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Today in Things I Say Now: "Would you believe me if I said I don't remember the words to 'The Wheels on the Bus'?"

Children's show where they use the magic of reading to solve problems, only all the problems are horrid murders committed by thrill-killers.

— Post-Culture Review (@PostCultRev)

September 19, 2014

#literacy #problem solving

the lack of pictures is my greatest failure in two years of parenting

I pull the Toddler’s shirt over his head and let him put his arms into the sleeves himself. He puts his right arm through his sleeve and I say, "Good job! Can you put your arm in the other sleeve?" I look up to brush his wet hair. When I look back down, he has threaded his right arm through the neck hole and into the left sleeve *from the inside*.

#toddlers #parenting #style #life skills

Dude is living his best life.

#literacy #nutrition #life skills #come and eat #george ancona

just in case your day was going TOO great

New Saddest Thing: a pantsless toddler, brandishing a book called Smiling and repeating “smiling! smiling!” while actually weeping because you didn’t hear him ask you to read it the first time.

#toddlers #parenting #literacy #social emotional learning #new saddest thing

his head is itchiest at lunchtime

Things I Say Now: "That's not a bug, it's the sweet potatoes you put in your hair."

#toddlers #parenting #entomology #nutrition #style #things i say now

parenting is compromise

Things I Say Now: “You can fart IN the tub.”

#parenting #toddlers #hygene #things i say now

I made this!

#literacy #giving tree

Husband: *pointing at Toddler's goose puzzle piece* "What's that?" Toddler: "cookie monster."

#toddlers #parenting #sesame street #zoology

Me: "What shape are those frisbees?" Toddler: "blue."* *They are red and orange. And circular.

#toddlers #parenting #geometry

Toddler: *shoves huge bite of falafel in mouth* “all done!” Me: “Okay, but please stay in your chair until you’ve chewed and swallowed.” Toddler: *meltdown* *meltdown* *meltdown* *allows half-chewed falafel to fall out of mouth onto floor* *picks up falafel and eats it* eerily calm “good job.”

#toddlers #parenting #nutrition #heimlich #selfesteem

that can't be good

Toddler: “screaming! screaming!” Me: “Who’s screaming?” Toddler: “clouds.”

#parenting #end of days #toddlers

Me: “Can I have a kiss?” Toddler: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! yes.”

#parenting #toddlers #social skills

"oh."

Me: *opens the door to the toddler’s room to get him up from his nap* Toddler: “daddy!” *sees me* “oh. close the door.”

#parenting #toddlers #great expectations

civilized dinnertime conversation

Me: “What did you do today?” Toddler: “slap!” Me: “Oh no. We don’t slap friends, we use our gentle hands!” Toddler: *giggles maniacally* Later, apropos of nothing Toddler: “bite! bite daddy!”

#parenting #toddlers #art of conversation

Me: “‘What do they taste like?’” Toddler: “beans!”

#mo willems #the pigeon #literacy #parenting #toddlers

Me: “What are those?” Toddler: “Chickens!”

#mo willems #the pigeon #literacy #nutrition #parenting #toddlers

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