Bad. Pitches. Period.

Bad. Pitches. Period. - Calling out spammers and scammers since November 2014.

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An 'honest' mistake...

An ‘honest’ mistake…

Some spammers will never stop surprising me. They don’t seem to have any pride or self-respect…

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Investigative writer, anyone?

I receive many horrible pitches every day. But, once in a while, one tops them all. So, I can’t help but respond to the spammer sender. Here is what landed in my inbox today. (As a reminder, Social Media Slant is a blog dedicated to helping people (especially photographers) promote themselves better on social media.) And my answer is below:

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'I require 50% off. I hope you understand'

‘I require 50% off. I hope you understand’

Some spammers really work hard to make me fall in love with them these days.

Here is the latest conversation I had with one of them. Honestly, it’s hilarious. Or I have a very strange sense of humor.

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The latest bad pitch has arrived! ...And my "kind look" is certainly not for you or your email.

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The day I started hearing Simon Cowell in my head...

The day I started hearing Simon Cowell in my head…

It took me a very long time to understand the purpose of this email. Actually, I still don’t get it.

However, every time I read it, I hear Simon Cowell’s quote — “It was a little bit like a Chihuahua trying to be a tiger.”

Must be the X Factor mention…

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The best bloggers and marketers on the planet have broached this topic many times. I have…

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Irrelevant and unprofessional pitches are the new black

Irrelevant and unprofessional pitches are the new black

I wonder how many hours those spammers spend pitching people every day. And, do they have lives?

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Let me sleep on it… ...NOT!

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Irrelevant and unprofessional pitches are the new black

I wonder how many hours those spammers spend pitching people every day. And, do they have lives? 

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Let me sleep on it...

...NOT!

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Le confusing email!

I honestly don’t understand most of this email.

“you’ll be churning like gangbusters for EPIC results”? Not sure why I keep seeing balloons, hotdogs, and pizza exploding together in my head when reading this sentence.

Word collages in an email is a first for me as well. Maybe I don’t use Google Translate enough.

LE confusing pitch!

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How to bust a fake social media expert in a few steps

Twitter is my favorite platform. Most of my leads come from there.

However, between the auto-DMs and messages from self-proclaimed social media experts / gurus, I understand why so many people are skeptical of its efficiency.

I monitor conversations around my name, because I love interacting with people and build relationships with others. 

Below is what I caught today and the ensuing conversation...

She asks the same question to all her new followers. There is nothing else in her timeline. 

Her answer: http://i.imgur.com/kt6SSAM.gifv

(Tumblr won’t let me add the GIF here)

Her answer: http://i.imgur.com/rm1UYXP.gifv

(Tumblr won’t let me add the GIF here)

Then, surprise! I got blocked!

So folks, that’s how you expose a fake social media expert in a couple of steps. 

:-)

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Trolling at its best

I’m getting tired of all the violence spread around social media. People kill themselves because some like the person below take a malicious pleasure in debasing them. 

The last part of my answer is missing. So here it is below: 

May I remind you that a bitch is also a female dog? Dogs are nice animals. What do you have against them? Did one bite your head when you were a kid and you cannot get any closure?   "If u want to dance with the Devil bring good shoes........" - And if you want to communicate with people online, bring a good dictionary and grammar book. And common sense arguments. And punctuation. "Non vede mecum!!!!!" - It's "vade" not "vede". But I like the sentiment. Have a great weekend. And don't forget to chill. You obviously need it.

Then, the conversation continues:

This person is obviously very unhappy. Otherwise, they would not feel the need to spew so many hateful words.

However, wishing death on someone? Seriously? After the recent events in the U.S., France, and elsewhere, this is beyond unacceptable.

I’m not angry. That verbal violence just saddens me, especially the derogatory terms used against the LGBT community.

But I guess that’s the way ignorant folks roll.  

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For a split second, I thought Dory had typed this email. And then, I remembered that she is a fictional character. 

More seriously, this is one of the worst pitches I have received so far this year! 

NB: Needless to say that the links that spammer shared have NOTHING to do with skin care. lol

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Dear Spammer,

Thank you for this lovely message. I do not feel like a number on a list at all.

Of course, I would love to have your "innovative and useful tutorials on my website"...

...NOT. 

I look forward to NOT hearing from you.

A person with a name  

(I actually sent this message...)

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Selected passages from my comment spam folder on Social Media Slant (part 1).

You’ve got to admit that the names are hilarious!   

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I am awesome. My content is awesome. And my followers are amazing. And yet, you don't know my name and my guest posting guidelines, which both take two seconds to find. Yeah, I am impressed... ...But not in an awesome or amazing way.