Barty "not senior" Crouch

B.C.J., BJ for short if ya know what i mean

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

'Sup, i'm Barty.

Call me Barty, BC, BCJ, Crouch, dickhead, whatever you want

year 5

bisexual? gay? idk i like men. girls are alright.

he/him/whatever you feel like calling me people I know:

fellow slytherins: @heirtothehouseofblack ; Regulus, my best mate

@rosiers-are-red ; Evan, PLEASE LET ME HAVE A CHANCE PLE- (UPDATE HE LET ME HIT!!!)*ahem* my other best mate

@the-whimsical-rosier ; Panda <33 my future sister-in-law fr

@a-field-of-fucking-flowers ; CAS!! love annoying her

@halfbloodtwink ; he's kind of an odd bloke, always lurkin' around. tolerable though

gryffindors ig..: @jamespotterthedeer ; Potter. lowk annoying friend group

@siriusblackisnotadog ; Sirius, Reggie's older brother and also in Potter's bunch of idiots

@marls-girlkisser ; Marlene. sick style. still a Gryffindor tho so BOOO

@l00ny-m00ny ; Lupin. not as annoying as the rest of Potter's friendgroup tbh

[siriusblackisnotadog]

guysss, can any1 hang out? @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

you're kinda boring but sure

[siriusblackisnotadog]

its crazy how we're all straight now that pride month ended @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i was always straight, me and ev say no homo before we ***** *** *** ** ***** ** ** so it's not even gay

[siriusblackisnotadog]

yeah that's what I said before I started dating remus Step one: denial

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

no, we're literally just dating in a bro way yk

[siriusblackisnotadog]

its crazy how we're all straight now that pride month ended @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i was always straight, me and ev say no homo before we ***** *** *** ** ***** ** ** so it's not even gay

[siriusblackisnotadog]

isnt it crazy how we're all alive at the same time in the same place @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

Idk about same place, I've been stuck in an undisclosed area of the forbidden forest up till now. Ventured too far while looking for animal bones

[siriusblackisnotadog]

the fuck????

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

you act as if this is anything out of the usual for me

[siriusblackisnotadog]

isnt it crazy how we're all alive at the same time in the same place @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

Idk about same place, I've been stuck in an undisclosed area of the forbidden forest up till now. Ventured too far while looking for animal bones

[siriusblackisnotadog]

whats our thoughts on it almost being summer @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

couldn't be more excited, personally

[siriusblackisnotadog]

and why is that?

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

why am i excited about summer? it's summer, Black, why wouldn't i be

[siriusblackisnotadog]

whats our thoughts on it almost being summer @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

couldn't be more excited, personally

[smartestwitchofherage]

I miss my girlfriend 😔

@siriusblackisnotadog @jamespotterthedeer @heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald @marls-girlkisser

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i miss my BOYFRIEND 😞

[smartestwitchofherage]

Sigh we just gotta wait man 🫂

How r u?

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

its an unbearably long wait 😔

High on life and drugs so good

[smartestwitchofherage]

I miss my girlfriend 😔

@siriusblackisnotadog @jamespotterthedeer @heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald @marls-girlkisser

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i miss my BOYFRIEND 😞

[smartestwitchofherage]

Everyone listen, the marauders pulled ANOTHER prank and apparently they were stupid enough to do it in the Slytherin common room, knowing full well they could get into trouble.

Punishments are as follows

@siriusblackisnotadog No. Dog. Treats. For. You. + Helping out in the trophy room + Detention

@jamespotterthedeer No quidditch practice + helping out in cauldron cleaning + Detention

@l00ny-m00ny I don't think theres anything for you Rem, but you have to help in the library :(

@heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

HELL YEAHHH TAKE THAT BITCHES

[siriusblackisnotadog]

guysss come backkk @l00ny-m00ny @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @marls-girlkisser @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @the-whimsical-roiser

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i've been here man, i just lurk

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Guys low-key think I ended up dating an accidental performative male do I break up with him @l00ny-m00ny @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @marls-girlkisser @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @the-whimsical-roiser

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

it's too late now, man, you gotta do it(lupin) for the plot

[siriusblackisnotadog]

bro no he's literally the opitime of "Reading my feminist literature in a museum. (6'5 btw)"

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

oh shit you're in deep..

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Guys low-key think I ended up dating an accidental performative male do I break up with him @l00ny-m00ny @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @marls-girlkisser @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @the-whimsical-roiser

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

it's too late now, man, you gotta do it(lupin) for the plot

[heirtothehouseofblack]

@the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @siriusblackisnotadog @l00ny-m00ny @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald

guys why is there 30000 empty bottles and a gigantic mess in the Gryffindor common room

the party could not have been that insane

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

from the fact that i cant remember a single event that happened, it probably was that insane

[smartestwitchofherage]

@jamespotterthedeer @siriusblackisnotadog @bartemius-the-second-crouch get the FUCK off of that table do not do backflips

@heirtothehouseofblack stop looking at james' ass

@l00ny-m00ny @rosiers-are-red control your boyfriends 😭

@a-field-of-fucking-flowers @marls-girlkisser @verymarymacdonald @the-whimsical-rosier y'all look so pretty oml

JAMES, SIRIUS AND BARTY GET OFF OF THAT TABLE OR IM GONNA DEDUCT 100 POINTS EACH FROM GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

AW CMON EVANS, IM JUST HAVING SOME FUN

[heirtothehouseofblack]

@the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @siriusblackisnotadog @l00ny-m00ny @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald

guys is the party not starting now…?

[bartemius-the-second-crouch]

i've been here for an hour no one cool is here yet </3