earnest;

❝ Merely wishing to linger: to be, to be here. + M. Barden 17

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malfoyxxheiress:

bardcn:

In one way or another, he finds his feet and pushing away from the chair, Michael doesn’t meet her gaze, afraid his green irises would prove far too transparent in the as to what he was thinking. “I’m going to head to my room now,” he stated bluntly, moving past her before she could argue with a tightness in his chest he couldn’t quell. 

Aspen opened her mouth to say something more though decided to just let him go. Sitting there for a while longer she replayed the incident in her head trying figure out what it was that she’d done wrong. Finally she got up taking her textbook back into her room retiring for the night, though unable to focus much on the reading with how the evening had gone.

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malfoyxxheiress:

The longer she watched him the more concerned she grew of the fact that she’d done something to leave him truly unsettled. “Michael…?” She asked, voice having lost any playfulness, and amusement. 

In one way or another, he finds his feet and pushing away from the chair, Michael doesn’t meet her gaze, afraid his green irises would prove far too transparent in the as to what he was thinking. “I’m going to head to my room now,” he stated bluntly, moving past her before she could argue with a tightness in his chest he couldn’t quell. 

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malfoyxxheiress:

Aspen’s gaze lingered over his face than to his stiff posture hurdling as far back against the seat as possible, hands gripping the chair hard. The blonde pursed her lips for a moment before straightening, taking a few steps back she sat down on the coffee table crossing her legs and observing. “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable Michael.”

Suddenly he could breathe again as she stepped back, chest which had been sucking in the air falling back into regular rhythm as he exhaled sharply. Though, his grip on the chair hadn’t loosened in contrast, as if he was still on edge ( and he was ). Her words nor distance could settle him, only a shaky nod coming from the Gryffindor.

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malfoyxxheiress:

Aspen shrugged, “Depends on how you go about it, and you couldn’t possibly know unless you tried.” Getting up from her spot she went over to where he sat leaning down she put her hands on the arm rests of his chair looking at him. “You’re smart Barden, very easy on the eyes, but too shy for your own good. Tell me is there are a reason, or has no one simply ever pushed at your shell?”

Then, what if I couldn’t even muster the courage to try, he wondered. All at once the atmosphere tensed, as did he, gripping his seat until his knuckles went sheet white with the sheer level of nervousness nestled in his chest. “I-I don’t know --- I don’t know,” he stammered, pressed as far back into the seat as he could manage. He could only hope, pleading with desperate eyes that she wouldn’t reach out for him or pursue his reasons for retrogression. Inadequacy was hard enough to carry as a burden in itself, but pity would have surely broken him. He couldn’t let her in, he knew, not anyone. 

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luckymcnamara:

“Right, of course—it must be dreadful, having to look after everyone at a time like this.” Part of her was genuinely surprised she’d forgotten his position as Head Boy, but a small, buried part of her realized (though she’d deny it) that perhaps this was always her goal in approaching him. “I don’t suppose they tell you any more than they tell us, though. About what’s happening, I mean.” She’d almost have felt guilty, but for the hope of finding something out overshadowing any regret.

“The, uh, responsibility weighs pretty heavily, I won’t lie, but it feels good knowing I’m doin’ something,” he resolved, head nodded firmly as if to confirm his own words. He hated the feeling of helplessness --- even uselessness which crept up on him alike his own shadow, haunting him. But then he remembered the hurt of it, being only a tool --- never Michael, the boy who liked plants and wide open spaces and a sense of belonging ( though that had always evaded him ). “N-No, I don’t know anything,” he began to pull back into himself, comfort leaving him, “I’m s-sorry I--I can’t be of more help.”

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kayley-matthew:

Kayley was holding her breath. Literally. Someone like her - shy and maybe also a little too innocent - always caused a lot of different reactions from people. Some would pick up the quill - maybe - but others would either ignore the fact they fell down close to their feet, or even amuse themselves about her helpless tries to get it picked up again. And with a stranger you could never know what of this all would happen. “Thank…. you,” Kayley returned the smile shyly, taking the quill back. “And I am Kayley. Kayley Matthew.”

He always found that among his few favorable traits as he saw them, his overall agree-ability was something to be rather proud of. Even if people alienated Michael, they appreciated this characteristic to him, he realized. “O-Of course, no problem. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kayley,” he murmured, gentle smile floating over his visage.

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malfoyxxheiress:

“It isn’t, though you didn’t answer. It’s a simple yes or no question really. Don’t worry I won’t judge you for it, though I am curious. Your…bashful nature is rather endearing.” She drawled, smiling lightly. “Yes, I prefer to speak my mind every chance I get, in society I’m required to employ more diplomacy, and care for with words that come out of my mouth whether I like it or not. So when it’s not necessary I don’t take on that extra burden. It makes things a lot easier, don’t you think?”

Please stop, he wanted to say, but he had not the conviction. Oh, what a cowardly lion he was indeed, unable to even stop the onslaught of a girl’s questions for his own sake. Instead, he kept his countenance turned from her, inner cheek taken between his teeth as he chewed at the flesh of his mouth --- a nervous habit. “It’s n-not like I could s-stop you if I, um, even tried,” he managed, brows knitting together in frustration with himself and bitter smile rising to his lips.

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florxnce

“Oh, uh --- w-wait! You’ve dropped your papers,” he calls out to a figure rushing past, crouching down to gather them in his hands hurriedly. They’d rather scattered, he noticed as he collected them --- an array of what appeared to be assorted notes and classwork. “Here, you wouldn’t want to forget these,” he says, outstretching the haphazardly tossed together slips of parchment.

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kayley-matthew:

Kayley could already feel that this would turn into a pretty odd situation pretty soon - with them both sitting here, trying to do their homework or whatever and not saying a word all the time. In the library that would be normal but here…. here it was like Kayley was an intruder in her own favourite hiding spot. She sighed, and then her quill was falling down and rolling right between the guy’s feet. “Damn.…”

He could only laugh, granted with a bit of dry humor to the delicate tones, but it was a positive from him regardless. Then, sweeping the quill between his fingers, he timidly outstretched it her with a smile, “No worries. I assure you, I’m far from the type to bite your head off. Oh, I’m, uh, Michael by the way --- Barden. Michael Barden.”

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luckymcnamara:

“Yeah, but still—I should probably stop bothering you. Although it looks like you’re nearly finished with that,” she said, tilting her head slightly at the book in front of him. “Suppose they can’t help it, though, what with us all being locked up in here. Can’t even hold Quidditch practices until the Headmaster gives the say-so,” she observed, only barely daring to look up from her essay, which she began editing with a surprisingly steady hand, considering present company.

He’d never been the type to plead for conversation, but it was also hardly at all like him to leave another to feel like a pest. Michael had always been known to act and speak, even think, on behalf of others. “You’re not botherin’ me at all, I promise. In regards to the crowd, however, I suppose y’right about them. Makes m’job as Head Boy a bit easier to have most people corralled in here too, sort of at least,” he observed of the situation, eyes drawing from both Lucky and his indeed, nearly finished work, to survey the room.

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he's always been a lost boy, with inadequacy in his bones and holding it togetherness and art beneath his eyes where blues and greens make for a piece called exhaustion.  

m. barden // a.p.

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lottiemcgonagall:

“I say, “fight me” a lot for a girl who is under five feet and has a hard time pushing doors open.”

“Oh, uh, right --- of course,” he says, though with eyes wandering, as if looking for whom the girl must have been talking to --- her words rather indirect.

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luckymcnamara:

Lucky gave a small, hesitant smile of relief and took the seat beside him, dropping her bag beside her and immediately pulling out a length parchment and a quill. “Thanks,” she said quietly, though it hardly mattered—with the recent castle-wide lockdown, nearly everyone had taken to the library for studying as well as socialization, and the librarian had long since given up on trying to keep it quiet. “’S maddening, isn’t it?” she observed. “You’d think they’d find somewhere else to talk, but—oh, here I am, talking too, now I’m part of the problem.”

He nodded, hazel irises drifting across the room to where several tables remained fully occupied --- he wondered what had compelled her thanks with that in mind, seeing as though it were unavoidable that she sit with him. “You’re welcome,” he mumbles, nevertheless. She was hardly the worst person he could have been stuck with, he knew. “It’s no problem, I’ve slowly learned to tune them out ---  but s’shame though, you’re right, seein’ as this was one of those few quiet spaces left, but they’re far more loud than you. No worries.”

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malfoyxxheiress:

The blonde sat sideways on the lounge chair, back to one large arm rest feet slung over the side of the other. She looked back at him once making herself comfortable in one of her favorite lounging spots in their dormitory. She held his gaze for a moment before letting it fall to the textbook in her lap. “You speak as if you’ve never seen a woman’s body before.” She said matter-a-factly.

His cheeks were a violent pink on his face at her observation, urging him to turn his face away in embarrassment. They weren’t a good match at all, he thought to himself at the recall of the past few moments. However, they’d be sharing a dormitory where he liked it or not. “N-Not that that’s any of your b-business. Are you --- Are you always this a-alarmingly straightforward?”

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lorettasy:

coming back to hogwarts was a hard task to do. she didn’t remember so many faces && she was usually very open with everyone. while she tried to find a familiar face, she bumped into someone. she gasped shortly, turning to the male figure. “ i’m so sorry – michael? “ she frowned once she recognised the face. this is not the man she used to be around often. they used to have a few classes together. “ i’m loretta, i don’t know if you remember me? we had defence against the dark arts together. “

At the collision, he instantly reached out to steady his counterpart --- a reflex, but he quickly pulled his hands away as his gaze met hers with furrowed brows. Under normal circumstances, he would have feigned the knowledge of her person, but veritaserum well cut that option out. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t --- I don’t recognize you. N-Not that you aren’t memorable, I’ve just got, uh, very horrid memory. S-Sorry.”

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luckymcnamara:

She’d tried to find a different seat—she really had—and normally, she would never willingly subject herself to becoming the stuttering, horribly awkward mess she became whenever she caught sight of him, even if it had worn of slightly over the years. Given present circumstances, however, she couldn’t care less, as long as she could sit down before her legs gave out beneath her. “I–is this seat taken?”

Ever oblivious, he hadn’t noticed the Ravenclaw as she stood over him --- not until she’d spoken, earning a jolt of surprise as his gaze darted upward. Lucky. She’d always been pretty, he knew, and normally that threw him for a loop, all sorts of stuttering and awkwardness --- today, however, he supposed he hadn’t the energy or the care. “Not at all, go ahead,” he replies, loosely gesturing to the seat beside him. 

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kayley-matthew:

All Kayley wanted was some peace - this whole thing about everyone needing to be totally honest to each other was draining her, even more because the young Ravenclaw felt like some of this wouldn’t be over after the effect of the potion had worn off again.

Seeing someone sitting at her favourite spot already made Kayley hesitate first, but then she just pressed her lips together more, mumbling a small ‘hi’ and then sitting down there as well.

Of course it hadn’t been his spot, he knew, but he wished it had been. He hadn’t necessarily wanted to throw himself a pity party there by himself, but a little brooding would have done nicely, he thought. “Afternoon,” he muttered back, lifting his eyes for a moment from the work he had spread across his lap, coming to the conclusion that she couldn’t mean much harm.