the fifth bastard

he/him, i dont know what im doing, but neither does anyone else so its fine :)

[bastard-number-5]

Introoooo post

Hellooo person in my phone, I am now also in your phone!!

You can call me David or Bastard, he/him

currently going crazy about:

- Gokurakugai

- Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

- Hollow Knight: Silksong

- K-Pop Demon Hunters

- Magic: the Gathering

- Dr Who

- Witch Hat Atelier

- Jujutsu Kaisen

- Overwatch 2

- Dungeons and Dragons

- Neon Genesis Evangelion

- The Legend of Zelda

- Linked Universe

- Sons of the Forest

- Destiny 2

- RWBY (still need to watch season 9 aurgh)

- Elden Ring

- Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

- Dark Souls 1

- Baldur's Gate III

- Hearthstone

- Genshin Impact

- How to train your Dragon

- Violet Evergarden

- Arcane (still need to watch Season 2 aurgh)

- the rest i forgor

Poetry under #my attempt at poetry

Wizardblr over at @keanoris

Gimmick blog over at @echo-flower-from-undertale

Planar Posting (reblogs) over at @the-reblogging-planeswalker

Planar Posting (actual posts) over at @bravest-mechanic

[ryebreadgf]

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

[shamebats]

Since there is a wave of anti-birth control propaganda, this is your reminder that the birth coontrol pill was responsible for 30% more women graduating with college degrees between 1970-1990

[cwicseolfor]

Also a whole lot of people need it to hold down a job or stay in school regardless of reproductive risk: it offers menstrual control. It can be the difference between debilitating, bedbound periods and normal function. It’s medicine. It’s also very cheap to produce and returns soooo many thousands of dollars to the economy for every dollar it costs, so don’t let anyone make a false financial argument about it.

[scramratz]

like yea you shouldn't expect anything out of being a nice person, you should be nice because its a good thing to do, but i can't emphasis enough just how many perks you get by not being an asshole.

[scramratz]

Case in point: barista at the coffee shop I frequent gave me a tiny duckie

[sea-salted-wolverine]

My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I would like to clarify that this animal self feeds and is not being denied breakfast by my sleeping in. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Everyone else simply gets increasingly invasive headbutts and even thats a fairly rare occurence. This fucking cat needs to cuddle with me specifically, And he is decided that the best way to do it is to gently shove his claws underneath my eyelashes and pull. There is no way I can train him out of this because believe it or not shoving your fingers in somebody's eyes to wake them up has the desired reaction.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

We have come to a compromise. One that neatly illustrates the reason I'm not wearing an eyemask.

If I have a hair tie on my wrist, my darling sweet baby boy, love of my life and apple of my eye, can gingerly dig his teeth underneath and grab it in his mouth and then back up. and pull. And Snap the hell out of me with the elastic. Again, he is very gentle and precise, there are never teeth touching my skin. This is not a fluke, he managed this several times in various circumstances and positions.

This is worse than a toddler. We are approaching diabolical machinations hitherto undreamt of by domestic felines.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[penny-anna]

what the hell is going on

[penny-anna]

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

[penny-anna]

Please god it would be so funny

[penny-anna]

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

[penny-anna]

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

[butterflyslinky]

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

[penny-anna]

I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.

Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.

[penny-anna]

The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[yayee-prsp]

Arko collection

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[thebostonstrangler]

[vaguely-concerned]

can u believe that's the first thing he considers. 'I'm sorry in advance for hypothetically and unwittingly saying something kind of mean to you at some point in the future (as a direct result of this insane sacrifice I'm making for you)'. bb!qifrey was right he is too nice for his own good

[a-particular-j-name]

i think this is my magnum opus idk how i can top this

[bugged-ubuntu]

It's way to early to be thinking about distribution of the game I'm working on, but I really can't imagine distributing a game in any other way than throwing the source code and the binaries onto my website and letting people download it for free. Maybe even get it in the gnome software center.

I could see myself trying to get it on Steam for like $15, but I don't know how they would feel about me distributing my software for free on another platform.

[card-designers-without-borders]

[card-designers-without-borders]

[card-designers-without-borders]