Bane & Rum Cake

the offbeat disposition of a misplaced actuality.

[baneandrumcake]

[baneandrumcake]

Georgia Rule

So Etsy is arguably the most genius idea that exists right now according to a study that I made up for this post. Pretty much anything you can imagine is on there, and what’s so neat about it is that it’s an excellent hub for any and all vintage oddities. Naturally, I’ve used the platform to decorate the gypsy meth den I call home, but literally anything can be found there, even clothing.

I’m from Wisconsin, and I plan to head back there for the upcoming holidays, so I thought what better way to prepare for the frigid air than to buy a nice, durable sweater that I cannot afford? Among the $2,000 worth of merch I keep in my shopping cart at any given moment, I sifted through it to find the perfect sweater...and I did! Present-day me was very pleased with past me’s logic to save such a great find. So, of course I ordered it immediately. And something I’ve found to be very helpful on Etsy is that you should always look at the seller information, specifically where they’re shipping from. A lot of items on Etsy are international, which is wonderful, but they can take longer to ship.

Back to the sweater: I noticed it’s coming from Georgia, which pleased me because I wanted to have enough time to try it on 6 times a minute before packing it for the cheese capital. So...item shipped...and I waited...and waited...and waited. Now, I’m used to waiting. I waited an entire year for one of my eyebrows to grow back in after a hasty waxing affair, but okay enough’s enough. I decided to log in to my Etsy account and check the shipping details. I scanned...and I scanned...and I scanned...and then it finally hit me...said sweater is shipping from Tbilisi, Georgia. Now I know you’re never gonna believe this, but there is, in fact, another Georgia outside of the United States, and that is where this bundle of fibers that I spent bundles of bills on is coming from. Clearly, I was sick that day in geography class, but had I not jumped on this item like Milton jumps on his Hills Prescription Chicken Stew (digestion i/d < excellent choice, keeps him very regular), I would’ve been able to resolve this. Needless to say, my sweater is stuck in customs and I’m stuck without my beautiful oversized handmade wool gradient jumper for Thanksgiving. Will I learn?

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Voodoo Doughnut at Universal City Walk has the most amazing little pastry rings. Here, we have the “Little Pink,” which is precious and necessary. Not to be crass, but among many, they have one on their online menu called the “Cock-N-Balls,” which I desperately searched for, but it’s apparent that they don’t have them at the kid-friendly theme park. Unfortunate, but I get it. Stop in and check them out!

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I was frequenting a little spot in Koreatown this afternoon, where I found the best kimchi fried rice I’ve ever had. Street Food of Seoul is one of my new favorite places, and lemme tell ya, I’ll be heading that way a lot in the near future. Not only is the food amazing, but the people are simply delightful. Definitely pay them a visit if you’re in the area, or get your butt over there because it’s worth the trek.

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Even a blind dog finds the sun

So Milton, my 3 lb. cataract-ridden senior chihuahua piglet, has a little trouble finding his way. He occasionally bumps into table legs, and spills his food bowl over at least twice a minute. Even a familiar environment can be troublesome, especially one filled with hundreds of trinkets and antique junk such as mine. The little man will initiate an amble walk from the living room to get a snack, and will bump into every object along the way. He seems to always make it to his destination without help, and although at times I intervene, the last thing I want to do is rob him of the shred of autonomy he has left. So, I let him explore. Something fascinating that I’ve noticed is that he always finds the tiny patch of sun that kisses the floor in the middle of the kitchen. This clumsy, miniature, sightless being finds his way to the warmth, without fail, and he will stop at nothing to get there.

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Originally bought this for the name because it’s friggen presh and majestic af, but it’s great. JUICE Served Here. Made in DTLA. You can shop cleanses or build your own online and in-store.

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Mistakenly Kidnapped

S: It was like Taken in reverse.

C: Given.

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Mustard Crush

When I was little I used to write the name of the boy I liked in mustard on my sandwiches hoping it would work out. Somehow it did.

I wonder if it would work again.

[baneandrumcake]

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The Funky Vintage Doughnut Affair

Hosting a donut party is great because when everyone goes straight for the tequila, you get to indulge.

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A Boy Brand

When you’re named Stevie, you’re awarded the opportunity to meander through your life with incredible ease, knowing that you will be misaddressed by every being you encounter. Some might find it exhausting, annoying, or troublesome, but I think I’m lucky. My name is my best asset (aside from my hair, which is unmistakably half my personality). I get to, quite literally, be whoever I want to be. Yes, I’m able to take out my red pen and make corrections; provide others with the tools to improve, and strengthen the validity of their future addressing, but that’s not fun for me. I’d rather make things interesting.

The identities I’ve collected over the years are as follows:

Steve

Steven

Stefan

Stephanie

Stephie

Stedi

Setvé (an obvious win)

Phoebe

Frankie

Ricky

Richie

A boy brand like mine can make even the simplest task, such as ordering a cup of coffee, quite challenging. But who doesn’t enjoy a good challenge? I certainly do. So, I’m in the market for a good ‘coffee name.’ One that’ll really stand out, and is unlike the rest. To be a little bit more descriptive, I’m looking for a name to supply the Starbucks cashier with that not only he or she has difficulty hearing, but even more difficulty announcing when my venti chai no water is ready.

This had better be terrible.

[baneandrumcake]

[baneandrumcake]

Acquiescence

A: I don't want to do anything today. B: Neither do I.

I do. Today's actually very productive. Sometimes I just say things to agree. I feel that it's an “enterprise for the out-of-place.”

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a shrew in the shadows.

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Lightly, my darling.

Aldous Huxley

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly, child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling, on tiptoes and no luggage, not even a sponge bag, completely unencumbered.