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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@bat-news
“BREAKING NEWS!”
Haitus until next POW SMP
The tv flickers on, glowing red in the dim light. It’s static for a moment before clearing to a tiny bat holding a microphone. A large ‘breaking news!’ Above it. Ready to interview all who come its way… or who it seeks out because the story doesn’t write itself!
As Scott watches a flower bloom something starts to shake in it, then a whole bat pops out- like some sort of cartoon “I was waiting a very long time for that entrance! So this interview is long overdue! However- Welcome to Bat Bews! For the first time ever-“ somehow it says that line as if it’s lying, though that isn’t possible, “Scott Springwell! You heard it here first! Now we’ll start this interview NICE AND EASY! How do you feel knowing your fellow blue kingdom members first reaction when hearing about the red-lady was that you were a murderer? I mean what Scott what ever kill anything.” It makes direct eye contact with a floating camera that joined somewhere between the magical-talking-bat and references Scott doesn’t understand “Do you feel scandalized? Betrayed? Hurt?” It pries, tipping its jumbo microphone towards Scott, only slightly struggling to keep it upright.
"Ah!" Scott gasped, flinching back as the bat suddenly appeared out the flower. Holding a microphone nonetheless, bombarding him with such an overwhelming question. If this was 'easy' Scott was afraid to see what was hard. Scott blinked, trying to get his bearings to answer.
"I- did they say that? Mh-" he took a breath, trying not to shrink into himself and disappear on the spot. "I.. I would never do something like that, they know that. They were probably just confused. It's ridiculous to think!"
(Sorry this took me so long omg I hadn't watched the vod where they talked about this so I literally didn't know what this was about until now 😭)
The bat smirked- if that was possible for a bat to do “That wasn’t the question. We all know you wouldn’t-er- couldn’t, so something like that,” almost like a challenge, “I just mean that… were just starting to fit in and now… now you realize how much they doubt you, yes? Or do you still hold faith they trust you? If so, I do admire your… positivity.” It said, fully aware of its condescending tone, tilting the microphone, full pressure to answer
It’s okay! I take long time to respond to things to :3
BREAKING NEWS: the legendary scott goldsmith blog has made a bf scott blog!!
(they made him so soft I'm gonna cry, pretty lil baby 🥺🥺)
BREAKING NEWS:
The bat is off camera faster than you can say ‘breaking news’ “ON IT!”
WHEN DID YOU RETURN????
The bat gives a grin “Bat never leaves!” It gives a small bow, only slightly falling and doing a flip mid-air, then playing it off with a “BREAKING NEWS: BAT IS AWESOME AT FLIPS!”
ooc: around new years :3
Everything seems normal until it heres a small squeak from above when she makes a particularly large jump only to reach and feel a full Bat on her crown, peached like a bird in a nest, a small microphone looped around it, “Hello and welcome to Bat News! I’m your host Bat and today we are joined with a Princess? I think I’ll let you introduce yourself this time, though I’m sure many of the viewers know who you are based off the requests I’ve received to interview her majesty! so! Go ahead and introduce yourself! Share a story with all the curious cats at home perhaps? Not every day you get to speak to a princess.”
The princess startles immediately at the sight of a talking bat, inspecting the creature on her crown for a few moments before clearing her throat and nodding politely.
“ Oh- hello my subjects! And.. host Bat ? ” She tilts her head slightly, careful not to tip the reporter off of her head. “ I’m honoured to hear that my people wish to know more about me ! I’m Cherri-Fire, princess of the kingdom of Soluna and Sun Protector in-training! ”
“ As for a story.. well, I’m not really meant to share this, but did you know that my dear Moonknight Apo hates bugs ? She can’t stand the things! ” She grins, giggling to herself quietly.
Bat finally flies where she can see it properly, small thing, seemingly very friendly “You remind me of a old friend, so I won’t push to far, but I must ask, if not for my own curiosity, do you actively choose to do things to frustrate your knight?”
It cleared its throat “I don’t mean it’s a bad thing, it’s very funny for the viewers, and I live for good entertainment, I just mean that she seems very dedicated to thou and you seem not to share that mindset, we’re all dying to understand.”
She seems slightly confused at the mention of viewers and entertainment, but remains polite and respectful.
“ Why do I frustrate Apo ..? Well, it’s fun! And she.. needs to.. loosen up a little! She seems so set on this idea that we are going to be attacked at any moment, or that I’m going to get hurt, but I don’t see why she’s so concerned !”
She shifts her weight slightly, thinking of how to say her next words.
“ Everyone here has been nothing but welcoming, really! Even the Blue Kingdom! They can be.. hostile. But I don’t think they’d ever try to seriously harm me ! ”
The bat nods “You seem to think honorably of blue kingdom, does this not conflict with your goals as current monarch? Would you rather seek peace? I suppose it’s understandable that you wouldn’t love violence but I must ask, most have the impression you’re not outright looking for a truce.”
I've come to talk to you about our lord and savior, Count Dracula.
Bat stares blankly, “The power of Jeremy and Scott Smajor compels you?” It finally manages, still mostly surprised
A small bat flies up, holding a large microphone- it practically fell multiple times while it approached- clearing its throat “can you hear me? Sorry I’m a bit rusty. Well, my name is Bat, you’re on bat-news! Many people have requested I interview the one and only Kitty. So I’ll start this nice and easy, if you could turn back into a cat? Would you?” It tilted the microphone to her, a offer
i still am a cat, just not physically. i want to be one physically though. i miss being small and nimble and having claws
The bat nods slowly “yes, yes, so then how did you learn English? I know from personal experience it’s not immediate understanding. Unless the magic was different for you?”
it isn't difficult to pick up the language after hearing it spoken enough
Gonna be honest idk how canon this is I'm just making stuff up atp-
“Truly? How long have you heard it spoken?”
(OOC: Cannon isn’t very important to be as long as it’s fun!)
uh... as long as i have been alive, so... two years i think
it is not too complex of a language
“Not complex… right, Kitty can you read this?” Bat raised a small paper with writing on it, reading ‘how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.’ it smirks
'give kitty all the mice'
what a pleasant sign. im waiting :3
The bat slowly turns to the camera “YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Give Kitty all the mice! Donate your dead mice to her!” And with that, Bat swirls off into the distance, the camera fast after.
*talking to Bat* r u a ragebaiter on purpose or is that just ur personality
like not to be mean. It’s funny. Just curious
The tv flickers on as Bat reads the viewer note
“Well it’s my job, if I was all sunshine and rainbows no one would tune in, I do have the ability to be different, but until shown a reason not to be a ‘rage baiter’ I will continue. If the viewers like it, I shall continue!”
OOC: I really wanted to touch on this out of character for a second, just to make the point that Bat is meant to be a reflection of the internet and how society is FAR too comfortable questioning people they don’t actually know, so Bat of course is a ragebaiter through and through but it’s not because it’s mean, but it’s because Bat sees the people it interviews like we see people on the internet. It dehumanizes them to a point where it only wants a reaction. So it isn’t necessarily Bat’s personality, just it’s role in the story I’m trying to tell :3
Very important question: What is your Medieval weapon of choice?
BREAKING NEWS: MICROPHONE. BONK.
A itty-bitty bat flew up, panting slightly, holding an enormous microphone it practically fell multiple times “A little help here?” After collecting itself, it spoke again “Hello! My name is Bat and this is Batnews! Today I am interviewing a highly requested soul! Owain! We’ll start with an easy question, if you could change one thing about your armor, what would it be?”
*Owain’s body language appears mildly startled, though it’s hard to tell with the mask.*
“Are you a talking bat…? Suppose it’s not the oddest thing around…” *He clears his throat.* “…I wouldn’t change my armor. It serves me well, and I like it as it is. Besides, it is symbolical.”
The bat nods along “it’s a long story, I need the microphone to speak but no less!” It steadies itself on a nearby branch “Really? You’d keep it a Lion? That’s…” it pauses, unsurprisingly, as a news anchor, it does want good drama “Is that an insult to other species? That you wouldn’t even consider other animals? And please do elaborate on symbolism, I truly would love to hear you sterotype a full special.” It asks, somehow still sounding genuinely inquisitive despite its hostile words.
“It’s ceremonial. I forged this armor with my own two hands for a reasons. And I suppose you could say that as lions are symbols of noble hunters and brave fighters, though I do have my own reasons. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m keeping my cards close to my chest, for now.”
The bat’s eyes narrowed, ever searching for a story “I don’t mind, but the viewers at home might!” It turned to the camera, giving what may have been a salut, hard to tell when it’s a bat. “And you didn’t answer my question, was it an insult to other animals? I do understand the fact that Lions are claimed to be strong but there is certainly stronger. Though I do see the aspect of pride you have in common.”
“The view- the what?” *Owain stares at the camera with confusion, before shaking it off.*
*He straightens, as though unsure whether to be insulted.*
“What do you mean by that? Is pride not a noble attribute?” *He pauses.* “And I do not see how choosing to wear a lion mask should insult other animals. I do suppose there are stronger creatures, but strength is not everything. Loyalty and battle prowess are also to be considered, among other attributes.”
“Viewers, keep up.” The bat rolled it’s eyes— or at least the best it could, being a bat and all… “Pride can be a noble trait, this is true, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. When unmoderated, pride becomes arrogance. Are you arrogant Owain? Have you ever been called that before? Surely not…” it flutters its wings softly, ever charming, yet still somehow vaguely hostile.
“I- No, I shouldn’t think so? Are you upset with me?” *Owain shifts, tilting his head slightly, as he confused expression is not visible.* “Pride is not my defining trait, as I’ve said.”
The bat paused for a second “No, I’m a reporter, it’s my job to be neutral, I don’t have opinions, I have stories. Though enough about me, we were getting somewhere good! When would you say someone has questioned your motives, loyalty, whatever you find your best trait, the most, in say… the past week.” It pauses for dramatic effect “With all these new people joining the kingdom, do you still have the respect you used to?”
“Of course I do. I am loyal to the kingdom, and as they are now members of the kingdom, they are under my protection.” *Owain’s body language reads almost as insulted.* “My loyalty to the kingdom has never been questioned. There is no need to question it. I am loyal to my kingdom and my monarch first and foremost. My morals, on the other hand, might be a different story… Nom doesn’t have his heart in it. Not fully.” *He mutters the last part to himself.*
The bat’s face lights up like a star “What was that about Nom? Is there anything you’d like to the camera? I mean you’ve already said it on live television so you might as well elaborate! Unless… you’re too coward?” The bat challenges, finally in its element
“I- Coward? How dare you- I charge into battle, fully aware I may be running to my death, without hesitation, and you would call me a coward?”
*Owain huffs, mildly offended.* “If you must know, Nom and I have… a conflict of interest, so to speak. I obey my monarchs orders, as per my oath. He, on the other hand, has… torn loyalties.”
“I never called you a coward, I just implied it, yet you’ve not proven me wrong, dying for a cause is easy, living for it is harder.” It pauses, eyes almost looking past Owain for a second “You need not be so formal here, we all know Nom is an Oath breaker, nothing is private on the internet.”
It shakes its head, re-orienting “So it’s resentment? You’d prefer all knights to be like yourself? All wishing full destruction upon the red kingdom? No line to be drawn? Between innocent and evil? Is it truly so black and white?”
Everything seems normal until it heres a small squeak from above when she makes a particularly large jump only to reach and feel a full Bat on her crown, peached like a bird in a nest, a small microphone looped around it, “Hello and welcome to Bat News! I’m your host Bat and today we are joined with a Princess? I think I’ll let you introduce yourself this time, though I’m sure many of the viewers know who you are based off the requests I’ve received to interview her majesty! so! Go ahead and introduce yourself! Share a story with all the curious cats at home perhaps? Not every day you get to speak to a princess.”
The princess startles immediately at the sight of a talking bat, inspecting the creature on her crown for a few moments before clearing her throat and nodding politely.
“ Oh- hello my subjects! And.. host Bat ? ” She tilts her head slightly, careful not to tip the reporter off of her head. “ I’m honoured to hear that my people wish to know more about me ! I’m Cherri-Fire, princess of the kingdom of Soluna and Sun Protector in-training! ”
“ As for a story.. well, I’m not really meant to share this, but did you know that my dear Moonknight Apo hates bugs ? She can’t stand the things! ” She grins, giggling to herself quietly.
Bat finally flies where she can see it properly, small thing, seemingly very friendly “You remind me of a old friend, so I won’t push to far, but I must ask, if not for my own curiosity, do you actively choose to do things to frustrate your knight?”
It cleared its throat “I don’t mean it’s a bad thing, it’s very funny for the viewers, and I live for good entertainment, I just mean that she seems very dedicated to thou and you seem not to share that mindset, we’re all dying to understand.”
A small bat flies up to Apo, landing on the edge of her weapon, in a landscape sends, hanging in a way that surely defies gravity “Hello and welcome to Bat News! Where I, your host, Bat, am here to find all the juicy stories of this land! After deep analysis and many requests, it’s time we interview Apo of the Red kingdom! So! We are going to start very easy, if the Princesses wanted peace between blue and red, would you try to make that happen?”
(OOC: take your time responding btw, irl stuff is far more important and make sure to take care of yourself first!)
*Apo startles at the sudden appearance of the bat. She had half a mind to try shake them off her spear but held back, afraid of hurting the apparently talking bat*
I, um, I don't remember agreeing to the interview...
*she seems a bit confused but answers the bat anyways*
Well, I don't necessarily care about the war between the two kingdoms if I'm being honest.
The people of the blue kingdom sure are annoying but if my lady wishes to end the war and bring peace between the kingdoms, I shall do everything in my power to make it possible.
(thank you for being understanding little bat! <3)
The bat tilts its head, looking somehow humored “No one agrees to be on bat-news, they get chosen, simple system really. If they knew they would prepare and having no media training if very important for these sorts of things.” It explains matter-of-factly “unless of course you have something to hide?” It pushes, but not quite hostile
A small bat flies up, holding a large microphone- it practically fell multiple times while it approached- clearing its throat “can you hear me? Sorry I’m a bit rusty. Well, my name is Bat, you’re on bat-news! Many people have requested I interview the one and only Kitty. So I’ll start this nice and easy, if you could turn back into a cat? Would you?” It tilted the microphone to her, a offer
i still am a cat, just not physically. i want to be one physically though. i miss being small and nimble and having claws
The bat nods slowly “yes, yes, so then how did you learn English? I know from personal experience it’s not immediate understanding. Unless the magic was different for you?”
it isn't difficult to pick up the language after hearing it spoken enough
Gonna be honest idk how canon this is I'm just making stuff up atp-
“Truly? How long have you heard it spoken?”
(OOC: Cannon isn’t very important to be as long as it’s fun!)
uh... as long as i have been alive, so... two years i think
it is not too complex of a language
“Not complex… right, Kitty can you read this?” Bat raised a small paper with writing on it, reading ‘how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.’ it smirks
A itty-bitty bat flew up, panting slightly, holding an enormous microphone it practically fell multiple times “A little help here?” After collecting itself, it spoke again “Hello! My name is Bat and this is Batnews! Today I am interviewing a highly requested soul! Owain! We’ll start with an easy question, if you could change one thing about your armor, what would it be?”
*Owain’s body language appears mildly startled, though it’s hard to tell with the mask.*
“Are you a talking bat…? Suppose it’s not the oddest thing around…” *He clears his throat.* “…I wouldn’t change my armor. It serves me well, and I like it as it is. Besides, it is symbolical.”
The bat nods along “it’s a long story, I need the microphone to speak but no less!” It steadies itself on a nearby branch “Really? You’d keep it a Lion? That’s…” it pauses, unsurprisingly, as a news anchor, it does want good drama “Is that an insult to other species? That you wouldn’t even consider other animals? And please do elaborate on symbolism, I truly would love to hear you sterotype a full special.” It asks, somehow still sounding genuinely inquisitive despite its hostile words.
“It’s ceremonial. I forged this armor with my own two hands for a reasons. And I suppose you could say that as lions are symbols of noble hunters and brave fighters, though I do have my own reasons. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m keeping my cards close to my chest, for now.”
The bat’s eyes narrowed, ever searching for a story “I don’t mind, but the viewers at home might!” It turned to the camera, giving what may have been a salut, hard to tell when it’s a bat. “And you didn’t answer my question, was it an insult to other animals? I do understand the fact that Lions are claimed to be strong but there is certainly stronger. Though I do see the aspect of pride you have in common.”
“The view- the what?” *Owain stares at the camera with confusion, before shaking it off.*
*He straightens, as though unsure whether to be insulted.*
“What do you mean by that? Is pride not a noble attribute?” *He pauses.* “And I do not see how choosing to wear a lion mask should insult other animals. I do suppose there are stronger creatures, but strength is not everything. Loyalty and battle prowess are also to be considered, among other attributes.”
“Viewers, keep up.” The bat rolled it’s eyes— or at least the best it could, being a bat and all… “Pride can be a noble trait, this is true, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. When unmoderated, pride becomes arrogance. Are you arrogant Owain? Have you ever been called that before? Surely not…” it flutters its wings softly, ever charming, yet still somehow vaguely hostile.
“I- No, I shouldn’t think so? Are you upset with me?” *Owain shifts, tilting his head slightly, as he confused expression is not visible.* “Pride is not my defining trait, as I’ve said.”
The bat paused for a second “No, I’m a reporter, it’s my job to be neutral, I don’t have opinions, I have stories. Though enough about me, we were getting somewhere good! When would you say someone has questioned your motives, loyalty, whatever you find your best trait, the most, in say… the past week.” It pauses for dramatic effect “With all these new people joining the kingdom, do you still have the respect you used to?”
“Of course I do. I am loyal to the kingdom, and as they are now members of the kingdom, they are under my protection.” *Owain’s body language reads almost as insulted.* “My loyalty to the kingdom has never been questioned. There is no need to question it. I am loyal to my kingdom and my monarch first and foremost. My morals, on the other hand, might be a different story… Nom doesn’t have his heart in it. Not fully.” *He mutters the last part to himself.*
The bat’s face lights up like a star “What was that about Nom? Is there anything you’d like to the camera? I mean you’ve already said it on live television so you might as well elaborate! Unless… you’re too coward?” The bat challenges, finally in its element
A itty-bitty bat flew up, panting slightly, holding an enormous microphone it practically fell multiple times “A little help here?” After collecting itself, it spoke again “Hello! My name is Bat and this is Batnews! Today I am interviewing a highly requested soul! Owain! We’ll start with an easy question, if you could change one thing about your armor, what would it be?”
*Owain’s body language appears mildly startled, though it’s hard to tell with the mask.*
“Are you a talking bat…? Suppose it’s not the oddest thing around…” *He clears his throat.* “…I wouldn’t change my armor. It serves me well, and I like it as it is. Besides, it is symbolical.”
The bat nods along “it’s a long story, I need the microphone to speak but no less!” It steadies itself on a nearby branch “Really? You’d keep it a Lion? That’s…” it pauses, unsurprisingly, as a news anchor, it does want good drama “Is that an insult to other species? That you wouldn’t even consider other animals? And please do elaborate on symbolism, I truly would love to hear you sterotype a full special.” It asks, somehow still sounding genuinely inquisitive despite its hostile words.
“It’s ceremonial. I forged this armor with my own two hands for a reasons. And I suppose you could say that as lions are symbols of noble hunters and brave fighters, though I do have my own reasons. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m keeping my cards close to my chest, for now.”
The bat’s eyes narrowed, ever searching for a story “I don’t mind, but the viewers at home might!” It turned to the camera, giving what may have been a salut, hard to tell when it’s a bat. “And you didn’t answer my question, was it an insult to other animals? I do understand the fact that Lions are claimed to be strong but there is certainly stronger. Though I do see the aspect of pride you have in common.”
“The view- the what?” *Owain stares at the camera with confusion, before shaking it off.*
*He straightens, as though unsure whether to be insulted.*
“What do you mean by that? Is pride not a noble attribute?” *He pauses.* “And I do not see how choosing to wear a lion mask should insult other animals. I do suppose there are stronger creatures, but strength is not everything. Loyalty and battle prowess are also to be considered, among other attributes.”
“Viewers, keep up.” The bat rolled it’s eyes— or at least the best it could, being a bat and all… “Pride can be a noble trait, this is true, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. When unmoderated, pride becomes arrogance. Are you arrogant Owain? Have you ever been called that before? Surely not…” it flutters its wings softly, ever charming, yet still somehow vaguely hostile.
“I- No, I shouldn’t think so? Are you upset with me?” *Owain shifts, tilting his head slightly, as he confused expression is not visible.* “Pride is not my defining trait, as I’ve said.”
The bat paused for a second “No, I’m a reporter, it’s my job to be neutral, I don’t have opinions, I have stories. Though enough about me, we were getting somewhere good! When would you say someone has questioned your motives, loyalty, whatever you find your best trait, the most, in say… the past week.” It pauses for dramatic effect “With all these new people joining the kingdom, do you still have the respect you used to?”
Pstttt
I heard that apokuna from red kingdom has woken up! May we request an interview from them?
(OOC: you asked two questions so I just combined them)
The bat flies onto camera, grinning “Why yes! Always feel free to give recommendations! Your wish is my command! On it! Stay tuned for more on Apo!”
A small bat flies up, holding a large microphone- it practically fell multiple times while it approached- clearing its throat “can you hear me? Sorry I’m a bit rusty. Well, my name is Bat, you’re on bat-news! Many people have requested I interview the one and only Kitty. So I’ll start this nice and easy, if you could turn back into a cat? Would you?” It tilted the microphone to her, a offer
i still am a cat, just not physically. i want to be one physically though. i miss being small and nimble and having claws
The bat nods slowly “yes, yes, so then how did you learn English? I know from personal experience it’s not immediate understanding. Unless the magic was different for you?”
it isn't difficult to pick up the language after hearing it spoken enough
Gonna be honest idk how canon this is I'm just making stuff up atp-
“Truly? How long have you heard it spoken?”
(OOC: Cannon isn’t very important to be as long as it’s fun!)
