misfits sentence starters ! (nsfw, contains slurs, change pronouns etc accordingly)
“it’s that banksy prick. there’s a hidden meaning.”
“he’s like a handsome shark.”
“as one wise twat once said: men are from mars…..and women….love penis.”
“you’re so messed up and you don’t even know it.”
“i can be nice….sometimes.”
“in my experience, there isn’t a problem that can’t be solved by getting really, really drunk.”
“nobody loves themselves more than i do. i’d fuck myself in a heartbeat.”
“do you know what they used to call me in school? the pussy meister.”
“i loved you and you wouldn’t even look at me.”
“did you cry at my funeral? i bet all the girls there were wishing they shagged me. sorry ladies, this ship has already sailed!”
“i’ve always had balls, you’ve just never seen them.”
“i’m more of an e.t. man, me. i fuckin’ love the little cunt!”
“there’s only one thing young ladies should be inserting in themselves, and that’s knowledge.”
“she makes me feel complete.”
“if you ever need any advice on dicks, or dick maintenance shit, you know where i am.”
“you know, you hit me a lot.”
“are you sure we can’t manufacture some sort of happy ending?”
“not one of us knows how to steal a car? that’s pathetic.”
“you mean the world to me, you know you do.”
“and secondly, i thought we really had a bit of a will-they, won’t-they, yeah-they-probably-will sort of thing going on.”
“you fall in love with me.”
“i can feel it in my balls.”
“i’m going to get some chocolate because i’m really upset.”
“does anyone else feel like a total cunt?”
“can we please stop killing our probation workers?”
“dude, i saw her first, so legally that is first dibs.”
“if she wants to heal the world she can start with my cock.”
“sweet or savory? it’s man’s eternal dilemma.”
“you had to do it, she was going to kill me!”
“is that a joke? this isn’t the 70′s.”
“you betrayed me. i did not betray you!”
“whoever it was that was sucking your cock, it wasn’t me.”
“i’m not okay! i’m very far from being okay!”
“why am i holding this baby? i’m not trying to be sexist but one of you girls needs to take this off me.”
“it’s too early for this bullshit.”
“you’d screw your own sister for a slice of cheese.”
“it’s like losing three testicles.”
“you fuck with me, i’ll fuck with you right back with a cherry on top!”
“that is about the gayest thing i have ever heard.”
“what, you think i was watching him wank?”
“i have rubbed myself off on you, haven’t i?”
“me and him are the fucking beatles, mate, and you’re just that yodelling chinese woman.”
“look at me, beautiful! look at you, not so much!”
“don’t worry about me. i’ll just die…again.”
“i just find your objectification of men more than a little offensive.”
“are you asking me out on a date?”
“don’t speak to him like that.”
“i can fix this. how do i fix this?”
“do you know what i was doing when you so rudely interrupted me? i was nineteen and a half hours into a murder she wrote marathon.”
“well, they did it in the god father.”
“it’s a fancy dress party. it’s dark, you’ll all be wearing masks. perfect place to commit murder. and incest.”
“i have feelings, and so does my cock!”
“she’s out of your league. she’s laughing her arse off at you.”
“i’m going to pretend like i never saw this, because i really can’t be arsed.”
“sorry about the whole brainwashing thing. got a bit carried away.”
“i’m genetically programmed to fuck people’s sisters.”
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
amandla
