Next You&#x27;re Gonna Say!

If either of us lived by that philosophy, we wouldn’t be here now.

…Jojo. Your grandmother– …Isn’t she very religious? …Isn’t there some stigma about…you know… not waiting until marriage for children? Are you trying to make your grandmother think your future wife is a heathen? Always pregnant and unmarried. …Perhaps curb your enthusiasm until we are married.

We haven’t done that stuff in a while because you ran off to America. I intended to have a romantic night with you before we fought. But that threw a wrench in things, of course. Ah, well. I suppose you’ll either have to be really patient or you’ll have to marry me very quickly.

Alright then, let’s start now!

-- As for my Granny.. She’s religious but you know.. she wouldn’t throw a bible at your or anything. It’s true that there’s that kind of rule but she might look the other way for family. She’s kind of a loophole kind of religious person. I doubt she’ll start callin’ you a heathen.

[Damn. That means she’d probably be against him copping a feel as well. Joseph sat up from the bed, pouting like a child who’d been denied dessert.]

Come on Caesaaarrr.. We can do it right now! We don’t have to tell anyone! We--

[Patient? Hell no. Immediately he jumped off the bed and zoomed towards the phone.]

If I give you my address, do you think you can come over and bring my gal some options for a wedding dress?

Luckily for you, I don’t make mistakes. …When it comes to engines.

[She was rather pleased as he rested on her shoulder, taking the time to gently brush her fingers through his hair to help him relax. …Though it didn’t seem to do much given that only a few moments later, he decided to move around again. As he pinched her, she screeched in response and began to tug at his cheeks in annoyance.]

That wasn’t affection! That was being annoying!

…Jojo. …Are you trying to get me pregnant again? …Not that you were trying the first time.

Never say never Caesarino. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

[He leaned away somewhat as she pinched his cheeks, causing him to wince and flail at her actions. Joseph however, quickly changed in his expression-- grinning slightly as she mentioning having another kid.]

-- Annoying?! But you liked it! See, even bringin’ up having a kid...-- Heh. Y’know. Maybe we can go for kid number two? I mean it is just you and me. Plus we really haven’t done stuff in a while...

I don’t understand comic books. And I can cook already. I want to work on engines.

[As he made himself comfortable next to her and wrapped his arms around her, she felt rather content. Until he wouldn’t stop kissing her. He was practically smothering her.]

I don’t think I was your anything when we first met. Except your rival, really. You snotty brat. I remember when you tried to flick pasta at me.

…Fine, fine. I just…want to make sure we make the most of right now. Having one so little as Vitalia is hard. It wears me out and makes me exhausted– and I feel like when I’m exhausted, I can’t give you as much attention as I’d like to.

You’ve done enough of that already! Anyways, engines are dangerous! One little mistake and bam! I’m a widower! No way.

[He spoke in between kisses, pausing every here and there. After a few minutes he stopped, laying his head on the blonde’s shoulder.]

I flicked it at you ‘cause you were disturbing the peace.--- But honestly, I’m glad we’re together. I’d rather have you as my wife than my rival. ‘Cause then I can do this.

[Joseph reached over, playfully pinching her sides.]

Joestar Secret Affection Attack!

I’m gonna make the most of it right now! It’s just you and me, you can sure as hell I’m gonna take advantage of this rare moment when it’s just you and me!

Then I’ll be a mechanic for free. Then it’s not working. It’s a hobby.

[As he scooped her up into his arms and spun, she groaned, gently smacking at his shoulder in protest. She preferred the laying in bed part of this. Much less squeezing involved.]

…Che. Now I’m your cute Caesar, hm? You’re so– …You’re so annoying. And frustrating. And stubborn. And a brute. And big. And hulking. And–

…I love you too.

Now I want to spend time together before I have to go back in a few days.

No way. Take up some other hobby? Like cooking. Or comic books.

[He continued twirling her for a few more seconds before he placed her on the bed-- plopping himself right besides her as he wrapped his arms around her, bombarding her with kisses.]

Mmm, you’ve always been my cute Caesar. Even from the day we first met-- my cute shitty little Caesar.

We’ll spend as much time as we can right now-- and even more when we start livin’ together.

I don’t know what to do otherwise! I’m not suited to be a housewife, Jojo! I can clean and cook– but if I’m expected to stay in the home forever, I’ll go stir crazy! I want to work! Not for money, but to keep myself sane!

…I stayed outside because I didn’t want to go back to Italy without you. And you wouldn’t let me inside to spend time with you.

[As he pulled at the covers, she let go of them, sitting up in the bed. She wasn’t yelling as much as she normally would. Her expression was softer than normal, though it took much effort on her part.]

Do I– …Do I need to spell it out? You’re making this difficult. I’ve agreed to your terms. I intend to get Vitalia and bring her here if you still want to marry me.

I’d just like to be able to spend time with you before I make the trip back to get her by myself. That’s all. …You’re so unreasonable some times. You couldn’t even stop to see I’d agreed with you…

Something that doesn’t involve doing a job! You’re suited to be a housewife--you’re cute like one and you can just take care of the bunch of kids we’re gonna have! No one’s telling you to stay in the house forever! I just don’t want you working!

I told you I’m not goin’ over there and I wasn’t gonna spend time with you if all we were gonna do is argue and fight and potentially bre--

[His yelling seemed to stop all together as he made the realization of what she’d said. Caesar was.. going to move here with him? She was going to marry him? Joseph remained frozen for a moment before rushing towards her-- lifting her up into his arms as he twirled her around.]

You..... You seriously mean it?!

Ahahaha........ Ah, Caesar! My cute Caesar! I love you! I’m super happy! I love you so much!

No. I will be the wife, yes. And when Vitalia begins to attend school, I intend to get a job. As a mechanic.

[She groaned. He was still on that?]

…I don’t see why you don’t understand. It’s not an option. It’s clear that if I want to be with you, I must just…pick up my life and move. It’s already decided. Unless you decide not to marry me. If so, let me know now so I can stop looking foolish for no reason.

[Caesar clawed at the sheets, wrapping them tighter around herself to keep herself from having to look at him.]

No! What the hell Caesar?! No! I don’t want you to work! You worked your ass off enough! You’re supposed to rest while I make the money-- that.. That pisses me off?! What did I say when we got back together? I was supposed to take care of you! So just let me do that and stop bein’ so damn difficult!

When Vitalia goes to school you can chill at home and listen to your cheesy Italian music and read a book!

[He was angry, the tone of his voice making it obvious. Why was it so hard for her to just take it easy and let him give her a carefree life, one that she deserved so much?]

I understand! I understand that you’re bein’ a real pain in the ass! It’s an option! You think I went to Italy from the get go with an intention to live there? I just went there to fix all the crap that happened back then! New York is my home.

Honestly... you’re bein’ pretty foolish already. You stayed outside, fully knowing I wouldn’t change my mind.

[Reaching over, he began pulling at the covers in an attempt to get her to look at him.]

So if you got all that! Go back home Caesar! ‘Cause I’ve got no intention of leavin’ at all!

…You do need to learn. You intend to marry me, yes? Do you expect me to do all of your laundry?

[Caesar huffed, sinking further into the sheets, away from view.]

I came to spend time with you and regain your love.

And now you are eager to send me back?

Vitalia probably misses her papa too.

No... I mean maybe-- I mean.. well! You’re gonna be my wife and I’ll be makin’ the money so maybe? You can be the housewife who cleans and cooks and kicks those annoying door to door salesmens’ asses!

[He moved closer, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction.]

And marrying you is a maybe too! Because I intend to live here and if you can’t live here next to my granny then maybe we can’t get married! I do love you I never said I don’t! And I wanna spend time with you too but not if you’re gonna be an asshole about things!

The answer is simple, you and Vitalia have to come over here! So is it a yes or no?!

Then I’ll teach you how. It’s something you’ll need to learn and do for yourself sometimes. But for now, I don’t want to get out of the bed. The sheets might smell– but they also smell of you, a little. So it’s not the worst.

[She grumbled, kicking the sheets as she struggled to wrap herself up in them.]

It feels nice to lay in an actual bed. I was tired. The steps outside are not comfortable.

I don’t need to learn. Anyways, if you don’t wanna get out of the bed then stop complainin’.

[Although he didn’t admit it, hearing her say being under those sheets wasn’t the worst because they smelled like himself somewhat was pretty cute of her.]

No one told you to hang around outside. You should just go back to Italy-- Vitalia probably misses her mum.

…!!

[Caesar stormed in before he could change his mind, and promptly ran to the bedroom, taking time only to slip of her shoes before diving under the covers for warmth. She decided she really didn’t like America. It was cold and awful.]

…The sheets smell.

[Two seconds in and already a complaint. As she stormed towards the bedroom and inside the covers, he follower-- arms crossed as he stood besides the bed.]

Give me a break! I don’t know how to wash and the lady who does my laundry was sick so she didn’t come yesterday! If you’ve got a complaint feel free to leave back to Italy!

…If I sneeze one more time, I’m going to break down his door.

[Eventually he gives in, opening his door wide open.]

Hey. You’re gonna freeze to death so come in.

#I'm startin' to feel a little bad for just leaving her there.

She’s still here....

…

[Ugh. That didn’t feel too good. Definitely nauseating.]

…Your house?! I thought it was going to be OUR house! Fine! Throw me to the graces of a city I don’t even know! I’m not afraid to sleep in the street!

Che! Maybe you’ll get lucky! Maybe some other American man will steal me from your doorstep.

Yeah it’s my house because you declined my offer!-- In fact, you know what! I lied. I’m not gonna throw you out in the street.. I’m callin’ the family driver and havin’ him take you to the airport! I’m gonna get you a ticket back asap!

No man is gonna take a rude lady like you away, ‘cause I’m sending ya back home!

[As he handled her roughly, she shouted in response, beginning to kick and flail.]

Tch! Put me down! I– I’m not going back for a few days! Do you expect me to sleep outside until I leave?! I’ll break a window and come back in! Put me down, Jojo, or I’ll make you cry!

[She reached out, trying to grasp and pull at his hair]

-- Jesus! Hey! Will you stop that?!

[He grunted as she began to kick and flail, shaking her around a bit in an attempt to stop her.]

I’m not gonna let you stay in my house if all you’re gonna do is say shitty things! I’m throwin’ you in front of the city and letting you find your own way back!

[A yelp escaped him as she pulled his hair, causing him to reach back and pinch her in response.]

Say sorry! And I’ll consider lettin’ ya stay!

What a terrible thing to say to your future wife, Jojo.

You are trying to make it seem like I’ve insulted her. You want to fight me. You want a reason to call me wrong when you are wrong too. …You giant baby.

…You would make me make the journey back alone?! I am exhausted already! Traveling is difficult! And expensive! Augh! Inconsiderate!!

[She pulled away slightly, puffing up her chest and pressing it against his as she peered up at him.]

…England is…shit. And your accent…is stupid. What are you going to do, Jojo? Fight me?

I never said my wife is a good person. Anyways, you really make me mad sometimes Caesar. I’m tryna do nice stuff but instead you get all angry and difficult on me.

-- And that’s cause you did! You were like ooh! Dumb people blah blah! You just like talkin’ shit! I don’t wanna fight you but the way you keep runnin’ your mouth I’ll throw you into a water fountain and make you cry!

You came here by yourself, you can go back by yourself! I’ll pay for your ticket-- so just stop crying! I should be crying, you’re the one who’s gotta make everything so hard!

[He reached over, seemingly going to stroke her cheek-- but stopped, standing up before tossing her over his shoulder.]

Outta the house ya go Caesar!