always love hearing about how much damien loves the resident evil series 🥹 i really hope he gets his chance to show amanda and angela games soon it’s so overdue
(Closeted) aroace culture is when your parent is having that “when you have a husband one day” conversation and you accidentally say “I don’t want a husband” and now they think you’re a lesbian. (Nothing wrong w/ being a lesbian, it’s just that I don’t want anyone to assume that I’m something that I’m not)
You had healed Gojo when Shoko couldn't, and that stung more than anything
Warnings: mentions of sex, nothing explicit, one sided love, unrequited, arranged marriage, Shoko POV
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Nonchalant!Shoko! Who meets Gojo and Geto in her first year and promptly decides that the two are most annoying idiots she has ever met
Nonchalant!Shoko! who traumatised Gojo and Geto the first time they witnessed her smoke. Tsk. Wimps.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is the only one who Gojo allows to steal his glasses. She finds them fascinating, the way they are complete pitch black but Gojo can still see just fine with them. She ignores the way he smiles and chuckles whenever she steals them- ignores the way her heart beats a little different every time
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who rolls her eyes watching Gojo flirt around. She doesn't feel jealous-after all, she knows the real Gojo- the Digimon loving, sweet tooth lunatic that's underneath all that charm. These girls are fleeting, and that fact is proven time and time again.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is the only comfort Gojo has after Geto defects. Nothing ever happens between her and Gojo, not even when they get drunk over Geto's leaving several times.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who just works and works the next ten years. The only saving grace is nights out with friends, with Gojo. There's no romantic relationship in her life, but watching Gojo cheer at the nuggets she had just ordered from the kids menu for him- she thinks she might have had one without knowing this entire time.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who isn't surprised to hear about the Gojo clan trying to get Gojo married. She knows Gojo has been avoiding it for years- purposefully disrespecting potential candidates and their clans just to get out of it. She also knows that the Gojo clan has stopped insisting on girls from prominent clans because of this, opting for those from smaller clans or even those with unique abilities. Shoko knows even her own name is in that list, after all, Gakuganji had purposefully confirmed her willingness. She doesn't tell Gojo, of course. She's sure he already knows.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who gets a visit from Gojo later that week, who tells her that he's actually lost the battle of marriage. She listens numbly as he talks about some girl from a small clan- he's irritated, annoyed and yet-Shoko just can't make sense of it. She'd assumed he could fend off the clans, and that if he couldn't, he'd pick someone he could tolerate. Someone like Shoko. Someone who is Shoko. Still, she swallows whatever she's feeling and simply teases him. It's hollow, but Gojo doesn't know it.
Nonchalant!Shoko who attends the wedding, dressed in a pretty kimono. Everyone is there, from big clan heads to small ones. Even the clans whose daughter Gojo rejected are there. Their disgruntled faces would usually amuse Shoko, but she kind of gets it. She thinks if she didn't have so much control over her facial expressions- she would look the same.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who hates to admit it, but you are gorgeous. A kimono that compliments you, hair beautifully done up with flowers. Your face hardly has any make up too. Shoko secretly compares herself to you- your hands are probably softer than her own, feet probably not even used to the kind of running around she does on a daily basis. She had thought that her education and job made her better than you, but Shoko doesn't think that her eye bags and almost rough hands compare to you. You- who looks like a princess more than anything, who's soft thank you and gentle gaze even had her stumped.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who isn't surprised that Gojo didn't spend the wedding night with you. She knows he spent the entire night sleeping in a classroom at Jujutsu High, had caught him there early next morning. She knows he amps up his mission intake after that, just so that he doesn't go home. It's stupid, she knows. Gojo knows it too. Only one minute spent with you and she just knows that even Gojo would fall for you. Maybe if she was a better friend, if she was Geto, she would encourage him to go to you. To try. But some part of her stings at the idea- if a friend is all she is- then why bother being a good one?
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is horrified by Gojo getting sealed. She doesn't sleep that night and the 19 days he's gone are the worst of her life.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is happy when he's unsealed, unsurprised that the first thing he does is come to her after finalizing his date battle with Sukuna. It's a relief to see him, and an effort to hold back from hugging him.
Nonchalant!Shoko who is surprised to see you when they send Gojo off to fight Sukuna. Gojo doesn't even look at you, Shoko notes. But you still smile as he goes.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is surprised that you stick with them- that you watch the entire fight with them. But brushes it off to focus on the battle.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who feels like her heart has been ripped out of her throat at the sight of her friend cut in half. Who can't hear anything- not even your gasp of disbelief. Her entire world has been muted.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who gets Gojo's body and hardens her heart to fix him- because Yuta will need it. But her hands never get to touch Gojo, since yours reach him first. A strange, yellow glow emits and a burst of smoke fills her sight. Shoko coughs and tries to wave the smoke away.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who can't believe her eyes. A not cut in half Gojo sits in front of her, sitting on the bed and stretching his limbs. You're still standing in front of him, noticeable beads of sweat rolling down your face.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who watches as Gojo stretches his neck a little, one eyes closing as he smiles.
'Man that wasn't fun.'
He turns to look at you
'That was you huh?'
You nod shakily, and if it wasn't for relief she was feeling at the sight of Gojo being alive- Shoko would think that Gojo's eyes had softened at the sight of you.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who watches as Gojo jumps off the bed, grinning.
'Gotta go finish this fight. We'll talk later.'
He teleports out of there. It takes Shoko an embarrassing amount of time to realize that he hadn't even looked at her- and that his words had been only for you. She looks at your tired form, realizing she should probably heal you. But this specific act of kindness never manifests and Shoko tells herself it's because she has to conserve her energy for the sorcerers going into battle. It's not because she hates you or anything.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who listens as you explain your cursed technique while Round 2 of Gojo vs Sukuna starts. It's time reversal through molecular manipulation. It's not as simple as reversing time, no. You can influence the molecules to move, however it's usually with great difficulty. You had used your technique to reverse time on Gojo's body, piecing him back together to just barely before he got cut in half. An amazing curse technique, extremely difficult to use too. But you had forced yourself to try beyond your normal skill level.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who should feel grateful. After all, you had saved her most important person. Yet, her mind draws comparisons again. You had healed Gojo when Shoko couldn't, and that stung more than anything.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who cheers with everyone when Gojo wins. A deadly combo of soul piercing black flashes alongside Yuji had gotten Megumi back. By the end of the day, Shoko has numerous sorcerers in the infirmary. But there's no worry about Sukuna, at least.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who is surprised when Gojo casually asks her to heal his wife. Her expression remains the same as usual, and she casually shrugs and agrees. But something inside her feels off.
Nonchalant!Shoko who does her usual rounds that night, walking around and checking each patient. When she walks by yours, she stops short. The sound of a soft moan- your moan reaches her ear. Briefly, she thinks you're cheating on Gojo. But then a familiar voice speaks.
'C'mon babe I'm barely halfway in-'
'Satoru I-oh-'
Satoru? Even Shoko didn't call him by his first name. Something in her chest feels heavy as she quietly listens to you two. This isn't just two people having meaningless sex. Not from the way Gojo talks to you, not from the endearing ways he refers to you. Not from the way you moan his first name. Not from the way Gojo mentions missing you in the prison realm. Not from the sounds you two make as you fall apart together.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who realises that even though she's Gojo's oldest friend- she doesn't know him as well as she thought she did. She had assumed that he hadn't wanted this marriage at all- that he hadn't bothered to give you the time of the day. But he had, hadn't he? This wasn't his first time with you, not when she's clearly heard him comment on missing your warmth. This wasn't the first time he'd called you babe or love or pretty thing- no, this had been going on for a while.
Nonchalant!Shoko! Who does what she knows best. She squares her back, schools her expression and walks away, nonchalant as she tunes out the sounds coming from her room. She does the same when Gojo tells her he's going to be a father months later, does the same when she delivers his child. She does the same when she holds a tiny, white haired baby that she thought she would someday have and hands her to you. She's nonchalant, even when two white haired children with their fathers smile and their mothers eyes cross her path and greet her while running around Jujutsu High. Nonchalant, like always.
There was a graphic that went completely viral in both the autism parent and theater communities of Facebook a while ago, which makes occas
Excerpt:
"We do gain skills without necessarily being drilled or pushed, just in ways that might not be apparent to observers. Just because progress or learning aren’t being displayed to others does not mean they aren’t happening. An ability probably wasn’t learned or gained at the moment it was first displayed, but has been “under construction,” internally, for a long time. Things that are intuitive and easy to typical people can require long periods of interior fermentation and distillation in order to develop, and then for us to feel safe or comfortable enough to use them.
And then seemingly suddenly, when the time or circumstances are right, there they are, like a night-blooming flower.
That uncertainty about whether they will ever show themselves doesn’t make it a miracle when they do; it means it took the time or circumstances it took for that to happen.
I’ve also said before that I feel that very few of my autistic traits are, themselves, positive or negative. They’re all double-edged swords. Disabling or painful in one context, necessary or pleasurable in a different context.
Amanda Baggs has characterized autism not as a specific set of permanent deficits, but as a particular way that the brain allocates cognitive resources. *
That an autistic person might suddenly display an ability they’d never outwardly demonstrated before, or be able to do something under extremely specific circumstances or specific kinds of stress that they can’t do under typical, everyday circumstances, is neither magic nor miraculous. It’s a common aspect of being autistic, and it’s one of my favorite parts. It’s part of how being autistic works that distinct skills can develop at atypical times, and seemingly in isolation from other aspects of development, or are usable in extremely specific contexts when they aren’t normally.
Part of presuming competence is maintaining awareness that just because a skill has never manifested itself yet, does not mean that it never will. And that just because someone might, in fact, never gain some particular skill, does not mean that they won’t gain others."
