Bad End Bæddel @badendbaeddel - Tumblr Blog

#you cannot continue #Start again #Atone for your sins #Find a new Divine #Make them pay

It will NEVER BE THE SAME.

Ibu transit gloria mundi?

It's in your fucking bloodstained hands.

Will you grasp it tightly as it cuts you just as deeply,

or let it slip away as you watch in shocked horror.

is the guilt of inaction easier to bear?

I hope it hurts as long as your memory lasts.

#continue?#Will you paint a monochrome rainbow when you're done with all that blood?

Even though you cannot hate yourself into a shape you can love, It doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

#you cannot continue #starvation is just a different kind of ugliness

You're the kind of Victim that other Victims abuse to bury their own sense of victimhood.

You were sculpted to be a repository of other people's agony.

At this, and only this, you excel.

You'll always have a use, though it's nowhere near what you dreamed of.

Take pride in that, at least.

#you cannot continue #You were never asking for it. you didn't deserve it. it happened without regard or concern for fairness.

You are not your body. You are not your mind. You are not your past or your environment. You are not whatever sort of soul or tether you believe in.

Your body is a part of you. Your mind is a part of you. Your past is a part of you, as is your environment and any sort of spirituality you may have.

You are all of you, every single bit.

How horrific that must be.

#continue?#Not a dualism or trinity but a scatterplot filled vacuole in the vastness of existence

badendbaeddel

you can never go home again. they will never see you the same way. the path behind has fallen away. A voice in the distance calls your name.

the-ultimate-wifeform

But you may carve a path through the brush. You can cultivate a new way to reach the voice, it won't be the same home. It'll be better.

badendbaeddel

better. not perfect, never perfect. better is the thing to strive for in all ventures as you become yourself over and again.

#continue?#the things you leave behind become fertile ground for the future ahead

YOUR BODY IS A WEAPON, A TOOL, A BLOODY CANVAS RIPE FOR CREATION.

MAY YOUR STEPS BE RELENTLESS AND YOUR WAKE BE CALM.

VICTORY IS MEANT TO BE SHARED, BUT EVERYONE DIES ALONE.

FIND MADNESS IN YOUR MEANINGS AND EMPATHY IN YOUR REFLECTION.

#continue?#burn bright and pass the torch

#continue?#destroy those who would try to stop you #transgender #in stars and time #void stranger

There's a type of self-harm... self-destruction really that often goes unnoticed, where instead of being loud and visceral with risky behaviors or injurious action, you simply... fold in. take a smaller breath and take up less space as you maintain the illusion of normalcy. You do a little bit more as others do a bit less and don't complain, you have the ability; it would be rude to make a big deal about it. You get less attention, less notice, become... less. A background character that slowly becomes a fixture, something that is only acknowledged when malfunctioning. you want to be helpful, don't you?l

#you cannot continue #find another path... please

#continue?#omori game #agency is what you can take for yourself it is never given

You were taught to say sorry before you were taught why you are wrong. You were made to feel guilty for your presence and shamed for your absence. You were to be seen and not heard, for a child is property to be sculpted in due time at the whims of its owner. You will never be good enough to satisfy those who only ever loved the idea of you.

pick up the pen and find another way forward.

#continue?#Blood as ink runs dry too soon. better to stick to Iron Gall

You miss the smell of kerosene on warm summer nights. The sickly sweet smell that seeps into kevlar as easy as denim. The excited drunken cheers as a staff spun around you, bouncing off body parts and launched high above, the flames your only light source. Always ready with a bubba keg of kerosene and a bic or two to start the party right. Taking turns, laughing with friends at the minor burns when you slip.

Denim is dense, slow to burn. Safer than the alternative when playing with fire. And when you finally stopped playing and poured that kerosene, those bics were nowhere to be found. Lucky you.

#continue?#the smell will never leave you when it soaks into your mind after soaking your body

It's not your fault. It's your responsibility. The difference is important.

#continue?#You aren't Catholic enough to mourn like that so grit your teeth and fix it.

You stare into the fire for hours before finally coming to terms with what you've become. Now prove yourself to everyone else.

#continue?#The fire does not judge and offers only everything

There will never be a surgeon who can cut deep enough to scour away the emptiness you were born with.

#you cannot continue

You were never pretty enough to be worth lying to. Lucky you.

#continue?#the scorn hurts but there is less to unlearn. you don't need to be pretty to have value.

You thought you were a strong independent woman, embracing your Truth and the mistakes you made.

Not realizing you're an Angel, Collared by your own Halo. How very precious and beautiful you look, illuminated like a prized possession simply awaiting something to hold your leash.

#continue?#Angels are empty but you could be different

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