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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Today's Document
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@barovianlark
THIS CASTLE IS NOT YOUR GRAVE. NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU. GET UP.
BAROVIANLARK, or valentyna strahava ruan— TTRPG original character, set in the curse of strahd campaign module. remade jan. 2026. 18+, highly selective and mutuals only. activity when i feel like it. deeply triggering themes ahead.
carrd.
𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑰𝑺 𝑨 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑶𝑭: gilded cages, objectification, the noble bastard archetype, horror hunger, belonging to yourself only, the hanged man arcana, finding freedom.
ruan ai lin lore for you all.
" my darling ladyship. my existence is devoted to solely to keeping you alive and in power. please do not allow your existential dread to over take upon this evening. so in exchange for you to exist with a smile for the next few hours, i've brought you fine blood and chicken tendies. " / @barovianlark gets a calista.
"my existential dread is nothing for you to worry yourself over."
valentyna tries for a smile, awkwardly- even as she tepidly reaches for the food that callista has brought for her. simple foods, foods that people would struggle to tamper with. "i wouldn't make a good rule, calista. i only wish to have a life without too much struggle."
" you want out of here, yes? " tova reaches out a hand to valentyna. " i don't know much about other people. but i can see a person trapped. real recognizes real so to speak. "
she's so tired. she's so empty and hollow. a fire that has burned itself out to ashes. a beautiful prop to sing and preform to her father's clingers on, his sychopants, and his consorts and their allies. taken out, shown off, set back in her gilded cage.
"i've always wanted to leave..." the response is like the first distant bird song at the rumored dawn. a hand rests in tova's, unnaturally pale- soft, gently calloused in the ways of noble's pastimes of fencing and instrument playing.
"i... want to go far away from here." her hand tightens around tova's- the hollow look in her eyes, replaced with a terror that could only be hope."don't bring me back here, i don't want to be here. i'm tired of being strahd's favorite daughter. i'm so tired of being a bird in a cage." her voice, soft- refined, elegant, cracks hard- as tears well up and roll down her face smearing her exquisitely done makeup down her face. "can we go far away, please?" her voice broken. "i want to see the sunrise..."
@familycursed
I didn't include maybe my favourite part
MASK OF A THOUSAND FACES: in order to escape the ever-watchful eye of her father and his cronies- and to protect herself from others who see her as little more than a tool, valentyna has come into the possession of a magical mask after her disasterous debut- a featureless, smooth, finely crafted white porcelain mask that obscures her whole face, allowing her to change her appearances at will, every 24 hours.
' 𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄. ' she had thought it many times though and her expression and occasional noises of annoyance had done most of the talking for her. ' but i think we should start to consider that it is. '
@barovianlark / starter call.
there's a pause as valentyna opens her mouth to speak, but as the words register to her ears, her body and face freeze. the perfectly crafted smile falls into a line. the mask falls away from the sheltered socialite persona, and there's sparks of life in her eyes- bewilderment, irritation, confusion, fear; emotions coming to life but dying in the same moments. the fleeting moment passes, and the smile is back- plastered on her lips. (trying too hard. reaching too much.) she looks... hollowed out.
"how should i fix it?" are the words from her mouth. an air of panicked worry in her voice.
date: text has faded.
we came across the "princess" of barovia, lady valentyna ruan. it was like a living porcelain doll, beautiful but mostly hollow and lifeless. staring blankly until she was called into the role of "princess". she's our best bet into the castle- and dumb enough to cling to any scraps of kindness given. we'll approach her tomorrow in vallaki after morning worship.
the entry ends here.
I'VE NEVER BEEN HOMESICK. AFTER ALL, THERE'S NO PLACE THAT I BELONG TO.
NON RP BLOGS, DNI, TY!
the fucked up thing is that valentyna being used as a tool/pawn is not exclusive to strahd & consorts. like, at least one failed party of morally ambiguous would be assassins looked at a deeply sheltered, purposefully isolated, and lonely girl and decided that she would be at a minimum, a useful meat shield- and at least one of the consorts have definitely fed into a whole "you can't leave the cage because you'll be hurt and used so it's safer in here where we can control you"
I'VE NEVER BEEN HOMESICK. AFTER ALL, THERE'S NO PLACE THAT I BELONG TO.
NON RP BLOGS, DNI, TY!
happy birthday to barovia's favorite suffer puppet
french vintage black suede ribbon lace ballet flats
the most promising child, of course. too bad she was little more than a lifeless doll.
a lark amongst ravens.
a collection of prompts inspired by and remind me of my curse of strahd playable character. ( as always, feel free to tweak things such as pronouns, words, and titles as needed for context. ) cw: depression, dissociation.
"i was looked at, but never seen."
"i was never welcome there, i was never welcome anywhere."
"no, you are fucking alive! you can do whatever you want!"
"you can’t grant a single thing i wish for."
"lear knew what cordelia meant the whole time and so does your father."
"sometimes the gods just want to see what you are going to do."
"i felt overwhelmed by reality."
"i hate being treated like this. like a scapegoat."
"i exist, that is all, and i find nauseating."
"if you're considered useless, no one will feed you anymore."
"i don't want to receive kindness with hidden intentions."
"a golden cage is still just a cage."
"have you ever felt as if you don't belong anywhere, and just want to live in a place where no one knows you?"
"your smiling face has always looks like a lie."
"don't look at me like you understand me."
"i am always alone."
"i don't want worship. i want understanding."
"now the mask slips off. now you see me in all of my horrible glory."
"i spent so many years forgetting i had teeth, too."
"anyone can betray anyone."
"let me tell you a story about hope: it always starts and ends with birds."
"i'm just... really lonely."
"why can't i stop needing you to see me?
"the cage is open. you can walk out anytime you want. why are you still in there?
"is that what growing up is? just leaving things behind over and over?
"i'm scared. i'm scared that if i let my guard down for even a second- the world is going to come crashing down."
"they want me to be one thing. and i am not one thing."
"perhaps there is no place where i can safely store my heart."
"when you smile, it's beautiful- but that smile has never reached your eyes."
"it appears you have mistaken my dislike of causing harm as an inability to do so."
"i get lost sometimes. i'm not sure where i go, but i'm not... i'm not here."
"if i guard my heart, i am safe."
"my father is the worst man alive, and i am his favorite daughter."
everything about valentyna is polished to a preternatural shine, hands with painted nails that had never seen a day of physical hardship, outfit curated to accentuate her body, makeup that purposefully brought attention to a lovely face, and the self assured authority of a woman who understood when she spoke, people listened. admittedly- it's all a farce. valentyna is little more than an extraordinarily beautiful puppet to the dread lord of barovia- an ungrateful bird with an never-ending futile struggle to escape the gilded cage she was kept in.
valentyna pours tea into her personal tea set for the 'guest'. a quick hand gesture summons servants who barely hide the disdain and hostility in their eyes- with a tray of various barovian desserts and finger foods.
"please forgive me for the poor reception." she bows, voice bright, lips curled into a smile that could win over the hardest of hearts; contrasted against the flat, lifeless look in her eyes. "father only informed me of your arrival a few minutes before you appeared, so i didn't have anything suitably prepared."
@vernades 💖'd!
misc. valja headcanons because i cba to reblog them from my old blog + elaborations:
valentyna cannot swim. growing up exclusively around strahd's coven hasn't given her the chance to learn, but wouldnt be the strongest swimmer anyways. also barovia's weather isn't conducive for swimming.
to people who don't know her, she's a pampered princess who has never dressed herself, never worked a hard job, never suffered. and to an extent it is true- but valentyna was raised by strahds consorts, and in order to make her easy to manipulate, they stripped away a lot of her autonomy as she grew up. having her unable to lace up her own corsets, unable to do her own dresses, or do her hair without help. it's easy to control someone if they have no option but to rely on your scraps of kindness for everything.
as a dhampir, valentyna's ideal diet would have a roughly equal mix of both blood and food, but because valentyna was an easy target for poisoning attempts- she tends to rely more on blood part rather than the food part, but she does like anything sweet. true (mortal/vampire offspring) dhampir's can forego blood completely, but would need to eat 2x as much regular food.
valentyna's mostly blood diet also means her reflections is actually kind of... transparent? at least- more transparent than a normal human's reflection.
outside of her star of high society role, valentyna is actually... awkward, easily flustered. she has a hard time being genuine with her thoughts and emotions because she is scared of being hurt again, of being used and discarded.
