Bambam couldnât see it, but Dongyoon was smiling like never before as he held his arms around Bambam. A big smile planted on his lips and for some reason tears in his eyes, he didnât know he had missed Bambam this much, he didnât even know why he was getting teary. Luckily for him, before any tears could roll down his cheeks the hug stopped, the smile planted on his lips didnât leave him, the smile was simply just sent in Bambamâs direction.
He held his breath as Bambam talked, he scratched his neck as he looked at Bambam. He didnât know very much about talking about feelings, and family he knows even less about. Dongyoon still talks with his family, a lot for a fact, but he prefers not talking about them. Dongyoon knows the feeling Bambam is feeling, that you have participated in something big and then failed. In the beginning whenever Dongyoon auditioned or went to casting he would tell his family, and they would all cheer him on, but as time went by and Dongyoon continued to fail, it was hard for everybody to cheer. At some point Dongyoon completely stopped talking about what he was doing and what he was going to do, that way he couldnât be a failure.
He knows how to deal with the problem himself, he can just play and go walks with Iri that way he becomes happy again, but it isnât like he can just teleport Iri over to Bambam right now. âI knowââ he cut himself off, he wouldâve said he knew the feeling himself, but he didnât want to turn the conversation to be about him. âThatâs alright, if you donât feel like facing or talking to anyone then you donât need toâ.
He followed Bambam quietly, and like always he had a smile on his lips as Bambam talked, he forgot to listen and instead just looked at Bambam.
âUhâYeah that sounds delicious, Iâm really hungryâ.
âbut thatâs a bit cowardly, no?â it was something that had bugged him since he chose to stay hidden. there was a sort of half smile on his lips as he took a seat next to dongyoon. he didnât want to rush the other but he did want to know what he thought about it. and if they needed to order replacement food, he wanted to know before the few close places closed. it was hard to get rid of the blush, it looked like it would follow him everywhere. âi knew there was a chance but..knowing and it happening...â bambam trailed off, were two very different things.Â
âi guess itâs more so the humiliation. i re-signed my contract not to long ago, if i wasnât enough..they couldâve just told me they didnât want me. iâm embarrassed because i spent years of my life iâll never get back in the company...only to be tossed aside over people who joined not even a year ago.â all in all, it just made him feel..pathetic. but he moved as he spoke, putting food onto both their places, his voice breaking every now and then. âif they wouldâve told me i wasnât what they wanted at the start..i wouldnât have gone on the show and embarrassed myself and my family.â he had felt proud publicly supporting his cousins before this, and now he couldnât bring himself to talk to them.Â
and it was with that thought, that he felt like he might really cry. a change of subject was needed, nova was the last thing he wanted to talk about at this point. âso what did you during those two months? what happened here seoul?â they had little to no contact with the outside world. âdid anything fun happen?âÂ