there is a sliver of disappointment that wedges deep inside kuzan. he wishes it didn't, because a voice in the back of his mind tells him he does not deserve it anyway, but pax sits in his lap, tightly secured in his cold embrace, and still he does not say it back. his love overflow, and it is everywhere, bright and electric and soft as steam, but it is not voiced—and the former admiral can't help looking up at him, hating himself for the expectant light in his speckled eyes. kuzan dives for another kiss, and it gets more desperate every time their lips clash, slick and filthy, the combined noises rising from their chests a testament of how badly they both want what they promised each other, long ago. kuzan's hands crawl all the way up and down the mistbinder's back, feeling the goosebumps that are left after his passage like a trail of pleasure for him to retrace.
he loves him... his heart of ice feels like it might explode from how much he loves pax, how badly he needs to tell him again, even if he won't get it back—but his mouth is busy, and his mind is filled with the faint aftershock that the friction between his half-hard cock and pax's pretty ass sparks through him. when they part, kuzan licks his lower lip, as though he could still savor his beloved's taste in the sweet, silver gleam of his saliva. he's so close to finding heaven, in a secluded hut in the middle of nowhere, but he only realizes how far he'd actually been when pax unclasps his top, letting it fall between them. kuzan's eyes widen, his breath catches. ‘arara,’ well, there's no way he could ever turn back now. he does not want to, neither of them wants to. they've been waiting for so long that the opportunity to touch pax like that feels almost like a mirage.
kuzan feels himself twitch, and no doubt pax feels it too.
‘you have to warn me next time, i'm not a strong man.’
there's a wicked glint in his eyes as his hands travel from the mistbinder's back to the front. two cold fingers rush to tease a nipple, toying with the piercing as he rubs it to hardness. kuzan's eyes lid heavily as he meets the younger's gaze—something of a test quietly taking place as pax's warmth pools, his consent palpable as it grinds down against kuzan as the tiniest movement. the former admiral does not wait much to cup both of his breasts in his hands and squeeze them with hurried desire, as his head dips and his mouth finds the same nipple that is, by now, puffy with attention. he laps at it with hunger, tongue swirling over the sensitive head, then switches to its neglected twin—again and again he sucks passionate kisses, on the tip as well as the rest of pax's soft breast, and fuck, if this foreign warmth that spreads through him is pax's doing, he will take it.
a silver thread of saliva connects his lips to the mistbinder's nipple as he parts, that he reflexively licks away. mischief gleams in his eyes as he smiles. ‘—anyone ever told you that you taste amazing?’ kuzan leans again, teeth gently nibbling pax's breast for a fleeting instant, as if he could not pull away. he does not doubt someone probably did, though he's not sure how the idea makes him feel. ten years... pax must have had lovers. flings. one night stands. kuzan sure did, and now he realize, from how little it took to get him that achingly hard, that no one is going to compare. he places a sweet, chaste kiss on pax's sternum—on his heart. ‘all of you, i bet.’