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[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

panini related to actually my 1st crush in like 20 years uwu

i wanna cry (kinda)

cuz

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "20 People Who Live A Strange Life" on YouTube

16. what im sacred of. why i sacred of being myself reason .shelter

[konoko]

[konoko]

[throwingmenthols-deactivated202]

all debates abt the artistic merits of fanfiction fail to recognize the purpose of fic. you don’t write fic to be published or to learn how to construct a narrative although you can use it to develop style. you write it so that your friends will message you “bestie you’re utterly deranged for this one im eating dirt” 

[readerofthewilderwest]

#you know those ppl who are like ‘fanfic can be good to get started but it’s bad because then you never learn how to write your own from#scratch’ ? lmao#like imagine walking up to someone planting flowers and being like ‘that’s a START but ultimately it won’t teach you how to genetically#engineer your ideal fruit tree’#like. you have extrapolated a goal that was never implied here

tags courtesy of @the-knights-who-say-book

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

i am against this. triggered* And honestly i dont know.

i have found p*rn vid accidentally, on my parents co-workers pc, and watched it, at the spot, thier workplace, when i was Too little, (i dont remember how old i was, 11? or 12?) since then i was traumatized i remember the woman was in pain and doesn't enjoying it.. im gonna get sick. whenever i see men and women together just being together affectionate .. i cant continue to explain

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "TW-LOG @ 4th WORLD TOUR 'Ⅲ' ep.JEONGYEON" on YouTube

she needs to be herself, i mean accept her real self, i feel. (she's more Cool, and bold/with confidence -but in a very natural (in a good way)/moshigge puyoyou. not like i praising her bit i feel like i can be friends with her & feel at ease, when ill interact with her personally. i think thats whats so outstanding/cool ♡ about her. truly./ im not a stan or fan.) thats why. she may had some difficulties, i assume. from my perspective. different than other girls tend to try to fit in, i can see that from her about myself. ♡ i hope she doesn't try to mold her characteristics into a same mold as the other members. bcuz thats what looks like a limitations we try to shape ourselves just to fit in with the crowd/friends. i hope she realise & see this aspect of her, and own up/&grow more into her more cooler characteristics.. i feel tahts y it feels so natural about her, which attracts some of us and make us feel like were friedns with her! even tho we don't know her personally<3 (too tired to fix my errors. lol.)

[thoughtkick]

“You’re not a kid anymore. You have the right to choose your own life. You can start again. If you want a cat, all you have to do is choose a life in which you can have a cat. It’s simple. It’s your right.”

— Unknown

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

thank goodness it was not an energetical- bomb formed word attack on my existence. *phew* (which tends to happen..)

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "KPOP Idols Who Changed Korea's Law Forever" on YouTube

blacklisting is just Boldly Crossing Human rights! They have too much power over citizens. They dont have that Right to blacklist people Just bcuz they didn't want to contract. its just basic human rights being crosssed and The those agencies/companies r just Boldly crossing some of the bounderies they r not allowed to cross. People need to stop giving away their power to the companies to over power u.

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "The Nightmare Artist" on YouTube

this was triggering .. my deepest darkest something.. inside 😰💨💨 (a one pic. only)

i think what he drew is reality. is waht i agree with

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "Cardcaptor Sakura Opening 2 - Tobira Wo Akete 扉をあけて by ANZA" on YouTube

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "Dad cat beats up kitten and gets a kiss from mom at the end. Part 1." on YouTube

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "6 Lies From Childhood Trauma" on YouTube

4:16 omg i cant- watch ur videos. or digest in one go. *i paused &* i have avoidant personality, issues i wanna ignore till the end of my life, hopefully, and saying it all out is just.. feeling like opening my trueself to my self. and its scary and i hate it. idk

i dont wanna deal with this but i know its the right choice. but i cant- take it anymore

(right after writing this, i heard a noise,"Hmph!" /+'what a 'weak' kind if comment/ in a negative way, in my head. exactly at the right side of my head, ...)

//so clearly. in a subtle tone.

so shocked so i had included it here.

[bannedstuffthatpainsme]

Watch "Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love 竹内 まりや" on YouTube

it pains me, to listen to this song. or just hear the name of the song. or just knowing this song exists.. is just so pains me. i dont hate this song but i just cant bear the feeling it makes me feel. i hate these types of feelings.. it is so enormous than this earth and its just ..makes me wanna ..love humanity. while feeling the goodness i feel from it. but after it ends, im back to.. "hating" this feeling/song.. or wanting to run from it. and return back to the thought that this/these types of song never exists, so i can finally.. not be affected by this enormous/greater than this world, wanting to love all the humanity' and just care for them, is absent. idy..

i used to be so crushed by this feelings. i used to .. feel sO bigger than world.. good or bad way. it pained me, and i feel so ..crushed and powerless.. and defeated. etc. feeling hopeless. feeling emo maybe idk what that means no mo. (excuse me for the repeated.. words/ and expression, im not english.)

does anyone ever feel this way b4?

i can finally near at descriing it, and ask about it, and admit it..