The girl you probably won't like

my feelings are crazy

[badinfluence000]

i need to erase you from my mind, from my heart

but that's not what I really want

i want to be more than your distraction

i'm not going crazy or know what we've been through i know the feeling involved

i just wanted you to realize that we could be more

open your heart to me, beautiful

[badinfluence000]

here I am again

i lost myself once more

and once again I had to go back to my refuge place

where I can write what I can't tell anyone until I find myself again

[badinfluence000]

one day a very close person asked me the following question

how good is life, isn't it good to be alive?

at the time I didn't know what to say, but in my head, I could only think that I didn't agree and that I just want to not be alive anymore

[badinfluence000]

i want to erase some people from my memory

but you my love you are connected to these people so you'll never understand how it hurts me

i don't know if I'm capable of pretending it's okay

maybe I don't want to pretend it's okay anymore

and that means losing you again

is that the price I have to pay to not suffer anymore?

[badinfluence000]

i want you to say cute things to me as cheesy as it sounds

i want when I tell you I miss you, tell me you can't wait to see each other

i want to give and receive unexpected gifts, be praised for the smallest detail

i want you to show me how important I am to you and I'll do the same

i want to feel loved in every way and even from distancie

[badinfluence000]

I thought I was fine, but I'll never be fine again and I need to accept that.

Every day I have to win a battle with my feelings and thoughts and manage to win so I can face another the next day.

There are days that are more peaceful than others I've activated and I'm gonna have to live with it until my last day.t

[badinfluence000]

i'm so tired of living

[badinfluence000]

i got what I wanted so badly to have you back

but I've measured the consequences

do you really love me?

are you feeling lonely?

are you feeling guilty?

will you stay with me forever?

i want to throw myself out, but the fear of hurting gets in the way

[badinfluence000]

i have a question for you.

if the person you love needs an indeterminate time to settle his life

and someone close tells you not to give up on this person, would you give up or not?

[badinfluence000]

if I say goodbye you'll answer me or just visualize as you always do

it won't make any difference I intend to go and never come back so you'll get the peace you seek and so will I

[badinfluence000]

i tried to call for help

i went for help

but in the end, only one thing matters I don't want to be there anymore. I don't want to be with you anymore

you may miss me, but that's part of everyday

[badinfluence000]

i died three months ago and I'm gonna continue to die until I can be at peace

[badinfluence000]

i'm full of hope and excitement today

because today I'll know if I'm going to continue like this or go back to the dark and lonely place

[badinfluence000]

i'm worried about the void I'm feeling becoming permanent

but I'm also worried about getting back to all those bad feelings

Why options can't be good or bad instead of bad and bad

[badinfluence000]

we all have hopes and dreams that's what makes us live

but when we don't have that, we don't have anything left

we're dead inside and there's no room among the living for you anymore

[badinfluence000]

i'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid people will forget me when I die

but the reality is that people forget you while you're alive

that's not funny ?

[badinfluence000]

i can't help other people in their battles if in mine I'm dying

or is that how you win?