dead end road

banks rainier. twenty six. gas station attendant @ pump you up. bradford transplant.

[banksrainier]

BASICS

FULL NAME: Banks Halen Rainier

NICKNAME(S): n/a

BIRTHDAY: July 3rd (Cancer)

AGE: 26

CURRENTLY: Bradford Springs, Colorado

BIRTHPLACE: Seattle, Washington

RELIGION: Agnostic

FAMILY:

MOTHER: Amira Rainier

FATHER: Scott Rainier

AUNT(S): tba

UNCLE(S): tba

SIBLING(S): two younger brothers (both back in Seattle)

COUSIN(S): Kenzie Vaisman, tba

PET(S): Huck, a border heeler mix that he ‘adopted’ a little over a year ago

APPEARANCE:

HEIGHT: 6′1″; athletic build

HAIR: black ; cut short

TATTOOS: one on his chest that he got himself before he turned eighteen, one on his right forearm, and another along his collarbone that goes slightly up the side of his neck.

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: he has quite a few scars littered across his body

STYLE:

pure grunge x hand-me-downs. a lot of his clothes were leftovers when his father moved out because he doesn’t have the time or the money to buy himself new things. work boots and flannel. he is lucky if he can make it a week without wearing the same thing twice unless it’s ruined or dirty beyond repair (but even then, he’s probably stuck with it for another few weeks/months).

wears a chain around his neck that he keeps hidden under his shirt. it contains an item that his mother gave him when he was younger.

an old set of drumsticks that he keeps in his backpack even though he had to sell his set to cover the cost of lawyers; he has a tendency to still play on whatever surface he can when he is bored or needs to do something with his hands

ABOUT:

tw: abandonment, violence, blood

He was born in Seattle, Washington to a couple that weren’t ready to have a kid, let alone end up with three by the time that Banks father left home. Banks was nine at the time and he learned by the age of fifteen that their father had another family on the other side of the city. He’d essentially traded up in life and left behind everyone else.

Banks took over taking care of his younger brothers, both too young to know what was going on at the time and as he got older, he was able to pick up odd jobs around town from people that were willing to pay under the table.

He had a lot of anger issues that went unchecked for too many years and without a proper outlet, only built on top of the resentment that he felt towards his father as well as others that had a much easier life. The only thing that seemed to keep him toeing the line was drumming; giving everything that he had to give into the love for the drums.

School was an afterthought. Fighting, truancy, detention, and community service took up the bulk of his childhood and teenage years until he somehow got one moment of right place at the right time and found a band looking for a drummer. It was too good to be true, something that he’d quickly realize but for once in his life; Banks was close to feeling happiness for the first time in years.

The band was his livelihood, barely graduating to make his mom happy and set somewhat of an okay example for his younger brothers but the band was where he was able to truly put everything out there on display without any of the blood and bruises that he would carry home with him after getting into yet another fight.

It wasn’t until after a show at a down town night club where everything went sideways again. He started to get into it with a guy on the sidewalk outside of the club, barely able to keep his hands to himself when the other wanted the fight as bad as he did. When River stepped in between them, the other guy took a chance to make River regret that choice (and Banks as well) as they put their hands on them. Banks saw red, the other guy saw the hospital and all he heard for months was how lucky that the other guy survived.

He plead guilty to the aggravated assault and was sent away for the next few years without any word on what happened to anyone else outside of his family. Banks tried to make peace with himself but it rarely worked but instead continued to feed the anger under his skin. By the time that he got out, everything was different but his family seemed worse for wear by the debt that he’d collected while being gone.

A few places would give him some work, back to being paid under the table again, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from finding the fights and being in the middle of it always. Again his mom would catch him slipping in in the middle of the night with blood all over his clothes and knuckles but a wad of cash on the dining room table in the morning. 

Her worry is what sent him packing to Bradford Springs to crash with his cousin in hopes that he might get away from the fighting and the rage that seemed to live inside him (therapy was a joke). Banks works the graveyard shift at the local gas station and sends back whatever he can to his mom and brothers.

[wtfmalhgo]

I just saw a kid yell ‘fuck off’ at the top of his lungs and then his phone started ringing so he picked it up like 2 fucking milliseconds after it started ringing and said “hi mama” in the softest god damn voice I’ve ever heard

[banksrainier]

theakazansky​:

where ; any place you can buy hardware items

for ; anyone

Wood glue…seemingly a simple item yet Thea didn’t have it in her inventory at the loft. It wasn’t as if she thought she’d need it on hand, but alas the bookcases she was building needed some to strength them. So after answering a fleet of phone calls from the New York office, she headed to the store for the needed items on her list. Wood glue, smaller Philips screwdriver, larger flathead screwdriver and —for some reason she’d manage to lose her last pencil— so that made her list. At the moment she was rocking on the balls of her feet in an aisle, glancing over the various things until… “Ah hah!” She triumphantly exclaimed, reaching for the glue bottle. Thea glanced to her left at the other person in the aisle, shifting the items in her grasp. Why did she forget to grab a basket in the front? “Excuse me! You wouldn’t happen to know what aisle the pencils are in, would you?”

—  

There was plenty of time for him to fix shit around Kenzie’s place, especially since sleep wasn’t something that he got a lot of as he barely made it to the store in one piece rather than giving up and taking a nap in the nearest ditch. That might have been an exaggeration, but Banks hadn’t had a decent night of sleep in a few weeks as he walked around like a zombie in the store with a mental list of items that he needed to fix one of the windows that had been stuck closed for far longer than he’d been in town. It was something that he could do to give back to the people that’d taken him and given him a second chance. And it didn’t seem to be too hard or expensive as he grabbed a few items and shuffled into another aisle when someone spoke up to him. “Do I look like I work here?” It was a knee jerk reaction, exhaustion making him sound rougher than he felt even as he rubbed at his face to wake up a bit so that he could finish remembering all that he needed. “Shit, I don’t know. I don’t know where anything is or else I would have been out of here already.”

[banksrainier]

DEL

@banksrainier​ at: the ghost town​

-

Half of the staff preferred to get loaded than actually turn up for their even later shifts. Del couldn’t blame them but she didn’t have the most hands on approach to tour guiding. Del told the harrowing tale of Abigail, a working gal who turned on the saloon one night and shot everyone to their deaths before being captured and dragged through the streets on horseback until she died a slow and painful death and that her mangled spirit appears sometimes. One of Del’s personal favourites but soon after, they dipped and left the group to explore on their own. Mostly so they could eat. It wasn’t a peaceful break in the staff room, not only did Del have to rearrange the seats to get to the microwave the damn thing exploded the spaghetti meatballs all over them. Although, they never thought about how everything sounded from the outside. The chairs dragging along the floor, much like a body. The faint pop of a microwave meal, like a gunshot. Del’s groans and mutters of “This entire fucking town can go to hell.” sounding garbled and seething. The splatter of spaghetti sauce like a trail of blood. Eventually, they emerged to ensure the guests hadn’t caused problems but walked achingly slowly down the corridor while wrapped in a blanket (Hoping the guests would take a hint and just want to leave.) Del kicked open the door, just in time for a gust of wind to take their blanket into the air behind them. “What are you doing back here?” they asked menacingly, flapping their arms through the material before lowering it from their face.

—

The ghost town sounded like a joke, or something that was there solely to take in tourists and spit them back out again with significantly less money than when they started. There’d been ghost tours and ghost buses back home, each run by people that only cared about swindling people rather than actually believe that there could be any ghosts on the damn tour. He’d seen too many people come through and say they thought they saw something, especially this time of year as he stood at the entrance to the local one that he’d been dragged to earlier in the night. 

He couldn’t tell if those that he’d come with believed, or if it was meant to be a bonding activity so they could all say they’d seen something together or nothing at all. But Banks was straight up not having a good time. It was easy enough to walk away and let them take one of the few tours that were available, seeing that there wasn’t many people that seemed to working at all as he started to wander through the town by himself. Banks blinked when the door swung open, a ghastly figure standing there that looked every bit like he’d imagine was supposed to haunt this place. “Taking a self guided tour, what does it look like?” Not that there was anyone else around, it was a quite literal ghost town as he stared at the other who might have been able to spook everyone else in his party if they’d been there with him. “You’re short a few ghosts.” 

[banksrainier]

FOX

-

This was Hell. Literal Hell. He didn’t even know why Banks was so adamant on this weird little interaction. Fox practically curled his hands towards himself and let out a meek groan.  “Banks, seriously.” he sighed, already feeling guilty for even having fists raised at his dear friend in the first place. “This feels all wrong, you’re a baby.” he added, glancing Banks up and down quickly. “A really tall baby. When did that happen? My God, is this what parents feel like when their kid grows up?” he frowned, a sudden urge to call his mother back in New Orleans. He glanced around for his phone quickly. Ah, too far away. Later, he would. Looking back to Banks, he shook his head. “You cannot sweeten the deal with a movie, Banks. This is literally…it literally goes against evolution. I want to hug, not punch.”

—

           “It happened...,” he spoke up quickly before his voice immediately trailed off into nothing when he considered where he’d done the most growth in the past few years. It wasn’t something that he wanted to think about or even bring up, feeling that he was already on thin ice with those that used to be his family and if he told them the whole story — they’d look at him differently than they already did. He could tell that dots didn’t connect for any of them, but it was something that he couldn’t bring himself to talk about or even touch on when the past few years were nothing but a mystery for them. “Shit happens.” He shrugged then, giving up the ghost when it came to getting Fox to do anything close to taking a swing at him even though he knew that he deserved to take the hit to the chin and it might help things in his own head. But he could see why the other would hesitate without any explanation as to why Banks wanted them to hit him — he muttered under his breath with a shake of his head. “Is that what you’re gonna do when someone comes at you? Hug them to death? Kill them with kindness.” Banks shook his head. It didn’t work. “What if it’s a special edition movie? Hours of sitting together.” He shrugged. “What are you feelings on it then?”

[banksrainier]

DIEGO

It seemed like the never ending story for Dee. That he got up early and went to work everyday and was there most of the day. During the early mornings hours into when it started to get dark. He did normally just work at the tram way fixing things and up keep. That he did enjoy doing he loved to work with his hands. But sometimes he take odd jobs in town fixing things and yard work. Him trying to save up to fix up his trailer. To one day make it nice enough for someone to want to buy it and live in it so he could get himself a real home. 

So he was tired each day but it was going to be worth it. He didn’t want to take forever to do what he had planned. The town wasn’t always the best for work, it was small so work was limited. At times he thought he wanted to into the near by bigger cities but his car wasn’t the best too. 

He sighed as he looked at the time it wasn’t to late so he had time to call up his friend to hangout. Banks he had met soon after he arrived in town. Not used to being out in the world again he found a group that was supposed to help that Dee did try and go too.  But today he had long one so he went to the stop and grabbed a pack of beers and called up Banks to hangout and talk or just sit he really didn’t care much.

It wasn’t to late out so the light was still out but he had some old beach folding chairs outside his trailer and lights outside so even if it got dark they could see, he had the drinks cooling in the ice chest that was sat by the two chairs.

@banksrainier​

—

It was rare that Banks didn’t have to work the graveyard shift down at the gas station, seeing as there wasn’t anyone in town that wanted the shit hours that he took willingly. He didn’t have much of a choice these days, despite there being plenty of opportunity for others that didn’t have the rap sheet or the parole officer that was following him everywhere that he ended up frequenting to check in on him. Still, it was better than nothing as he checked his phone to see the time and made his way slowly towards the trailer park where he knew that Dee was waiting for him with drinks. 

They’d met in group, which was part of the conditions that he’d been given in order to move to Bradford in the first place even if he hated being there and listening to everyone’s sob stories. He had yet to fully divulge his own reasons for being there, since they only tried to push him once, and he tightened up tighter than a bank vault after that. “I hope you got some good shit in that cooler,” he called out as he walked up on the other already sat out in the chairs that he could only figure were for the two of them. “Or else we’re gonna end up making a pit stop at work for something better than the piss water we had last time.”

[banksrainier]

[banksrainier]

imani-linh​:

-

Imani leaned on the counter and gleefully started scratching off her tickets. She liked the surprise of it. It was a little thrill for her and just a small joy she liked to partake in every now and then. And if she lost twenty dollars out of the couple hundred she had made that night, it was fine. “What kinda habits?” She said looking up at him curiously. Imani had her own bad habits she needed to break. Fortunately it was nothing too serious or dangerous for her. “Well that’s one hundred percent true.” She giggled knowing Kenzie would most likely be the candy thief. Opening her starburst she nodded and picked through them. Pulling out all the yellow ones. “Oohh a lemon boy. You can have them all. I like the pinks and reds only anyways.” She neatly arranged them in a pile in front of him. “I gotta ask… how you adjusting to Colorado? It’s not.. not as bad as it seems.” She said softly as she slid one card to the side. A winner. Five dollars. “If you ever just need some time to get out.. I can take you to some places. Show you around a little.”

—  

Habits that got him locked up for too many years as he stayed put with his elbows resting against the counter as he distractedly watched her scratch off the tickets one by one. “Shit ones. Ones that others want me to break which is part of the reason that I’m here and ones like smoking that’ll be the death of me if I’m lucky,” he spoke calmly, as if he hadn’t lost his entire world because of his temper and everyone in it. Only a few members of his family even talked to him anymore, which he couldn’t blame them as much as he hated most of them anyways. Kenzie had welcomed him in but he almost couldn’t believe it at times, despite how close of quarters they had to all squeeze into and left little to nothing up in the air about the validity of why they’d let him stay there. They at least believed in him, just like his mom, but it wasn’t something that he was particularly comfortable with yet. He glanced at the growing pile of yellows, not sure what made him say that or if he’d even be able to eat one while she was there but he let them stack up and picked up one to add to the top of the pile. “I’ve been here a time or two before, but never outside of the summer.” He shrugged. “It’s nothing like Seattle.” That was a good and bad thing. “Yeah, Kenzie’s mentioned that I could use with getting out more but — I don’t know.” He hadn’t taken her up on the offer yet, or anyone for that matter.

[banksrainier]

beckymorrisxn​:

.

“You say ‘wanted’, past tense. There’s a future coming for you - for anyone at that matter - and you are sure that you want to be doing this for your future as well?” It was hard to imagine that someone wanted to do this, with these hours at least. But Becky could be completely wrong about that, everyone liked different things in life. “Nice to meet you, Banks.” She looked at the items that she had purchased, her gaze stopping at the bag of sweets that she had gotten. For a moment she hesitated, but then she pulled the bag towards her and opened it, holding it open to the person behind the counter to offer him some of the candy. “You must have had dreams of what you wanted to do?”

—  

Banks shrugged, because he hadn’t wanted this job even in the present but it was the only one that gave him even a chance at getting work again. There were too many that wouldn’t even give him a second look once they saw his record, afraid that he’d let his temper flare up again and he couldn’t blame them. “Nah, but the alternative was begging on the street for chump change. At least here I can stand inside rather than out in the cold for the same amount of money coming to me,” he spoke with a shrug, knowing that it was barely anything but it was better than nothing. He’d tried his hand at chasing his dreams and all he’d done was start a fight that ended that career and shipped him off for too many years to be able to come back from completely. He glanced at the opened bag of candy as he shook his head. “Yeah, sure. Once.”

[banksrainier]

viviann-art​:

~

Viv looked out to her car and shook her head, “no… I got it. Thank you though.” She smiled, her cheeks growing red at the question and she gently drummed her fingers against the counter, “Yeah… yeah, a movie night.” She sad before digging out thirty dollars from her wallet, “you can keep the change.” She smiled, feeling a bit awkward in the silence before she had to do something with it. “What kind of movies do you like? I’ma.. I’ve been doing a halloween movie marathon but I don’t have the guts for anything scary.” She smiled knowing she had turned it into more of a Disney and Tim Burton marathon than anything. He looked like he probably liked scary movies though and maybe he could give her some recommendations to ones that weren’t completely scary but weren’t animated either.

—  

He nodded, knowing that despite the fact that it was self service there were still people that came in thinking that it was his job to pump the gas for them. If they tipped, then he didn’t have a reason to complain or not do it but it was the pushy ones that expected him to do everything that got under his skin and were going to be the reason that he didn’t last long at this job. “Okay,” he spoke again as he took the cash and arched a brow at the other before he put the money away and knew that he’d have to cash out later that night. “I... I don’t know. I don’t really like movies that much.” Not to mention that he spent so much time without a television that he hadn’t gotten back into the habit of sitting in front of one for an extended period of time yet. “They’re all fake anyways, even the ones that are supposed to be scary — all they really are anymore are jump scares and cash grabs.”

[banksrainier]

celestextorres​:

~

“…you’d hate me in the middle of the day then…” Celeste commented with a small shrug. “Although I don’t think that I’m complaining all the time. I can be quite a delight, honestly.” She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Well, what about if someone buys you something? Then it can’t be taken out of your paycheck, right? It was already paid for!” 

—  

             “If you’re a delight, then I’m fucking giddy,” he replied, though he was sure that he had spent plenty of hours in the day complaining about all the shit that was going wrong with him. And how all of it was his own damn fault as he shook his head. “You’re fine, alright? Shit. It’s not even the worst kinds of complaints that I’ve had since working here. Some people just want to complain to hear themselves talk.” It was part of the reason that he preferred to let them run out of steam rather than engage, most of the time, but he’d found himself caught in doing the exact opposite right now. “Yeah that’d work but no one in their right mind is gonna buy me something.”

[banksrainier]

fox-lennox​:

@banksrainier​ at: the apartment of abundance, downtown -​

“I can’t do it.” Fox’s voice was filled with defeat and a tiny hint of frustration, like when you get the feeling of wanting to squeeze something that’s so cute. Despite Banks residing at a taller level than him, Fox cannot ever unsee the young’un that they welcomed into their lives in Seattle.  “Man, please can we just watch a movie. That’s what normal people do, you know that right?” Fox’s ringed fists are at the ready but absolutely no anger behind them whatsoever. Just floating around like little butterflies. “I hate this. I hate this so much. I don’t care if you won’t feel it.” Fox ended up laughing, hands lowering and he shook his head with a bounce of curls. “Let’s just say, we did it and cool, you were right. Couldn’t feel a thing. I’ll back you up and everything, tell everyone I punched you.”

—

Banks shook his head when the other backed down again, unable to even take a single swing at him even though he was leaving himself wide open for the hit. He wasn’t even going to put up his hands. “Come on, one fucking swing is all I’m asking for here,” he spoke again, trying to get the other to follow through with the random thought that hit his brain. Part of him wanted the other to hit him, for reasons that he wasn’t up to explaining to either one of them, and the other part wanted to see if Fox could do it at all. 

            “We can watch a movie after you punch me and I’ll even let you pick the movie.” Maybe that would get the other to pick his fists again rather than seeing the defeated look on both of them despite Fox’s laughter. “It can be any movie you want,” he added, thinking that might be enough to push the other over the edge into one swing. 

[banksrainier]

brightonnature​:

He chuckled lightly for a moment as he looked at the others. He had done many odd jobs over the years. The ones when you work it alone, and never see the boss. Or the ones when it was just you and one other all day and that was it. He was wanting to hurry so the other could have his break but did need to get what he came in for.  He shook his his head “that’s crazy to me but I do get it too, it’s not busy around here to need two of you all day” but was hard that he had to eat and use the bathroom when he hoped no one would come. “I know what you mean I’ve done some 24 hour shifts before” he nodded and paid for what he wanted. “Take a break man I got this, people can wait if they come in” he looked outside not seeing a soul around so he felt like it would be okay. “Everyone needs a break” and it was laws too he was sure people did need one but he wasn’t going to bring that up. “do you need anything?” he asked wondering if he needed food or something if he was allowed to buy and or take things from the shop. 

—

He’d been told from the start that there would be two on shift at all times, so that they could get work done without having to be stretched over every part without any help but it had been a bald faced lie. There wasn’t enough need for two people the entire time but there were long stretches when Banks was ready to simply walk out rather than stay there any longer when the shifts just wouldn’t end. “Not this time of night. I’m lucky if I see half a dozen people after six hours or so that I could lock this place up for an hour or two and no one would even know.” But knowing his luck, someone would show up right when he went to go lock the door just like right now as he glanced at the other. “Fuck, I’d rather take a bullet to the head than work a 24 hour shift here.” As much as he might have been joking, some part of him would rather be done with this life and move onto the next than have to stay put here for longer than the usual shift. “Just a fucking smoke. And a new job,” he added the second part with a mutter as he moved around once he’d finished cashing out the other’s items and grabbed the pack from his pocket. “You want one?”

[banksrainier]

riverpatel​:

location: the broom closet (open mic night) availability: closed || @banksrainier​

Ever since they saw Banks that night at the gas station River had been trying to figure out what happened to Banks to dull their aura. It was obvious it had something to do with the night he got arrested. Which only proved to make River feel like they were responsible in some way. Just another thing to add to the list of reasons they ought to stop letting people get close to them. However, they’d exchanged numbers and River had been sure to text often. Stop by the station at night for snacks and to say hello. They invited him to the open mic night early so he could get the night off work. But there was no saying whether or not he would show. Between being in almost a constant state of borderline withdrawal and the most volatile mental state they’d been in since Seattle, they were sure he wouldn’t because who would want to be around them.

Imagine then, their utter surprise and overwhelming induction of dopamine when he walked through the door of the broom closet. “Banks!” They shouted, interrupting an acoustic song being played on the small stage. River grimaced and held up a hand of apology to the performer while they pranced over to their friend. “I’m so fucking happy to see you, baby, blessed be.” About to burst they wrapped their arms tight around him tightly. After a moment they pulled away and placed a quick peck of a kiss on his cheek. “Did you find the place okay? You have to come up to the apartment after. You’ll freak, it’s three times bigger than the place we had in Seattle.” Which wasn’t hard considering it had been a glorified bedroom for the most part. River grabbed his hand and led him over to where everyone else was sitting while they talked.

—

He’d debated for days on end about whether or not to go to the open mic night as he stared at the number of texts that came through his phone and how many of them went unanswered. Too many were one word responses, struggling to find the right words to say all the things that he felt but were too afraid to be said out loud. Underneath everything he was afraid that if he spoke on what happened, that they wouldn’t want to see him anymore or even talk to him again. It was something that he couldn’t handle even as he felt that eventually they’d stop texting when they realized that something was wrong with him. 

But he’d asked for the night off, giving the shift to someone else that needed the money that he desperately clung to and sent back home every chance that he got. While he might not call home as much as he should, at least they were benefitting from his absence. He stepped through the door, hearing the bell above announce his entrance and not give him any time to adjust to the sudden change in atmosphere. Not to mention that he’d barely entered before River was there, bombarding him with all the love that he didn’t feel like he deserved anymore but missed beyond words as the other embraced and kissed his cheek. He couldn’t reciprocate quite as much as he might have when he was a kid in their eyes but did his best to smile through the indecision. “Yeah, yeah. I wasn’t too hard to find considering how many people on the street I passed that’re talking about the open mic thing,” he spoke after a beat, having known where it was but hadn’t made it there yet.

Some part of him was still reluctant to jump back into the swing of things that had been some of the best years of his life because he couldn’t connect who he had been with who he was now. “That’s, uh great. Yeah, you’ll have to show me around later when you’re not busy.”

[banksrainier]

kenzievaisman​:

★・・・・・・★  

                           Family was everything to Kenzie, even when she tried to make a go of it alone in Arizona and failed miserably. Phone calls with home were the only thing keeping her going, which was probably why she thought Banks would be jumping at the chance to call his home. His true home, which Kenzie wished she could copy and paste into the tiny southside house so he felt comfortable. “You got nothing to be sorry for, Banks. I mean that.” the line was delivered casually, followed by a small smile. The idea of Banks feeling out of sorts was not surprising but it still made her heart hurt, she wished she could wave a magic wand and help him settle. He was always going to have a place to call home, even if it was squeezed tight full of people.

Kenzie laughed as she plated up the food for them both, Koda’s attention moving to a few stray toys across the kitchen floor which Kenzie had to step over both child and game as she moved. “Sometimes you don’t have to say anything, it’s just good to hear their voice. Talk about some tv show or weird story on the news, or the weather. Family love that shit, for some reason.” she laughed, finishing up the plates and delivering them to the small table. “Eggs and bacon because we’re fancy, obviously.” she commented with a raised brow and a laugh. “Don’t work yourself into the ground either, we can figure it out. I just picked up a cleaning gig, so I can help out a little now. We’ll struggle together and then hopefully become millionaires, that’s how it’s supposed to work right?” she joked quietly. As she took a mouthful, another thought crossed her mind and Kenzie made a quick noise. “You been making friends yet? The nightlife here isn’t too bad. Maybe I can take you out and get you drunk, that’s a good alternative when things feel shitty, right?”

—

He had plenty to be sorry about and being here only imposed on what little family that he had left, all because he couldn’t handle his shit when he got out of jail back home. He’d been shipped off in hopes that he’d find a way to steer clear of all the problems that he continually stirred up back home, but he let it fall silent between them when they made their way to the small kitchen. It reminded him back home, stepping around Koda and the toys on the floor as he headed towards the table in the room when Kenzie made them plates. He usually missed breakfast, choosing to grab something on the go so that he didn’t add to the too many people in a small space — keeping a distance between him and everyone else, even though it only made him more homesick than he was willing to disclose. 

         “I just don’t wanna tell her that I haven’t done anything since I got here,” he spoke up after a beat, reminding himself out loud how he hadn’t done anything with this second chance yet. It meant that he was sure to hear the disappointment in her voice when he called back as well as the way that he was missing his brothers. “Shit, it’s better than what I’d feed myself if I were on my own. Actually it is better than what I do feed myself.” Not to mention the amount of money that he wasted on shit at the gas station because he was never prepared for the graveyard shift even after a week or so on the job. He wasn’t too sure that he’d ever get right with it. “Yeah, that’s exactly the paths were on — to becoming millionaires by taking all the jobs that no one else wants to do and then raising our prices so they have no option other than to pay us.” It felt like a joke. He took a bit of his own food. “Uh, not really. I met a few people that I knew once which was fucking weird. I’ve also been told that I have a fuck off kind of look on my face every time that I talk to someone.” Banks paused with his fork stabbed into the food on his plate as he glanced over at Kenzie. “You’re not wrong.”

[fairydrowning]

"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break."

-Marya Hornbacher, Wasted

[fairydrowning]

"I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn't know what to do."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, More Than Just A House

[banksrainier]

imani-linh​:

-

She watched as he handed her just two of the scratch off tickets. Looking at the register she double checked the total. She wasn’t going to correct him on the mistake. She wanted twenty, but maybe it was a sign she should just get two. She felt the tiniest bit embarrassed as her nails caused her to fumble around with the money for a second. “You look cuter in person.” Imani offered as a compliment. Imani was sure to see more of him, especially since she found herself staying with Kenzie a few times just for fun. 

“I lived with her not long ago.. do yourself a favor.. hide your favorite snacks under your bed.” She teased as she looked around as he questioned her scratching the tickets right there. “Yeah. That way I can redeem it if I win… you want to do one?” Imani wiggled one of the papers in the air playfully. As she started scratching she paused and looked up at him. “You want some of my starbursts?” He seemed like he might need a little sweetness. 

—  

As Banks counted out the ones that had been passed over, he noticed the mistake that he’d made moments earlier and cursed under his breath. The long nights and no sleep days were catching up to him in the worst ways as he shook his head and reached back to grab the rest of what she’d initially bought and slid them over without a word. It would be his fault to screw shit up this early into his shift, which meant that the rest of it spelled out nothing but trouble as he considered a red bull later to help him stay awake. “Uh, thanks? I think.” Or he looked terrible in whatever photograph they had lying around back at the house and he didn’t at least seem that bad in person even as he hunched his back to watch her scratch one of the tickets.

             “Nah, I’m good. I have enough habits that’re bad for me that I’m only asking for trouble if I invite another one in,” he commented as he glanced at the other tickets before back up at her again. Not sure if he should try to explain that it was only a bad habit to him, not others — but he simply kept his mouth shut. It was one of the few things that he might have been good at, even if it didn’t amount to much more than a graveyard shift in the middle of nowhere, Colorado. “If I hide anything under the bed, it’s not gonna be there the next night. Between her and Koda, there’s no such thing as privacy.” Though it was exactly what made him feel like he was back home where everyone was practically on top of each other all the time. Banks made a small face. “You got a yellow one?”