, voice low because it still felt like only both of us were in the room. Aderyn raised a brow, possibly hearing more meaning in the words. On the other hand, Jack was completely unaware.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll round up whoever I can find.” He squeezed Aderyn’s shoulder before leaving. I tried not to feel some type of way about how his hand lingered.

Aderyn and I watched him disappear into the crowd. I shifted my weight from one foot to another as she took a slow, steady drink from her cup.

“I heard your team finally finished interviews,” she said, meeting my eyes. Her voice sounded so formal.

I hated how stiff my neck felt when I nodded. “Earlier today.”

“Good.”

“How have you been since…everything?”

She gave me a one-shoulder shrug. Someone accidentally bumped into her, sending her closer to me. I grabbed her elbow to make sure she was steady. For a moment, we were a breath apart. Her lips parted like she was ready to say something. I tried to get words off my tongue but nothing came out.

I should have let her go. She’d found her balance again. My hand remained wrapped around her, though. Despite her thick layer of clothes, I could feel her warmth. At some point, I started to lean. My nose almost touched hers when she cleared her throat and pulled away.

I brushed my hand over my lips, trying my best to not look like my chest didn’t feel like it’d caved in.

“Sam—” she started.

“I should go grab my car,” I interrupted. I couldn’t hear another rejection right now. She’d done what was best for her and I couldn’t have been more proud. Now, I had to do what was best for me.

“I’m the designated driver,” I explained.

Her eyes widened. “Really? Samson Morgan’s not drinking and flirting his way through the bar?”

I shook my head, trying my best to smile at the well-meaning teasing.

“New leaf,” I said. “Next chapter.”

She made an impressed noise.

“See you at the lake.” I turned to make my great escape.

“Don’t hold back,” she called before I got too far.

I froze.

“Don’t hold back, Morgan,” she repeated herself, assuming I didn’t hear her the first time.

“We’ve been meaning to figure out who’s really the best,” she teased. I turned around just in time to see her smile. “I don’t want you guys saying you held back. Give us your all and once we win, I expect no sore losers. One last round to prove ourselves.”

There was the snark in her voice that I loved. The daring quirk of her brow. The perfectly wonderful smile that revealed her perfectly wonderful crooked canine tooth.

“You got it.” Before I knew what I was doing I was back in front of her. Aderyn’s brows raised when I didn’t leave much space between us.

“Could I…” I raised my hands, hovering before getting permission to cup her face. “Just one last time?”

She nodded numbly. Her dark eyes were full of surprise. “Okay.”

I kissed her. At first, her mouth remained frozen on mine. Before I could panic about this being a mistake and pull away, she began to relax into my body. I parted her lips, wanting to memorize her taste.

The kiss lasted longer than I’d planned. I got wrapped up in the feeling of her. Touching her soothed my pain. Aderyn’s hands on my chest made me wish with every part of my being that she’d pull me close like she did when we kissed before. But there was no tugging or moaning for more. As soon as I pulled back, that was it. It was over. This felt like more of an ending than when she left me in the driveway. Because when I finally pulled away and let go of her, she didn’t say a thing. She didn’t reach for me when I turned to leave.

I walked away. There was nothing to say on either end. Nothing more to do for one another.

All we had left was a game to win. And teams to lead.

[deannagrey]

Sunny Disposition: Deleted Scene

In the first draft, there was more back and forth between Finn and Naomi after he finally confessed to being her mod. They had a little fight but eventually made up and talked through the night which resulted in the accidental sleep over you’ll see below. This scene also mentions Picard who was Finn’s dog before I cut him from the story (which I kinda regret tbh because the dog’s interactions with Finn was pretty cute lol)

I’d been dreading this day all year, so I never expected I wake up with a smile.

Finn’s arms were still around me from when we first drifted off to sleep. His head rested in the crook of my neck. My arm was numb under his weight. I hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

“Morning,” he murmured when I tried to slightly adjust myself without disturbing him.

“Morning,” I whispered back. “Did I wake you?”

Finn pulled away, flipping onto his back as he said, “No. I’ve been up for a few minutes.”

And he’d still been cuddling me? I covered my smile with the back of my hand, not wanting him to get too self-conscious over the matter.

Finn ran his fingers through his hair. His thick, dark locks stood wild in each direction. I propped myself up on my elbow to watch.

He looked up at me. “What?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “I just never thought I’d be in your bed.”

When I wiggled my brows, Finn chuckled. He reached for my hand and I froze under his warm touch. He pressed the back of it to his lips.

“You’re not in my bed,” he said between kisses. I gulped at how deep his voice sounded when it was muffled.

“Then what is this?” I whispered, gesturing to the tangled bedsheets.

“Well…my bed.” His cheeks burned when I laughed. “But you made it sound like we did something… eventful.”

I touched my chest, exaggerating my tone as I said, “You don’t think having a heart-to-heart eventful? Bore my soul to you, Finn Howard.”

“No, no, of course.” Finn pushed himself up on his elbow too. He looked so saddened by my pretend hurt feelings that I decided to give up the ruse in an instant.

“It was a joke,” I promised. “A bad one, I guess. I think we’re going to have to work together on finding a middle ground of humor. Something that doesn’t leave you panicked with the fear you’ve offended me.“

“I wasn’t panicked,” Finn said even though the tension in his jaw visibly relaxed.

I laughed. “If you say so.”

“What are you doing today?” Finn still held onto my hand, holding it close to his chest now.

I studied how my fingers entwined with his. Like long legs, we had long fingers. We could line our hands perfectly. It was a tiny detail that sent butterflies through my stomach. I loved that we were the same size. Loved that I still felt safe in his arms while also keeping him safe in mine.

“Today is my mom’s birthday,” I murmured. “I usually go visit her.”

Finn’s expression softened. “I see…You haven’t brought her up in a while.”

I took a breath. It was going to take a minute for me to get used to the fact that Finn was MidQuest. He knew more of my secrets than anyone who walked the planet. When he looked at me, I felt like I might as well be naked. He’d seen so much of me and I was just now getting used to being next to him in the flesh.

Finn’s confession, still fresh in my brain, now felt so much more real. Some part of me wished it was him because if it hadn’t been, I would have had to choose between the two.

“I would like to go with you,” he said. “If you feel like having company, that is.”

“You’d voluntarily go to a cemetery?”

His fingers squeezed mine. “For you. Yes.”

“I might be emotional,” I warned.

“That’s fine.”

“This is kind of heavy. Especially this early in our…” Our what? Relationship? Friendship?

“I don’t care,” he said. “I like being around you, no matter the day.”

My heart swelled. I couldn’t say anything more than, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” He shook his head. “Just tell me what time you need me to be ready.”

I wanted to wait until the sun got higher in the sky. The weather felt nasty cold as of late, so I’d wait for the maximum level of warmth.

We spent the majority of time waiting in his room with Picard. Finn left only once to get breakfast. When he did, I hurried to the bathroom to splash water on my face and gargle mouthwash.

My complexion looked warmer than usual. I pressed my hands to my cheeks, taking in the sight of me in Finn’s oversized t-shirt. It fit me nicely. I turned around, admiring how round my butt looked in his clothes, and then, felt a little sheepish for wondering if he thought the same.

The fantasy of us being together wasn’t so much of a fantasy anymore. A small part of me urged myself to not get too excited. He’d left me once, so I had to stay prepared in case that happened again.

That wasn’t entirely his fault, though, I willed myself to believe.

Finn’s accident and his memory changed things. I wanted to be there for him just like he seemed determined to support me. Hope burrowed in my chest, making my cheeks burn. I would let myself enjoy it. Even for a moment. A day. Because this feeling was comforting. I wasn’t alone anymore.

By the time I made it out of the bathroom, the house was coming back to life. I heard something sizzling in the frying pan downstairs and soft voices conversating in the kitchen. Henrik almost bumped into me in the hallway when he slipped out of his room.

“Sorry.” He smiled and pulled out one of his earbuds. His black hair was covered with a beanie. He wore a black athletic turtleneck and baggy sweats. He respectfully kept his eyes locked on mine as he said, “Good morning.”

“Morning.” I smiled, trying to not look like I was embarrassed about being pant-less.

“All good?” he asked, though his smile told me he knew the answer.

“Yeah, you?”

“Can’t complain.” He winked and started down the hall. “Take care of our boy. He’s hard on the outside but all soft mush on the inside.”

[deannagrey]

Scene where Sam tells the boys he’s leaving

Note: I wrote this scene as a look at how the guys would have differing reactions to Sam’s decision to leave. It didn’t make the cut because I felt like the book was getting too lengthy and their reactions could be further explored in other books. 

I pulled up to our house. Everything looked clearer after talking to Aderyn and this clarity was warm. Bittersweet. I passed by Finn’s van on the way to the front door, taking a quick peek at the wayward sweatshirts, forgotten earbuds, and old hockey equipment in the back seat. All of us often left things in the van, knowing that we’d come back eventually. It was our version of a scrapbook. I’d have to take my things out before leaving. I definitely wasn’t looking forward to doing that. But it was going to happen. It needed to happen because I needed to grow. I needed a chance to figure out who I was when I took chances and didn’t know what the outcome was going to be. I needed to completely shed old Sam for the new version. The hopefully stronger version. 

The guys were in the living room, sitting around the coffee table with the game Clue laid out in front of them. The sound of my shoes on the hardwood was enough to capture their attention 

“How did it go?” Henrik asked. They all looked at me, eyes wide with curiosity, ready to lend me a shoulder if needed. 

I nodded, smiling at the thought of Aderyn. “G-good. Better than good. Amazing." 

Lincoln raised his arms and smiled wide with pure happiness for me. As he cheered, Henrik and even Finn laughed at his excessive show of support. 

"I thought you were going to have bad news,” Lincoln noted, eyes dancing with satisfaction. “You’re still stammering a bit. But, thank God, I’m wrong." 

I tried not to let my smile fade. All in all, this was good news. 

"Right…well, there’s something else.” I cleared my throat. “So, next year, I’m not going to be needing my room.”

Finn’s brow knitted but he kept his questions to himself. His gaze ducked down as he focused on his hands. He could sense this was going somewhere he wasn’t necessarily going to like. 

Henrik gave me a small nod. He knew what I was going to say. And the firm line his mouth made clued me into how he wouldn’t give protest. His rapid blinking told me he wanted to but whatever argument he cooked up would stay in the back of his mind out of respect for my decision. 

On the other hand, Lincoln had no clue where I was going. We were on one side of the field and he was on the other. 

“You don’t want to live here anymore?” Lincoln asked. “It’s a fixer-upper sure, but we have our fixer." 

Finn grunted when Lincoln gestured in his direction. 

"No, it’s not that–” I tried. 

“Fine, we can look for other options.” He sighed like he’d given plenty of thought to the matter. “But, finding a place better and this close to campus is going to be tough – if not impossible. And moving costs are wild. We were lucky this place came furnished. I do have some savings and that couch we saw at Ikea is within budget if everyone pitches in two hundred." 

"Link–” I tried with a smile. His interruptions were annoying but hell, I was going to miss them. Going to miss everything about this guy who was wholeheartedly ready and committed to doing anything and everything in life together. 

“Naomi and Finn should get the master this time because they need the space,” Lincoln said. “No offense but Aderyn’s not exactly moving in this early…or is she?”

“Lincoln,” Henrik’s tone was harder than mine. “Shut up. Just for a second. He’s not done and you’re not making this any easier to swallow." 

Lincoln’s forehead wrinkled but he followed the order. 

"I’m not going to need my room because I’m not coming back to Mendell next year,” I said. 

“That’s a shitty thing to joke about,” Lincoln teased. When I didn’t refute my statement his smile faded. 

“Are you…” Lincoln looked at the other guys for support. “Wait, seriously? This is happening again? First Finn’s moderating for a streaming star. Naomi’s said star. And now, Sam’s leaving. Another thing I didn’t know about?”

“What do you mean you didn’t know?” Henrik asked. “You drove him to Aderyn. You had to deduce something might change, Sherlock.”

“To stop her. I deduced that he was going to stop her, Waston,” Lincoln insisted. “I drove him because I thought the plan was to stop her. To convince her to stay or convince her to have a long-distance relationship. Not leave…us." 

"Lincoln,” I tried to soften my tone because I could see the genuine hurt in his eyes. “I’m only going a few hours away." 

"That’s a lot, Sam. That’s a lot and you know it and this is bullshit,” Lincoln argued. There wasn’t fire in his voice. He wasn’t necessarily upset with me. He was sad and ready to mourn what would be the first time we all were in different places since becoming friends. 

“I think this is going to be good for me,” I told him. “Healthy for me to try something new. To be in a place where I don’t know everyone and they don’t know me." 

To be with Aderyn, someone who didn’t necessarily need me but chose me. Wanted me. Someone I could build something with that stood far longer than a college career. 

"So, spend a few months at a boot camp if you don’t want people to know you. If you want a new challenge,” Lincoln suggested. “Not transfer to a different program." 

"Bootcamp isn’t the same as starting a life somewhere new,” I told him. 

“It was going to happen eventually, Link. We all have to split up eventually to figure out our own path, so why not start now,” Henrik said in a gentle tone. It sounded like he was trying to be empathetic to Lincoln’s stance. He was going to have to learn how to be more understanding of Lincoln’s passionate bursts of emotion. Especially since he’d be in charge next year. 

Lincoln huffed, unconvinced and desperate to have someone on his side. “Finn, are you going to say anything? Give us a clue to what you think about this?" 

Finn remained quiet for a few more seconds, taking his time to gather his thoughts. "Sam sounds happy. And he’s right, it could be healthy for him to move on. Move forward somewhere else. Move forward with someone he can see a future with. If he’s happy, I’m happy. That’s all I’m thinking…I’m happy. Sad to lose him but glad he’s doing what he wants.”

I smiled. His answer was far more heartfelt than I would have expected. 

Lincoln groaned, slouching. “I’m happy too, of course, I’m happy.”

“You don’t sound very happy to me,” Henrik mumbled. 

“I’m ecstatic,” Lincoln insisted, voice flat. “All I would like is for Sam to consider that he has more options. We invented cars for a reason. Number one on that list is to drive a few states over to see your girl.”

“Eh,” I interjected. “I don’t know about number one.”

“Yeah, that feels more like a number five thing,” Henrik agreed. 

“Five or five thousand,” Lincoln said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Whatever the number, it’s on the list. My point is, I thought maybe your friends might be higher.”

“I don’t think his decision says anything about how he feels about us,” Finn noted. 

“Agreed,” Henrik said. 

“Maybe not, but it feels like it.” Lincoln shook his head still in disbelief. 

I chewed on my lip, trying not to laugh at his stubborn insistence. “I love you, too, Link. I love all of you guys." 

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Save your attempts at ending toxic masculinity for someone who cares." 

"You care.” I moved closer to shove his shoulder. “And I care. We all care and that’s why this is going to be hard but not impossible." 

Lincoln huffed but at least untangled his crossed arms. 

"I know you guys got this,” I said as I joined them on the floor. “You guys are going to kill next season. You have the talent and the drive. Now, with Stoll out of the way, you have the support. We laid down a foundation, I cleared the way and now, you guys are going to finish this for me.”

“You’re still playing, though, right?” Finn asked. 

I nodded. “Hell yeah. I’d never quit. Just refocusing. I’ll play for Westbrooke.”

“Good.” Finn nodded. My answer seemed to make his shoulders relax. 

“So, we’re just going to kick your ass,” Lincoln concluded. “You know what…fine, I’ll take that as payment for the heartbreak you’ve caused all of us. That should cover half damages.”

I laughed. “That so?”

Lincoln nodded. “And that other half is you telling us everything we need to do to win this goddamn championship. We need one." 

Henrik nodded in agreement and scooted closer to the table. "With Stoll out of the way, we can actually play without fear of people being benched or suspended out of the blue. Except for you, we have all our seniors coming back. Plus, some killer rookies.”

I took a deep breath, pushing away the sadness of not playing with them and replacing it with the excitement of planning for their final season. 

“Jack’s going to be a big asset,” I said. “His suspension is long but he’ll be back on the ice before playoffs. Finn, Jack, and Hen are the best wing players in the league. You have strong first and second lines.”

“We’re losing the best center, though,” Henrik noted. 

I smiled but nodded. “You are but that rookie from Bellamy High is Mendell or bust. He’s almost as impressive as me" 

"Right.” Henrik nodded and rubbed the back of his neck as he thought. I could see him moving players around in his mind. Working out plays and matching up the guys who could best execute them.

“Link,” I said, leaving Henrik to his thoughts for now. “You’re going to commit one thousand percent next year. I mean it.”

“I always commit,” Lincoln pressed his hand on his chest like he was offended. 

I gave him a look. “Seriously.”

“What?” he asked, squirming a bit in his seat. “I do." 

"Don’t fuck around. Give it your all.”

He sobered a bit and nodded. “I will.”

“Swear it,” I dared with a little nudge of my chin. “Swear it on Darcy’s grave.”

“Who’s Darcy?” Finn asked in a low voice.

“Link’s hamster who he trained to count,” Henrik explained. “And be a semi-decent acrobat." 

"Trained to…” Finn shook his head. “You guys get weirder and weirder the more I learn about you." 

I laughed and then looked back at Lincoln. "Swear it." 

He scoffed. "What are we, twelve?" 

"Chicken,” I taunted. 

“Oh, well damn. That’s the breaking point. Can’t be seen as a chicken,” Lincoln said sarcastically. 

“You do seem a bit scared,” Finn joined in. 

“My God, fine.” Lincoln held up his hands. “I swear on my beloved Darcy’s grave. I will be the best damn goalie you guys have ever seen. And I will be the reason we win the championship.”

“That’s a lot of promises.” Henrik raised a brow. “You could just stick to trying." 

"No, I’m calling it. I’ll be the reason,” Lincoln promised with a determined nod. “Mark my words." 

"Marked,” I teased. 

“Well, there we have it.” Henrik nodded. “We’re going to have a season people won’t forget…Training starts tomorrow morning. I’ll text the rest of the team.”

Lincoln and Finn’s eyes widened. 

“Excuse me?” Lincoln asked. “We’re on break." 

"Which is why I expect you guys to be at the rink bright and early,” Henrik said. “We’re not training for the playoffs this year. But that doesn’t mean we have to stop training altogether. We have big plans. And since we only have Sam for a limited amount of time, we have to make it count." 

I smiled at the thought. "Off-season practice sounds perfect. Fun.”

“A chance for Sam to give some parting wisdom,” Henrik said when he heard Finn and Lincoln’s collective sighs. 

“True…unfortunately true,” Lincoln agreed. “Well, can I at least be in charge of the music on the rides to the rink?”

“No,” Finn said sternly. 

“Come on, it’s a short drive. And I need surround sound to pump me up." 

"Didn’t I buy you a pair of noise-canceling headphones,” Henrik asked, mouth turned down as he wondered if he was recalling things right. 

Lincoln shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s not the same, you know?" 

"Sucks to be you,” Finn joked under his breath. 

“Doesn’t it?” Lincoln let out a purposely dramatic sigh. “Losing a friend to Westbrooke. Having to prove I’m the best goalie in the league to my other friends. Nursing a lovesick heart. It’s rough out here.”

I chuckled. “Your melodrama will be one of the things I miss most." 

Lincoln jumped at the opportunity to be sappy. "So, if you were to make a list, theoretically–" 

"You and this theoretically,” Henrik muttered. 

“Who would you miss most?” Lincoln leaned closer, ready for my answer. “Theoretically." 

"I love all my children equally,” I teased without missing a beat. 

“Boo, tomato,” Lincoln mimed throwing the fruit at me. 

I laughed. “Seriously. I’m gonna miss you all in different ways. But the intensity of it feels the same.”

Lincoln stuck out his bottom lip and nodded. “I would fake barf but that actually meant a lot to hear you say." 

"It did,” Henrik agreed. “Thanks. For everything. Leading us in high school and here. We know it took a lot out of you." 

Finn’s gaze met mine as he said, "Yeah, thank you, Sam. For being there. Listening. Having you there for me after the accident – giving me a break from the drama just to figure my shit out – it means a lot." 

My throat tightened so I simply nodded. 

"Glad to know I’m not the only one who has a heart. For a second I thought you guys were going to let him leave without telling him how you really felt,” Lincoln teased them. “And yeah, you deserve all the thanks, Sam. We will give it to you in the form of a trophy. We will win in your honor.”

“In Sam’s honor,” Henrik seconded with a smile. 

“For Sam.” Finn nodded. “A Mendell championship, for Sam." 

"I appreciate that, I do.” I nodded, still feeling a little misty but proud. “You guys better win with all these promises. Or else, your speeches are all cheese and no backbone." 

"I told you I got this,” Lincoln promised and gripped my shoulder for a gentle squeeze. “Cheese and all. I’m going to bring it home.”

“We’re going to bring it home,” Henrik corrected.

“You guys will be there, too, yes,” Lincoln agreed. 

Henrik snorted and Finn chuckled. They would be fine without me. They were going to win without me. That thought didn’t hurt as much as I assumed it would. We were growing up, ready to trust ourselves just as much as we trusted each other. It felt incredible. It felt freeing. It felt like this was how things were meant to be. 

[meninavazzquezz]

-“Thank you,”

-“For what?”

-“For wanting more from me. Not just the good stuff, but every part.”

Sunny disposition by Deanna Grey

[meninavazzquezz]

-You’re a very intimidating person, you know.

- Says the six-foot hockey player with biceps like boulders.

Sunny disposition by Deanna Grey

[caroldanversenthusiast]

lupita nyong’o as nakia in wakanda forever?? no i will not be over it

[janetsnakehole02]

M’Baku in Wakanda Forever is proof that you can give a Marvel character funny moments while also giving them emotional depth without taking away from the heart of the movie (and actually adding to it)

[podado-t-memes]

It's Them!

Pt 6

[avasillva]

I just want to talk. Like in the closet?

CALLIOPE BURNS & JULIETTE FAIRMONT First Kill S01E02: First Blood

[isareadss]

An Ode to Black Brits: Love in Winter Wonderland Review

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I’ve been dying for this book to come out. As an Black Brit, it’s extremely rare to see myself…

i wrote a review so read it (or read the book first then come back)

[drawnied]

Bela Malhotra from The s*x lives of college girls ✌🏾

I have been watching the new season and I realized how much I missed them all! I love Bela’s character and how fun and sharp and real she is. And of course, Amrit Kaur is exceptionally pretty 😍

[maddiesflame]

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry headers

like/reblog if saved © maddiesflame

[blackgirlcinephiles]

Incoming: Long Post

*Steps on soap box*

*Clears throat*

BEHOLD!

A collection of Black YA romance novels I need TV/Film adaptations for! Right! NEOOOOW!

Over the past few months, I’ve had the pleasure of reading a lot Black YA romance. And what makes me so excited about these books is that they didn’t just tell a good story, but also imparted strong messages about what it means to share a healthy love between family, between friends, and between lovers of course.

Today I want to talk about these books (sans too many spoilers, seriously go read them for yourself!) and the love lessons we can learn from them.

Lesson 1: A healthy love prioritizes trust and respects boundaries.

Joya Goffney has quickly become one of my favorite Black YA authors for several reasons. If there’s one thing she can do, it’s tell an entertaining, well-rounded story.

In Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry, she explores themes of racial identity, class tensions within the Black community, and the feelings of shame, guilt, and pressure that come with trying to understand yourself as a Black teen in this world. In Confessions of an Alleged Good Girl, she explores themes of sexual agency and sex positivity, specifically within the context of southern Black Christianity, and how traditional framings of sex and virginity can leave girls in a vulnerable position, without the knowledge needed to assert themselves within romantic/sexual relationships.

Despite being centered around different topics, I found that both of these novels emphasized the importance of being able to trust in your partner. In Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry, when a trust was broken between our leading couple, working to rebuild it through shared vulnerability was an essential apart of the reconciliation process. In romantic relationships, vulnerability is inevitable, but respect for your partner’s timing should come first.

In Confessions of An Alleged Good Girl, the most freeing and affirming romantic relationship was the one where physical limitations and bodily autonomy were acknowledged and respected, no debate. Being in a romantic relationship does not entail entitlement to your partner’s body and the story really drove that home.

These messages are important for people of any age to hear, but especially for young teens having their first experiences of romance. There can be so many instances where you simply go along with things, because you don’t know any better and you assume that its the way things are. Being able to trust your partner with innermost feelings/secrets and your body is a crucial part of healthy relationships.

Lesson 2: Romance is about effort.

Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s kind of insane the amount of similarities these two novels have while still being wholly unique. Both books include a radio show about love advice, a protagonist wounded by a past friendship betrayal, and wonderful supporting characters who make the story more coloful.

But probably the most satisfying way these novels resemble each other is how the romance is built between the protagonists. Despite rocky beginnings for both couples, connections are built through mutual effort to understand each other’s passions/interests and support one another in their endeavors. These novels probably have the cutest, most swoon-worthy first date moments and it’s entirely because we can see how each protagonist took the time to come up with a creative way to get to know their love interest while also connecting with their passions.

More and more, on social media in particular, it seems that people equate effort or “applying pressure” with doing the fanciest, most expensive activity right off the bat. But like with giving gifts, the best present isn’t always the most expensive one. Rather it’s the one that’s the most thoughtful. That shows you’re paying attention and that you remembered the small, silly, weird details that would otherwise be forgotten.

Lesson 3: Love is a choice worth making.

The last book in this collection is Zyla & Kai by Kristina Forest, who is also quickly becoming another favorite author of mine. What I love about this book is the way the author went about building the narrative leading up to the big reveal. The message was so clear: Things between Zyla & Kai have always been quite simple. It’s everyone and everything else that makes it complicated.

Throughout the story there are so many external forces creating obstacles for Zyla and Kai. Their families, their peers, their pasts, and their futures are all pulling them in opposite directions. Yet, despite these challenges, Zyla and Kai always choose each other and make an active decision to make it work. To try again one more time. Their love story illustrated the idea, that while love can be simple, it’s also a choice that you make everyday.

I hope this post sparks some interest in these books if you haven’t heard of them before. And if you have, what did you think of them? Do you have a favorite?

While some of these books would work well as movies, there are others that I would want as a limited series. All of the books novels, so the story begins and ends and probably shouldn’t be drawn out for multiple seasons, but there a few where I would want to spend a bit more time with the characters than a film would afford. What say you?

[sarahmaclean]

Heartbreaker is a Best Romance of the Year!

I'm so incredibly thrilled to be a part of this roundup at the Washington Post with some of my favorite people (and favorite books!) of the year! I can absolutely cosign Kennedy Ryan (the best drama/angst writer writing right now), Angelina Lopez (so much 🔥🔥🔥), Christina Lauren (the best adventure romance of the year, hands down), and Tracey Livesay (god I love this book so much) -- and I'm adding the others to my TBR right now!

Read the whole piece (and sort your end of year reading!) here.