whore of babylon

[ballgags]

I kind of want to end this sometimes but I love you and being single again seems really awful and I'm not really interested in finding anyone else. fuck

[ballgags]

I hate how I can be in the same room as you on a daily basis but still feel like you don't want me around

[ballgags]

i really wish somebody understood how much i hate my boobs and how much i want to remove them and how much getting praised for my boobs isn't a compliment.

[lifemadesimple]

[ballgags]

I want to erase everything.

[ballgags]

literally hate hate hate my body. this is changing today

[ballgags]

self esteem is literally zero right now

[ballgags]

eating disorders are a lot easier when you're addicted to cigarettes

[ballgags]

no but seriously I am bad at being alone // anytime I'm by myself for more than a few hours I fall into a deep reconsideration of what it means to be an individual//a person//"functioning" (lol) member of society

[october-tenth]

If love is the only salvation this world knows, I do not want to be a part of it.

Charles Bukowski (via october-tenth)

[thesatyrincyprus]

I had lost any charm I might ever have had and felt that no one could possibly love me the way I was. I certainly had no love for myself.

Hermann Hesse from Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair’s Youth (via cerebralproxy)

[ballgags]

/kill myself

I feel so much guilt for things that aren't even my fault. Why do yho make me feel guilty for these things. Why do you make me feel so ashamed?? You made me feel ashamed about my rape and you don't give a fuck about how much I sacrifice for you. You don't.

[ballgags]

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

[ballgags]

sometimes I think of all the ways I've hurt my partner and how I'd do anything to take them back. literally anything.

[ballgags]

some goals

1) strengthen my relationship. always. always always always.

2) stop getting drunk so much

3) stop caring about the punk scene and start caring about making genuine friendships. not necessarily related, but I feel like the people I've met at punk shows have a tendency to only talk to me when they want something. fuq that.

4) work on seeing my friends more!! I MISS MY FRIENDS A LOT!!!

5) find a job. maybe.

[ballgags]

my boyfriend found this blog and read it in front of me, tbh it was hard but I'm kinda glad it happened

[ballgags]

are there people who are easy to love?