Way Too Literal

{Jen} {19} {Most likely to destroy enemies with superior technology.} Fandoms: Agents of Shield/ Marvel/ The 100/ Doctor Who/ Sherlock/ Orphan Black/ Harry Potter/ Divergent/ Hunger Games/ Maze Runner/ Star Wars/ Disney/ Mortal Instrument

[mommabearclarke]

Best guess…I forgot to account for the excess oxygen I’ve been exhaling when I did my calculations. Because I’m stupid.

[queendaenerys]

[wizardcharms-blog-deactivated20]

cause you’re harry potter, that’s all the fuck you do. 

#book one: you thought snape wanted to kill you and you went looking for him #book two: you went into the chamber of secrets to find tom riddle aka lord voldemort—the president of the people who want to kill harry potter club #book three: you went looking for sirius even though you thought he was an escaped murderer who wanted to kill you to complete the potter pack #book four: the entire triwizard tournament even though you didn’t voluntarily enter but you were in it all the same because someone who wanted you dead put your name in the goblet of fiyah #book five: where you angsted because people didn’t understand your longing to go after voldemort and then you did and sirius died #book six: where you prepared yourself for going after voldemort (again the president of that famous club where all the members wanted you dead) and dumbledore ended up dead #book seven: the prolonged camping trip that all built up to you going after voldemort. who wanted you dead #harry your entire life is spent looking for people who want you dead look at your life look at your choices 

the tag

[magnass]

[agentprincessmechanic]

the sorting hat: you can go in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, which do you want?

me: which will make people trust me unquestioningly?

the sorting hat: the answer is Ravenclaw but because you asked that way you're going in Slytherin

me: that's fair.

[amnesiaguy]

how disappointed do u think steve was when he realized there was a president carter who wasn’t peggy

[doctorenterprise]

steve assuming every carter in a position of power is peggy and being 100% confused when it’s not is the best thing ever

[rachlovesligers]

ok but someone telling steve about the first female uk prime minister “it was margaret” - steve’s entire face lights up - “thatcher” his whole body slumps and he’s muttering about how “i really thought that one was gonna be peggy”

[koreanrage]

[deadpadfoot]

[bisonasaurus-blog]

you know what Harry that is an interesting piece of information don’t be an ass

[thewereshark-deactivated2025062]

Harry, your whole thing is playing a sport that involves flying around on gravity resistant sticks made from trees.  Did you ever stop to think Neville was telling you this cause he was being considerate of your interests?

[ridleydaisy]

[funharrypotter]

[emmawasright]

All I want is a buddy cop movie with Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan where they’re shits to each other.

Leslie Jones could be their Captain, Amy Poehler could be their questionable informant. John Cho as the good guy cop who always gets the glory, The Rock is his partner.

Both sets of partners are competing to catch the bad guy (George Clooney or Mark Hamill) to get a bonus week of vacation.

Soundtrack by Lin-Manuel Miranda

[just-shower-thoughts]

If combat in Harry Potter is based on saying spells quickly and at the right time, rappers would basically be the magical Navy SEALs.

[memewhore]

[dogzzilla]

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[dutchstore]

I am weak and I will not survive the winter. by Luke Berti

[vinesforall]

Viner: Brandon, ask me what kind of tree I have–

Brandon: (quietly) No.

Viner: Brandon, ask me what kind of tree I have.

Brandon: No.

Viner: Just–Brandon, ask me what kind of tree I have.

Brandon: What kind of tr–

Viner: It’s a Chris Pine.

[dashbeardconfessional]

GET THOSE LIGHTS OFF

[pomeranian2]

[imaginesharrypotter]

Harry Potter + Breaking News

Insp. (⚡)

[sistertaxon]

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

[larnax]

“so, how’d you die?” “I was promised a brownie by a fish”