for the record i'm asexual
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@ballposter
for the record i'm asexual
[ID: An image showing a baseball flying across the screen, labelled as such with a circle and quotation marks around the word baseball. A textbox under it reads
- The official ball of baseball - Commonly thrown by baseball players - Keep an eye out for one of these bad boys the next time you watch a baseball game
/End ID]
[Image ID: A stock photo of a person holding a basketball. The basketball has been circled in red and badly magnified. Next to it are several red arrows and the text "its ball". /End ID]
its ball
me and my friends made this drink called jim's last minute power up. it has 2 shots of espresso, 1 tsp vanilla extract, and the rest of the glass is filled with a 1:1 ratio of monster energy (any flavor) and diet coke, topped with sprinkles. it's. it's not good.
Hi!! One of the friends here. I was the poor unfortunate soul who had to down this absolute monstrosity, and I did my best to update everyone about it.
To be a little more specific about the order, the creation of this thing went a little like “enough sprinkles to cover the bottom of the glass —> espresso poured above sprinkles —> one part monster —> one part diet coke —> mix —> wonder if the foam will dissolve (it will not) —> top with more sprinkles —> hype yourself up for a good five minutes before you get the courage to actually drink the thing.” Here’s what it looks like:
A couple of notes! See all those sprinkles at the top? That’s because whatever “foam” was on top looked pretty grody, so instead of realizing that this was Probably Not A Good Idea, I just covered it with a copious amount of sprinkles again and it turned out looking. Marginally better.
As for the taste, it starts off with a little bit of sweetness for about a millisecond before immediately hitting you with the most acidic taste that I’ve tasted in my entire fucking life. It’s like battery acid or bile. The residue sticks to the top of your mouth specifically and stays really bitter while still having that sweetness from before, but it’s almost rotten at that point. Sickeningly sweet. But just barely.
The aftertaste lingers for so long that even trying to wash it out with water only emphasizes that “orange juice after brushing your teeth” feeling. The foam’s almost like something you’d get from a finely-curdled milk but still a foam somehow and there isn’t even any milk in there so I have NO idea how it turned out that way.
As soon as I took a sip, I swear, my hands started shaking. I’m fine now, but I thought that it was definitely because this had close to (if not more than) half the recommended amount of caffeine that an individual should have in a given day if you drank the whole thing, but. No. I barely had any. I’m half-sure that the sheer abhorrence of the taste caused me to start trembling in fear of what I’d done. It’s so bad.
anyways, please do not try this. it’s not worth it. i typically refuse to recognize my own hubris but this is one of the few times when i will
[Image ID: The first is a photo of the described drink. The second is the above post, edited blackout poetry style to only spell out the word "ball" multiple times over, and the word "bass" once. /End ID]
ball counter: a lot bass counter: 1
[Image ID: A screenshot of a Google Images search result of a stock photo of a soccer ball. The word "ball" in the title has been highlighted in red and magnified. /End ID]
no fucking way
If you join the Emperor’s Coven you can play Sport with Ball once a year on your day off!!!
[Image ID: The above post, edited to only say "Ball". /End ID]
ball 👍
i have discovered reblogging posts and doing my thing on this blog installs a very specific variety of shame upon my soul not because of the immature sex jokes (i have no problem with these) but because i am a gimmick blog
[Image ID: A screenshot of the above post, edited to only say "ball". /End ID]
lol
i'm going to jeff the kill you
i have discovered reblogging posts and doing my thing on this blog installs a very specific variety of shame upon my soul not because of the immature sex jokes (i have no problem with these) but because i am a gimmick blog
[Image ID: A screenshot of the above post, edited to only say "ball". /End ID]
lol
i have discovered reblogging posts and doing my thing on this blog installs a very specific variety of shame upon my soul not because of the immature sex jokes (i have no problem with these) but because i am a gimmick blog
Extremely funny forever how “pee is stored in the balls” got turned into wholesome shit like “love is stored in the cat” or whatever. Like do you guys even realize. The balls
[Image ID: The above post, edited to read: "balls / The ball" /End ID]
cats are onto something with bonking their heads against people btw
im glad we all agree
[Image ID: A screenshot of the above post, edited to only say "ball". /End ID]
[Image ID: Image one is a tweet by emi fisher 🎣 (@ emi_f1sher) reading "how about you try and be in the top 0.5% of listening to women" Image two is the same tweet, edited blackout-poetry style to read "how about you top women" Image three is also the same tweet, this time blackout-poetry style edited to just read "bal". The account's profile picture has been replaced with a crudely drawn football. /End ID]
[Image ID: A poorly edited graphic of two spheres next to each other. Above and below them is inconsistently spaced text, reading: "im mod ba, and im mod ll, and we're the ball blesbians". Ball blesbians is in badly scaled up fire text. Both the fire text and one of the spheres have fake transparent backgrounds. /End ID]
i roped my partner into doing this with me you people better be fucking ready
[Image ID: A screenshot of a Google Images search result of a stock photo of a soccer ball. The word "ball" in the title has been highlighted in red and magnified. /End ID]
no fucking way