Lily Evans

I'll fight your boyfriend and win <3

[smartestwitchofherage]

Intro ✨

Lily Evans

She/her

Lesbian

5th year ; Minor

Gryffindor Prefect

Will fight your boyfriend and win ✨

Don't disturb me while I'm studying. You'll be dead the next day.

Include me your pranks as long as we're not getting caught <3

People I know -

@jamespotterthedeer - James, 5/10 at best cuz he's gay for reg

@siriusblackisnotadog - Sirius, 5.5/10 cuz he's Rem's 'friend' (lie)

@l00ny-m00ny - Remusssssss, 1000/10 Rem you're the best

@halfbloodtwink - Severus. Twink. No comments.

@heirtothehouseofblack - Reg, 8/10, fellow human being who's annoyed with Sirius' antics

@marls-girlkisser - Marlene, 100/10, gayass

@verymarymacdonald - Mary, 100/10, girlkisser, pookilicious chocolate cake <333

@the-whimsical-rosier - Pandora, infinity/10, she's so hot omg

@aliceofashes - Alice, 100/10, sweetest person ever mwah

@bartemius-the-second-crouch - Barty, 8.5/10, gayass, do it in a room bitch

DNI - IF YOU'RE NOT A MINOR, OR IF YOU'RE A PIECE OF TRASH. I WILL CRUCIO YOU.

Rp blog, don't like? don't interact

Main - @academicloser69420

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

fair point Listen...Do as I say not as I do

[smartestwitchofherage]

Ik

Hunny you do Remus. Im pretty sure I will not be doing him

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Good, I think I'd have to kill you for that

[smartestwitchofherage]

Bitch we're both gay I think it's common knowledge that I despise dicks

[siriusblackisnotadog]

And I will never understand you for that, but i'm so happy that's the case

[smartestwitchofherage]

Yeah I saw you in first year and my brain went "nope." cuz you're a dick

[siriusblackisnotadog]

...good?..

[smartestwitchofherage]

Yes it's great

Oh hey btw can u ask Remus to bring me some chocolates n a heating pad?

[siriusblackisnotadog]

why Remus? there are like so many people who would do that for you

[smartestwitchofherage]

Because he knows exactly what type of chocolates I like and he's a cutie patootie (ie the only person who i don't wanna kill rn)

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

fair point Listen...Do as I say not as I do

[smartestwitchofherage]

Ik

Hunny you do Remus. Im pretty sure I will not be doing him

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Good, I think I'd have to kill you for that

[smartestwitchofherage]

Bitch we're both gay I think it's common knowledge that I despise dicks

[siriusblackisnotadog]

And I will never understand you for that, but i'm so happy that's the case

[smartestwitchofherage]

Yeah I saw you in first year and my brain went "nope." cuz you're a dick

[siriusblackisnotadog]

...good?..

[smartestwitchofherage]

Yes it's great

Oh hey btw can u ask Remus to bring me some chocolates n a heating pad?

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

fair point Listen...Do as I say not as I do

[smartestwitchofherage]

Ik

Hunny you do Remus. Im pretty sure I will not be doing him

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Good, I think I'd have to kill you for that

[smartestwitchofherage]

Bitch we're both gay I think it's common knowledge that I despise dicks

[siriusblackisnotadog]

And I will never understand you for that, but i'm so happy that's the case

[smartestwitchofherage]

Yeah I saw you in first year and my brain went "nope." cuz you're a dick

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

fair point Listen...Do as I say not as I do

[smartestwitchofherage]

Ik

Hunny you do Remus. Im pretty sure I will not be doing him

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Good, I think I'd have to kill you for that

[smartestwitchofherage]

Bitch we're both gay I think it's common knowledge that I despise dicks

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

fair point Listen...Do as I say not as I do

[smartestwitchofherage]

Ik

Hunny you do Remus. Im pretty sure I will not be doing him

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

no bruhh oh my god??? I mean, it's their fault. Everyone knows not to have sex in a broom cupboard unless you want to get caught

[smartestwitchofherage]

Why d'you not wanna be called gayass then huh

I...I'm actually curious as to how *you* have this information Siri..did you and Rem shag in the broom cupboard

Did you defile that child Sirius Black

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

stop calling me gayass bruh wait no I haven't, tell me everything now

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you being homophobic 💔🥀

OKAY SO apparently there were two sixth year Slytherins who were like. have sex in the broom cupboard in the second floor and FILCH CAUGHT THEM MID ACT

I HEARD THE SCREAMS ALL THREE OF THEM LET OUT WERE WORSE THAN A BANSHEE

[siriusblackisnotadog]

hi... hiii @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hey gayasssssss

Wait did you hear about those sixth years getting caught by Filch while they were shagging

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Happy pride guys, i'm still deciding whether I should call everyone gay more often or less often this month, I will update you when that decision is made @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[verymarymacdonald]

happy pride month !! cant believe they made a whole month about you sirius

[smartestwitchofherage]

AYEEEEE THATS TRUE LESGO MARYYYYYYY

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Happy pride guys, i'm still deciding whether I should call everyone gay more often or less often this month, I will update you when that decision is made @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Happy pride gayass <3

[halfbloodtwink]

Aww cuties ♥️

@heirtothehouseofblack @jamespotterthedeer @siriusblackisnotadog @marls-girlkisser @a-field-of-fucking-flowers @rosiers-are-red @the-whimsical-rosier (check comments)

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Awwwwwwwwwwww

[smartestwitchofherage]

Wow I feel stupid asking this but

Who are they...

[smartestwitchofherage]

Everyone listen, the marauders pulled ANOTHER prank and apparently they were stupid enough to do it in the Slytherin common room, knowing full well they could get into trouble.

Punishments are as follows

@siriusblackisnotadog No. Dog. Treats. For. You. + Helping out in the trophy room + Detention

@jamespotterthedeer No quidditch practice + helping out in cauldron cleaning + Detention

@l00ny-m00ny I don't think theres anything for you Rem, but you have to help in the library :(

@heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald

[jamespotterthedeer]

WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEEAAN no quidditch D:

[smartestwitchofherage]

I mean you're not allowed to go for quidditch practice and neither are you allowed to use your brooms OR we will confiscate it

[jamespotterthedeer]

you’re mean :(

[smartestwitchofherage]

You can still make out with baby black tsk

[smartestwitchofherage]

Everyone listen, the marauders pulled ANOTHER prank and apparently they were stupid enough to do it in the Slytherin common room, knowing full well they could get into trouble.

Punishments are as follows

@siriusblackisnotadog No. Dog. Treats. For. You. + Helping out in the trophy room + Detention

@jamespotterthedeer No quidditch practice + helping out in cauldron cleaning + Detention

@l00ny-m00ny I don't think theres anything for you Rem, but you have to help in the library :(

@heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald

[jamespotterthedeer]

WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEEAAN no quidditch D:

[smartestwitchofherage]

I mean you're not allowed to go for quidditch practice and neither are you allowed to use your brooms OR we will confiscate it

[siriusblackisnotadog]

just overheard 1st years talking about how they got cheated on??? You're 12?? why do you have a partner in the first place??? istg these kids are insane @the-whimsical-rosier @jamespotterthedeer @bartemius-the-second-crouch @marls-girlkisser @l00ny-m00ny @aliceofashes @halfbloodtwink @verymarymacdonald @smartestwitchofherage @heirtothehouseofblack

[smartestwitchofherage]

Excuse me- FIRST years???? aren't they like tadpole sized...

ignore the fact that I got my first partner at the ripe age of 14..

[siriusblackisnotadog]

first years ARE tadpoles I swear also who tf was dating you at 14???

[smartestwitchofherage]

Jeez don't be mean siri and uh- that is a Lot to unpack-

[siriusblackisnotadog]

I think we can be mean to firt years lily also get therapy

[smartestwitchofherage]

What no?? You're a fifth year why are you bullying tadpoles

First thing Sirius Black has gotten right in a decade 🙌😌

[siriusblackisnotadog]

because they're so tiny its insane I GET THINGS RIGHT ALL THE TIME???

[smartestwitchofherage]

You were a first year like four years ago shut up

Hunny no, and do u want some tea if yes then meet me in the common room w some wine or butterbeer

[siriusblackisnotadog]

gimme like 2 minutes bruh

[smartestwitchofherage]

Don't traumatize anyone

[siriusblackisnotadog]

i wasn't planning on it??? Sirius stumbles out of his dorm with a bottle of wine (that he shouldn't have) and two wine glasses (that he also shouldn't have) in his hands. He looks around the common room for Lily.

[smartestwitchofherage]

"Sirius!!" Lily waved, sitting on the best sofas in the common room, and told him to come over. "Gosh, Siri- I have SO MUCH to tell you.." she trailed off.

[siriusblackisnotadog]

Sirius walked over to Lily, and sat next to her on the couch. What happened? I haven't heard anything about anyone recently so.." Sirius said as he opened the bottle of wine.

[smartestwitchofherage]

She passed him a smug smile as she took the wine from his hands, "Do you remember my sister? Apparently she got a boyfriend, oh and I caught James in the prefect bathroom with someone...."

[siriusblackisnotadog]

"Your sister... I forget, do we like her or do we not like her?" Sirius paused at the news of James getting caught with somebody. "God, I hope it wasn't my brother...They've been sneaking around lately."

[smartestwitchofherage]

"Oh honey, I think the fact that THE calm Remus Lupin referred to her as 'a fucking disgrace' clears that doubt" She looked over at him, as he cradled his drink in his hands, "Not you r brother, Sirius? The last I checked it's him who has a constellation tattooed on his back soooo".

[smartestwitchofherage]

I miss my girlfriend 😔

@siriusblackisnotadog @jamespotterthedeer @heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald @marls-girlkisser

[aliceofashes]

I miss my soon to be girlf

[smartestwitchofherage]

Omg?? Did you ask her out yet??

[aliceofashes]

Nah, I did ask reggie to introduce me to her. Tho i don't think I'll need him, I ran into her yesterday after gryffindors quidditch practise and she almost hexed me, but you know its all part of the plan.

[smartestwitchofherage]

Hunny no...she almost hexed you..it's definitely not the part of the plan..

[smartestwitchofherage]

I miss my girlfriend 😔

@siriusblackisnotadog @jamespotterthedeer @heirtothehouseofblack @the-whimsical-rosier @bartemius-the-second-crouch @aliceofashes @verymarymacdonald @marls-girlkisser

[heirtothehouseofblack]

me too babes

[smartestwitchofherage]

Are you implying you miss my girlfriend too...

cuz ill be honest I do too