BASIC BETI

Basic Beti is an eclectic aesthetic, a British-Asian-Muslim mocktail, a culmination of efforts from two 20-somethings on the voyage of life. 

[basicbeti]

I just want a hot husband like Malala. Is that so much to ask?

Asian Austen

[basicbeti]

Why I won't miss the shallow abyss: a rant

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes back at you.

Nietzsche

Swiping. An app feature that leads to an abyss, but a very shallow one. Swipe against a boy’s profile, and another, and another, until your phone screen might self-combust in a chasm. 

It’s hard to tell the difference between boy and bot (sometimes even after an in-person meeting — they can be that basic) in a sea of half-hearted online requests for attention.

We reduce all the colour, light and joy of our lives down to a form filled in with basic facts, like a monotonous census. Some mysterious individuals barely accomplish that, choosing to present to prospective suitors the literary offering of a random keysmash to meet the minimum character count.

In my experience, people on the internet are not what they seem. Just a ten minute chat with a boy who broadcasted ‘I am a Practising Man’ on his profile (yes, in archetypal Title Caps) confirmed my suspicions that strangers really can be strange. Don’t get me wrong, some are more honest about their intentions. Meaning, they inform you upfront they are there just for unsavoury reasons.

Let’s hope the good men climb out of the abyss, or that a filter for ‘non-smoker, non-ugly’ becomes a new feature (to borrow the classic words of Joey from Friends.)  😂 People are not dispensable, replaceable, or a shopping list of classifications in a rather unnatural marital market. I know the process has a mixture of positive and negative reviews but there’s no rush, someday the right guy IRL will gaze back at me, not from an abyss.

[basicbeti]

Shades of self-empowerment

Self-empowerment.

A word as weighty as a planet on the page.

Many moons ago, when the passage of time hadn’t yet made my patience wane, I would have approached writing about this differently. I’d have spewed statistics, and I’d have de-glamorised the ghosts of Disney princesses lingering in our collective imagination, and I’d have championed examples of women embracing life boldly, in the face of society's pressure to ‘finally’ find their Prince Charming. That was my perspective of self-empowerment when I was younger.

Maybe I’d have told funny, ‘relatable’ anecdotes about the aunties who routinely question us, ever laden with expectation. Each sparkling wedding we attend, a reminder of the tradition, the destined next chapter, the perfect chapatti-round circle of life... and a partner with plenty of dough too 🤑 But I’d have gladly shunned society’s pressure in my quest for self-empowerment. I’d remember to celebrate ourselves, all of us, married or not. Single life is something to be cherished, and marriage is something chosen to enrich life.

However, today, self-empowerment is a little more complex than that for me. Lots of us have a natural inclination wishing to ‘complete half our deen’, society’s pressure aside. It’s essential for us to put our trust in the Creator and have patience, embracing the divine wisdom that everything has a reason and an appointed time, meanwhile enjoying all the beauty and joy that the world offers.