bardboo tumblring @bardboostuff - Tumblr Blog

I go by a lot of name, my current is Bard, the one that is my work-life brand right now.

online friends of mine refer to me as decoy, and few that goes way back know me as Real.

i’ll be posting a bunch of life thoughts and opinion, video games, gamedev and arts stuff, a true art dump with actual monologue, unlike the instagram one where I don’t say much more. I repost nice arts.

and I am learning mandarin! self learn, so it is insanely slow. 搅拌机 is my favorite word~

feel free to comment or whatever, hope this goes well

再见！later

Mindhack tore open my heart.

I finished its latest chapter this morning.

Every single time I put my devices away and let my mind wander, it’s always the image of the tragic fella (no spoiler). I’ve been touched by other games before, putting me in a depression ever time I finish one. Mindhack goes a bit further than my comfort zone.

I often wish I was mindhacked. Or gone through something of sort. Like that concept of the vitamin that will fix you up. Fix what was wrong with me, help me get back onto my path. This game shows an alternative angle that I never saw.

If you fix all of your flaws, are you even the same person as before? What would others react? Can flaws even be allowed to be fixed in a 5 minutes session?

Growth is part of everyone’s journey. Who you are in 5 years is completely different from today. And I am deadly afraid of change. I am actively changing, but those who know me won’t recognize the me today, compared to the me of 5 years ago. Being my own self means I eventually will push those people away.

I took the time to read a bit of the Bloody Paella side comic. It tears my heart that the person so full of personality in that comic is not there anymore. They are not the same person. But they are, and they are doing so much better in life. More cheerful, more happy. Is that bad?

People need to have flaws, it’s part of what makes a person. But some people have infinite flaws, and those are out of their controls. What separate Mindhack from being totally realistic is the existence of BUGs, which we still don’t really know about, and I feel like that sucks since we still need to headcanon about what it is.

I don’t know if I want to take it, if there were an option. Never have I been so tempted at a virtual decision offered from a video game. I do know that who I am today is part of many years of hard work, many years of experience and regrets, and those are with my flaws. Some flaws I have managed to work out of, but some still exist, and I desperately wish to peel off these flawed wounds. I would regret it, but perhaps I can live freely, no longer bound by hesitation and always keep my sights forward. I am always working toward that, so why would this be bad?

I do know everyone around me would hate me for it. It is a very selfish wish, so I hesitate. But I will change eventually. What’s the difference between 5 minute and 5 years? It’s ultimately happiness in the end.

Perhaps the flaws themselves are the reason why I want to tell my own story as well. Create awesome characters. Make my own creation.

Please keep making games.

love vodkademo

#bardboo

I wish I was fluent, or proficient enough to engage with simple topic of more languages. English unlocks like 90% of the world, but the small 1% that you stumble upon that shine the brightest is unfortunately not part of the 90%.

I wish I just had more time man, to learn and discover all that is awesome in the world. I am learning mandarin for sure, but one or two year will have gone by and my obsession would have changed. My efforts would have been rewarded, but I will forever miss out the opportunity to engage with the cool stuff in this current moment.

And I am incredibly sad with this realization. I wish I just had more time. Time sadly won’t wait for me.

#bardboo

Me and my social skill (I swear I am not this bad at conversation)

#bardboo #irl stuff

A character I've been adoring lately, he arrived in a random 2am sketch (second image)

hope i get more opportunities to develop this fella more

#original character #art

ketrindarkdragon

Escher brainrot

Just finished The Witch Queen main questline in destiny 2 (I started around a few weeks before Monument of Triumph, didn't know the game was shutting down).

I sent my friend this and I thought this was kinda funny, still don't know if this was intentional or an issue

#destiny 2

A fish chef! with a shrimp tail? (do shrimps have tail?)

#art #sketch

i had a tiny bit of skin torn out (it’s called a hangnail?) on my left index finger the past few day. It doesn’t bother much, and I’ve never really thought that it was an issue (save for few “slightly worse than usual” cases). I know how to avoid hitting it randomly so it doesn’t cause pain, it was basically nothing.

today, randomly during class, I was on the laptop taking notes when I decided to lean back into the chair and stretch a bit and brushed past my ear and hit something around the ear, hit me with a jolt of shock, then I took a glance at my finger

it was fucking blood red, like blood seeping out covering the entire finger at an alarming rate, and I essentially booked (calmly) out of the door and washed the blood away until it stopped bleeding. Apparently I tore up a NEW hangnail and the wound was as long as my nail, showing a lot of flesh, and the piece of skin just hung along, it was fucking disgusting, didn’t hurt after the initial shock though.

Thankfully I reached out to a pal in class whom I know have tons of backup bandages, and I made it through class with no trouble. Went home and clipped off the chunk of hanging skin, and here I am with a very awkward finger.

#irl stuff

helloooo

i shall start posting randomly here, hope this lil experiment last a while