bambi @bambiposts - Tumblr Blog

missing friends that hate me now or that i hate now or both and feeling so horrible n lost n confused n missing times when i had everyone and things were better

#i dont understand people who can Move On #like we said we loved each other and we were friends and we talked everyday and my phone is full of a thousand doodles of us #and then you just go oh were not friends anymore and then u forget abt everything . ?#i dont know how youre supposed to do it #in both cases I was the one who said we're not friends anymore and in one case i was just bad mentally ill and lashing out and saying thing #and in the other case the person absolutely deserved it #but i miss. everyone

bambiposts

i feel this again every day

#picture youre me and you become insanely codependent on someone and the friendship is so unhealthy #that they get upset when u hang out with other people and so you just dont really spend time with other friends and then suddenly #theyre the only one you ever speak to #and then #and then!!#you find out theyre actually like a rlly scary freak thats evil!! uh oh!!#and now youre mentally ill #everyone blocked them day 1 and i kept them ublocked for a week or so just sending them messages every day screaming at them or telling the #how badly they hurt me and how badly they hurt other people #i had to accept i was beating a dead horse and there was no way to go back and change anything. they did what they did #and i cant save them #and it shouldnt have ever been my job to Save Them #anyways #im so lonely #i only talk to my girlfriend now i dont have any friends rlly at all like i have friends but i dont call anyone i dont message anyone daily #i dont lean on anyone when things are hard #why did i let it get to this point

#horse #getting into rdr2 made me more horse brained

do you think this is how normal friends react when i tell them im upset that my mom is texting me invasive questions about my rapist on the anniversary of my dads death

#‘have you asked her not to do that’#then turned around and said theyve never played devils advocate or sympathized with my mom . fuck all the way off

i had posted a screenshot of the last message i sent them but i deleted it because thats just petty but the energy still stands, fuck them. weird ass sexual predator

ains-art

Trusted

bambiposts

new sona

does anyone have recs for foods that are calorie dense and nutritious and easy. i have had trouble eating and have made myself stick to eating *at least* 1k cals a day but what ends up happening is i just eat a bunch of ice cream or oatmeal cream pies at like 11 cause i panic and realize i havent met my goal yet. ive tried microwave meals but theyre all like 600 calories and they end up being the only thing i eat that day

#txt

i turned into a dog in minecraft

#txt #im gonna start trying to post more like everything is okay #and then things will br okay

lena-oleanderson

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

the worst part of getting sober is facing all the embarrassing or unkind things i did like 1-3 years ago like sorry no consequences please just forget i existed thanks

#people i cut off or started fights with because i ???#i ???#last year i was trying to get sober snd was in withdrawal and mean and convinced myself i hated everyone #and cut off. so many people #and then didn’t even stay sober ??#its hard having such. back and forth mental illness #where my level of functioning/acting Normal will be absolutely abysmal for like 6 months and then i wake up like haha sorry about that guys #ugly crying every day and drinking every day and existing in a benadryl induced haze #and then suddenly being aware that im a piece of shit and getting up after like. months of that #head in hands #txt

i love drawing my girlfriend covered in blood

lakevida

a lot of life can be persevered thru by secretly playing pretend in your mind the whole time

drippindragon

this is my house! well, it's me and @landsknechtposs 's house. id never really tried building before this but i think it turned out cute.

drippindragon

these are the stables! i think they turned out especially cute. theres the regular side and the undead side, where Jimbo (the skeleton) lives. my happy ghast, Cumsock, usually floats around here if its not tethered up.

drippindragon

this is my brewing tower! if you see random grass blocks its from enderman trolling me. this build was a nightmare to freestyle it took me so long.

drippindragon

next to the brewing tower and the stables is the dog house. trying to get some striped dogs too but the mesa biome is so far away.

drippindragon

this is the village we built. i think it turned out really cute. pillagers keep spawning and shooting them over the fence though.

right outside the village is the map of the mountain and the place we put all our extra gear for ppl to take. on the top left of the map you can see where @bambiposts lives <3

over this way is the sniffer and turtle enclosure. the sniffers names are Petal and Floret. theyre not stuck they just like it over there. the turtles are Bowser and Koopa.