ao3, my lord and savior

i only post when ao3 is down or when im going through something any pronouns

[bagelfordinner]

i just recently finished watching the bear with my dad, and we disagreed a lot on what romantic relationships should have looked like. he wanted carmy to be with claire, who was good for him and willing to put in the work to help him. i think that’s incredibly wrong, because while claire loved him, she didn’t understand him.

sydney understood carmy. she understood his goals and aspirations and the way he sees cooking and why he feels and acts how he does. you can see it in that scene where he drops the plate; sydney instantly knows how he feels and what to say.

and, even further, he gets her, too. he knows what she needs to be the best head chef, and consistently encourages her to take pride in her cooking.

claire loved carmy, and im sure he returned that. but she didn’t know him, he didn’t know her. to be truly, deeply loved you need to be known, understood. it’s a rare thing - to be both loved and known by someone. that’s what sydney and carmy have.

[bagelfordinner]

satoru gojo makes me so deeply upset.

first, it is so obvious that he - along with geto - was depressed and overworked after they graduated. we saw it only in geto, though. we saw his exact path towards corruption and his breaking point, when he gave up on humanity.

but we never saw that in gojo. we saw his overwhelming personality, his aloofness, and his seemingly uncaring perspective because he was “the strongest” and everyone in his life viewed him as that - expected it, even. very few believed him a person. and, if they did, they weren’t really there for him.

and we know it was lonely. gojo was one of a kind; no one could match his strength or even his personality. he returned home to an empty household with no one. he never had close friends after geto, never let anyone in, and people eventually gave up (if they even tried at all).

and he died like that. used as a weapon and a weapon only, giving everything of himself while never really being able to give what mattered after losing who he loved (geto, megumi). he died lonely, regretful, and grieving. that just fucking kills me.

[bagelfordinner]

semester just started… ao3 is down… FUCK

[bagelfordinner]

i honestly don’t care about the cyber attack because ao3 is still up 🙏

[bagelfordinner]

okay, is it super weird that i find the omegaverse interesting? whenever i talk about it or a fic relating to it, people ask me to stop cuz it’s “weird” and “gross,” but i don’t see it that way? i think it adds another level of introspection to certain stories. you can add angst or fluff in a variety of ways you couldn’t regularly. it touches on some social constructs in an interesting way, too. is it that strange?

[bagelfordinner]

wdym i start college soon and now i have to go to classes instead of watching gay tv shows and reading omegaverse fanfic 💔

[florbexter]

And that's what I always thought is quintessential Suo Wei. The way he craves this deep, obsessive connection with Chi Cheng because he had to hear all about those six years of longing and pining, and because he hadn't been loved like that, ever.

Chi Cheng's crashout is about him, but as always he doesn't know that and this is so funny that at the one hand Chi Cheng's crashouts are always about him and proof how deeply he cares and on the other hand he knows Suo Wei so well already that all of Suo Wei's plans backfire because they amuse Chi Cheng, he's delighted by them, they prove to him what Suo Wei feels, while his non-reactions give Suo Wei the total opposite: insecurity.

I cannot wait for the ultimate showdown between them but boy am I scared.

[bagelfordinner]

y’all don’t get wu suo wei like i do. yes, it’s frustrating that he didn’t just tell chi cheng that he loved him, but his words weren’t meant to be honest. they were meant to hurt.

what some of you aren’t considering is wu’s character. he has never been in a relationship where he was fully loved by someone else, and that caused some intense insecurity. add in the actions of wang shuo, the lying from chi, and even things chi said before they got together (like just wanting to sleep with him) and you get someone who fully believes chi doesn’t love him.

it’s not that wu doesn’t love chi back, it’s that he believes he wants his ex. he left the box with everything in it for a reason. he wanted to give chi a reason to break up with him - knowing it would hurt - so he could get with wang shuo. remember, wu thought he lost chi when he saw him kissing wang shuo, and he’s willing to break himself for the happiness of chi cheng, the love of his life. so, when chi gave him that out, said he would look past everything, wu probably didn’t think anything would change. he’s not evil or terrible or entirely selfish, he just dares to love, even when he holds himself back from that.

[bagelfordinner]

guys i need fics with tropes like revenged love PLEASE, like the “misunderstanding” and “finding out” angsty shit because i cannot deal with the latest episode

[bagelfordinner]

I NEED MY YAOI TODAY ARE YOU KIDDING ME AO3

[bagelfordinner]

ao3 please it’s 100 degrees i don’t want to go outside come back

[bagelfordinner]

me when my vibrator (ao3) dies and i have to go back to manual (reading a book)

[bagelfordinner]

Does anyone ever think about why Peter didn’t tell MJ at the end of No Way Home? Of course, there’s the reason of him being afraid of hurting her - losing her - which is why the camera pans to her injury from the end fight. But, I think there’s another layer to it.

The first part of this movie focuses a lot on Peter’s identity as Spider-Man being revealed. And, because of that, people turn on him suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere. But it wasn’t out of nowhere, this came from the public idolization of Mysterio and a lack of trust in superheroes and Peter being a minor (which, to many, felt like a betrayal). For Peter, however, this was all of a sudden. From that moment on, he was even more of an outcast than he already was. From getting bricks thrown into his apartment to being called a freak directly, Peter faced a ton of backlash for being himself.

And then, of course, May dies. He loses everyone in his life that loved him, and thus, everyone who ever accepted him. Nobody knew him. Not even his two best friends. Ned had forgotten every moment they shared. MJ was no longer his girlfriend. Neither of them were the people who grew to understand him. I think Peter was afraid of being rejected by them like he was by everyone else. Because they were everyone else now. They didn’t know him.

So, instead of opening up and revealing himself, he stays hidden. That possibility of not being accepted as he was, was worse than any of the crushing loneliness he felt.

[suhosieun]

it’s genuinely wild how often weak hero gets reduced to "bromance,” like the story is just about a particularly intense friendship and not something far more complicated, far more intimate. this isn't just shippers projecting. this isn't just wishful thinking. you don’t need the director and cast members repeatedly claiming that suho and sieun are each other's first love to interpret that on your own. the narrative already tells you—quietly, devastatingly, and with absolute clarity.

the queer subtext isn’t subtle. it’s not hidden in glances or throwaway lines. it’s built into the structure of their relationship, in every decision they make. suho knew beomseok had tampered with his bike. that wasn’t just bullying; it was a premeditated act of violence. he knew what kind of danger he was walking into when he went to the ring, and he went anyway. alone. outnumbered. no illusions. he knew he could die. but he went. because they hurt sieun. because sieun got hurt for him.

that’s their language. not confession, but action. not sentiment, but sacrifice. die for each other. kill for each other.

and sieun, who had always been defined by his discipline, his detachment, his spotless academic record? he lets himself spiral. he got expelled. stopped eating. stopped sleeping. stopped going to cram school. when he found out suho was in critical condition, he froze in the middle of the street and didn’t move, even with a car speeding toward him. as if life without suho wasn’t a life worth returning to.

he came back from a coma asking for suho, looking for him. suho was already in one because of him. they revolve around each other like twin stars caught in gravity’s pull—self-destructive, unstoppable, and impossibly close. love doesn’t always look like romance, but that doesn’t make it less real. or less queer.

so no, it’s not just a bromance. and if that’s all you see—if you can watch all of that and not feel the weight of what’s being said without words? then i'm sorry, but you’ve missed the entire point.

[bagelfordinner]

I don’t see anybody talking about this, but Sieun’s parents had such an effect on his character and his mom pissed me off so much this season.

Neither of them ever paid any attention to him when he was young, often seeming to blame him for anything that centered attention onto him instead of them. It really wasn’t until everything started going down that they started looking at him at all. And then, after what happened with Suho, they decided he would live with his mother, who put on this new front of being caring, like she had never not been caring before.

But Sieun didn’t forget. How could he? She was never involved or interested in his life until he looked bad for her reputation. He exists as something to show off for his mother and nothing else. So, when he starts getting back into gangs and fighting - which wasn’t even really his fault tbh - she puts all the blame on him. She even tries to FORCE HIM to study abroad.

She knows NOTHING about him. Her neglect (and his father’s) pushed him into the character he is, which indirectly forced him into the mess around him. THEY caused this, not him, because all Sieun really wants is fucking care and interest for once in his life. And he has to fight for that.

[bagelfordinner]

SPOLIERS FOR WHC2!!!

Okay, so this part of the season actually changed my mind A LOT. When I originally watched the first season, I really hated Beomseok for what he did to Suho. It felt really dramatic almost, like it came out of nowhere. But after listening to this conversation - and especially to how desperate and pained Sieun was about everything - I realized that it wasn’t at all.

Beomseok was abused his whole life, at school and home. He grew up understanding violence as the center of everything, as something that was used to solve problems and carry out relationships. So, the minute he started to believe Suho didn’t care about him, he turned to what he knew. It wasn’t just about instagram, it was a confirmation about what he already feared. That insecurity translated to his relationship with Sieun, too, even if Sieun showed him how much he considered him a friend.

Of course, this doesn’t excuse what he did to Suho, but it explains it a lot. Especially considering he’s my age and I can understand a lot of his feelings and irrationality. He didn’t deserve anything that happened to him either, like getting sent away by his father. He just needed help, and he didn’t recognize it when he got it from Sieun.

And Sieun never even blamed him. Instead, he blamed himself for never being there for Beomseok in the way he needed, and it terrified him to become friends with anyone else in fear he would let them down in the same way. He cared for Beomseok so much and considered him one of his only real friends, which is why the dream Beomseok asks Sieun if “they are more important to him” than he is. He was holding onto this relationship and guilt desperately, but his new friends showed him that it wasn’t his fault.

But, anyway. I’ve changed my mind about Beomseok’s character and started to really like him. I hate what he did, but I can’t hate him.

[bagelfordinner]

maybe it’s just me, but i find it so extremely difficult to read fanfic that mischaracterizes the main character.

like what do you mean matt murdock is topping? there’s NO WAY he doesn’t get absolutely railed bruh be serious.