PAYAL

[bananapayal21]

i'm coming back online

i'm coming to

i'm coming back to life

i'm coming too

[bananapayal21]

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

- Sarah Williams

[bananapayal21]

“You know a moment is important when it is making your mind go numb with beauty.”

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[bananapayal21]

“Sir, I admit your general rule, that every poet is a fool. But you yourself may prove to show it, every fool is not a poet.”

- Alexander Pope

[bananapayal21]

[bananapayal21]

[bananapayal21]

telephone

nothing matters,

or is real.

so go ahead, baby,

just be here!!!!

everything is love,

everything is flow

and now that I know,

just let go?

hang up, Payal.

pass it on, Payal!!!!

every little thing is love.

[acocktailmoment]

"The Making of the Perfect Martini"

By Guy Buffet

[bananapayal21]

amor fati

of course it’s all ruins.

of course it’s all sewage.

it always has been,

ask around.

our hearts keep beating!

and what a lovely seating!

red wine on my lips,

and i’m just so proud.

I love how it all tastes,

toasting to our fates,

you know, the earth twirls always,

when we’re not around.

should I add more to this table?

start a new fable?

they say it’s burning outside,

but we can’t hear a sound.

there’s jupiter blinking,

they said during my binge thinking.

two uncles from nasa,

lit a spark newfound.

now we drive at night to the desert,

to look up at the twinkling,

timelines linking,

cosmos wrinkling,

pretty lights winking,

to which we are bound.

[bananapayal21]

Idealist

romantics of the world

get their hearts broken the most

got it,

message received.

all things considered,

my way's still better.

you don't know yet,

that you'll never break me.

I'll make jokes from my deathbed,

sure the magic's in my head,

but I'll always be free,

because I'd always rather be me.

[bananapayal21]

You’ll know it when you see it ♥️

[bananapayal21]

Whereabouts

Everyone I love is sad

Everyone I respect’s gone mad

I’m getting a little too bold

Never had so much fun

getting so old

--

Baby I look so good in this light

Darling I’m so funny tonight

Wish it could always be as bright

as under the boteco lights

--

I said, do you like this job?

He said, my lifetime's dream

We're the luckiest in the world

We're bursting at the seams

--

So we all split the bottle

I said she should save

Life's happening now, she said

This is what we crave

--

And in my head,

I win every case

Who could say no to this face

The defense rests,

I'm still the best

I don't need my saving grace

--

But then there’s you

at the end of the night

Laughter’s died

Three girls have cried

Bar’s closed

Let’s walk home

I couldn’t mess it up if I tried

[bananapayal21]

[bananapayal21]

Weird

Callouses on my fingers

from sanding down my edges,

and it hurt to hold on

to the edge of the pool.

My legs ached

from treading water,

so the other day,

I let go.

–

I know,

I know,

let’s see how deep this thing goes,

I said as i sank

and I sank

and sank,

water rushing in,

tugging at my ankles,

and I let the sun go.

in the deepest deep,

gallons and gallons,

over my head,

what do you know?

I took a breath.

–

you can be strong, I guess,

withstand the wave,

thrash and splash,

let its violence crash.

You’re not curious?

We’ll all die anyway,

and never come back this way,

So dive?

Be soft?

What’s under there?

Do you want to know?

[bananapayal21]

Chicken dinner

i mentioned that lamp once honey, isn’t it so cute now it sits on our countertop beside a bowl of fresh fruit

--

i root for people, always it’s just what i do. they've cut me from teams for helping the other guys win too.

--

so maybe i’m just leaping? are my glasses rose too? or did i hit the jackpot when i found you?

--

and the girls all complain, see what my husband didn’t do? men are trash, they say isn’t that so true?

--

i sit there and nod, but i can’t relate. you’d bend the highway if it was making me late.

--

if my legs fall asleep, you carry me to bed, if my mind won’t wake up, you pluck the words from my head

--

and when the sirens blare to the beat of my heart when the room fills with smoke, and when i’m all apart,

--

there’s that little thing you wrote me, on my coffee cup, there’s that sweet thing you saved me, that joke we made up.

--

turns out, all i want in our numbered days, are these infinite moments of miracles mundane

[bananapayal21]

Cloaks

I opened to the door to Grief,

and he had come to gloat.

I looked him in the eyes and said,

"Can I take your coat?"

--

But Grief stormed in, still cloaked.

He tore my couch, and stained my chairs.

Grief seeped into holes in my carpet,

that I didn't know were there.

--

For weeks, I let Grief take over,

and he let all my flowers die.

He filled my home with tar and smoke,

painted war zones in my sky.

--

When I finally had enough of Grief,

I ripped his shirt, messed up his hair,

I tore his coat to bits and found,

Love was hiding under there.

--

So I let Love become my roommate,

a stray cat that was sometimes mine

and he sometimes scratched,

and sometimes purred,

sometimes showed me it'd be fine.

--

Now, when I see Grief in the wild,

pretending he's Anger, acting like Hate,

I try my best to hug him,

pour him coffee,

make him late.

[bananapayal21]

everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are right now. we’ll never be here again. - homer, the iliad